This Is The Nite

The original title I had lined up for New year’s Day isn’t applicable for a fresh Tuesday night in March, so had to dig something else up instead. And I have gone for this 1957 early soul single from the group The Valiants. Which may seem to have no relation to this game, but one of the lesser-known nicknames of tonight’s opponents is The Valiants, and it is a night (nite) game after all.

This is a rearranged game from New Year’s Day when the incompetent ref (I’m sure auto-complete could write those words all by itself quite easily by this point in the season) called the game off due to a waterlogged pitch with eleven minutes to go before kick-off. It should have been the follow up game to the crazy 4-4 draw away at Exeter City and would originally have marked the halfway point in the season.

It is the return fixture from the one at the start of December and the wonderful 2-1 away win at The Valley on a Tuesday night where we took over seven hundred away fans with us, and there was a lot more hope around.

Back when I originally prepared this, I had had two games which had reminded me of old football related quiz questions. I remembered that Charlton Athletic was an answer to another of those questions from the same period, this time, name the five league sides whose full names start and end with the same letter. As with those other remembered questions back in December, the numbers are now depleted as there only the four now as York City are no longer in the league. And the others being Aston Villa, Liverpool, and Northampton Town.

Although not being in the top-flight in the seventies, there were Charlton players in most of the Topps cards series each year during the period, and after using the 76-77 set last time, I’ve gone a year later to get Alan Dugdale.

This is only our second league outing against them after the 2-1 away win earlier in the season. We have also met four times in the various guises of the Football League Trophy, winning two and losing two.

How fortunes have gone in opposite directions since that game at the start of December, after which we were only three points and four places behind Charlton. We go into the game today seventeen places behind Charlton, who are now in the playoff places, and thirty points behind them. So, in just over three months they’ve picked up twenty-seven more points than we have.

We come into the game on the back of the last minute (of normal time) equaliser to get a point against Reading, in a game where another five seconds would have seen us win, but ref was doing his best Clive Thomas impression. We are far from safety and need to win every game now to stand a hope of staying up.

Under pressure manager, Rob Elliot, is returning to the club he supported as a child, and whom he played for between 2004 and 2011. And squad members JoJo Wollacott, Charlie Barker, Panutche Camara, and Armando Junior Quitirna have all played for Charlton previously, with all of them likely to play some part this evening. Former loanee Aaron Henry is on Charlton’s books, but is recovering from injury so definitely won’t be playing tonight.

Not too much of a rush for a Tuesday night game for a change, there with twenty minutes to spare. The club have fixed the broken seat in front of us since the Cambridge game. I’m sure that the speed they have fixed that will lead to questions about the hand driers in the west stand.

Charlton are in pale yellow shirts and socks and black shorts. Almost as if they are a load of highlighters which have been left out in the sun and faded. We are in our all red. Our mate Al the steward was helping people to their seats, but neither he nor the people he was helped noticed that their tickets were for seats in the 190s, and not the 90s they were guided to.

It takes less than a minute for TAFKAL to bellow ‘get on with it’. There was a five-minute spell where he headed off and the Charlton full back didn’t know what to do with himself when taking a throw, but normal service was resumed after the throat operation.

We have an early counterattack and Armando Junior Quitirna wins a corner. It is deep and headed back to Panutche Camara and his shot is blocked at close quarters in the box.

There is a lot of intent going forward from both sides. Charlton look to have a bit more quality up front, but we are attacking well. Right up until the moment of the final ball. Will Swan is offside when played through, and if he hadn’t been, the shot was well wide anyway. Thirty seconds later and Camara plays Swan through again, and he puts the shot wide the other side this time.

A Charlton corner is headed away by Charlie Barker. The throw in is worked across and they get a shot from the edge of the area which goes well over. We get down the other end and win a throw and it is a long one from Barker, half cleared back to him, and he crosses it, it hits an attacker in the box, but it is just a hit and falls to their keeper.

Camara is caught late in midfield and the Charlton player picks up a yellow card for the challenge. We do a bit of fannying about, and then someone slips in midfield, Charlton get a shot off which goes just wide. Toby Mullarkey loses the ball going forward in his own half, Charlton cross to the back post and Ade Adeyemo slips leaving their attacker to be able to get a shot which takes a deflection and seems to go through JoJo Wollacott into the goal and we trail 0-1.

At the other end, an AJQ cross goes right through the six-yard box without either team getting a touch on it. Mullarkey lets a long ball go over his head and bounce and then can’t get to it before the Charlton attacker, but their shot is well saved by Wollacott at the expense of a corner. They work a shot from that, but it goes wide.

AJQ has another cross which sails through the box and still we can’t get a body on the end of it, you can hear and feel the frustration from the crowd. We can’t get on the end of a decent final ball at all. There is one added minute at the end of the half before the half time whistle goes with it 0-1.

The second half takes a while to warm up, it’s a few minutes before there is any hint of an attacking threat from either side. We win a corner from a Kamara Doyle shot which is blocked wide. It comes in and is easily caught by the keeper.

There is some indecisive defending in our own box and Charlton get a shot on target which Wollacott saves at the second attempt. And the timewasting has started in earnest. Their number 16 is down at the other end of the pitch injured, what from no one knows. Perhaps he is missing TAFKAL bellowing at him. AJQ picks up a booking for a dive in the box. Not convinced that was a dive.

After more Charlton possession we break down the left wing, Camara plays it to Swan, and he cuts inside but the shot drifts wide. Not convinced that was his best option with two in the box, but the chances of a final ball actually finding one of them would probably have been slim to none anyway.

Charlton have another shot from the edge of the box which is saved by Wollacott. We attack down the left and Doyle gets a cross in. Swan jumps for it and misses but it bounces to Max Anderson and his attempt is blocked away for a throw. A long throw comes in from Barker and it is headed for a corner. Taken short to AJQ who cuts in and shoots, his shot is saved, and it comes out to the edge of the area and Camara tries a blasted shot only for it to be blocked and nearly play a Charlton attacker in on our own goal.

