onetruekev – onetruekev

A Forest

I was quite undecided about what to use as a title for this piece, there was the allure of using The Kinks as Ray Davies used to live in Borehamwood in the sixties when they were at their height. With the train station being Elstree & Borehamwood then there were films or movies galore I could have used. And then last night we were at a Psychedelic Furs gig at the London Palladium, so I could shoehorn one of their tracks in as a title. With the Eastenders studios here I could have gone with Anita Dobson’s “Anyone Can Fall In Love”. Or as one hit wonder Marilyn grew up here there was “Calling Your Name” to consider as well. But they are Boreham Wood, and we are “A Forest” by The Cure. Or, as the game turned out, we can’t see the wood for the trees.

Quiz Time answer – Bristol Rovers are one of six sides to have lost multiple EFL Trophy finals but have never won it. One of those other five is in League Two this season, name them – Shrewsbury Town.

Bonus quiz time, seeing as we were playing the gas, having many gases have I managed to sledgehammer into this piece (may be as the whole word, part of a word, or split across two)? 10 – methane, oxygen, hydrogen, krypton, argon, neon, acetylene, nitrogen, laughing gas, and boron.

And I did remember what my other song title was going to be, I was going to go for Fools’ Gold by the Stone Roses, as fool’s gold is the colloquial name for iron pyrites (pirates).

Now that former boss Steve Evans has time on his hands after shedding loads of weight and not managing, he’s started doing a weekly column in the Football League Paper. And speaking of newspapers, Grant (him of the ever-popular fan cam fame) had six of his photographs from last Saturday’s game used in the various pieces in the Crawley Observer this week.

There is a bit of squad crossover. Tola Showunmi started his youth career at Boreham Wood and was there for two seasons (in the same youth squad as Muhammad Faal), and Kabby Tshimanga spent two seasons there, and went back there on loan from Peterborough last year. On the other side Boreham Wood have Jack Payne who played for us in the 2022-23 season before going to them from us (he’s also their assistant manager now), and they have Aaron Henry who was on loan to us from Charlton Athletic in the 2023-24 season. There is something about our Crawley strikers also playing at Boreham Wood, as last season they also had Kwesi Appiah who went to them in our clear out of 2023. Danilo Orsi also played for them in 2022 before going to Grimsby and then on to us. And Ollie Palmer spent time on loan there long before he came to us. And they have had their celebrity players as well; they will take our Mark Wright and throw in Jeff Brazier and Bradley Walsh.

There is only the one previous game against Boreham Wood, a third round FA Trophy game at the Broadfield in February 2006, which saw us lose 2-0. Going into this game Boreham Wood are fourth in the National League, which means in real terms they are only five places behind us in the league structure. They lost last weekend against Forest Green Rovers, a game which brought a thirteen-game unbeaten stream to an end, where we broke our winless streak.

And with only one game against them, then there is only the one programme, which I have managed to find, despite the game taking place two months before I moved to Crawley in April 2006.

Scott Lindsey has picked up a touchline ban for this game for abusing officials after the Shrewsbury Town away loss. Meanwhile the error strewn officials are off screwing up someone else’s afternoon as we speak.

As I’ve nothing better to be doing during the week I’d built a spreadsheet comparing the current season with the 2022-23 one where we struggled at the wrong end of the table all season. After fourteen games we are on the same points as back then.

(NB it’s not true, I had literally hundreds of things that would have been better uses of my time, or that I should have been doing, but my brain doesn’t want to do anything it usually does and is finding time wasting diversions to fill the void of can’t be arsed instead.)

With Boreham Wood only ever being a non-league side, I was struggling for football cards. Even finding someone on a card who might have played for them was coming up blank, so the closest I got was the fact that Tim Sherwood was born there, and there are 90-91 and 91-92 Proset cards from his time at Norwich City, what is most interesting to me is that on both it lists his place of birth as being St Albans.

I had a leisurely journey up from Blackfriars this morning after staying in London last night after the Psychedelic Furs gig. It gave me time to have a wander down to Elstree village, which is lovely, before coming back to Borehamwood where all the world-famous Elstree film studios are actually located. The roads are lined with plaques to the luminaries of the film world. I’m not sure about so many of them being to Hammer films and their main stars is a good sign, we could do without a horror show today.

And I hope the last of the plaques seen on the way to the ground isn’t a sign either. We really don’t need a muppet show today either.

Had a mooch in the charity shops, you’d expect them to be full of film and TV related books and memorabilia, but there’s nothing. This book was on prominent display in one of them though.

And I did find a random football related book.

I got to the ground a few minutes before the team coach did. The players have to go up through the same away entrance as the fans do, so we had to wait for the players to get in before the fans were allowed in.

It’s a decent enough ground for non-league and shows their aspirations towards league football. It’s better than Harrogate’s ground was a couple of years ago, and anything would be an improvement on Barrow. Although as kick off time approached the sun of earlier disappeared and rain rolled in and it’s noted that the away terrace is uncovered. And Arsenal ladies play here, the number of Arsenal signs around the ground are giving me hives.

They don’t do a physical programme but there is an online PDF version which is decent enough. It includes an article on top strikers since the Second World War, written by the same person who did the defenders one which was in the Shrewsbury Town programme a couple of weeks ago.

Boreham Wood are in all white and we are in our all black third kit. There are no changes to the side which beat Bristol Rovers 4-0 last weekend.

A reasonable start and Geraldo Bajrami is attempting to tip toe through defenders on the edge of the box and is brought down. Muted claims for a free kick/penalty are waved away. There are a couple of attempted crosses which drift out for goal kicks.

Max Anderson picks up a booking for preventing a quick free kick in midfield. When taken it’s worked well and a fizzing cross hits Dion Conroy on the head and goes for a corner.

A ball in midfield is played back by Anderson but it’s too strong for Josh Flint, a Boreham Wood player beats Conroy’s attempted tackle and there are three in the box with time and space to beat JoJo Wollacott in goal and we trail 0-1.

And Wollacott is having no difficulty launching long balls forward, but most are too long and too straight and going to the Boreham Wood keeper, and some players are showing frustration with him.

A long ball down the right and Conroy makes a challenge on the edge of the box and brings the player down and the ref points to the spot and books Conroy. The penalty is dinked down the middle and we trail 0-2.

We go long down the right and Ryan Loft harries the keeper into skying the ball over the side of the stadium. The throw is worked into the box, and we get a corner, Boreham Wood break, their number 7 is miles offside but waved on, and a shot goes wide. We put ball two out over the stand on the other side.

A long diagonal ball from Conroy is flicked out for a corner. It’s played low to Conroy, and his shot is blocked and cleared. Any half decent attack is coming to an end with us committing a stupid foul.

Kyle Scott and Scott Malone combine down left, and Malone’s cross is just taken off Louis Watson’s toes for a corner. It’s taken deep and Charlie Barker heads back across, but it drifts out wide. Another ball down the left and Malone crosses deep and it’s turned behind for a corner which is taken short and wasted.

Whoever is sat two rows behind me is making TAFKAL look like an amateur with the constant barracking of the officials.

We have a spell of possession in the Boreham Wood half, playing left to right and back to Gavan Holohan for a shot which takes half a block and loops up for the keeper to collect easily.

Barker picks up a booking for something on the next Boreham Wood attack. There is a big ironic cheer when the lino puts his flag up for offside. A ball down the Boreham Wood right sees Flint beaten for pace and there are two on one, it’s played across and a great save from Wollacott keeps the score down. The Boreham Wood number 7 beats Flint for pace again and gets a ball into the box and a shot goes wide.

We have another of those attacks where we play the ball back and forth across the edge of the area before a Watson shot goes straight to the keeper. There is a lot of possession in and around the box but a reluctance to shoot. Boreham Wood have no such qualms, they break quickly and a shot goes just wide. We go back up the other end as two added minutes are announced and do more of the same. Holohan is down with a head injury, Loft careers into a challenge and gets a yellow. He then appears to nut someone in the aftermath and gets a straight red.

Stupid, just stupid. He may have been hard done by, by shit reffing at Harrogate but this one is all him. Although, not defending him, but there is the question of why the ref hadn’t stopped play for the head injury before Loft made the initial idiotic challenge.

We’re down to ten men and this is looking proper fucked now, the half time whistle goes and we trail 0-2. The plaques in the town have combined with this being a horror show with us playing like muppets.

There are two substitutions at half time with Louie Flower and Kaheim Dixon coming on for Scott and Bajrami. There’s an early chance for Boreham Wood, but the shot goes over the bar, and there’s a booking for a Boreham Wood player for pulling Watson back as he tries to break.

Boreham Wood are using their man advantage well and are keeping possession and look dangerous every time they attack. A chance to break and there’s a coming together on the right wing, when both players get up the ref gives Boreham Wood the free kick and books Flower, both decisions are taking the piss and the ref must have an over/under bet on how many yellow cards Crawley get this afternoon.

Another Boreham Wood attack sees another shot, just wide. We play it down the right and Watson back heels it through to Holohan who gets a cross in which is headed up and caught by the keeper, who then runs deliberately into Malone and goes down “injured”. Fortunately, the ref doesn’t buy the blatant attempt to get Malone sent off but does buy the “injury”.

Holohan is subbed off with Harry Forster coming on in his place. His first involvement is down the right, and his cross is scrambled away. He combines with Dixon down the right and on to Anderson whose cross is put out for a corner which goes out before getting to the middle.

There’s a booking for a Boreham Wood player for squaring up to Malone after winning a throw. When it’s taken it is worked over to the left to a Boreham Wood player twenty yards clear of any marking and he curls a shot round Wollacott and it’s now 0-3.

Which prompts a couple of Crawley fans to confront and abuse the bench as a female steward struggles to drag them away.

From the restart Boreham Wood are nearly in again but the shot is wide. There are more subs, Dion Pereira and Reece Brown come on to replace Malone and Watson. There’s a free kick to Boreham Wood, no one apart from the ref has any idea what for. Forster picks up a booking in midfield which must have been for the intent in the sliding challenge as there was no contact.

There are five added minutes to get through. This includes a couple of Boreham Wood corners and a crossed ball which looked as if Flint got the touch to it which saw it hit the post. It’s all Boreham Wood and the final whistle is a godsend. (If there was such a thing as god that was.)

We have lost 0-3, and on the whole that flattered us. And the players make a quick escape back to the changing rooms. As far as I’m concerned Boreham Wood then rubbed the salt in by playing “Hey Jude”, I hate that fucking song.

We are out of the FA Cup at the first hurdle, but at least the score doesn’t affect our goal difference in the league. The crowd was announced as being 1,536 with 501 of those being away supporters being thoroughly miserable.

I stopped for a curry on the way back to the station meant there was something good from the day, as it has been so many times this season, a decent day out is ruined by two hours of agony shoehorned into the middle of it. In fact the mood of the day was directly in line with the weather, it being nice and bright pretty much all the way up to kick off and then the fucking rain started.

I hadn’t realised until I was adding the photos to this that I’d caught the ref bending down to pick up the coin after the coin toss, as some might say he was down there looking for his contact lenses.

Quiz time, as it’s an FA Cup game and it was against non-league opposition, then the question is, since the Football League was founded in 1888, which club is the only one to have won the FA Cup whilst being at non-league level?

It’s back to league action next weekend with the visit of Fleetwood Town to the Broadfield, and a desperate need to play better than today, to be more disciplined than today, and for crying out loud to take a fucking shot on instead of trying to pass the opposition to sleep, and for a novelty, how about some solid defending.

Come on you reds.

Acid Man

On Monday night I had a brainwave of a great idea for an appropriate title for playing Bristol Rovers. Of course it was as I was going to sleep, and I’ve been racking my brain ever since to remember what the brainwave was (it will come back to me about five minutes after I click publish on this piece obviously). So instead I’ve gone with this. A number twenty-three hit in the late summer of 1988 when there was lots of one hit wonders having chart success with early House music tracks. The band was called Jolly Roger, which is appropriate as we are playing the pirates.

Quiz Time Answer, the question was – Shrewsbury Town are one of three English sides in League Two this season who have won the Welsh Cup, name the other two. Tranmere Rovers and Crewe Alexandra.

It was another tough defeat last weekend away at Shrewsbury, once again there were mumblings coming out from PGMOL about decisions made against us in the game shouldn’t have been made but saying it after the game does us no good whatsoever. Some of the officiating stinks more than methane does. The journey back was hellish, and it was Sunday before I got home. I’m too old for this shit and felt wiped out most of the week. Again, I’ve nothing but admiration for anyone who does the travel for every game.

In the football league paper on Sunday there was (to me anyway) an interesting article from Chris Dunleavy on the use of data by teams in the EFL.

This one paragraph particularly caught my eye.

During the week there was a Teams call which pretty much confirmed the Devil’s Advocates are no more. The FSA was involved and the outcome is that Crawley are going to have a Fan Advisory Board (FAB – so expect the appearance of Thunderbird 2 at the Broadfield in the near future) set up, made of eleven seats, five will be pre-filled (CTSA get a seat, the Community Foundation, and three others – my earwigging skills weren’t in full effect), and then six voted for places. It’ll be like a political election, people have to apply, get through an interview, and then campaign for votes from fans. There is also no guarantee of any diversity on it either, it’s whoever applies and gets voted on, so back to pale, male, and stale it will be then.

