Jumping Flash Harry Beats The Gas Gas Gas

Many apologies to the Rolling Stones for that headline.

We have a pair of Bristols tonight. A home match against Bristol Rovers in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy. Bristol Rovers are in League One having gotten promotion at the end of the 2021-22 season. We still played them last season beating them in the first round of the Carabao Cup in the first win of Kevin Betsy’s reign. I was speaking to Paul at the weekend after writing and he was regaling me of an FA Cup game before my CTFC supporting days, when a replay got called off in the second half due to the constant torrential downpour.

Not sure what kind of team Rovers are going to put out, as they have a new manger having parted ways with the previous cigar stabbing psychopath, and therefore may be putting a full team out to try out before they have a league game. Or be at the other end of the spectrum and just want out of it as soon as possible. I suppose we’ll know when the shirt numbers are seen, though I doubt they are going to be starting in the mid forties as they did against the Villa kids.

It surprises me that Bristol Street Motors are sponsoring the competition. I heard of them as a kid, but assumed it was a Midlands thing, as I never heard of them in twenty years after leaving Leicester, either up north in Manchester, or down here. But they are suddenly popping up all over the place. TV adverts, radio adverts, national sponsorship, in papers, everywhere, celebrating one hundred years of business, even if it seems the last twenty were spent in hibernation.

Since the last home game victory against Harrogate Town, there has been one away league game against Notts County. The highlight of which for some fans was the pre- and post-match visits to Hooters. It was a disappointing 3-1 defeat which had the latest instalment of comedy defending and goalkeeping, and most of the match stats were in out favour. It was a shame that Notts County saved up all their own comedy defending for their FA Cup second round game on Friday night, as we would have preferred to be the beneficiary of them thank you very much.

Away from keeping an eye on various football scores, I’ve finally gotten round to reading Steve Leake’s second book “Noli Semper Cedere,” which has spent a year sat hidden on a bookshelf under the stairs, and his third book “Tinpot And Proud,” which I’ve had most of the season. Well worth reading for Crawley fans, especially if, like me, you don’t have sixty years’ worth of supporting history.

I’ve also seen the last two thirds of series two of Welcome to Wrexham. As I’ve said before, I hadn’t been interested in watching up, but once on, it is fascinating viewing. I had a mindset of it’s all OTT Hollywood FC, and although there is some acting up to that, there is so much more with what is being done there. They are really in the middle of their community. Some of the numbers are mind boggling. To me one of the most is that they are pretty much at full capacity of nearly eleven thousand for all home matches, so about three times our average home gate. Which may not sound massive, but the town’s population is forty-four thousand, about forty percent of Crawley’s population. If we could get the same percentage, we’d need a twenty-eight thousand capacity ground.

Getting to the ground with a ticket for the north end of the west stand saves at least five minutes from the schlep around the ground to our usual east marquee seats. Al appears to be supervising the section of the ground where there are no fans, so it should be an easy night’s stewarding for him.

I’m not sure if Bristol Rovers’ shirts and socks are light grey or beige, but they are bland.

But bland or not, they start the better of the two teams and have the best of the early exchanges. Crawley are terribly slow playing out from the back and seem to be riding their luck a bit, there are a lot of sharp intakes of breath as we just about manage to get away with clearing the ball a few times.

I wonder if the bland shirts are what is causing a lot of Crawley passes to end up with a Rovers player, they just can’t see the dullness of them as they just blend into the background. But I’m not sure a stray pass to the ref falls into the same category. The officials are dressed as Stabilo Boss yellow highlighter pens and can be seen from space.

It takes Crawley twenty-three minutes to have their first shot. An effort just wide from Harry Forster, but it was good to see some forward motion for a change, instead of the glut of sideways and backwards passes. Ray Wilkins had nothing on this lot. There is another shot soon after, but then up the other end Rovers smash a wayward shot over the Eden Utilities Stand and ball one has gone.

Corey Addai is in good form tonight. He needs to be. He saves a one on one after a wasted free kick and more slow play gifts the ball to a Rovers striker.

The first Crawley corner comes after thirty-five minutes, but nothing comes of it. And just before the one minute of added time is shown, we finally manage to shoot ourselves in the foot. Aaron Henry falls over on the edge of the area and a Rovers striker is on one on one with Addai again, but this time finds the net and we are down 0-1 as we head into half time.