We break again and Camara plays it to Doyle, who passes it on to Swan and his cross / shot goes for a corner. It’s Camara’s last involvement as he and Anderson are subbed off with Tyreese John-Jules and Louie Watson coming on to replace them. The corner is worked well with the two subs and AJQ and we win another corner. That gets to Adeyemo, and his shot just curls wide.

Charlton have a right-wing attack which cuts us open easily, Adeyemo slips again, for about the eighth time, he needs some longer studs. The shot comes in and Wollacott saves, and the ball is bundled out for a corner which Barker heads clear again.

And in almost an action replay, Adeyemo is beaten again by their right winger and ends up on the floor, and they are through on goal but shoot wide. Thankfully. But at the other end Adeyemo stays upright and gets a cross in and it is just flicked headed over Swan by a defender. Barker’s long throw on the other side is flicked on and tipped over the bar by the keeper. It is taken short, and the cross misses everyone in the box and it comes back out to Watson and his shot goes just wide.

Barker picks up a booking on the far side for stopping their left winger at pace, though he is protesting the winger dived. But we break down the left and Charlton get a booking for a pull back on TJJ.

There are more substitutions, Liam Fraser and Adeyemo come off to be replaced by Bradley Ibrahim and the return of Jeremy Kelly from injury. And after a couple of Charlton subs, a minute later we make our final substitution with Mullarkey going off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan.

Doyle puts a cross in and it won’t fall for anyone and is half cleared to Ibrahim who attempts to follow up his goal of the month contender from last month, but it spins off the outside of his foot and goes high and wide.

There are five added minutes, during which Charlton have no intention of doing anything but professional shithousery. And they do it very well. An AJQ cross gets to Swan, but the ball is blocked and falls to the keeper. A Doyle cross goes for a corner, which comes in and see a Crawley player down in the box, for which Charlton get a free kick. One of their players is stood over the player on the ground taunting them, but Barker is having none of that and some handbags kick off. Which continues all over the pitch with Charlton players deliberately throwing and kicking the ball away from where the free kick should be taken. And then again down in the far corner, Barker is squaring up again to more shithousery.

The full-time whistle goes to put us out of our misery for this game. It is a 0-1 loss, which on the whole seemed a fair, if very frustrating, result. As it has been for most of the season, that final ball quality isn’t quite there, and the finishing isn’t great. There will be moans about the lack of shots on target, and I will say again, we have a lot more shots on target than we get credit for. If a shot is on target and hits a defender, it gets counted as a blocked shot. Only shots that go in or are saved by the keeper get counted as on target, which is a bullshit way to keep stats.

Cambridge lost as well, so we stay twenty-second, but as they lost to Bristol Rovers, we are now even more goal difference and the nine points from safety. It looks as if it will take the recuperative powers of Lazarus, Captain Jack Harkness, and Wolverine to prevent relegation now. But it isn’t mathematically impossible. Yet. Next up is Huddersfield Town away on Saturday.

Come on you reds.

All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit

I know it isn’t near Christmas, but there is a logic to my choice of title for today’s game. It is actually football related. Due to Fuck Sky Sports messing with kick off times, and my involvement in Crawley WORDfest events, I wasn’t able to get to today’s game until half time. So it is only half a match report. The opponents are Reading, who, although they prefer to be known as the Royals, were traditionally known as the Biscuitmen. This track is by Half Man Half Biscuit from their 1987 album “Back In The DHSS Again”. And in honour to this there is a picture of a half-eaten biscuit, which is shortbread, in tribute to the shorter piece this time around.

For some inexplicable reason, FSS have fucked with the kick off time for our game against Reading for the second time this season, as the away game in October was also moved to be a 12:30 kick off. Why both of our games against Reading needed to be shown on TV is anyone’s guess. We lost that game 4-1. That being our only league game against Reading. We had played them in the third round of the FA Cup in 2005, losing 3-1. Our only other games were pre-season friendlies against them in 1972, which we won 2-0, and in 2015 which we won1-0.

This game comes a week after the wading through treacle loss against at home to Cambridge United last Saturday, after which somehow the FA managed to find trumped up charges against Tola Showumni and hand down a three match ban for alleged violent conduct, but as I remarked at the time, it was more extra from Platoon acting from Cambridge. Plus other allegations relating to our director of football and a now former fan board member as we lurch from one shit show to another.

Then there was the capitulation 4-1 loss away at Lincoln City on Tuesday night midweek, where we picked up more injuries to the lengthy list we already have, and with two suspensions, it wouldn’t have been a surprise to find Reggie named on the bench for the game today. That game made our goal difference worse, but at least we didn’t slip to the bottom of the table, staying in twenty-third, but with other results we are now seven points, and even more goals, off safety. Meanwhile Reading are in eighth and twenty-five points ahead of us, and are on a long unbeaten run. Just what we need.

Reading were one of the sides which despite being a long-established league club, Topps and A&BC wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. More recently they have been in the Premier League and so will have been Match Attax-ed up, but there is the 1992 Proset collection to fall back on, and the one player included was Trevor Senior who was in his second spell with them, almost a decade on from when he had been the league’s top scorer in the 1983-84 season.

So, after this morning’s WORDfest event, where our writing group’s 2025 booklets were given out. It was a rush down to the ground to arrive at half time.

And it is a quick scuttle off after the game as well, as there is a quick change before heading up to London as we go out to celebrate Helen’s birthday.

There is little time to catch our breath as we have the final one of our rearranged games on Tuesday night, this one at home against Charlton Athletic which was postponed eleven minutes before kick off on New Year’s Day.

Come on you reds.

March Of The Mods

It’s a new month, after January took about thirty-four weeks to get through, February has gone in little more than thirty-four hours. It’s March, hence the title of this piece, a 1964 single from The Joe Loss Orchestra, which just about hit the top forty, their last chart hit. It is a nice fast tempo piece, which is more than can be said about our performance.