I was in the County Mall on Friday and there is a pop-up stand in the middle of the main aisle there which is selling frame prints of football grounds, and the history of football team’s kits over the years. Of course, despite them being in Crawley they had nothing for Crawley Town in the seventy odd teams they were selling (including some in non-league). The bloke on the stall said they didn’t know they were coming to Crawley until the Thursday night, so didn’t have time to get something sorted for Crawley Town, but I got the impression that even if they’d had a couple of months’ notice they still wouldn’t have had anything.

We have played Bristol Rovers fifteen times previously, eight in the league, four in the FA Cup (losing replays to them twice), twice in the league cup, a win at home and a loss away, including the first win for the club under Kevin Betsy two seasons ago, and we beat them in the first of the knockout stages in the Bristol Streets Motors Trophy, with to me what should have been our goal of the season that season from Harry Forster. In the league we have three wins against them, along with two draws, and three losses. At home in the league that record is three wins and a loss, in all games at home it is five wins, a draw, and two losses. The last game against them saw the return of Scott Lindsey as manager last March, a game we won 1-0.

We have Ryan Loft in our squad as someone who is a former Bristol Rovers player, whereas Bristol Rovers have no former Crawley players in their squad, having loaned out Isaac Hutchinson to Cheltenham Town for this season.

There are a few examples of old programmes from games against them, again including one from our first season in the EFL.

They are another of those club which have moved away from a matchday programme, they have gone to the monthly magazine instead.

For cards, I’ve gone to the seemingly standard set for this league this year and picking out ones from the Proset 1991-92 season, with these three players – Ian Hazel, Carl Saunders, and Tony Pounder.

We go into the game in the relegation places, and a win wouldn’t guarantee us getting out. Our opponents are seven places and eight points ahead of us going into the game, and have lost their last three games, so where better to come to try and stop that poor run?

It was bright sunshine in the morning when I left the house to go to writing group, which I ended up sitting out because there is a lack of oxygen to the brain where anything is concerned at the moment. I’m only doing things out of memory muscle and habit as there is a mix between no inspiration and can’t be arsed syndrome.

By the time I left the library it was raining, so instead of wandering down to the ground I got on a hydrogen powered bus to the Broadfield.

I had a look in the shop, and there was new merch in there, so as we all know that new merch is my kryptonite there was a purchase of the new red devils t-shirt.

The subs bench sees the now standard six subs only, and we’ve taken the usual no keeper on the bench, and raised it, as there are no defenders on it either.

Crawley are in their usual home kit of all red with white trim, and Bristol Rovers are in their traditional blue and white quartered shirt with blue shorts and socks. Knowing how teams usually roll over us like Jason and his Argonauts if they enforce the change of ends at the kick off, Bristol Rovers have done just that. Twats.

It also means that the photographers have to change ends as well, and as they can’t take the shortcut across the pitch, or in front of the benches, have to traipse round the outside of the pitch. Grant didn’t look impressed as he carted all his equipment with him.

It is a slow start to the game, the first action of any note is Geraldo Bajrami down getting treatment after a clash of heads in midfield. Both teams are taking a while to get going. Usually it is like there is a big neon sign flashing which says have a quick break down the wing, but you can tell Bristol Rovers are another team who are struggling as they weren’t seeing the signs. There are misplaced passes all over the place, needless throws given away and a general lackadaisical feel to things.

Which extends to the officials. There is a challenge in midfield and the ball spins out for a throw. The ref looks to the linesman on our side for some guidance on who to give the throw to, and the lino just comically shrugs, and the ref guesses and gives it to Bristol Rovers. There is no TAKFAL to shout out the standard phrase of ‘make a decision lino,’ although you could probably threaten to take an acetylene torch to the lino and he wouldn’t be prepared to make on.

We get a free kick in the Bristol Rovers half and it’s a weird routine. Scott Malone has the ball held up in one hand above his head like he is auditioning for a remake of the Statue of Liberty, when the whistle goes, he quickly places it on the ground and Kyle Scott whips it into the box and out for a goal kick.

The first shot of the match (well kind of) as Gavan Holohan has a pop from distance which takes a ricochet and loops into the keeper’s hands. At the other end a Dion Conroy attempted clearance hits Josh Flint and plays Bristol Rovers in, Flint gets back to deflect the cross and we manage to clear.

The weather can’t seem to make its mind up, there is the need for a woolly hat one moment and a cap the next, and then ideally to have both at the same time as the sun is in my eyes and it’s fucking freezing.

More than half the half has gone, and Bristol Rovers win a corner. It is a bit of a struggle for both sides. After a break for a Bristol Rovers injury we win a corner from a Malone cross. Scott takes it deep and there are appeals for handball. The ref gives the penalty, and sends the Bristol Rovers player off, which seems excessively harsh, but the way things are going this season we’ll take all the freebies we can get thank you very much. Ryan Loft steps up to take and smashes it off the left-hand post and it gets cleared. Apparently, the west stand were barracking Scott Lindsey about why Loft had taken it.

Meanwhile the cheating twat in the Bristol Rovers goal has gone down with an obvious fake injury as they whole of the rest of the team sprint to the dug out to get the instructions on how to reorganise now that they are down to ten men. Whilst they do the sprinkler in the far corner near the terrace comes to life, adding to poor old Grant’s woes as a pitch side photographer.

Bajrami gets a booking for wrestling in midfield. We get a free kick a couple of minutes later in the Bristol Rovers half, it goes into the box, and someone gets a head on the end of it, but it goes straight to the keeper. We play a long ball down the left wing to Malone, and he sends a deep cross over which Louie Watson picks up and plays back to Scott on the edge of the area, and he puts his shot just over.

Unsurprisingly there are ten added minutes at the end of the half. All through which the Bristol Rovers number seven has had the tactic of grappling with his marker but paying absolutely no attention to the ball at all, he’s not even looking the right way, and it’s all fine apparently. When he’s grappled back, they get a free kick. It goes into the box, and we concede a corner. It’s cleared, played back in and there is another corner. We struggle to get the ball out from the back and are tripping over our own feet, the Bristol Rovers’ striker gets the ball and a fierce drive sees JoJo Wollacott get fingertips to it, just enough so that when it smashes back down from the underside of the bar it can be cleared. (Somehow, the match stats say that Bristol Rovers didn’t hit the woodwork.)

The Bristol Rovers goalkeeper manages to get a yellow card for timewasting. Well justified.

A long ball down the left sees Malone and Scott link up and play the ball into the box, a Holohan shot is blocked, Max Anderson has a shot blocked and the ball comes back to Malone and his cross takes a deflection and loops into the top corner and we lead 1-0. It’s given as an own goal, but who cares, it’s a fucking goal.

The half time whistle goes and we lead 1-0. We come out for the second half a long time before Bristol Rovers show their faces, and we make a substitution with Harry Forster coming on for Bajrami, a sensible game management move there seeing as Bajrami was on a yellow.

Watson is down injured near halfway and a Bristol Rovers player picks up a yellow card. Even with, or perhaps especially because we have a man advantage, there are far too many times where we need a bit of a nitro generated boost in the speed of our attacks.

Back on his feet Watson does some great work down the left wing, beating a couple of men and then laying the ball back to Malone who puts a cross into the box, Forster nips in just in front of the defender in the middle of the six yad box and slots the ball home and we lead 2-0.

Another ball into the box and Watson gets to the ball but can’t (or possibly won’t) get a shot off, he plays it back to Forster, but he is barged off the ball. A ball from Flint finds Watson beating the offside trap to be through on the keeper, but he is being caught all the time by two chasing defenders and his shot from the edge of the box goes just right and over.

Holohan goes over from a shoulder barge in the box, and the Bristol Rovers fans are barracking him for doing so, so he signs to them 2-0. There is a lot going down the right and Forster keeps getting in behind his man and crossing the ball. This time Holohan’s shot gets deflected behind for a corner. He gets his head on the corner at the near post, but it’s caught by the keeper.

Who not long after goes down “injured” again, and again all the Bristol Rovers rush over to the dugout for fresh instructions. They probably didn’t include give a corner away, as another Forster cross is put behind. It is taken deep and there is a lot of head tennis going on in the box, Conroy, Barker, Flint, Bristol Rovers defenders all having a go, and then it drop to Malone six yards out and he rifles it in to make it 3-0, and this one will be credited to him.

And again, down the right to Forster, and another cross in, and another corner won. We make a substitution with Malone making way for Louis Flower. Again we attack down the right with Holohan and Forster linking up and the latter puts a cross in which comes to Holohan, but his shot is blocked, and Bristol Rovers break and a midfield lunge from Scott ends the break and wins himself a yellow card. At this stage it would surprise no one that the ball is fed to Forster and he crosses it, it gets to Watson, but he can’t find the space to get a shot off.

We make our final set of subs, with Watson, Loft, and Holohan coming off to be replaced by Kaheim Dixon, Kabby Tshimanga, and Reece Brown. A Barker clearance makes its way over the east marquee for the only ball loss of the game.

Flower breaks down the left and gets a cross into the box which is cleared, Bristol Rovers break and get into the box and have a shot which forces a decent save out of Wollacott.

Then there is a spell of good possession and build up, I think pretty much the whole team were involved in a move which sees the ball eventually worked to Flower near the left side just outside the penalty area, he cuts infield and curls a beauty of a shot into the top corner and we now lead 4-0.

There are seven added minutes. Bristol Rovers have a break, but it ends with a free kick to us, we work it back out to Forster, and he plays it into Brown in the box, and his shot is saved before the final whistle goes and we have won 4-0.

It’s one of the few times this season where I haven’t needed a blast of laughing gas to leave a game with a smile on my face. The crowd was announced as being 3,465 with 714 of them being fans making their way from Bristol. Scott Malone was named as the sponsor’s man of the match.

There wasn’t much fan acknowledgment from the players, with only really Forster getting near to the marquee, Scott Lindsay came out to midfield, but it was also hard to see a bloody thing by then with the low sun just over the west stand.

Even with the win we stay in the relegation places. Cheltenham Town won again, beating top of the table Walsall, and Shrewsbury Town drew, we are now level on points with Accrington and have made a decent dent in our goal difference. But Newport County also won, and so now only three points cover the bottom six (it’s as tight at the top as well, only three points cover the top seven).

Quiz Time – Bristol Rovers are one of six sides to have lost multiple EFL Trophy finals but have never won it. One of those other five is in League Two this season, name them.

Bonus quiz time, seeing as we were playing the gas, having many gases have I managed to sledgehammer into this piece (may be as the whole word, part of a word, or split across two)?

Next up is a week away from the woes of the league as we have FA Cup first round action to worry about instead, as we travel to Hertfordshire to play against a Boreham Wood side flying high in the National League (or in the theme of today’s piece – Boron Wood).

Come on you reds.

The Less I Know The Better

It’s getting to feel more and more like this every week. So the title this week is from the 2015 Tame Impala album “Currents”. Well, we are playing Shrewsbury, so it’s the closest I’m going to get to the Taming of the Shrew.

First up, quiz time answer – Walsall were one of the founder members of Division Two back in 1892, which other two sides in League Two this season were also founder members? And I gave a hint of we’ve played both of them already. The other two teams were Crewe Alexandra and Grimsby Town.

A week on from the impressive performance but ultimately disappointing draw at home against league leaders Walsall, we are in away action at Shrewsbury Town, the second away game on the trot against a team relegated with us from League One last season (third away game on the trot against teams we played in League One last season if you include the Vertu Trophy game at Leyton Orient). Someone was having fun with the scheduling as we play the other relegated side next week at home.

We have played Shrewsbury eight times in the league, winning two, drawing three, and losing three, of which the four away games have seen two losses, a draw, and a single win, in the final game of last season’s campaign. This is our first League Two encounter with them since our first season in the league. That game last season was one involving two teams for who relegation had already been confirmed. This game is one where both teams are desperately clambering to try and stay out of the relegation zone again.

We go into the game on the same point, and with the same goal difference, and we are only above them based on the fact we have scored one more goal than them so far. We are both one point above the bottom two, who in another quirk of the fixture list are also playing each other, so at least one of them are guaranteed points, a loss today will see us slip into the relegation places. It is a game both teams desperately need to win.

There is no current overlap with players on either side having played for both clubs, but in a link back to last week, Mat Sadler is one player who has played for both sides. Others to have played for both include Scott Shearer, Danny Hall, David Hunt, James Collins, Sullay Kaikai, Tyrone Barnett, Leon Clarke, and Junior Brown.

I had to dig quite deep to find a programme. And the only one I could find is the one from our first game against Shrewsbury back in this week in 2011 (which featured the aforementioned Tyrone Barnett, Scott Shearer, and David Hunt in the squad for us and James Collins in the squad for Shrewsbury).

Back then it wasn’t a case of two teams struggling in the bottom four; instead it was a top four battle.

How many people can find themselves on the page of squad sponsorship.

I’m still pissed off with Shrewsbury lying to me at the club shop on the final day last season when the queue was out the door and down the car park, and they told me programmes were available in the away end, only for there not to be, and I’ve still not been able to get a copy of one for that game.

But I did get a programme today, it’s not bad, more advert heavy than I’d like, but it has four pages on us, and two pages on players to play for both clubs including four of the ones I mentioned earlier.

And speaking of programmes, there was a meeting earlier in the week between a few fans with a view to getting a fan produced match programme up and running later in the season.

It’s back to the 1991-92 Proset for a Shrewsbury Town football card, their only player featured that season was Tom Lynch.

I am beginning to question my sanity in making these trips there and back in a day with over four hours each way, it was dark when I left home and got to Crawley station.