The second half is a different kettle of fish. We are on it. Jack Roles lets a shot fly from about thirty yards, and it is just tipped over for a corner. There is confusion from the corner and Rovers just about manage to hack the ball away. They break and the ball is luckily deflected over the bar for a corner.

After an injury delay following the corner, the gobby Rovers number 11 is subbed off and we head straight up the other end. There is excellent work down the left wing and a couple of decent passes sees the ball end up at Roles’ feet and he smashes the ball in to equalise and make it 1-1.

This properly energises the team. A half decent penalty shout for Rovers is waved away after Addai slides out to collect the ball in the area, but it goes under him, and he collides with a Rovers player. We break and the ball ends up with a chance for Ronan Darcy, but his shot is wide. And then we follow up with another thunderbolt, this time from Henry which goes just over the bar.

Can I believe what I have just seen. Harry Forster gets the ball on the left wing on the halfway line and takes off, he skips past three players as if he is jet boosted, gets to the edge of the penalty area and lets fly with a shot which makes the net bulge, and we lead 2-1. Wow. Just wow. I think that’s the best Crawley goal I’ve seen (but I’m only on my third season).

Our substitutions don’t take anything away from our play, in fact it makes us seem better. There is some really excellent play all over the pitch, and the team seem to be oozing with confidence.

There are seven minutes of added time to survive though. Three minutes in Will Wright hoofs one over our heads and over the west stand to lose ball two of the evening. And then Forster is away again down the left-wing racing towards goal only to be cynically hacked down by a Rovers defender who gets a straight red for his troubles. Only for Forster to get a yellow for diving in the box a minute later.

The full-time whistle goes in the ninth added minute and we have won and are through to the last sixteen of the trophy. The draw for the next round is on Friday evening at half six.

The crowd was announced as being 896, with there being 116 away fans huddled together in the seats in the corner of the east marquee. The sponsors man of the match was named as Jack Roles (so the title to this piece could have been Jumping Jack Flash after all), he had a decent enough performance, but I’d have given it to Harry Forster (as the title might suggest).

It is back to league action on Saturday with an away trip to Colchester United who are struggling just above the relegation places, eight places and seven points behind us.

Before that the Crawley Town FC exhibition starts at Crawley Museum on Thursday. The museum is always worth a visit but has even more reasons to go there for the next couple of months.

Come on you reds.

Jumping Jack Flash

We’re playing the gas, gas, gas. Well, that’s their nickname anyway. It’s a nice late summer’s evening and we are up to play in the Carabao Cup against Bristol Rovers. And after the way we’ve started the season so far, getting some dodgy far eastern energy drinks down us couldn’t possibly make things worse (perhaps they would give us some gas too).

This time last season, Bristol Rovers were in the same division as us, and they did the double over us, 1-0 at their place, and 2-1 against us at home in a rearranged fixture cancelled due to Covid over the Christmas holiday period. But on the plus side, no one got a cigar stubbed out in their eye. They secured their promotion very late on the last day of the season where a highly unlikely 7-0 win against already relegated Scunthorpe saw them sneak into the last of the automatic promotion slots on goal difference.

They lost their season opener against also promoted Forest Green Rovers but came back to win their last game 4-0. Away. So, after our two opening defeats with only a single shot on target in 180 minutes, things are looking promising for this cup tie. We go into the game as the strongest team in the Football League. As we are rock bottom of the table and holding all the others up.

We amble along to the ground passing kitted out fans outside the Downsman and joining a steady flow of fans heading to the ground. We’re there on time, and I get a programme, a little skinny effort, and no league table, so not appearing on the truncated table isn’t an issue. Al was walking around outside having missed the previous game, he was going to be ‘working’ on the Eden Utilities Stand.

Bristol Rovers were in a black kit with green trim, which meant they blended in perfectly against the west stand. At least the same can’t be said about the officials, who have come dressed by Boss. Just not Hugo, more Stabilo yellow highlighters. The sun is low and bright and there is a lot of squinting required before it disappears behind trees.