It has been a long week since the disappointing non-performance last weekend in the 3-1 defeat away at Blackpool, but it gives the players a full week to prepare after a couple of weeks with midweek fixtures crammed in.

Cambridge was our first away game of the season, and we came away with a 1-0 win courtesy of a late Ade Adeyemo goal. Since then neither of us have been ripping up trees in League One, and both of us have different managers now with Garry Monk finally getting the boot and being replaced by Neil Harris less than two weeks ago.

In total we have played them thirteen times in the league, with six wins and seven defeats and no draws at all. We have also played them in the Southern League back in the 1969-70 season, losing both, and in the Conference for a few seasons in the noughties, where we were much better against them, winning six, losing two, and drawing four, there was also a win against them in the FA Trophy during that six season run of games.

Going into the game today we are in twenty-second in the league, with Cambridge two places and three points behind us, so this is a game we absolutely have to win, and we need to improve our abysmal record in playing sides bottom of the table. We are five points from safety, but the places and points above that have been concertinaing over the last couple of weeks. But we need wins, bugger the performance, as long as we score one more than them it is all that matters at this point in the season.

In the Cambridge squad there is Sullai Kaikai, who had a brief loan sojourn with us back in 2014. In the other direction, Rushian Hepburn-Murphy, was on loan there back in 2019.

And in the pre-John Beck days, so before they were hoofing it up the league and threatening promotion to the top flight, Topps did manage to feature a couple of Cambridge players in their last set of the seventies. I knew there was one – Alan Biley but didn’t realise / remember there was a second player in the set as well – Bill Garner.

It is a gloriously sunny afternoon which should raise the spirits. Let’s hope it raises the team, and they aren’t as under the weather as I’m feeling today. It is good to see our injured quartet of players out doing light warmups before the game. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before they are fully fit and ready to make a return to playing action. (Albeit that ship of saving us may well have sailed.)

A surprise to see that Rory Feely is starting today, but it’s probably best not to be too touchy about it.

Cambridge had sold 1,2000 tickets, and the away end was filling up quickly early on. Those direct trains must have been full earlier on.

Some of the seats are cracking up more than the poor supporters sat in them in the east marquee as the season goes on.

And I’m not sure they had the most experienced of teams out on the pitch during the pre-match warm up.

Cambridge are in some strange patterned sky blue and white shirts, with sky blue shorts and socks, as if they are some kind of nineties Coventry City wannabes. And they enforce the change of ends before kick-off, which I can only hope backfires as much as us doing the same thing away at Blackpool last weekend did. Meanwhile we are in our usual all red home kit.

The whole Mansfield clan row behind us was missing. Rick was the only one to turn up as he joined at half time, only to go off to get some chips a few minutes into the game and never come back.

Almost straight from the kick-off we have an attack and a shot with Kamari Doyle trying to catch their keeper off guard with an early effort, but it drifts wide. Cambridge come back down the other end and win a corner, it is half cleared, put back in and a shot from outside the box is just wide.

It doesn’t take TAFKAL long to get “get on with it” bawled out at the Cambridge wing back, offering some hilarity early on, but as with most of the Crawley performances, it became less enthusiastic the longer the game went on.

Dion Conroy gets taken out in midfield and it brings an early yellow card for a Cambridge player. The free kick is put in and headed back out and is then crossed in by Charlie Barker, but it is easily collected by the keeper. Cambridge attack and win a corner which comes in and is headed over.

We attack down the left and Doyle plays it back to Feely whose cross becomes more of a shot and just drifts past the far post. Another left-wing attack is broken up and Cambridge counterattack and get a cross into the back post and the header is only just over.

Back to us, attacking down the right wing this time, with Armando Junior Quitirna and Barker combining, the ball comes back to Barker, and he puts a deep cross in, where only Harry Forster in is the box. He just about gets his head on it, but it loops high over the bar.

So much slow play at the back, left to right to left to right to left to right all without moving more than five yards up or down the pitch. But then Barker pings a great deep cross field ball to Forster, and he cuts inside to the edge of the box and his curling shot takes a deflection and goes out for a corner. There is a ridiculous amount of pushing, shoving, shirt pulling, and other shenanigans in the box, with the ref holding up the taking of the corner three times to go in and try and sort it out. Only for when the corner does get taken it to go straight into the arms of the keeper.

And it comes straight up the other end for a Cambridge corner. After clearing we go down the left and Tyreese John-Jules and Kamari Doyle link up, the cross is half cleared, the ball goes up in the air and Forster heads it to Rushian Hepburn-Murphy and his shot is blocked and it spins out to Doyle and his shot curls just wide.

The Cambridge keeper goes down with an injury which takes a few minutes to clear up. At the other end, their number 22 just skips through our defence like it isn’t there and JoJo Wollacott blocks the cross out for a corner. Which comes in and see Wollacott blatantly barged into, and the loose ball turned into the net. And it stands. FFS, it’s just fucking blatant, and just like Exeter the opposition are allowed to get away with it. It is 0-1.

We get an attack and win a corner, it is half cleared and pumped back in long to the far side of the area, TJJ crosses it back only for it to bounce back off him and go out for a goal kick. A corner follows soon after and it is easily cleared.

As usual most of our decent play is coming down the left wing and is through Forster. Bradley Ibrahim plays a ball through to him and Forster has a shot which is blocked for a corner. More blatant holding and pulling going on unpunished by the Cambridge defence, much like it was at the other end for their goal.

The board goes up for two added minutes, which is a piss take seeing as their keeper was down injured for three minutes, and there is plenty of time wasting going on. TJJ gets cynically taken out after the ball has gone, but the ref isn’t interested and lets Cambridge attack before the half time whistle goes with us 0-1 down.

Half time is a bit weird; the subs didn’t come out to warm up until about ten minutes into the break, and then the team were out early and well before the Cambridge players. Which hopefully means they’ve had a fucking rocket at half time. And not the ice lolly.