And of course it wouldn’t be a train journey in the UK without dodgy trains and connections. This is not what you want to see when at Euston, and then to get on a slightly later and slower train, it then has an announcement that lines are busy, extra stations are added, and it may run slower than advertised. Connection at the hell spot that is Birmingham New Street will be missed, so not sure what time anyone will be making it to Shrewsbury.

When I came to the game last year we stayed for the weekend and saw Goldie Lookin’ Chain on the Friday night. This time around it was decorating on Friday and train there and back in the same day. I know which one I preferred. It’s the fourth time in the last few years I’ve been to Shrewsbury, and we’ve stayed in the same place every time, and gone back and forth into the town centre, but despite passing it lots of times, I never stopped the car to get a picture of the column to General Rowland Hill, the second tallest Doric column in the world. And with the delays I thought it wasn’t going to happen this time either. But I scuttled there as quickly as my legs would carry me, only to find the bloody thing is under scaffolding. FFS.

But I was at the ground nice and early, I was pretty much the first person everywhere, in the club portacabin shop, no wooden magnets here, just left over stock from previous years at a bargain price of seventy-five pence.

And definitely first in the stands.

I hate that there is no paper ticket. I don’t like the depressing trend of having everything on your phone. You can lose your phone; it can run out of power or just stop working and then you are fucked. There was no choice with the Shrewsbury ticket, I had to download it onto my phone, only for the unmanned entrance gate to refuse to read the fucking QR code. Had to find a real-life person to let me in.

We are in out all white kit with the red trim, whilst Shrewsbury are in blue shirts with yellow sleeves, yellow shorts, and blue socks.

It is a slow start, lots of sideways passing, but Harry McKirdy loses the ball in midfield, and commits a foul, and moans about the decision and nudges the ball away and earns himself a talking to from the referee. The free kick comes to nothing.

A long ball sees the Shrewsbury number nine in behind Dion Conroy, he plays it back to the edge of the area and a shot is well saved by JoJo Wollacott. There is a lot of fannying about at the back as usual and we almost play ourselves into trouble a couple of times and then give a sloppy corner away. It is taken long, headed clear and there are two shots from Shrewsbury blocked on the edge of the area before we clear it.

Wollacott is down injured and needing treatment on the edge of the area, which is never a good sign as, per usual, we don’t have a keeper on the bench of only six substitutes.

Finally we have an attack with a shot at the end of it. Josh Flint gets the ball after a bit of head tennis on the edge of the Shrewsbury box, and his shot takes a deflection and goes out for a corner. That is taken short to the near side of the box and McKirdy has a shot blocked and then cleared. It’s put back in, but the whistle goes and McKirdy is getting another talking to from the ref for something.

At the back a clearance from Charlie Barker is closed down and Shrewsbury ger a cross in, Conroy gets a foot on it as it comes across and force Wollacott to make a decent save to prevent an own goal, it gets played back to the edge of the box and a shot goes well wide.

There are a couple of decent runs down the right from Dion Pereira, where he is beating men and then cutting inside to try and work room for a shot or a cross. I do wonder if it would be an idea for him to switch wings occasionally and beat people on the outside and get a cross in on his favoured left foot.

A nice ball over the top from Flint finds Harry Forster and he puts in a first time cross; it is flicked on by Kabby Tshimanga to McKirdy and his shot drifts wide. Just after McKirdy picks up a booking in midfield for (apparently) a dive. There looked to be contact, but the booking has been coming for him.

Again we have lots of possession, but a ball is cut out in the Shrewsbury half, and they break quickly, and a block tackle from Barker goes for a corner, it goes all the way across the box, with a slight touch on and runs out for a throw on the other side.

We have an attack through the middle, Tshimanga turns his man and lays it across to Ryan Loft, he puts it back over and McKirdy slots home. The celebrations start but the linesman has the flag up for offside. Conroy is down injured in the centre circle. From the restart we win a free kick and there is a yellow card for a Shrewsbury player, which again looked to be for something said rather than the challenge. We get the ball into the box and there are claims for a handball, Loft has a shot, but it is straight at the keeper.

A ball down the right to Pereira sees him cross the ball in, it comes out to Max Anderson, and his shot takes a deflection for a corner. The ref blows for a foul with the ball in the air before it even gets into the middle. (How many times is that so far this season?)

Flint picks up a booking for a challenge on the wing, which looks a bit harsh as he got his toe to the ball first. The free kick is deep; it’s cleared and then put back in and Wollacott collects. There are five added minutes, where not a lot happens, and the half time whistle goes with the score 0-0.

Into the second half and Shrewsbury fans are baying for a penalty almost straight from the kick off. At the other end we have a long throw, it is half cleared, and Pereira puts it back in, but it goes straight to the keeper. There is a lot of battling in midfield and a ball falls to Loft who has a crack but it is easily saved. A good turn from Anderson and his ball falls to Tshimanga in the box, he beats a man but goes wide and his cross / shot goes straight to the keeper.

We lose the ball in midfield and Shrewsbury break and have a shot which deflected just wide for a corner. It comes in and is flicked on, and the offside flag goes up. A long ball up the left see Loft fouled about thirty-five yards out. It comes to the back post and Flint puts it back across and Barker’s shot is blocked. We have a long throw, flicked on by Flint and punched clear back to Barker who heads it back in and Tshimanga has a shot which is blocked and then cleared. Another ball from Loft finds Tshimanga in the box and again he goes a bit wide before the shot, and it hits the side netting.

A couple of minutes before the usual scheduled time and we make a couple of subs with Pereira and Gavan Holohan coming off to be replaced by Louie Watson and Geraldo Bajrami. A ball is cleared down the right and there is a coming together after it and off the pitch involving McKirdy, he picks up a second yellow and the red. It was given by the lino on the other side of the pitch as the ref certainly didn’t see it. We sub Forster off and replace him with Danny Cashman who is returning from injury. There are twenty-five minutes to survive.

Anderson gets a booking for a coming together in midfield. The ball wasn’t even in play, and the Shrewsbury player has gone down like an extra from Platoon. There is a long stoppage for an injury to a Shrewsbury player, and they aren’t even on the pitch. We make another sub; this time Tshimanga goes off and is replaced by Jack Roles.

Shrewsbury are attacking, they have a long throw, it is headed back across the box and put behind for a corner. It’s taken long and half cleared, and the attempt to put it back in sails high into the stand behind the goal. A Shrewsbury player picks up a yellow card for going straight through Flint as he tries to play the ball out from the back.

The extra man is beginning to tell, we are struggling to keep hold of the ball and struggling to get out of our own half, and we concede a corner. I’d no sooner written that in my notebook, and the ball comes in and is headed in from the middle of the six-yard box, and we trail 0-1.

From the back we work the ball into midfield and then across to the left and manage to win a corner. It is half cleared, put back in and we win another. Again half cleared, it’s put back in and goes out for a throw, Flint hurls it in, and it is headed behind for a corner. That is flapped away for a throw on the other side, that is cleared and comes back on the left and Roles is tripped twenty-five yards out.

There are seven added minutes, the free kick was put out for a throw, it is taken long but there is a foul and Shrewsbury get a free kick, they play it long down the right and win a corner. On our next attack Shrewsbury clear and a player is down claiming a head injury. The ref stops play and the physio comes on and treats his leg. Conroy picks up a booking for something said to the ref.

At the other end there is a yellow for a Shrewsbury player for preventing a free kick being taken. It is taken deep, half cleared and put back in, Loft nods it down and Roles has a shot which is just tipped over the bar as it headed into the top corner. As it comes in the ref blows for a foul.

The final whistle goes and we have lost. 0-1. Again. The crowd was announced as being 4,763, with 166 Crawley fans, most of whom were in fine voice all afternoon.

The loss sees us slip into the relegation places. In the game between the bottom two, Cheltenham beat Newport to move above us, and to add salt to the wound, the two teams directly above us at start of play – Accrington and Tranmere, both won and scored four. It was a shit day.

I know a lot of his play can be a bit scrappy, but perhaps we should consider putting Jack Roles up front, he seems to be the only person not scared of taking a shot, and he does get more than his fair share on target, we won’t win by trying to walk the fucking ball in, and we couldn’t do any worse.

Post game it was a rush to get back in time for my booked train. Five added minutes in the first half and then playing ten added in the second meant we finished after five, my train was just before six, and Giggle maps said it was a fifty-two-minute walk. But gimpy-limpy Kev managed to make it in thirty-seven, even being able to stop and take a photo of the very nice Indian restaurant I wished I had time to stop and get some food at.

It’s dark before I’ve finished the first leg of the journey and finished typing this up. It’s a long day and it feels longer as the hope gets sapped more and more with each game. And the second leg of the journey sees the incompetent fucks at Avanti north west cancel the train to London, their second cancellation of the day, and it may well be tomorrow before I get home now.

Quiz Time – Shrewsbury Town are one of three English sides in League Two this season who have won the Welsh Cup, name the other two.

Next up it is the third and final of the other teams relegated with us from League One last season as we entertain Bristol Rovers at the Broadfield next Saturday. I’m tired of typing the next sentence, but it is a must win game.

Come on you reds.

Saddle Up

A number nine hit in 1982 from one hit wonder David Christie, or perhaps you might call him a one trick pony with a song title like this. There is no mention if he was ever involved in the West Midlands saddle manufacturing industry.

Quiz Time Answer – When Orient (as they were then) made it to the semi-final of the FA Cup in 1978 (their best performance in the competition) who beat them 3-0 at Stamford Bridge in that semi-final? I had mentioned them earlier in the piece having walked past their old and new grounds on the way to the match – Arsenal.

Whilst I was walking across London to the Orient game on Tuesday afternoon, I got a voicemail to say my shirt had had the name printing done and was ready for collection. So, with me being off all week I wandered over to the club the next day to collect it, only for me to realise when I got there it was Wednesday, and they don’t open on Wednesdays. If only I had a brain I would be dangerous to everyone, instead of just being a danger to myself. I did go back on Thursday and collect it, and if you are going to have the number one on a shirt, then it makes sense to have it done on the keeper’s one.

The more I think about the set up at that game on Tuesday, the more deliberate it seems from Orient. They put the Crawley fans at one end of the main stand, and then set the Crawley warm up area in the opposite corner of the ground (despite the fact we were directly opposite where the away fans usually are and therefore at the end of the pitch they usually have the away team warm up at). And at the end of the game the Orient players came to the corner the Crawley fans were in to do their clap the fans appreciation piece, meaning all the Crawley players could do was go straight off. It seems like petty shithousery from a ‘bigger’ club, and a deliberate ploy to keep separation between away players and away fans. I should stop thinking as after some more I began to wonder if it was at Crawley’s request following the shenanigans at Saturday’s game.

For some reason Facebook was playing silly buggers and hid my match report from the Supporter’s group page and admins for thirty-six hours, which with Orient accounts on X and Bluesky having shared it, I’ve had more read from Orient fans than Crawley ones.

What probably got missed on Saturday, as it was in the form of a team lineup and came out on the CTFC page very close to the actual team lineup was the below support XI. It’s a great idea and a good reminder that people are going through things that no one else knows about and may not know where to turn. They may look fine on the outside but that unkind, or abusive comment could be the one to send them over the edge. No matter what their profession is.

Player of the month voting went up on Tuesday morning for September, giving about thirty-six hours to vote, the choices were Harvey Davies, Geraldo Bajrami, Harry McKirdy, and Dion Pereira. I can see where the shortlist is coming from, but I’d have given my vote elsewhere. I’m assuming it’s not a completely open vote to prevent the winner being Reds McRedsface every month.

In County Mall, the usual seasonal Calendar Club stand is up and running, and once again it does feel like a missed opportunity as there is no CTFC branded merchandise on there at all, they have Manchester City, Manchester United, Liverpool, Everton, Newcastle United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, West Ham United, Crystal Palace, and Brighton & Hove Albion, but nothing for the club in the town they are selling them. How are we ever supposed to get youngsters interested when there is nothing in the town centre apart from Premier League guff.

Kaheim Dixon will be missing as he has been called up to play for Jamaica. Our opponents are Walsall, who currently sit top of League Two, and who, if opposing fan accounts are to be believed (yeah, I know, unlikely) they are a very physical unit, so the form and style of play doesn’t bode well really.

Old cards are few and far between, certainly none in the Topps era, but if I go back further they did have some in the early sixties in the A&BC sets, but this one from the 1961-62 set is the one I’ve chosen as it’s a nice appropriate local name for them.

It is the old programmes that are more interesting, I have three from games against Walsall, but they are all interesting in their own right. There is the one with the WAGMI cover from April 2022 with the Walsall game being the first one after their takeover of the club.

The one from the following April, has a celebrating Dom Telford (in a most unflattering shot) after he scored one of his goals away at Hartlepool the week before which had just about ensured our safety, the point at home against Walsall confirmed it.

The older one is from November 2012 in our first season in League One, it has Mat Sadler in the lineup and has an interview with him in the programme as he had come to us from Walsall. Also in the players on the rear of the programme for Crawley is Kyle McFadzean who we’ve played against already this season, in the same game against Chesterfield where Will Grigg, who is on the Walsall player list, also played. And our manager was Richie Barker, father of current player Charlie.

Inside there is a page update from the social media team, celebrating the fact that the club had just been blue ticked and verified for their Twitter account. In fact they has four Twitter accounts then, including one for the shop, and one for Reggie, although tweets from Reggie would have been “iugaaiubsgasiuuishvbsyudsngbfv” as he doesn’t exactly have the finger dexterity to be tapping away on a phone screen, probably for the best he wasn’t live tweeting, “It’s fucking hot in here”, “I wish all these kids wouldn’t keep punching me in the knackers”, “I’m dying for a ciggie”, and “Stop pulling my fucking tail”.