Crawley have some early pressure, winning a couple of early corners, and even get a shot away. The crowd, although obviously smaller than Saturday seems more up for it, and the drummer is getting involved early doors as well. There is a good flow to the game.

Twenty-one minutes in and the first ball of the season disappears out of the ground. A Bristol Rovers clearance goes out right alongside the west stand. The away team coach may well have a dent in it.

Just after that Bristol Rovers get a two on one breakaway but Francillette managed to get one of his great long Bambi-esque legs in to poke the ball out for a corner.

Then at the other end we put pressure on their keeper, who makes a poor clearance straight to Tom Nichols on the edge of the area, but he almost returns the favour with his shot being straight at the keeper. At least it is a shot on target.

The game is flowing well. We are a lot better than we were on Saturday. I wonder if it is only a coincidence that eight of the ten outfield starters today were regulars from last season. And we are still a bit hairy at the back when trying to play it out. Inviting pressure on and none of them look really comfortable doing it yet.

In three minutes of added time, we get a corner, it comes out to Francomb who plays it back in, and a headed touch on by Francillette goes just wide of the post. 0-0 at half time, but a much better performance.

The same can’t be said of the DJ at half time. Same songs, same order. And the same two-minute difference between the away team and Crawley coming back out from the half time break.

The second half has barely started, and Bristol Rovers have the ball in the net. But it was a blatant trip on Addai as the back line fannyed around with the ball again. It does seem at times that it is more luck than judgement that we don’t concede whilst doing this.

A few minutes later and ball two goes out, a wayward shot from Bristol Rovers flies over the top of the KRL Logistics stand, and not content with wanting to dent the team coach in the first half, they are now aiming for their supporters’ coach.

Just after the hour mark Bristol Rovers have the ball in the net again. And thankfully, yet again, this doesn’t count. Offside this time, and by a fair distance. The cries of ‘you’re shit, aaahhhhh!!!’ are going great guns in the second half, so much so Bristol Rovers join Crawley in playing goal kicks short in the area to reduce the instances.

Halfway through the second half and we break away, Nadesan is in the box and erm… not quite sure, it wasn’t really a shot, nor was it a pass to another player. It just ended up rolling out for a throw next to the corner flag.

But five minutes later a through ball to Nichols sees him in on the keeper. His first effort is saved, but it comes back to him, and he slots it into the empty net. It is our first goal of the season and Crawley lead 1-0.

This lifts the team even more and a few minutes later we are in on goal again. Oteh comes in from the left and has a shot which hits the post and goes out to the right. It is retrieved and put back over to Powell in the middle of the D of the penalty area, but his effort goes over the bar.

Bristol Rovers create a couple of chances, but Crawley keep playing well, and create another chance which falls to Balagizi in an identical place to the earlier Powell effort. This one misses as well, but by more and it becomes ball three out of the ground, over the Eden Utilities Stand.

The crowd is announced as 1,816 with 241 away fans, and the man of the match as chosen by the owners WAGMI is Tom Nichols.

Four minutes of injury time are shown on the board, and most of them are spent in the corners of the pitch holding the ball up and running out time, and the final whistle goes, and Crawley have won and will progress into the second round for the first time since 2019, and only the fourth time ever.

The draw is being held tonight live after the Sheffield Wednesday v Sunderland tie.

Anyway, let’s hope we can turn this kind of performance into a more permanent thing and get some league points on Saturday away at Harrogate.

Ran Out Of Gas

It’s the final game of the four home games in eleven days, and this time it’s Bristol Rovers, a game postponed from December 29th due to Covid. When the game was originally due to take place, we were one place and one point behind them, with a game in hand. They lost their next game, and we leapfrogged them in the table. Ten weeks later, and they come into tonight’s game six points and four places above us, with a defeat on Saturday being their first loss since New Year’s Day. It’s all about timing.

We had bought extra tickets for Ciaran and Nathan the night before, and I was dropped off on the way home from work to collect the tickets. I also took the opportunity to get a programme, as I knew it was going to be tight for getting back to the game on time. The programme was a bit surprising, it was the one originally made for the postponed game. The date was the same, the reports in it were from games in December, the table was from December, and the squad hadn’t been updated with January moves. I did feel a bit seen off.