The first action of the half is a booking for the Cambridge number 18. It was coming, he was lucky not to get one early in the first half when he just barged Conroy over off the ball, getting a talking to, and then before half time he got another talking to, but finally he worked his way into the book. Then AJQ gets a booking for a sliding challenge after not getting a decision when being kicked by two Cambridge defenders just before that.

There is a somewhat frustrated effort from Conroy from thirty-five yards which is dragged wide left. Then we get a corner, which is taken twice, a shot is easily cleared and then their number 26 stamps on Doyle whilst he is on the floor, but miraculously no one sees anything.

We give the ball away carelessly in midfield and a Cambridge player takes a speculative shot from their own half. It looks as if it has the beating of Wollacott, but happily it just drifts wide right as he scrambled back.

There is another foul on Forster on the left wing and we get a free kick, the ball goes into the box and is cleared but the games comes to a halt with a Cambridge player down in the box and the ref pulls out a straight red for RHM. No idea what happened, but there isn’t much arguing about it. The second RHM is off the pitch though the Cambridge player is straight up and running up field with a broad smile on his face.

And almost their next attack their right winger gets past Forster and puts a low ball into the box which is swept home with nonchalant ease, and we are 0-2 down with ten men.

Which brings our first substitution, with Ibrahim being replaced by Tola Showumni, assumedly before he can talk his way into any more trouble as the ref had the look of having enough of his chirruping.

An attack is half cleared, and Barker gets to the ball first on the right wing only for the Cambridge number 26 to get what he should have had earlier for the stamp on Doyle, by getting a straight red for a studs up challenge. Barker shows remarkable restraint not to get up and lamp a couple of the Cambridge players stood over him yelling in his face and prodding him and trying to drag him to his feet. It is now ten a side. And their keeper is down again with what is obvious a tactical injury to hold up play so that Cambridge can reorganise and get a substitution on before we can take the free kick. Which we waste.

Conroy is obviously of the mind that we need to be shooting more, and has another pop from thirty-five yards, this one goes wide right. And it is time for another couple of substitutions. AJQ and Forster go off to be replaced by Ade Adeyemo and Will Swan. I can understand AJQ, who hasn’t seemed quite with it since the transfer window debacle, but replacing Forster at this stage of the game for the second week running is somewhat mind-boggling. If only the rest of them put in as much effort as he and Barker do, then perhaps we wouldn’t be in this sorry mess.

We are having plenty of possession but appear to be under the impression we are only allowed to do crab impersonations and pass the ball sideways and back again. Finally a through ball is played, Doyle finds Adeyemo in the box, but his shot hits the side netting on the wrong side of the post, so failing to repeat his effort from the away game.

Cambridge get a corner which goes straight to Wollacott without anyone attempting a rugby tackle on him, we get the ball forward and into the box, but Swan’s first touch is too heavy, and the keeper collects and feigns another injury. Liam Fraser has a pop from about thirty yards out which skids just wide. And again there is plenty of possession and crab like passing which is neither use nor fucking ornament. Doyle does get a shooting opportunity, but it hits a defender and just loops nicely to the keeper.

Time for the final substitutions, Fraser and Doyle are off with Max Alexander and Panutche Camara coming on in their places. Another ball into the Cambridge box sees another extra from Platoon bravely throw themselves to the ground to waste as much time as possible.

And there is more tippy tappy bollocks back and forth but never forward. Until Barker takes a ball and puts a deep cross in, TJJ (who for some inexplicable reason is still on the pitch) heads it, but it is deflected for a corner. The east marquee appears to be having a fire drill. Or my BO problem has taken on gargantuan status, as it is nearly deserted around us. Adeyemo has a shot, but it is blocked.

The board goes up for six added minutes. Which is fuck all in the scheme of the monumental timewasting and play acting that has gone on from the Cambridge players in the second half, and all the subs. Compare and contrast with the twelve minutes at Bolton, and it is clear that the officials are just making shit up as they go along.

A Barker cross in sees a Showumni header but it goes wide. And finally the Cambridge keeper picks up his academy award, sorry, yellow card for timewasting, only about an hour later than it should have come.

Camara has a shot from the edge of the area but slices it and it just bounces over the roof of the KRL Logistics stand for the only ball loss of the game. Cambridge break, and Anderson is trying to pull back their player in midfield, without any success, and he carries on into the box being forced wide and Barker concedes a corner, and then picks up a yellow card, which I’m assuming was for the Anderson pull back, the ref couldn’t even get that right.

There are eight minutes added time played, and even if there had been another ten after the Cambridge players had left the pitch, I doubt we could have levelled things up. The final whistle goes, and it is a 0-2 loss. To the side bottom of the table. Again. God, we are shit when playing bottom of the table. Every fucking year.

The defeat sees Cambridge leapfrog us into twenty-second, with us being saved the bottom place by virtue of Shrewsbury losing to Peterborough after they had a record equalling thirteenth second sending off. We are now six points adrift of safety, and all it seems we can do is shuffle the deckchairs on the Titanic.

Tuesday night sees us away at Lincoln City, before FSS screw up next Saturday with a stupid 12:30 kick off at home to Reading, which I’ll miss the first half of. If it is anything like today, that may well be a blessing. It goes without saying, but I will say it anyway, these games are now must win games, as every game is from here in.

From this point on, sod whatever Rob Elliot is telling you to do, just take inspiration from Forster and Barker and put your fucking heart and souls into these games.

Come on you reds.