Anyway, the game was a 2-2 draw, and we finished that season on the same points as Walsall, just behind them on goal difference in tenth, our highest ever league finish.

Walsall are another of those sides to have played in both the old Division 3 North, and Division 3 South, the second of three who we play against this season. (We play the third of them next weekend). The injured Danny Cashman had used to play for Walsall, and whilst no Walsall players had used to play for us, their manager Mat Sadler (another appropriate name related to the team) did (in between spells of playing for Walsall himself), and assistant head coach Darren Byfield was our interim manager for two games, including the infamous away trip to Stevenage where Preston Johnson was on the bench as well.

We have played them sixteen times in the league, winning three, drawing eight, and losing five, the last three games against them have all been draws (as were our first three games against them). There is also one win against them in the League Cup. At home, the record is two wins, five draws, and a single loss. Our last win against them came in that game with the WAGMI programme cover, and apart from our last game against them in League One back in April 2015, there has only ever been one goal in it.

I’m there nice and early, and have a quick chat with Steve Leake, there’s a meeting Monday night about looking to get a fan produced programme out there later in the season.

We line up in our standard home kit of all red with white trim and visitors Walsall are in an all pale blue kit reminiscent of our away kit from four years ago.

Walsall kick off and we have an early surge down the left wing; Josh Flint looks to be tripped but a goal kick is given. It is taken long, flicked on and Walsall get a shot off which JoJo Wollacott saves at the expense of a corner, which curls in onto the roof of the net. We break down the left, Harry McKirdy beats a man and has a shot saved, Dion Pereira’s follow up is saved again and McKirdy retrieves going back out to the left wing. He is clipped and goes down, and the ref has a long think about it before pointing to the spot for what looks to be a soft penalty. Not quite as soft as McKirdy’s effort. I can see what he was trying to do having drilled his last two inside the left corner, but the goalie didn’t go for the mind games and saved it down to the right and it goes out for a corner. And as it comes in the ref blows for some kind of infringement in the goalmouth scrum. And the keeper goes down claiming injury.

Charlie Barker turns a man in defence and feeds the ball up to Ryan Loft, he turns the ball round the corner to Pereira down the wing, and he cuts into the box and lines up a shot which goes well wide. There is a lot of possession, and a lot of slow build up that would make HS2 look speedy, and once at the other end Walsall win the ball and break with speed and win a corner in what seemed like a couple of seconds. But we clear it.

A good ball out of defence through the middle of the park and Pereira feeds McKirdy, his shot is blocked and cleared. We go back down the left with McKirdy again, but he is tackled on the edge of the box. There’s a long ball into Kabby Tshimanga in the box, his shot is blocked and comes to Scott Malone, but the cross is hight and the keeper collects.

TAKFAL hasn’t said much and when he does it becomes an argument with another fan. But for most of the game there aren’t many throws down our side for him to get involved anyway.

There’s a bit of a lull in play, then a long ball forward sees Flint advanced down the pitch to flick it on, Malone crosses and it is cut out just before it gets to Tshimanga. Back in our own half Barker plays a ball out to McKirdy in the middle of the field he beats a couple of players and looks to play it out to the left wing only to switch and cross a ball into the box and Loft is at the back post to rise above the defender and head it into the right hand side of the goal and we lead 1-0. Get in there.

We win a quick free kick almost from the restart as McKirdy is blocked off, it’s taken quickly, and Barker gets a shot off which is saved by the keeper. Holohan is hauled down on the right near the penalty area and there is a yellow card for the Walsall wing back, more a case of persistent fouling than for that particular one. Pereira takes it and Barker’s header is over the bar. Walsall attack and have a shot from twenty-five yards which sails over the Eden Utilities Stand for ball loss number one.

We attack down the left, a ball into Tshimanga who lays it inside to Loft, and he plays it back to Max Anderson and his shot is just wide. And on the left again, Flint to Malone, long ball to Tshimanga in the box, he mis-controls and is tackled and it goes out for a corner. It’s taken deep and put back across, there’s a shot which is saved from close range, but the flag is up to say the ball is out of play.

A sweeping move out of defence sees Holohan beat a man and get the ball up to Pereira, he plays it into Loft, and he squares it to McKirdy, his shot takes a deflection and goes out for a corner. It comes in and is cleared, and the ref blows for a foul in the scrum anyway. A long throw into the box is half cleared, and Anderson gets a yellow card for preventing the Walsall break.

There are three added minutes, and it is the first bit of concerted pressure from Walsall for some time, if not the whole half, they force a save from Wollacott and the rebound is scrambled behind for a corner, half cleared, put back in and then fully cleared and the half time whistle goes with us leading 1-0.

Let’s hope it’s not one of the bromine in the tea half time team talks this week. At half time Harvey Davies was announced as the September player of the month. There were birthday announcements at half time, but there wasn’t one for Lyn, obviously knowing that she would be in the bar and miss it anyway, as Rick had done for his one earlier in the season.

Into the second half and we have an early break, we pressure the goalkeeper, and Malone wins the ball off the defender, Tshimanga has a shot blocked but the flag has gone up for offside.

Walsall have an attack and the ball comes out to their right back, who is allowed to cut infield and runs across the box twenty-five yards out until he is in the middle of the pitch and has a shot which curls past the despairing dive of Wollacott and nestles in the side of the net and it’s 1-1.

Back on the attack down the left, Flint to Malone, onto Tshimanga, and back to Malone and his curling shot from the edge of the box is just clawed away by the keeper and then cleared. We go back down the right, Pereira into the box and across to McKirdy, it’s slightly behind him but he gets a shot in saved by the feet of the keeper, it comes out to Loft, and his shot is saved/blocked and goes over the bar for a corner. Taken deep and Barker’s header is over the bar.

Walsall win a corner down the right, taken deep, headed back into the middle and we clear. There is more Walsall pressure now, various crosses into the box from both wings and a lot of headed clearances and penalty area head tennis going on. It’s a bit tense, before Barker skies a clearance out over the side of the KRL stand for ball loss two of the day. A long throw is allowed to bounce all the way across the box, and a shot is saved by Wollacott for a corner, and as it comes in, it’s our turn to win a free kick for some kind of infringement in the scrum.

In attack Tshimanga is penalised, and a free kick is taken long down the right wing, and a cross is turned behind for a corner to Walsall. It’s half cleared and turn back in, only for the offside flag to go up as the Walsall player slides in and catches Wollacott in the stomach. In fact Tshimanga is getting penalised for every coming together, unless he is bundled over, in which case they just let Walsall get on with it.

Walsall make some subs, I’m sure they announce three changes, which I’ll come back to. McKirdy has the ball in midfield he breaks into the box and is tackled, the ball breaks to Malone on the wing and his cross is cleared. We make a sub with Harry Forster coming on to replace Pereira. Much to the delight of birthday girl Lyn.

He’s involved quickly with a break down the right and a cross into the box is blocked and cleared. Walsall are much quicker getting forward when they get the ball, and break again, get a cross in, but the shot is wide. They make two more substitutions. One of their players get a yellow card for preventing a break, we make our second substitution with Tshimanga coming off to be replaced by Louis Watson.

We lose the ball in attack and a quick break down the right sees a two on one opportunity but there is a great sliding block from Barker to prevent the ball coming into the middle, at the expense of a corner. We break down the left and a ball over sees the two Harrys have attempts at shots, but the final one is over the bar.

And there are more subs, McKirdy is off to be replaced by Louis Flower, and Walsall make another sub. Surely that makes six. Although post-match looking at the match details, they apparently only made two at the first set. If they say so, but the stadium announcer definitely announced three changes.

We have a throw on the left, the ball is worked across and to Holohan who has a shot from outside the box which goes wide. The board is put up for five added minutes at the end of the half. Enough time for Malone to get a booking for dissent about a non-decision. A ball down the right sees Forster get a cross in and Loft gets his head on it, but it drifts wide, and the full-time whistle goes after the goal kick and the game ends 1-1.

A point against top of the table is a good point, but it feels slightly deflating, all the stats were massively in our favour except, as usual, the most important one. It was a much improved performance on the whole, but we need to be converting more chances, and stick with smacking the penalty as hard as possible into the side of the goal as per previous ones this season.

The crowd was announced as being 3,461 which included 505 away fans, and there was a sponsor’s man of the match award, which went to Charlie Barker.

The point keeps us in twenty-first in the table, but both Shrewsbury Town and Newport County below us won, and Cheltenham Town drew, which along with an Accrington lost means that the bottom five are covered by a single point. It’s much too tight for any kind of comfort.

Post match curry is later on this evening as there are birthdays to be celebrated, cancer free pronouncements to be celebrated, so it was strange walking past the Downsman post-game and not being drawn in there as usual.

Quiz Time – Walsall were one of the founder members of Division Two back in 1892, which other two sides in League Two this season were also founder members? (Hint, we’ve played both of them already.)

Next up is an away trip to fellow relegation sufferers from last season, Shrewsbury Town, who we played on the last day of the season, and who like us as struggling at the relegation end of the table again this season. It is a game we really have to win as all that separates us at the moment is goals scored. Come on you reds.

Hymn Of The Orient

Something a bit different, I’m using the title of the track from S Mos’s 2010 album Hip Hop & Jazz Mixed Up Volume 1. The French producer took classic thirties, forties, and fifties Jazz/swing tracks and overlaid hip hop lyrics into them as mashups, most of which worked surprisingly well. This one took Clifford Brown’s jazz standard ‘Hymn Of The Orient’ (probably better known by Stan Getz’s version) and overlaid it with lyrics from Blackalicious’ ‘Make You Feel That Way’.

Quiz time answer – Why did Osvaldo Ardiles have the squad number one in the Argentine 1978 world cup squad? Because they gave the squad numbers out alphabetically based on the players’ surnames.

Vertu Trophy action this evening, and there have been changes since Saturday’s disappointing and dispiriting loss away at Cambridge United, with the unnecessary scenes of fans arguing/fighting amongst themselves, abusing players, and louder calls than before for Scott Lindsey to go. He hasn’t, but hot on the heels of a video where he was praising sporting director, Tobias Phoenix, comes the announcement that the club has parted ways with Tobias Phoenix, and that they would be making no further comment on the matter. Cue a more celebratory tone on the forum and Facebook than straight after the game, as he is not someone who has made any effort to engage with the fans (apart from allegedly arranging to meet them in the car park after games), and no one really knows / knew what the hell he actually did. It will be interesting to see what, if any effect this has on the players, and the approach of Scott Lindsey.

As for the abusing of players, I really don’t get what the hell gives people the idea they have the right to abuse anyone. If some of the abuse thrown at players was done to random people in the street, they would be well within their rights to call the police and press charges. I understand the frustrations of being a fan and the team not doing well, and there being players who don’t appear to be pulling their weight, but nothing gives anyone the right to abuse them at their place of work, and especially when there are family members of those being abused in the crowd with you. Let off steam to your friends and family, or have an angry rant notebook to scribble it in, but stop abusing the players, it doesn’t help, and isn’t going to inspire them to want to try any more, is it?

We are visiting Brisbane Road to play Leyton Orient in an early 7pm kick off. This was a game I was going to swerve, especially once Alain announced they weren’t going to be running a fan coach, but I’ve got a few days off work to try and shove that shit show out of my mind, and so have decided to carry on with the other one I’ve been drawn to all season.

We have played Leyton Orient nineteen times in the league, winning ten, drawing one, and losing eight, with a record of four wins, and five losses at Brisbane Road. And there is one loss in the football league trophy four seasons ago. Our last visit here was that terrible away defeat back on Boxing Day, where we lost 3–0, and we were lucky to score nil, and even luckier that the goals against wasn’t in double figures. It was following that game that one of the regular away fans had a meltdown and was abusing a player in front of their family. He has held his hands up and said he was embarrassed by that, but that wasn’t a great moment either.

Antony Papadopoulos, whose career started at Leyton Orient, would be the only crossover between squads if this had been the first of the group games in this competition, but he’s now on loan.

I used up the only Topps card from the seventies and the Top Trump, for the games against Leyton Orient last season. But with the statue in the park opposite, and the blue plaque up on the stadium to Laurie Cunningham, I had a dig in the Topps collections for one of him and got the other two members of the ‘Three Degrees’ at West Brom with him, as named by Big racist Ron. Those other two being Cyrille Regis and Brendon Batson. I nearly went for a Three Degrees song title for this piece, not the obvious ‘When Will I See You Again’, but instead the more upbeat ‘Givin’ Up Givin’ In’ in the vibe of hoping that we are going to give up giving in to opposition.

Quite a few programmes, home and away in the archives, including a 1997 testimonial game against them for Tony Vessey.

I walked to Leyton from Finsbury Park, and I saw football old and new and in all its forms. I hadn’t been past the old Highbury since Arsenal used to play there. They’ve done a magnificent job of keeping the Art Deco splendour of the east stand.

Then there’s the Emirates. I hate Arsenal, but the stadium and surroundings are great.

A long trek followed but I did find this in a charity shop in Stoke Newington. To be honest there could be a raffle before kick off and the winner (or loser) be told “You are the ref” and still do a better job than the paid match officials.

Crossing the Lee River Navigation gives a zoom view of the roof of the London Stadium. Definitely not made for football though.

And then to my left were the famous Hackney Marshes, the other end of the spectrum from the huge Premier League monoliths, but where so many players have started their careers. There’s a good chance there are players on the pitch tonight who’ve played there, and no doubt more in the crowd who have done so.