Anyway, Bristol Rovers, known as The Gas, but for some reason I seem to remember them being referred to as The Pirates as well. An eye patch is probably a pre-requisite for their players when their manager is around. Joey Barton being well known for having stubbed a cigar out in a team mate’s eye whilst at a Christmas party back in his Manchester City days. (Perhaps that was the reason for the December postponement – they didn’t have enough players who could see at the time).

We weren’t quite as late to the game as we had been last Tuesday, we heard the whistle for kick off, but it takes two minutes to get all the way around the ground to where our turnstile is. We get in as there is a decent chance and a shot just over the bar from the captain. And there is another chance a couple of minutes later. A promising start.

There are a lot of away fans, and as we were walking around the stadium, we could hear them chanting, “we want to go home, we want to go home, Crawley’s a shit hole, we want to go home.” Well, feel free to fuck off any time you want.

A blocked shot during a sustained period of pressure from Bristol Rovers spins out over the Ryan Cantor Club stand for ball loss number one of the day. And we get a breakaway, and Nadesan is through one on one with the keeper only to hit it straight at him, the ball to bounce back and hit Nadesan in the face and go out for a goal kick.

The next time we attack a few minutes later it finishes in a dreadful wayward shot that soars out over the KRL Logistics stand. When (or if) it landed it may well have joined the big red and white concrete football on the roundabout.

There was an injury to a Crawley player in our own penalty area, but even when escorted off the play didn’t restart, and all the players were milling about before the announcement came that there was a delay due to the ref being replaced as he’d injured himself. Cue the biggest cheer of the night from all sides of the ground. The substitution that took place for us saw the return from a long period of injury of Jake Hessenthaler.

In the 39th minute ball number three sailed over the Mayo Wynne Baxter stand from a miscued (and a half) clearance. And then came the breakthrough. The defence went to sleep expecting an offside call, but the ball was picked up by a player coming from deeper and they ambled into the box and shot past Morris to make it 1-0 to Rovers.

There were eight minutes of injury time indicated at the end of the first half, but more were played, and with it came some of the best Crawley pressure since the early chances at the beginning of the half. For most of the time in between, Rovers had shown why they were on such a good run, and making us look a bit bad.

There was another trip to Redz bar at half time, anything to avoid the imbecilic same playlist coming out of the tinny speakers. And Crawley make another substitution at half time, and it is another return after a long time out with injury, this time it’s Kwesi Appiah, which did add another song to the chanting repertoire for the second half.

We are much more in the game in the second half and it’s a really good game. Twenty minutes into it there’s a poor pass on the edge of the Rovers’ area and they break and score to make it 2-0.

But less than five minutes later we have one back. A corner comes in and bounces around before being poked home by (according to the bloke on the tannoy) Jake Hessenthaler, but what looked to be suspiciously like an own goal from where we were sat.

I said there looked to be a lot of away fans, and this was confirmed by the crowd announcements, there was a crowd of 2,223, with 556 of them being away fans. No wonder they were able to make so much noise. At least Al wasn’t on away fan patrol all game tonight.

A couple of games ago, Morris got a booking for time wasting, but we’ve seen some dreadful time wasting from away teams, especially keepers, and there is no hint of a booking. Rovers’ keeper was just taking the piss for the whole of the second half.

With five minutes to go, ball four finds its way out over the Mayo Wynne Baxter stand after a clearance from a corner. We get a free kick a few yards outside the penalty area and Powell hits the bar with his only good delivery of the night. Despite all the time wasting, numerous injuries and substitutions there are only three minutes of injury time. But what were we left to expect from the ref who blatantly body checked a Crawley player two yards away from being able to make a tackle, and then when the ball hit him, didn’t restart with the required drop ball, but instead passed to a Rovers’ player and waved play on?

Perhaps we should stop laying on the spread of food for the officials before the match and tell them to fuck off and buy their own down the Barton.

The sponsor’s man of the match was announced as Will Ferry. And then the twat in charge of music played “Boys Don’t Cry” again. Perhaps we ought to chip in a few quid for him to buy some new tunes.

We have an away game this weekend, and then we are going to miss the following weekend’s home game against Swindon Town as we will be in Budapest, so the next game will be against Rochdale at the end of the month.