The Cabaret

A long forgotten 1983 single from the band Time UK, which only just about struggled into the lower reaches of the chart. It was their only charting single (and they only had one more single full stop). Whilst prepping for Tuesday night’s game I hadn’t seen the news or social media, and so it wasn’t until after the game that I heard about the death of the greatest band ever – The Jam – drummer Rick Buckler. Time UK was the band he formed after Paul Weller had broken The Jam up at the end of 1982. He then drifted out of music and into carpentry, before forming From The Jam, along with Bruce Foxton and Russell Hastings, but left again after a couple of years. From The Jam are still touring, but it is Bruce Foxton’s last hurrah as he is retiring this year. Before the news I was thinking about having something from Tangerine Dream for the title of this piece or following up on Tuesday night’s title with some more Northern Soul, seeing as one of the other famous seventies venues was the Blackpool Mecca. And I suppose if you wanted to find a cabaret anywhere, Blackpool is one of the most likely places. There is a campaign to download and stream The Jam’s ‘Funeral Pyre’ so that it charts in his memory. (Yes, it sounds a bit off, but it really is the greatest example of his drumming skills.) But I’ve already used a Jam song for a title this year (coincidentally in the home fixture against Blackpool), so this is the next best thing. RIP Rick.

Games are coming thick and fast, Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, but there is then a week before the next game. After a run of three home games which have seen a win and two draws. We need to be keeping that unbeaten run going (we got away with one on Tuesday really) but convert some draws into wins.

We travelled up halfway Thursday night, and the rest Friday morning to stay with my mum in Morecambe. But as we’re staying with my mum and need to deliver her from the much hated (by her) Blackpool, there will be no post-match curry, we’ll have to save that for the Sunday night when we get back to Crawley. Such hardship.

And late on Friday it was announced that we have signed free agent Louie Watson (assuming he plays for us, with a name like that there is a real danger of that becoming Louis Walsh). He has been without a club since August when he was released by Luton but has been training with us for the last couple of weeks and is another defensive midfielder.

It so happens that two of my oldest friends back from when I lived in Leicester are currently living in Blackpool, so I had squeezed in meeting up with them pre-game, only to try and upgrade that into persuading them to come and see the mighty Crawley play, but I went to get tickets from the stadium at 10:30 only for the grinning fools to gleefully say they weren’t selling on the day to away fans until !3:30, by which point they’d come to their senses and decided not to come. We were talking of away days; we were remembering an infamous away trip to see Leicester City play Grimsby Town in the early nineties. One of our other friends got arrested for bringing cans into the ground, and we had to pick him up from the police station on the way home, as the driver of the minibus went in to collect him (the only sober person there), everyone else nipped out of the minibus and relieved themselves on the police station wall.

Today’s opponents are Blackpool, and we are up in their own ‘temporary’ east stand (though it isn’t a marquee), which is supposedly being replaced this year after fifteen years in operation. Bloomfield Road has been their home since 1901, and the other three stands are named after their three most famous players, Sir Stanley Matthews, Stan Mortensen, and Jimmy Armfield. But in my childhood Topps addled brain, the team Blackpool is synonymous with Mickey Walsh, as he was their sole representative in both the 1976-77 red backs (pictured below) and the 1977-78 orange backs. He was also in the 1978-79 set, but by then he had transferred to Everton.

We have played Blackpool three times now, twice back in the 2016–17 season, and we won 1–0 at home and had a 0–0 draw away. We managed to repeat the win at home in the first game of the season, this time 2-1 (one of only twice I’ve got the prediction correct this season), let’s hope we can better the away draw this time around. Although I did read during the week that Blackpool have managed to draw their last eight home games, and they are the division’s draw specialists with fourteen out of thirty-one games finishing level. Like us they have a different manager from that season opener, with them wheeling Steve Bruce out of retirement.

At kick off we are ten places and twelve points behind Blackpool as they sit twelfth. That is exactly the same differences as we had when we played Stevenage on the Tuesday before last. (I’m willing to go for any clutching at straws omens I can find.) They don’t have any of our former players, but Tyreese John-Jules did play for them on loan from Arsenal back in the 2021-22 season. He didn’t score for them either in his twelve appearances.

After a morning wandering around parts of Blackpool taking a few photos and bumping into other random Crawley fans in random locations,

I did manage to pick up a programme, which isn’t bad for the money, not too advert heavy, and there are a few pages about Crawley, and an interesting piece about our non-league days.

Blackpool are in their traditional tangerine shirts, white shorts, and tangerine socks. Their number 3 is called Husband, but they don’t have a player called Wife in their squad, so they aren’t a husband and wife team. We are in our blue and black third kit. And Crawley have enforced the change of ends before the kick off.

Blackpool have started quicker than us, and they get an early corner, which we do manage to defend quite easily. We give the ball away in our own half (a foul was claimed but not given), and a Blackpool striker is in on goal with a one-on-one chance, but he doesn’t test JoJo Wollacott in goal as he drags the shot wide.

But it is only a temporary respite, as Blackpool attack again down the right wing and get a cross into the box and there is an unchallenged header, and it is in, and we trail 0-1. And again only a minute later, this time there is a blatant handball in midfield before the ball is played down the right, and we stop the effort at the expense of a corner.

We have an attack down the right wing, Kamari Doyle gets a cross in and it headed back out, Ben Radcliffe puts it back in and it is headed clear for a throw on the far side. It gets played into the box again but is cleared. We have some more decent possession and attack down the right, get a cross into the box again and Tyreese John-Jules heads it just wide.

At the other end there is a harmless looking shot from the Blackpool number eight, but another striker nips in behind a sleeping defence and flicks it past the waiting Wollacott to make it 0-2. We are really struggling to get into the game at all.

Blackpool have another corner, which is half cleared, the ball back in is put out for another corner which we clear and have a break, but Rushian Hepburn-Murphy takes a shot from thirty-five yards out which just dribbles wide. It is temporary respite as Blackpool have the ball in our box again and a smart turn sees their attacker in plenty of space to get a shot off, it goes through someone’s legs but fortunately out wide.

We construct an attack and get the ball down the left, Will Swan and RHM exchange passes, and Swan is into the box, and he squares it across the six-yard box and Kamari Doyle is there to stroke it in and we are back into it 1-2.