Then I’m here, somewhere in between the two ends of the scale (but definitely closer to the top end).

Everyone is in the same stand this evening. Might have helped if I’d checked the ticket first before rocking up to the deserted Brisbane Road side where the away fans usually are. And it looks like the only segregation is a few pieces of string. No scrub that, there is only an imaginary line as the segregation.

Quite a few changes from the weekend, but Dion Conroy is still playing and captain. And we’ve named a keeper on the bench.

No programmes for this competition, but they have got fridge magnets this season, big wooden ones seem to be the go-to for EFL clubs this year.

Oh yes, I should really get into the main body of the reason I’m here and talk about some match action I suppose.

Leyton Orient are in all red and we are in our all black third kit. It’s a strange atmosphere. There’s no Scott Lindsey bellowing out instructions and obscenities from the dugout as he’s serving a match ban in the directors box.

Our first proper attack sees Max Anderson and Scott Malone exchange passes on the left, Anderson cuts inside and plays a ball into Fate Kotey in the box, his attempt to shoot is blocked, Kabby Tshimanga picks up the loose ball, plays it to Louis Flower and he rifles it in and we lead 1-0.

It isn’t what you might call action packed. We play ourselves into trouble and concede a corner, it’s flicked on at the near post and headed wide at the far one.

Orient are upping the pressure, there’s a blocked shot, a shot wide, a free kick from the right, played deep and a shot is well saved by JoJo Wollacott, the shot from the rebound goes wide. A corner to Orient is taken short, and a shot is well over. A break into the box sees a cross blocked by a Dion Conroy slide, the follow up is saved. Orient are claiming a penalty for handball on Conroy’s slide, I’ve seen them given. Orient win another corner, and we clear.

Kotey is getting his shirt taken off in midfield with nothing given, he grapples back and it’s an Orient free kick. The ref has a chat with Conroy, which looks like it’s a warning to tell Kyle Scott to shut the fuck up.

Scott wins the ball in midfield and feeds it through to Flower who is clear in on goal, but he delays, and the shot is blocked. Orient break, we block the shot and break ourselves, feeding it down the right to Ryan Loft, but his cross is too strong for Tshimanga to get on the end of, and it goes for a throw.

Orient win a corner; there is a lot of head tennis in the box before it comes out and Orient win a free kick on the left. They line up to cross but shoot but it is well wide. We lose the ball with Wollacott out of position, but he gets back to save.

A free kick is given against Anderson in midfield, and he clearly doesn’t agree and punches ball and picks up a booking. Orient break down the right and start shooting practice. We block the first three but can’t stop the fourth and it’s 1-1.

We have a couple of attacking long throws and it ends with a Reece Brown shot well wide. And Malone picks up a booking for holding a free kick up which shouldn’t have been a free kick in the first place. It comes into the box, and a free header goes just wide.

A long clearance is flicked on, and Scott is bundled over on the right wing in line with the six-yard box. The free kick comes in, and the ref blows for a foul by Ben Ratcliffe. There is one added minute, and we go into half time level 1-1.

We make two subs at half time with Malone and Conroy being replaced by Josh Flint and Charlie Barker.

We break down the left with Brown feeding Flower, he cuts inside and wins a free kick in a similar place to one Orient had in the first half. We try the same trick they did, lining up to cross but shooting. With the same result, Scott fires wide left.

Another sub, Loft is replaced by Tola Showumni.

There’s a lot of play back and forth in midfield without any penalty box action. But Orient work a ball from a throw to the edge of the area and the shot takes a slight deflection and goes just wide. Wollacott punches the corner away.

We are struggling a bit to get the ball out of our own half and Orient win a corner; we clear for a throw and Scott is down injured. Fast forward a few minutes and there’s an Orient shot just wide.

We make another sub, Tshimanga coming off to be replaced by Jude Robertson. Orient win another corner, it’s swung in, and the header loops up and onto the top of the net. A long ball forward sees indecision between Flint and Wollacott and the striker gets there first, his high looping shots deceives Wollacott, bounces about two yards out and creeps over the bar.

We win a corner pressuring a long ball forward, the keeper flaps at it and Robertson’s header is deflected wide for another corner. The keeper flaps at it again but it is cleared. A break down the right sees Showumni get a cross in, but it I’d deflected to the keeper.

A ball out from Wollacott is taken forward by a Barker surge, he passes to Flint, and he has his own surge and passes to Robertson, but his cross is too close to the keeper.

Orient attack down the right, the cross goes to the left and is worked back to the middle and a shot goes just wide.

We make our final substitution with Scott coming off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan.

Orient get another shot in which goes just over. The short goal routine is getting tired, inviting pressure, and pissing the ref off. Another Orient corner as six minutes of added time are announced. They get a free kick on the edge of the D, no idea what for, a question Barker is asking the ref as well. Robertson lies behind the wall, but to no avail. It is an excellent free kick lashed into the top left corner of the goal giving Wollacott no chance and we trail 1-2.

We get a late free kick on the right wing, it’s cleared, Kotey picks it up, beats a man, but the cross goes straight to the keeper.

And that’s it. Full time and we’ve lost 1-2.

Orient are through and we have a winner takes all game at home against double defending trophy holders Peterborough at the start of November.

The crowd is announced as 1,373 with 97 Crawley fans, a good effort for a trophy no one really cares about at a stupidly early kick off time on a Tuesday night.

Quiz Time – When Orient (as they were then) made it to the semi final of the FA Cup in 1978 (their best performance in the competition) who beat them 3-0 at Stamford Bridge in that semi-final?

Next up, it is back to league action on Saturday at home as we entertain table topping Walsall. So that’s something to look forward to then.

Come on you reds.

Cry Your Eyes Out

Seeing as who we are playing today, the title is this 1967 Dottie Cambridge Northern Soul single, which was 200 on the top 500 Northern Soul Songs (in the Kev Roberts book). She did have a much bigger hit with Misty Blue in the seventies under her real name of Dorothy Moore. Today may well be my fault as I picked this title even before watching the game.

Quiz answer time, which side replaced Barrow in the Football League when they failed to gain re-election in 1972? Hereford United. It was only two years after today’s opponents, Cambridge United, were elected to the league in the place of Bradford Park Avenue.

We are in away action a week after the disappointed defeat at home to Barrow. The venue is Cambridge where we started our away action in League One last season with a win in the sunshine with a late Ade Adeyemo goal. He won’t be playing today after getting injured last week. He wasn’t the only casualty from that game either, as Harvey Davies isn’t going to be playing after picking up a finger injury when conceding the first goal, so it will be a first league appearance of the season for JoJo Wollacott.

The evening after the Barrow game I thought to watch the 49ers only for them to have the kind of home display I’m used to elsewhere, fumbles, interceptions, shooting themselves in the foot, letting the other team run the length of the pitch unchallenged to score and losing to a team who couldn’t win a meat raffle if they were the only ones in the social club. But they did manage a win on Thursday night, so hopefully that’s a good omen for today.

We have had thirteen previous league games against Cambridge United, the majority of which were in League Two, with just the two last season in League One, where we won at their place in our first away game of the season, but we lost at home. In total we’ve won five and lost eight, at Cambridge we’ve won two and lost five. In addition we have played them once in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy winning that game. We also played them for six seasons in the Conference winning six, drawing four, and losing two, with two wins, two draws, and two losses at Cambridge. We also played them in the FA Trophy in 200-09 winning 5-0. We also played them in the single season spent in the Southern League Premier Division in 1969-70, the season which at the end of they were elected to the Football League. We lost both of those games that season, including an 8-0 drubbing away, which I though might be some kind of record, but a quick glance shows me it wasn’t even the worst result that season. The season before we started playing Cambridge United, we had also played Cambridge City in the FA Trophy, losing in a fourth-round replay.

There are a load of programmes from those games in the load I’ve acquired.

But the moody black and white one from last year is one of the better-looking programmes I’ve seen for a while.

Back in the early nineties Cambridge United were in Division Two and came close to getting promoted to the top flight, in their ranks was Dion Dublin, and he was in the Proset collections for both 1990-91 and 1991-92. Dion was born in Leicester and is only a year older than me, I knew and played against his cousin Eddie a couple of times. Eddie was a hell of a player, but Dion was more committed. And Dion is still linked with the club and appears in adverts in their current programme.

Jack Roles used to play for Cambridge, and Scott Malone rejoined us from them after playing for them last season, and Ryan Loft is on loan to us from them, and they have enforced him not being able to play against the parent club today. Meanwhile the Cambridge squad includes Sullay Kaikai who was on loan to us from Crystal Palace back in 2014.

We go into the game seven points and eleven places behind Cambridge, so hopefully we can repeat last year’s result and reduce both of those deficits. And hope their fans have lost their bloody clackers.

Usually there are direct trains from Three Bridges to Cambridge, yet for some reason, on a day when they would be well used, there are no direct trains, and all routes are involving a change, either at Finsbury Park or Stevenage, as why wouldn’t they choose today?

Pre match wandering around Cambridge, pass the Fitzwilliam Museum and I wonder why no one calls it bastard Billy’s.

With too much time in my head I also wonder if there was a fire at Corpus Christi, would it then be called Corpus Crispy? And if the ice cream is too hard would this place need to remove the r from its name?

I get the usual pen and fridge magnet from the club shop. The staff in there and around the ground are friendly too.

It’s not a bad programme, it has five pages of Crawley Town content, although two of the four players to watch are out injured. There is also a feature on our top ten post war defenders, that’s one to start on the forum for discussion. Perhaps playing all ten of them might help out currently.

There is a team sheet up on display, but it isn’t for today, it would appear we’re not the only club who are piss poor at keeping things up to date.

The Steve Claridge bar has given up, even before we get there (more Leicester connections there).

There is a sticker board up outside the stand in the vain hope it will get used instead of stickers getting placed on every other available surface in the stadium. (Facebook posts suggest it failed.)

And then it is kick off time, we are playing in all white with red trim, and Cambridge are in some kind of combination of yellow and black.

Not long has gone and Gavan Holohan picks up a booking. Harsh as he can’t disappear into thin air and the attacker runs straight into him.

A long ball down the left isn’t dealt with and Dion Conroy just about scrambles it behind for a corner. It’s taken long and goes for a throw. The wind is making the game a bit scrappy, even when the ball is played on the deck. The away fans are in good voice and making all the noise.

A long ball sees a Cambridge player offside, but the lino is three yards behind play and doesn’t give it. Cambridge win a corner. It comes in low, bounces, no one deals with it, and it’s prodded in, and we trail 0-1.

Decent play down the left Kaheim Dixon and Harry Forster combine well and win a corner. It hits the first man. A lot of slow possession eventually leads to a decent attack. Kyle Scott, Dixon, and Forster play it across and Dion Pereira has a shot just wide.

A Scott shot is blocked on the edge of the area and Cambridge break quickly, but the combined efforts of Conroy and Josh Flint break it up. Any attempt at a long ball forward are being taken by the wind and out for goal kicks. A ball into the box from Cambridge sees them get a shot in which JoJo Wollacott saves, the follow up cross goes out for a throw.

Some reasonable spell of possession without ever really looking threatening, back, and forth, and then down the right to Pereira who crosses it, it comes to Gerardo Bajrami, but his shot is a bit tame and goes wide as well.

Forster is fouled about thirty yards out on the left. Scott floats it in, and it’s put out for a corner, it’s cleared, and Harry McKirdy gets a talking to from the ref for berating the lino over a non-decision.

Both Forster and Pereira put crosses in, but no one gets on the end of them. Cambridge break quickly down the left and have a shot straight at Wollacott. We have a quick break and McKirdy feeds Dixon, for a moment he looks through, but can’t quite outpace the defender, cuts inside but can’t feed it back to McKirdy and the chance has gone. Undeterred it comes to McKirdy on the next attack, he clips it over the defence to Holohan who’s shot is saved and he’s wiped out by the keeper as well.

The lino our side misses another blatant offside being behind play again and it’s results in a Cambridge free kick in a dangerous position, but it comes to nothing.

There are three added minutes at the end of the half, the Cambridge goalie is taking forever with every ball caught. The Crawley fans are counting out loud how long he’s holding it and getting well into double figures every time. Has any ref given against corner under these new rules in the league yet this season?

The half time whistle goes and we trail 0-1. At half time we make a substitution with Forster going off to be replaced by the returning Jack Roles.

As in the first half, there is an early booking, this time for Charlie Barker. The free kick on the left is about thirty yards out and is swung in deep, headed back to the edge of the six-yard box and prodded in to make it 0-2.

We get a ball out to Pereira on the right; he cuts into the box and unleashes a shot which is more danger to the corner flag than the goal. Dixon is next to be subbed, being replaced by Kabby Tshimanga.

Roles loses the ball in midfield and Cambridge break quickly down the right, get a cross in and that is tapped in to make it 0-3.

There is still plenty of noise from the Crawley fans, but it is all negative now. And some in there aren’t happy with the constant chants of ‘we’re fucking shit’, and groups of fans are arguing amongst themselves. I’m all for a bit of gallows humour but this was too much, too early in the season. And there was one ‘fan’ whose racist shout at Tshimanga should really see him getting a ban.

And Cambridge are nearly in again, Flint loses the ball, but the shot doesn’t trouble Wollacott. We break and Holohan plays a ball into the box, McKirdy gets a touch on it, but that takes it away from Tshimanga just behind him and it goes for a goal kick.

We win a corner; it goes straight to the keeper. A ball back down the right to Pereira is put in, McKirdy’s shot is parried, and Tshimanga finishes it off, we pull one back 1-3.

At least we’re still trying, but we lose the ball down the left and Cambridge break quickly, but the end shot goes over the bar. We win a free kick on the left and the Cambridge player kicks our player who’s down. Nothing. Conroy has a long discussion with the ref, and then before restarting the ref books Scott, presumably for something said, and Conroy is taking with the ref again.

The free kick is played long and McKirdy wins a corner but is claiming a penalty. It comes deep and Barker clips it back in and Flint’s header is just over. We make another sub, taking Scott off before he can say anything else and get sent off. He’s replaced by Reece Brown.

Another attack down the right and Barker crosses but it’s too deep. Scott Lindsey gets a booking for moaning (rightly) about the time wasting.

Pereira beats his man down the right and crosses; it’s put behind for a corner. The keeper punches and lays Roles out as well. We get another corner, Barker is rugby tackled to the ground, but Cambridge allowed to come out with ball and Brown gets a booking for stopping them.

Coming out from the back and Flint is scythed down late, not even the homer ref could avoid getting the yellow out for that one. And finally the piss taking keeper gets a booking for time wasting.

Roles wins a corner, it comes in, and Conroy is having his shirt taken off him as he’s dragged down. We get another corner from which it’s Flint’s turn to be pulled to the ground with nothing being given.

There are six added minutes. Enough time for Roles to get a booking and then a minute later get a stern talking to for an off the ball coming together where he might have been a bit lucky to stay on.

Flint wins another corner, which the keeper takes, and the final whistle goes for another loss 1-3.

More internal bickering in our fan base. Abuse hurled at our players, Lindsey turns and cuts short his clapping the fans and Tshimanga drags McKirdy away as he is fuming and looks like he’d quite happily get into it with the fans.

The crowd was announced as 6,607 with a decent contingent of 435 away fans, a figure likely to dwindle after the actions of some this afternoon.

There is no change to our position in the league, we stay twenty-first, but Cheltenham won, and Shrewsbury drew so there isn’t much of a gap now.

It was a frustrating game. I heard a comment about not wanting to spend the time and money to come to away games to feel like this. And “where was the fight of the last twenty minutes in the rest of the game.” Both are reasonable questions. It does seem like Deja-vu all over again, conceding silly goals, not being able to score at the other end. Someone needs the jump leads to shock the season back to life.

I do wonder whether the amount of horseshit on the path from the main road to the away end was prophetic.

Post match curry opposite the ground allows a bit of calm before the journey home. Although I did stitch myself up with train tickets. Could have sworn I’d ticked the box for returns and selected trains both ways, only to find I’d only got singles and so needed to get more for the trip home. Twat! On the way to the station we did see something you don’t expect to see just wandering around. After all it’s not every day you see a giraffe in a Cambridge United kit in someone’s front garden.

Quiz time – Why did Osvaldo Ardiles have the squad number one in the Argentine 1978 world cup squad?

Next up is an away game against Leyton Orient in the Vertu Trophy (always assuming they don’t change the name of the trophy in the meantime) before we are back at home next Saturday against table topping Walsall. What could possibly go round.

Come on you reds.

Goodbye Bluebird

Credited to just Wayne Fontana and not including The Mindbenders, this was just about a hit single for him, getting to number 49 for one week in 1966, back when there was only a top 50. A reference to today’s visitors’ nickname, though surely all birds are blue with the cold in their neck of the woods.

The answer to last time’s quiz time, who were supposedly the oldest league club whilst Notts County were out of the league between 2018–23? Stoke City (although there is much argument to say they weren’t founded in 1863).

Speaking of Notts County, erm, let’s not. It wasn’t great whilst we were in the stadium, the rest of the trip was, but it is the football we go for, so let’s hope that is better this week, and at least we aren’t away at Barrow, and it’s them having to travel the length of the country to come to us. The last time (and only time so far) I went to Barrow; it was the same score as against Notts County last weekend. So we don’t want any more of that. (It’s been a good week for Nottinghamshire all round, they’ve won the County Championship this week, bringing Surrey’s three-year winning streak to an end.)

There are no old football cards with Barrow players on, they were perennial lower league dwellers before their failure to be re-elected in 1972, and they came back too late for the nineties revival, however in a two year spell in the mid-eighties, three of their managers were former players who appeared in my favourite 1976-77 Topps set, with Vic Halom being their manager when they won the Northern League in 1984, and then they had Brian Kidd and David Johnson (amongst a host of others) over the next two seasons.

I have a few programmes from games against them, and it is strange what they throw up, the one from our home game against them in the last year we did programmes – and were nearly relegated – has none other than Dom Telford on the cover, whose next club was of course Barrow. There’s something for me to do when I’ve got nothing better to do with my time, go through all those programmes and see how many there are where a player is on a cover of a programme against a team they move on to later.

I know from when I was cataloguing there was an example as Anthony Grant was on the cover of a Southend programme from when we played there years ago. And he never made it onto the cover of one of our programmes, as despite playing for us for a dozen games in that relegation threatened season, his name never got added to the squad list on the back of the programme.

There is no player overlap in the squads today. Which isn’t too surprising considering the distance between the two clubs. Dom Telford going to them, and us signing Rory Feely from them last season are outliers.

We’ve had eight encounters against Barrow in the football league, all in League Two, winning four, drawing one, and losing three. At home we are unbeaten against them with three wins and a draw. We also played against them for three seasons in the Conference, winning two, drawing two, and losing two, with two wins and a loss at home.

Going into the game we are two places and a single point behind Barrow who sit in nineteenth on nine points. Barrow are one of only two sides in the division not to draw yet this season (Swindon Town being the other).

I had mentioned previously that there had been no communication from the new ownership team recently, and a couple of days after someone had posted about that on the forum there was the announcement that a virtual Q&A is going to be run.

And today will see the first appearance of the new Reggie, manned by the costume’s maker (as he has MOD clearance and the more permanent occupant is still awaiting DBS checks). Helen is chaperoning, as bizarrely she had her DBS checks done and returned within a week. Despite being associated with me.

I got to the ground early, straight from writing and saw the new Reggie nearly straight away, even without a costume I’m pretty much the same size, only with a slightly smaller head, and no tail to speak of.

It didn’t take long for some people to start moaning about the new Reggie outfit, slagging off the ten-year-old competition winner’s design as if they could do better and asking what was wrong with the old one. Well, apart from the missing ears, tatty tail and general disrepair, nothing.

There are three changes from the side that has started the last two league games, all of which are in the front four with only Harry McKirdy surviving, along with the back three, holding midfielder and two wingers (it would be a bit of a stretch to call them wingbacks).

We are in our standard home red kit with white trim, whereas Barrow are in an all-navy blue kit apart from the front of the shirt which looks like a graphic designer threw up on it.

Less than a minute in and we’ve managed to concede a corner. It’s swung in and there is an unchallenged header which is tipped over the bar by Harvey Davies for another corner, which is half cleared, and a cross comes back into the box and Davies claims.

Our first attack sees us get the ball into Harry McKirdy in the box, but a Barrow defender whips it off his toes and clears it out over the top of the KRL Logistics stand for a corner and ball loss number one of the day. Barrow break from that corner and win one of their own and from it a shot goes over the bar.

In midfield a Barrow player goes straight through the back of Ade Adeyemo, who goes down injured, but nothing is given, and he only gets treatment once the ball goes out of play. He has to be helped off (and is later using crutches) and we’re not fully ready to make the substitution as Harry Forster can be seen running off down the tunnel to get something before he comes on a couple of minutes later. A couple of minutes during which we spend the time fannying about at the back and trying to shoot ourselves in the foot (fortunately at this point we’re so bad at that we’re missing).

Barrow have a long throw, there is no urgency to do anything and there is a slow looping free header which everyone just watches as it floats towards the goal and hits the bar before anyone even thinks about trying to clear it. A venture into the Barrow half sees us work the ball in from the left to Gavan Holohan and he fires a shot in from twenty-five yards out which goes just over the bar.

But another Barrow attack sees another Davies save and another Barrow corner. We clear and there is some patient build up, it goes to Holohan and then to Ryan Loft and on to Dion Pereira on the right, he cuts inside and his shot appears to hit the inside of the far post and then spin back across the goal and out for a goal kick.

TAFKAL is warming the vocals cords up quite nicely, with shouts at the lino to get involved and for the full back to get on with it when taking a throw (strangely he didn’t do the same in the second half when the full back’s name went up one arm, across the back and down the other arm).

A blatant handball is ignored in midfield, Pereira plays musical statues with his arm up claiming an offside as he lets the winger run past him and get a cross in which Davies does well to clear with his outstretched leg. A right wing cross from Barrow is turned in from close range, but there’s a big sigh of relief as the lino on the other side has his flag up for offside. Apparently there has been a rule change which means Barrow are allowed to handle the ball anywhere on the pitch without any punishment. Half an hour in and there have been five blatant ones. Another Barrow clearance disappears out of the ground, an impressive hoof over the west stand for ball loss number two.

An absolute shambles at the back. I know, difficult to believe, but what are we doing, not even sure what was going on but Davies sort of goes to gather a ball, but in a quite lackadaisical manner, it is kicked away from him (and they obviously get his hand in the process as well), and they cross it and there isn’t much challenging going on in the middle of the six yard box as the Barrow striker bundles it into an empty net to make it 0-1.

Davies is over on the sideline getting what looks to be treatment for a couple of minutes after the goal. Which isn’t good as we have the standard zero number of goalkeepers on the bench. Apparently, it isn’t obvious which of the outfield players would replace Davies if he couldn’t carry on as Charlie Barker could be asked whether it would be him, Gav (an Holohan) or (Josh) Flinty going in net. But Davies does come back on to continue.

We wake up a little and keep the ball in the Barrow half for some time, and there is an end product as McKirdy gets a shot off, only for it to go straight at the keeper. But at the other end, another Barrow shot, another Davies save, and another Barrow corner.

There are six minutes added on at the end of the half, mainly for injuries to our own. Forster gets a cross in and Pereira heads it back across to the far corner where the Barrow keeper just about keeps it away from Loft’s head at the expense of a corner, which comes in and goes straight to the keeper.

An attempted back heel flick by Loft in midfield is intercepted and a long ball is played down the right wing, Flint fails to deal with it very well and the winger is round the back of him and into the box, he cuts it back to the edge of the box, and it is squared across and then slotted in and in the last minute of added time it is 0-2 and the half time whistle goes.

It has gotten well past the point of parody now. It would be an insult to call much of what has been seen schoolboy defending, as even when losing nine nil as a kid, the defending wasn’t this poor. The half time stats showed we had 292 successful passes, 100 forward, and 36 backwards, which shows how much sideways rubbish was going on.

The second half starts with another lost ball; Barrow hoof another ball over the west stand for ball loss number three. From the throw it gets to Pereira and his cross to the back post is met by Forster and his header is blocked near the line and there are muted appeals for a handball.

Flint brings a ball out and plays it down the left wing to Forster, his cross into the box is deflected for a corner. It’s taken deep and there is a header which goes just wide. A Barker throw gets cleared back to him and his deep cross is cleared for a corner which is punched clear and Barrow break. Pereira gets a booking for a pull back just outside the corner of the penalty area, and the free kick is fired just wide.

Our next attack is down the right, and the ball is played into Pereira in the box, and his shot is deflected for a corner. It comes out to Forster on the edge of the box, and his shot is wide. Loft gets a booking for a challenge in midfield. You can see why as it looked like he led with a forearm smash. The resulting free kick is taken long, and Barrow win a corner.

Which causes a bit of panic in the box, Davies has a couple of flaps at it before it is scrambled away off the line and when the ball comes back in the offside flag goes up to ease the pressure. Only to then concede another corner, but there is a foul on Davies, and protests from the Barrow bench which brings them a booking.

We keep playing down the left now, keep feeding Forster as anything good is coming from him. A couple of crosses are cleared and then another one comes to Holohan on the edge of the box, but his shot is well wide. A long ball out of defence from Dion Conroy is taken down well by Forster and his cross is blocked for another corner. It comes in, there is a shot, half cleared, blocked, and hacked out over the Eden Utilities stand for ball loss number four and another corner. It’s swung in by Pereira and met by a Geraldo Bajrami header, and it goes in off the underside of the bar for his first goal for the club and we are back to 1-2.

Flint throws an empty energy gel sachet towards the sideline, but it stops short and is retrieved by the lino, which prompts TAFKAL to shout ‘that’s all you’re good for lino’. There is a ball across midfield to Flint, he rushes forward and launches a thunderbolt of a shot from the edge of the area, it hits the keeper more than the keeper saving it and it goes for a corner, it goes to the edge of the box and Louis Watson has a shot wide.

A free kick in the middle of the Barrow half, it is flicked out for a throw, it comes in and is cleared for another throw, which goes to McKirdy, and he curls a shot from the edge of the area, but it goes wide. Scott Lindsey picks up a booking for something said on the sidelines. Barrow attack down the right, get into the box and shoot wide.

There is another left-wing attack, and Forster crosses and it gets cleared. Holohan gets fouled. We go down the right and Pereira gets into the box and clips a cross over to Forster and his shot is just wide. We’re attacking more now and go down the left, cross it to the right, and then back to the centre and Forster slices his shot and it is caught by the keeper.

Back down the right a cross in is half cleared, and Loft has a header straight at the keeper. Down the left, Flint finds Forster, and he cuts inside and crosses, and it is blocked for a corner, which is punched clear. Flint is tripped twenty-five yards out on the left of the area as board goes up for five added minutes. The free kick is clipped in by McKirdy, cleared and recycled back in and we get a corner, and it goes straight to the keeper.