It looks like there is a clash of heads on the other side of the pitch, the Blackpool player is up quicker, but Charlie Barker is down for longer and looks a bit groggy when he gets back up. The ref is called to the sideline by the fourth official, and he comes back and shows the Blackpool player a straight red and they are down to ten men. (Apparently there was a head butt involved.) A minute later Steve Bruce picks up a booking for moaning about another decision.

Playing against ten men we are having a bit of pressure. RHM gets down the left, has two crosses in, both are cleared, Radcliffe crosses from the other side and that takes a glancing header to go out for a throw. Barker does a long throw in, but it is cleared. Barker is getting booed for every touch now, as it’s obviously his fault for the Blackpool player being a head-butting thug. It is becoming more of a pantomime than a cabaret.

The ball is played out from the back and down the left, then across to TJJ in the box only for his shot to be blocked by the keeper. We have a lot of possession, lots of passing it across the back and midfield, right up until the point where Dion Conroy gets bored and just smashes a shot from thirty-five yards out which goes over.

The board is put up for three added minutes. Enough time for Swan to get wiped out on the left wing. Which brings another booking for a Blackpool player, and the home crowd aren’t happy with the refereeing display. The free kick comes in and is cleared and the half time whistle goes with the score 1-2.

At half time I noticed this banner up on the wall above the north stand, and it reminded me of another random away trip. Back on Easter Monday 2002 I was persuaded to go to Ewood Park as an away fan to watch Southampton play Blackburn. In the away end there were twenty fans in orange Blackpool shirts. I thought to myself perhaps they have come to the wrong black town, but it turns out they had come to see Brett Ormerod play having sold him to Southampton earlier in the season.

The queue for refreshments at half time was ridiculous, not enough people for the volume of away fans, and it’s a couple of minutes into the second half before we are back to our seats, just in time to see a ball in from Radcliffe get headed onto the roof of the net by TJJ. It would appear that there has been a swap around at half time. Barker and Radcliffe have changed sides, and Harry Forster is now being busy down the left wing. Swan picks up a booking for a pull back.

The first substitution of the afternoon comes as Max Alexander departs to be replaced by Armando Junior Quitirna. Conroy slips up at halfway and gives it away to a Blackpool striker, and they are in one on one with the keeper, but fortunately he drags his shot wide.

TJJ runs with the ball from midfield and passes to Swan who cuts in and shoots, but it is easily saved. A minute later TJJ has his legs taken away in the box, but the ref isn’t interested. Blackpool break and win a corner. It is caught by Wollacott, and he rolls it out to Swan who runs past halfway before switching it over to the right to AJQ, who cuts inside and shoots, but it is well over. The AJQ gets taken out on the right wing. The free kick is headed out for a corner which comes in only for the whistle to go for a foul.

We are making hard work of this, playing against ten men. There is a lack of energy out there as if they were fed bromide in their half time cups of tea. There is plenty of possession but absolutely no penetration. Two more subs are made Radcliffe and Forster are off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan and Ade Adeyemo. Forster looks nearly as surprised as we are when he hears his name called out by the stadium announcer as he certainly wasn’t looking over at the board and expecting his number to be up.

Despite the man advantage we are still shocking at the back. A ball gets into the box, and we make a mess of challenging for it, Wollacott makes a good save, and then somehow gets across to make it a double save, and a third shot goes just wide. But that initial mess of a challenge is pulled up and the ref brings it back to give Blackpool a penalty. And although he goes the right way Wollacott can’t stop the well taken penalty from going right into the corner, and we go further behind against the ten men, 1-3.

The ball is finding its way into the Blackpool box, but there is no shot at the end of it, time after time. As you might expect from ten men, every goal kick, free kick and throw in is taking an age. We win a corner, and another. Adeyemo finds TJJ and his deflected shot is collected by the keeper, easily over the line but neither the ref or lino spot it, and we don’t get the corner. We do get one on the other side a minute later, and it is flicked on at the near post only for RHM’s header to be straight at the keeper.

We make the final two substitutions with TJJ and Doyle going off to be replaced by Rory Feely and new signing Louie Watson. They come on and the board goes up to say three minutes of added time. Which after the Bolton game is an absolute fucking piss take. Three fucking minutes, for all the time wasting, nine subs, a goal, the fannying about before the penalty. Where is the fucking consistency. Although to be fair, even if we had had another forty minutes, we still wouldn’t have really looked like scoring in the second half.

The final whistle goes to end what has been one of the most insipid halves of football I’ve seen us play all season. We lose 1-3, despite playing against ten men for sixty minutes, and letting them score whilst we had a man advantage. They weren’t even that good. We are shit at playing against ten men, there was no energy out there especially after taking Forster off.

9,231 was the attendance announced and shown on the scoreboard, I’m sure the announcer did mention how many away fans there were, but he went into mumble mode whilst doing it, so I don’t know how many poor Crawley fans had to watch that. And then after the final whistle we were shepherded out of a fire exit and down dead-end streets instead of being able to leave the way we came in. The way they treat the away fans there is a bit shit.

Results around us weren’t great, bottom of the table Cambridge United won, but they stay behind us, and with them visiting us next Saturday, we could have done without them getting a morale boosting win. Burton won, and Peterborough won, but at least Shrewsbury lost. We stay twenty-second in the table, but are now again five points from safety, and three points behind Burton. We can’t afford any more lackadaisical performances like the one today if we are going to survive. What the hell happened to the team we saw ten days ago in the games against Stevenage and Wycombe. Come back. Please.

A week to calm down now before it is home action again (next month now).

Come on you reds.

Turning My Heartbeat Up

It had to be some Northern Soul for this game, after all, Wigan Casino is the most famous of all the great Northern Soul venues of the seventies and early eighties. And I do love a bit of Northern Soul (well, a lot really), so chose this classic tune by The M.V.P.s. And it is apt given the last five minutes of the game.

This is the last of three home games in eight days, following the stirring win against Stevenage last Tuesday, and the solid draw against high-flying Wycombe Wanderers on Saturday. Tonight sees the visit of Wigan Athletic, another of the host of former Premier League teams we are playing this season. This is a rearranged game, from the FA Cup third round weekend at the beginning of January, as Wigan were still in the cup then.