All the play is at the Barrow end and there is a lot of head tennis with nothing to show at the end until a sliced clearance gives us a corner. There is a lot of pushing and shoving before it is taken and a Barrow player gets a booking. But we just can’t seem to get the final ball to stick.

Flint gets the ball just outside the box and his shot hits the inside of the post and goes to the right and Loft can’t seem to get on the ball and it goes wide, there is a scuffle behind the goal and there are yellow cards for the Barrow keeper and Holohan, and on the restart the ref blows the final whistle and we lose 1-2.

For the last couple of minutes of the match there was a medical issue in the terrace, which the medical services were slow getting to despite calls from the crowd, the Crawley bench was quicker there. It was still being dealt with after the final whistle and fans were being shepherded out via the east stand corner. Hopefully, they are OK.

The crowd is announced as 2,898 with 111 away fans having made the long trek, which they must be quite happy to have done with the result. It did look like there were more home fans than that though.

We stay in twenty-first, but more because the three teams beneath at the start of the day did even worse than we did, including Cheltenham Town who got a 7-1 drubbing at Grimsby, which makes our 3-0 loss there first day of the season seem a let off.

There was a half time swap of people in the Reggie outfit, and there is a lot of wandering around for Helen before, during and after the game as the chaperone.

Quiz time, which side replaced Barrow in the Football League when they failed to gain re-election in 1972?

Next up we are away against Cambridge United, where we managed to get a win early on last season, a result we desperately need to repeat. And where hopefully they have taken out away fans’ advice and actually stuck those clackers up their arses. Come on you reds.

Soporific September Scribblings

Besides the fact that nobody knows how to drive, the main thing I notice when tootling up and down the A23 between Crawley and Hove is just how many vans, trucks, and lorries there are with the high vis striping on the back of them, and the infamous words ‘Highway Maintenance’. They are everywhere, always moving, going somewhere. But the question is where? Whenever you pass large sections of roads on ‘major’ roadworks, they are never to be seen there doing something, all that can be seen are tons of cones. And every minor road you travel down, from windy country lanes to speed bump afflicted side streets are full of holes. So the next question is, just what the fuck are all these highway maintenance vehicles doing, and where ethe fuck are they all going to at all times of the day and night, because there is absolutely no evidence of them doing any maintaining of any highways, all they do is drive around badly, being fucking menaces on the highways.

When I do make it to work it seems we are plagued by fuckwits in their four rings of the apocalypse cars who think that no entry signs don’t apply to them, and one-way systems are only advisory.

Inside the building, which becomes a more soul sucking shithole every day I am there, it is just a case of being plagued by more morons. Those who think banana skins and wet paper towels are recyclable, but somehow cardboard boxes are general rubbish. And the ones who have spoilt little shit syndrome who just dump their mugs in the sink for someone else to deal with. This despite the fact there is a dishwasher available to load up, or if full that the thirty seconds it might take to clean up after themselves will cause them to have a fucking aneurism.

And every day I’m in the office I become more convinced that the much-heralded revamp of the office space was actually designed by a drunken toddler using a buggy version of AutoCAD 95. The obvious routes to well used places, such as the kitchen or toilets are blocked by randomly position pieces of office furniture laid out at jaunty angles in a desperate bid to seem cool. Only for there to be wide open spaces in areas where no one would ever walk through and are totally unused. They’ve tried to be trendy and ended up with the worst of all worlds, making it difficult for staff to get from a to b without having to invade others personal space to get past the miniscule gap between desks.

On Saturday morning when I opened the curtains it was bright sunshine, yet an hour later by the time I’m walking there it is throwing it down with rain. Which as I sat in my usual window seat in Maccy D’s watching the world go by having my breakfast there is very little world to watch going by. It would seem anyone with any sense is hiding from the rain, which judging by the soaked appearance of my rucksack would be the right thing to do. At least the new raincoat works well though.

It is mornings like this upon which I really miss Debenhams being open. Not because I’d want to buy anything (although a browse through the Mantaray stuff might happen), no but because it meant I could get most of the way from Maccy Ds to the library without getting soaked.

There are always a couple of old guys in the library early on a Saturday morning on the computes. I’ve never realised what rude cunts they were until this morning. Shouting at a librarian because the West Sussex Times wasn’t in its place on the papers’ carousel. When they did find a copy for the bloke it was the previous week’s copy. When it was found by the librarian the bloke snatched it off her without a word of thanks, had it for thirty seconds at the computer and then went back to the desk and threw it across at her.

I wonder as I write these notes how long it will be before I get around to typing up publishing this. I have a few pieces dating from July and August which may well have been typed up now, but still haven’t been published, and I’ve got pages of stuff which needs typing up.

That seems to be part of a much wider malaise. The only thing that gets done at the moment is anything to do with the football such as match reports, they are usually written, typed up and published within a couple of hours. The football appears to be my main current obsession at the moment. Enthusiasm for anything else in life is next to nothing. I’m not really writing anything else. I’m going through the motions where camera club is concerned. I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything and I’m forcing myself to do things just to stop me curling up into a ball and atrophying. I’m sure I’m probably driving Helen around the bend with the apathy.

I’ve got my next (and last scheduled) set of eye injections on Monday, but it seems as if I can’t help sabotaging myself. The absolute sugar free route has slipped, bread items are regular, and calorie control is a bit lacking. I know it’s not helping with anything, but it is like I can’t stop shooting myself in the feet. Just such a twat.

Random thoughts. I heard someone going on about being a ninja master. Not long ago that would have been a Japanese martial arts specialist, yet nowadays it’s more likely to be some muppet who thinks they’re a bit useful with a fucking air fryer.

On the train there is an announcement ‘if you have got bags on seats, please take them off,’ and I now have visions of some old Yorkshire bloke turning and saying to his missis, “you best get up then love.”

The train filled up massively at Kettering as if there was some mass migration going on. I never thought Kettering was that bad to be honest.

It always seems there is a large group of twenty-something blokes on any Friday train journey, off to get pissed somewhere and they’ve started on the cans already. They’ve always full of shite, talking bollocks, but why do they always all seem to have identikit black Helly Hansen duffel bags?

The woman making the announcements has the air of someone who’s never used a microphone before in their life, veering between ear splitting screeches and whispers, and speech more stilted than a Caribbean resort’s beach huts.

On the way back it shows how much I’m on the edge of losing it all the time, going ballistic at people getting onto the train before we’d had a chance to get off, shouting and screaming and swearing at them. It’s deeply ironic just how angrily impolite I get about moaning at others for being impolite.

It’s only taken just over a week since I started writing this before it goes to print. Best to do it before there is an all-day work team meeting.

I failed, and that was as horrific as expected, I don’t think I can deal with people anymore, it’s too overwhelming, and certainly in the morning session it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Lunch was mainly sandwiches, which in my current frame of mind wasn’t going to do me any favours, far too many of them eaten, but they made the afternoon more bearable, but that doesn’t stop me being a twat for eating so many.

Black And White Town

A number six hit for The Doves in 2005, as today’s opponents are famous for their black and white kit, even if they are a ‘county’ and they play in a ‘city’, but I suppose we make up the ‘town’ part of the title.

Quiz answer(s), besides Coventry City which are the only other five sides to have played seasons in both the old Division Three (North) and Division Three (South)? Grimsby Town, Mansfield Town, Port Vale, Shrewsbury Town, and Walsall. Yet teams further south than Grimsby, and further north than Coventry never changed despite many years in Division Three, such as Notts County, Lincoln City, Crewe Alexandra, Wrexham.

It’s now three wins on the spin, after a 2-0 win in the league against Cheltenham Town last weekend, and the 4-2 win in the Vertu Trophy against Aston Villa U21s on Tuesday night, and four unbeaten in total now, let’s keep that little run going and continue a climb up the table.

A game against Notts County was the first I attended and sat in the east marquee for. It was late April 2019, and they were desperately trying to win to stay in the league, they drew 1-1 and their relegation to the National League was confirmed the following week. Their manager was Harry Kewell, who had jumped ship to them from us as they were a bigger club, and the home crowd did a lot of barracking of Robert Milsom who had followed him there. It was also memorable with a County player picking up the dollop of foam sprayed by the ref to mark where a free kick should be taken from and then putting it back down ten yards up the pitch. The crowd were in fine voice letting the ref know what had happened, and that the position had moved into the other half was a bit of a giveaway.

And I remember them having Topps football cards in the seventies, they only had a couple of players – Steve Carter and Dave Needham, but the 1976-77 set was most vivid with the colours used for the team and player name.

It dawned on me that as they’d been in Division One then they would also appear in the massive tome of UK Panini Stickers 1986-93, and it’s the first time I’ve been able to use it in anger. They had some decent players playing for them that season.

Reece Brown played a handful of games for Notts County on loan back in 2014. When looking through the Notts County squad to see if there were any former Crawley players in it, I was interested to find that they have a Barry Cotter on loan, and he heralds from Ennis, in County Clare in Ireland, which is where my dad came from. Meanwhile they do have former Crawley connections in our long-time wing back Nick Tsaroulla on one side and Kellen Gordon on the other, let’s see if we can smuggle the pair of them back after the game.

We go into the game three points and six places behind Notts County. A win could see us overtake them, but it would need to be by four goals. However our record against them isn’t great, we’ve played them seventeen times in League One, League Two, and the FA Cup and have only won four, drawn three, and lost ten. At Meadow Lane it is worse, with a single win, a lone draw, and seven losses.

I have been to Meadow Lane before, but it was a long time ago, and at the time Notts County were in the topflight. I’d gone as a Spurs fan, again for an April game, Spurs won 2-0 and Notts County got relegated at the end of the season, and missed out on the Premier League which started the following season, it was also the summer before they rebuilt three of the stands, so it’s a little bit different from the last time I was here. The other two teams relegated that season have both made it to the Premier League, West Ham have spent a lot of time there, and Luton Town made it back for a single season, but Notts County just missed out on joining Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, and Everton as being founder members of both the Football League and the Premier League. As well as being founder members of the Football League they lay claim to being the world’s oldest professional league club – there is a plaque to this on the Mercure Hotel in the city centre.

And at the end of 1901, Juventus were seeking to replace the pink shirts they had worn since their formation. John Savage, an English member of the Juventus team, arranged for a Notts county supporting friend in England to send a new set of kits to Turin, and Juventus have played in black and white stripes ever since. Yet apart from the plaque on the hotel, the team are virtually ignored in the city centre. The Nottingham tourist info shop is three quarters full of Forest merch and nothing of County, and there is no statue to a former manager in the centre of the city either, unlike for the other lot.

I’ve been to more games on the other side of the river, both at the City Ground seeing Spurs failing to beat the other mob numerous times, and test matches at Trent Bridge. Speaking of cricket, after being promoted last week, Leicestershire have won the Championship second division, and in the NFL the 49ers struggled to a win against less fancied opposition (sound familiar?) so a good week so far.

A weekend in Nottingham means I can catch up with my brother, but I couldn’t persuade him to come to the game. He’s been to a Notts County game before and swears never again. But he did have me going to other ‘sport’ with a night at HOP wrestling in a church hall in Sherwood last night. Not something I was expecting to be doing by any means.

It’s raining when we get to the ground, so Helen persuades me to go into the pub to find other Crawley fans and be sociable. Well, I went in. And Helen did the socialising. Outside the pub they had a mural of the most famous County and Forest managers together, and then outside the ground there’s a statue to legends of the lane.

The club shop has lots of merch, including the pen and fridge magnets to add to the collection.

And there was also a little book on old Notts County cigarette cards, that was never going to stay in the shop, was it?

Notts County are another of the clubs who have stop doing programmes, which is a shame as I did like the funky square ones that Notts County used to do which I found in the batch Mick Fox gave me.

They did have team sheets though.

It is a decent stadium, and lots of choice for a seat, so got as close to the halfway line as possible. And there’s no issue with their sound system.

The teams come out, and we are in all red with white trim kit, whereas Notts County are in their traditional black and white striped shirts, black shorts, and socks.

It’s a slow start to the game, and the first proper attack sees us win the ball in midfield and Kabby Tshimanga goes forward with it and is fouled about twenty-five yards out just to the left of centre. Dion Conroy takes and puts it well over the bar. His first free kick this season was a decent attempt and forced a good save, but since then the efforts have been getting further away so perhaps it’s time for someone else to take over.

There is a whole lot of nothing going on for large periods. We are pressing really well and have a couple of attacks down the wings but the final ball in is getting cleared, or we are giving away a foul in the box. County break down the left and get a cross in deep the attempted shot loops up and into Harvey Davies’ arms.

A couple of off the ball blocks, other pull downs are happening and being ignored. Dion Pereira gets dragged back whilst going down the wing and nothing is given; County break down the left and fizz a dangerous low cross in and Davies just gets fingertips to it to divert it out of range of the onrushing striker. Pereira is down injured from before and gets treatment including the need to stem a flow of blood coming from his leg.

We put a nice move together out of defence, Geraldo Bajrami to Tshimanga, and lays it off to Harry McKirdy down the right, he drives into the box, and his low cross goes across the six-yard box, but no one can get a touch on it. At the other end County get a corner from a deflected shot after we’d played ourselves into trouble. And another County attack sees their striker just get beyond Conroy and into the box, they cut inside and shoot, and Davies saves well down low.

McKirdy is fouled in midfield and wins a free kick, and the ref is waving a yellow card, McKirdy is the closest person to him, and it looks like it is for him. Kyle Scott puts the ball into the box, but straight into the keeper’s arms. The County number 10 is causing a lot of problems down their left and looks dangerous every time he gets the ball and runs at us. County get a free kick midway inside out half on the left wing. It’s cleared and we give a free kick away in the same place on the right wing. That is cleared to the edge of the area and the shot back in is well saved at the expense of a corner, it is cleared, put back in and they win another corner.

There is a round of applause for a deceased County fan in the thirty-fifth minute which is well observed by all. McKirdy gets a booking for a foul on the left wing, which means the ref couldn’t have been waving the yellow card at him earlier. But checking the match stats, nobody else is showing as having a yellow card in the first half, so perhaps the ref was showing it to himself. About time some of the officials got bookings.

We start a move down the right and ping a number of passes together with Pereira putting it through to Tshimanga who moves it on to Reece Brown, and then onto Scott, then to McKirdy and his shot is saved.

A County attack sees a Davies save and turns it into an attack for us. We have a couple of minutes of decent possession which comes to an end with a Conroy clip into the box just running out of play for a goal kick. Ironic cheers from the away support when Tshimanga wins a free kick when pulled over. The free kick is played in by Scott and goes straight into the goalkeeper’s arms again.

Down the County right there is a tussle for the ball lots of attempted tackles by three of our players only for the ball to come across to the middle to a County player, he cuts across the field without being closed down and he curls in a shot from twenty five yards which eludes Davies and goes in the bottom corner and we trial 0-1.

There are three added minutes at the end of the half before the half time whistle goes, and we traipse in 0-1 down.

The first thing of note in the second half is a yellow card for Barker after a coming together as County tried to break out of the County half on the left wing.

We can’t seem to get the ball out of our own half and give the ball away on edge of the area only for them to drag their shot wide. Another corner for County, which goes across and out for a goal kick. The short, fanny about with it goal kick routine is wearing thin now and is only inviting pressure.

There is a break down the left and McKirdy twists and turns to get a cross in, it is headed back to the edge of the box, and Bajrami’s shot goes over the bar, only for a free kick to be given for a foul by Charlie Barker.

It’s a sign of just how badly the half time team talk must have gone that Scott Lindsey is busting the first lot of subs out eight minutes earlier than the standard sixty-minute mark. Brown, Pereira, and Tshimanga are replaced by Kaheim Dixon, Gavan Holohan, and Ryan Loft. A couple of Ade Adeyemo crosses don’t bring anything. There are signs of life now, most of it coming through Dixon. A Barker diagonal ball finds McKirdy on the edge of the box and his shot is blocked and goes for a corner. It is cleared, put back in, cleared again and Barker has a shot from thirty yards out which goes a couple of yards wide.

A long throw into the box from Josh Flint is headed clear and quickly passed forward and County have two on one on Dixon on halfway, and they leave him on his backside thirty yards out and it leaves them two on one with the keeper and slot it into the corner leaving Davies with no chance and we are down 0-2.

There is more playing ourselves into trouble at the back again. Conroy loses the ball, it did look like a foul on him, but it is played into the box, and the County player rifles it in from a tight angle, looking as if it went straight through Davies’ legs and it is 0-3 just like that.

Adeyemo is replaced by Harry Forster, and County are nearly through again, Conroy goes down clutching his face. I’m not convinced how much actual contact there was there, but it stops a one on one. We get a free kick, it’s taken short to Forster, and his cross is headed back by Loft and scraped clear on the goal line.

At our end we lose the ball whilst fucking around with it at the back and give a corner away. We then put our best move of the match together, Bajrami turns his man deftly in midfield and passes to Scott, and he plays it on to Forster on the left wing, his cross pings in about ten yards out and Loft is unmarked, but puts his shot over the bar.

There are four added minutes at the end of the half, which is enough time for County to add to their tally and satisfy their fans who have been chanting we want four. We lose the ball, Conroy is trying to keep it whilst being on the deck, but it squirms away from him, and they are in, and the ball is in the net. That very nearly wasn’t it, we give it away again on the left as Forster loses it on halfway and the ball through thankfully sees Davies get there just ahead of the attacker. The final whistle goes, and it is all over for a 0-4 loss.

The crowd was announced as 8,974 with 259 Crawley fans in attendance.

The loss sees us slip three places to twenty-first, and why is it when we do lose, we tend to ship a load of goals and get a fucked-up goal difference.

On the way back into the city centre we pass here.

And wonder if there is someone (who hasn’t been seen at the last few away games) in there ordering things on their joint account’s credit card.

We carry on past and head for a post-match curry, which was a damn sight better than the taste the match left in our mouths.

Plus it means I can wash my jeans. On the way to Harrogate I spilt coffee on my jeans about ten minutes into the journey, and we won, so I’ve been wearing the same jeans as it was a lucky Omen. This defeat ends that superstition so I can wear something else for games now.

And on to the next game, back at home next Saturday as we host Barrow, who have probably already set off for that one as it’s a bit of a trek.

Come on you reds.

We Close Our Eyes

Due to seating arrangements for tonight’s game I’ve picked something from the band Go West and have chosen their 1985 top five hit as there are plenty of times, we’d have been happy to close our eyes this season. Let’s hope tonight isn’t another of them.

Answer to quiz time from the last one of these, which is the only club to have played in the Premier League, Division One, Division Two, Division Three, Division Three (North), Division Three (South), Division Four, the Championship, League One, and League Two? Coventry City.

After a second win on the spin at the weekend, this time at home and against Cheltenham Town, it is the diversion of the Vertu Trophy this evening with the first of the group games in the competition, at home to Aston Villa U21s.

This is the third visit of Aston Villa’s under twenty-ones in the last four seasons, we had a year off for good behaviour last year, but they are back. Our two previous games against them were both wins, 5-2 in 2022 and 3-2 in 2023. (We’ve not played the senior side).

Villa did fob one of their under twenty-ones off on us for a season long lone in 2022-23 – Caleb Chukwuemeka. There were mentions of Nathan Ferguson and Lee Barnard as being the most bone idle and lazy players to ever stroll around the Broadfield pitch. Both of them were before my time, but CC would fit that description for me.

One of my friends from work is a Villa fan and is going to the game tonight, having lined it up as soon as the draw was done, and he’s stuck with it instead of going for the option of the senior side playing at Brentford in the Carabao Cup tonight as well. So, having driven him up from Hove after work, it was a case of pre-game curry at the Downsman for this one.

Due to the lack of general interest in the Vertu Trophy, the east marquee isn’t open, so I’m having to sit in the west stand instead. My knees will be fucked by half time as the leg room in there is shit.

Since the last game I’ve spent most of the weekend finalising all the cataloguing and sorting of programs after the masses that Mick Fox kindly gave me. The main quandary was how to store them. I did have them in the traditional date order, but I know that will give me issues going forward as I only have knowledge of who played when over the last five years, so I’ve mixed it up and gone for alphabetical order by team name instead. Such an exciting life I lead.

I was looking for Aston Villa football cards. There is not a shortage from the seventies and eighties but was looking for someone who would have been under twenty-one at the time and did find this one of Gary Shaw from 1981 when he was still twenty. Though it would have been unlikely for him to turn out in a fixture like this as by that time he was already a league winner and was gearing up for the season they won the European Cup. And as it turns out today marks the first anniversary of his death, so a mini tribute to him on a mini card.

I did moan about the legroom in the west stand, but it isn’t full so can stretch out sideways. It does have the bonus of being able to see all of the scoreboard and the clock at the top. And can see the front of the player line up for a change.

It is a much-changed side from the one which won on Saturday, and we actually have a goalkeeper on the bench, or as some wag behind said, he’s called Heater cos he keeps the bench warm. We are in our usual all red with white trim home kit, and the Villa U21s are in all black.

It’s a slow start to the game, there is a lot of passing the ball around, sideways, and backwards, but not a lot of cutting edge. Villa looks reasonable when on the ball. The first action of note is that Reece Brown, the only started from Saturday has had to go off injured. Never good. But it does mean a Crawley Town debut for Jude Robertson.

Fate Kotey wins a free kick on the far corner of the area; it is taken deep and then we end up playing it all the back to JoJo Wollacott in goal. A ball down the right gets to Louis Flower, he beats a man on the edge of the box and gets a shot off which is blocked and then cleared. Down the right again and Kotey crosses it in, and a Flower header just loops wide. And again, Kotey down the right and crosses and Robertson’s touch is a bit heavy and it just goes to the keeper. But his clearance is straight to Kaheim Dixon on the edge of the area, and his shot comes back in and finds the net for his first Crawley Town goal, and we lead 1-0.

Despite being close to the halfway line and in the same row back as I am in the east marquee, it does seem a strange viewpoint being sat on the other side. There are about half a dozen rebels who are sat pretty much in the area I normally sit in the marquee as well. I’m not in the slightest bit jealous.

A Wollacott clearance is flicked on by Flower on half way, and Dixon nods forward and is in one on one with the keeper, he shoots earlier than at Chesterfield, and the keeper makes a good save with an outstretched boot, it goes to the left and Dixon is first to the ball and his follow up shot is blocked behind for a corner. Harry Forster takes it deep, and Ben Ratcliffe is at the far post to nod it in, and we lead 2-0.

Scott Lindsey has been quite vocal, being sat in the west stand it is easier to hear, and after a barrage of questioning decisions the fourth official comes over to have a quiet word with him. A free kick is given away on the left near the area by Kotey and the shot forces a good save from Wollacott, and it is cleared for a corner.

Scott Malone picks up a booking in midfield, no contact made but intent, and the ref is pointing to various places round the pitch to suggest it is totting up, which is odd as Malone hasn’t fouled anyone so far. Scott Lindsey is less than impressed and asks the fourth official ‘are you taking the piss?’

There are three added minutes at the end of the half, and it is Villa doing the attacking. They force another save out of Wollacott and then attack again down the right and get a cross in, it goes all the way across the box, and the striker slides in on the far side and puts it back across Wollacott and into the corner and it is 2-1. With only enough time for the restart before the half time whistle goes.

The second half starts slowly, and again the first major action is an injury. Dixon is down screaming in pain and takes some time getting back up, it looks as if he landed awkwardly after a challenge and as if he may well have dislocated his thumb, but he gets his hand and wrist taped up and makes his way back on to continue.

There is the ever-present threat of us fannying about at the back. Joy Mukena makes a hash of a pass and plays a Villa player into the box; Max Anderson does a silly pull back and the ref points to the spot for a penalty. Which is taken sending Wollacott the wrong way and it back to all square at two apiece.

We bring a ball out from the back, Ratcliffe plays it to Kotey, who puts it down the line on the right for Dixon, he gets to the byline and puts in a nice deep cross and Ryan Loft heads it back the way it came and into the top corner for his first Crawley Town goal and to give us back the lead 3-2.

Dixon plays Flower into the box on the left, and Flower’s shot is tipped onto the side of the post, and it goes for a corner. Forster puts it into the mixer, and it is flicked behind on the other side for another. This one he takes deep, and Loft attempts an acrobatic effort which is blocked, and it falls to Ratcliffe, and his semi-acrobatic effort does find its way through all the bodies in the box and in the net and we lead 4-2.

Which is the sign to make some substitutions, with Loft and Malone coming off to be replaced by a test of my typing ability as Tola Showunmi and Antony Papadopoulos come on to replace them.

We nearly play ourselves into trouble at the back with a poor back pass not making it to Wollacott, but we manage to clear and survive. There is some good play to find Showunmi in the box, and he gets a good cross in which more hits Flower than Flower hitting it and it gets cleared. Again we attack, this time down the left and Forster plays it to Flower who slides it into Showunmi, and his shot is saved and then cleared for a throw.

Robertson gets a booking, just seconds after two players sandwich tackle Kotey near the edge of the box, an obvious double foul on him, but the ref gives a free kick to Villa for a non-existent handball. Lindsey is not impressed and is still ‘debating’ the lack of decision with the linesman minutes later.

A break from his own half sees Flower surge into the box, seemingly lose the ball, but then just get a toe in to take a shot which hits the side netting. He’s given himself cramp or something stretching, and shuffles back onto the field of play on his arse to carry on stretching.

Some of the urgency (and to be honest there hasn’t really been a lot all game) has gone out of the Crawley players, and Villa are attacking more, they break down the left, get a cross in and there is a great save from Wollacott. There are six added minutes, and Villa are through on goal again after a Mukena slip and it brings another good save from Wollacott, and Villa get a corner. It is all Villa in added time and Wollacott is called into action again to save before the ref blows the final whistle the game ends with us winning 4-2.

No announcement of the crowd numbers, but there weren’t a lot, not helped by Villa’s first team playing at Brentford, and the four hundred they brought two years ago was down to about forty.

It was a win, without most of the team who’d won the last two league games, and Kotey certainly looked a handful. Robertson showed his youth and inexperience at times, but didn’t do too badly, and it was good that Dixon’s injury didn’t affect him playing, if anything he got more involved after it. Albeit against an under 21s side where the lowest squad number on display all evening was 56, with five in the sixties, three in the seventies, two in the eighties and four in the nineties on display over the course of the evening, so nothing to get too excited about. But a win is a win and it’s good for squad morale.

Quiz time, following on from the last question, besides Coventry City which are the only other five sides to have played seasons in both the old Division Three (North) and Division Three (South)?

Next up, back to league action on Saturday with an away trip to Notts County (not one of the answers to the above).

Come on you reds.