The first ever Crawley Town game I went to was in the 2006–07 season. I moved to Crawley from Manchester when work changed. Others from my old office didn’t move, and one of my former colleagues in Manchester was a Southport season ticket holder, and he was down in Crawley for the game in the Conference. There were a lot of drinks before the game following on from a heavy Friday night out, and so I remember little from the game. The most vivid memory is of Howard slamming my fingers in the door of the car we’d got a lift to the Broadfield Stadium in. There were about thirty of us stood / wandering behind the goal in the away terrace, and there was no east marquee then. The game seemed to go very quickly, and I couldn’t remember the score. (I looked the game up as to when it was and what the score was. 20th of January 2007 and Crawley won 2–1.)

You may ask why this is relevant in a Wigan match report? My abiding memory of my Southport supporting friend is his avid hatred for Wigan. Despite him only being four at the time he has never forgiven the fact that Southport failed to get re-election to the league after the 1977–78 season when Wigan Athletic replaced them (this is in the days before there was automatic promotion from the Conference). And so now every time I think of Wigan’ I am reminded of them replacing Southport in the league and that they, unlike Barrow who were replaced by Wimbledon (original version) the season before, have not made it back to the Football League.

With Wigan not joining the league until 1978, there are no Topps cards from that period. There are lots of later cards from Match Attax with them having been in the Premier League, but I did find one of them from the 1991–92 Proset collection. The well-known Bryan Griffiths. (At this point, not even I know if I’m being sarcastic or not.)

The game sees the quick return of one of the final members of last season’s promotion winning squad to get sold on, Ronan Darcy, make a quick return to the Broadfield Stadium, as he has moved to Wigan.

This is only our second league meeting. The first was earlier in the season when we lost 1–0 at the JJB stadium, despite having the better of the play and chances at the end of August. Our only other game against them came back in 2017 in the FA Cup first round when we lost 2–1 at their place, so this is our first home game against them.

We go into the game in twenty-first in the league, three places and six points behind Wigan, their form over the last six games is the same as ours, two wins, a draw, and three losses. We are three points (and nine in goal difference on top) from the safety of twentieth. So we would need a nine-goal win to get out of the relegation spots tonight. Which would be unlikely seeing as Wigan have one of the better defensive records in the division. Though I can remember them losing 9–0 before. But that was back in their Premier League days and was against Spurs.

No matter how much time you think you are leaving yourself, it always seems to be a rush to get to an evening kick-off, but it wasn’t such a rush as last week. Wigan are in blue and white, stripes on the front of their shirt, and two-tone shorts and socks. Against us in all red.

We start on the front foot and Kamari Doyle is away down the right wing and he gets a cross into the box, but there is no one there to meet it and it is easily cleared. But the ball is soon up the other end. They get crosses in from both wings before the ball is put out for a corner, which we clear, and then in midfield a Wigan player manages to hoof the ball over the centre of the west stand for ball loss number one of the day.

A free kick is played over to the wide right and Doyle picks it up and cuts inside into the box and shoots, but it is high and wide. Liam Fraser wins the ball in midfield and plays it through the centre of the park to Tola Showumni whose shot is the power blaster it looks like it could have been, and it trickles past the right-hand post.

Wigan get another corner, Charlie Barker heads clear, only for a Wigan player to pick it up and have a shot from distance, but that goes well over. From the back we play out and Showumni holds the ball up at halfway before passing it to Doyle, who plays it into Rushian Hepburn-Murphy in the box and his shot is saved by the keeper.

But it is Wigan having more possession and more pressure, passing it about and getting it out to the right winger, who cuts inside and curls a shot goalwards which JoJo Wollacott pushes around the post for a corner. Wigan winning a corner is a sentence I will be typing too many times today, another one a couple of minutes later, they get a shot off which is deflected behind for another corner.

We get an attack down the left and Harry Forster cuts inside and has a shot that is blocked, it looks as if it is going to fall to RHM, but it is just whipped off his toes and goes for a corner to us, which is easily cleared.

Guess what, another Wigan corner, taken to the near post and flicked across the goal to go out on the far side for a goal kick. After the last few games where there hasn’t been a lot of fannying around at the back, we seem to have regressed for this one, it is back to slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, the quick, quick part seems to have fucked off for the evening.

Stop me if you’ve read this one before, but there is another Wigan corner. It is cleared, put back in, and another corner is given, which is a joke as their player helped it over the line. They play it short and then cross it in only for the offside flag to go up and we get a breather. Another attack, a ball into the box, half cleared, and a shot hits Barker in the unmentionables, whilst their number ten claims a handball. And it continues, a break from Wigan down the left, their number ten crosses, and a header is saved by Wollacott at point blank range, but the rebound is bundled in, and we trail 0–1.

Straight from the restart we seem to wake up, a ball is played down the left and RHM outpaces the defender and puts a cross in, it goes all the way through the six-yard box and Doyle picks it up on the other side of the penalty area. He lays it back to the edge of the area where the onrushing Barker meets it first time and drives the ball into the far top corner of the goal to level things up at 1–1.

Forster rampages through midfield and gets a push in the back sending him straight into another Wigan defender. We get a free kick about thirty yards out to the left of centre, and Wigan get a booking. Doyle takes and forces a save from the keeper, who drops it out for a corner, which Wigan dispute saying it never crossed the line. We take it and the ref blows for half time. No board went up and there was no announcement about added time, but we played two minutes.

The Wigan number ten looks like the kind of player we could do with here. Any chance of signing him up?

TAFKAL has been trying to get involved, but it’s been a difficult half for him, Wigan have only had the one throw on this side of the pitch, and the linesman hasn’t done anything of note. (He does pick up a bit in the second half.)

Wigan start the second half on the front foot again, they have a cross in from the right wing and get a head on it in the box and force a decent save from Wollacott, only for the flag to go up for offside anyway. Barker breaks up another attack and goes to start down the wing only to be pulled back and for Wigan to pick up another booking. He is in action again as a free kick from the left, thirty yards out is whipped into the box and his headed clearance clears the KRL Logistics stand for ball loss two of the day and a corner. Which he meets again for another corner, this one only just failing to clear the stand as well.

We do have an attack, going down the right, the ball is played back to Barker, and he puts a deep cross in and Forster meets it on the far side of the six-yard box, but his header is just wide.

It is substitution time, Showumni and Max Anderson go off, to be replaced by Tyreese John-Jules and Armando Junior Quitirna. But it doesn’t stop the Wigan attacks, another one down the right, the winger cuts in and his curling shot is saved down low by Wollacott, but again the rebound is bundled in. Breathe, the flag is up for an offside and it doesn’t count, we are still level.

Attacking, RHM is chopped down in their half, would have been the last man too, but the ref waves play on. Five seconds later AJQ tackles one of their players in the centre circle, they get a free kick and AJQ gets a booking for his first real involvement in the game. Ball three of the day disappears over the west stand, from an almighty hoof from Dion Conroy.

The throw comes into the box, bounces around, there is a shot, and it is saved, and goes for a corner. That comes in and there is another shot and save, and the ball is cleared. Doyle picks up the ball in the centre circle and runs, and runs, and runs some more, beats a couple of players, and gets into the box, and shoots…….. but last Tuesday’s events are not repeated this week, as the shot is low and saved by the keeper.

Wigan make a substitution, but the announcer had still got a Saturday head on and said, ‘substitution for Wycombe’. A bit late if you ask me. We have a spell of decent possession. Barker pings a cross-field ball to Forster, the ball gets worked back across to the right and is played into AJQ on the corner of the penalty area. He looks to have been taken out, but the ref is having none of it.

And it finally gets to a point where I really can make no sense of my own handwriting, there are three lines in the notebook, and I can’t piece it together. I think it mentions Conroy, but as to what the fuck he was doing I have no clue. My main surprise is given the state of my handwriting normally, and that I’m writing in the dark, with gloves on, this doesn’t happen more often. It ends with Wigan having a shot deflected for a corner. Why wouldn’t it, most other notes said a remarkably similar thing.

We break and AJQ goes down the right, gets into the box and has a shot which gets deflected for a corner, which we take short and waste and Wigan break again and get a shot which goes just wide.

Time for more substitutions, Doyle and RHM head off to be replaced by Ade Adeyemo and Will Swan. Wigan get another corner, it is headed wide, and we make our final substitution with Panutche Camara going off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan. We get a free kick in the attacking half; it is played to TJJ, and his shot is blocked.

The board goes up and there is an announcement. Five added minutes to play. Yes, that is another Wigan corner, it comes in, gets half cleared, it is put back in and Wigan have the ball in the net once again. And once again TAFKAL’s new best friend sticks his flag up for an offside and the scores stay level. But we can’t get out of our own half in the added time, there are more corners, and it is somewhat of a relief to the heartbeat when the final whistle goes, and we escape with a 1–1 draw.

The point sees us edge closer to safety; we are only two points off it now. But a Burton Albion win elsewhere sees them leapfrog over us on goal difference and we drop a place to twenty-second, but we do have a game in hand on Burton.

That was probably our worst performance since the Stockport game, but we toughed it out and took a point instead of a capitulation which may have come earlier in the season. Besides the linesman and his flag this side, Barker and Forster were immense. The chants of ‘there’s only one Charlie Barker’ rang out at the end. I think that is a shame, if we had three or four of him, the same of Forster, and a couple of RHMs then we would be flying.

Matt the drummer has obviously been busy since Saturday as there are three new chants added to the lexicon of the east marquee for the first time this season.

There was no announcement as to the crowd, for the second Tuesday on the trot. Wigan looked to have brought a fair few with them. I’m assuming whoever does the counting can’t do Tuesday nights at the moment. Perhaps it’s the work experience kid and its past their bedtime.

And so, on to the next game, away at Blackpool, which allows for a weekend visiting my mum in Morecambe around the game.

Come on you reds.

Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair

Always one of the hardest decisions when writing these pieces is to try and pick an appropriate song title. I do try (most of the time) to link it to the club we are playing. I had thought of James’s “Sit Down” as something that would be appropriate to sing to the Chairboys if they were losing. Of seeing as they’re from Adams Park, I could have gone for MC Hammer’s “The Addams Family”, only to remember that is a steaming pile of horseshit. So, I’ve gone for the Arctic Monkeys and their 2011 single off their album “Suck It And See”.

And we are back, four days after the great, and hopefully morale boosting win on Tuesday night, 3-1 against Stevenage, it is the second of three home games in eight days, this one being an originally scheduled date between two rearranged fixtures. Just in passing, would it be rude to mention that Rick went home at half time Tuesday night with an ear infection, and that we played a hell of a lot better after he went? If it goes badly today, we should be sending him home again, I think.

Today’s visitors are Wycombe Wanderers, and it is our third game of the season against them, following a narrow 1-0 loss against them in the league back in October at their place, and then a 2-1 loss, again at their place in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy, which is the game where the allegations of Jay Williams smashing up the dressing room and fighting with teammates after it came from. Prior to this season we had been in League Two with them for three seasons, and had a record of two wins, one draw, and three defeats against them. And before that in our non-league years, as pointed out by Mick Fox in the – as ever – excellent most recent edition of Retro Reds, we had played them in the FA Trophy back in 1986 (a loss), and in pre-season friendlies in 2000 and 2001.

Wycombe were new to the league in 1993, and so there are no Topps cards from the seventies, or A&BC cards from before that, and they came up a couple of years too late to even be included in the Proset series of the early nineties. Plus, the only year Match Attax did Championship cards, was a year between two of their yo-yo seasons in that division, so nothing to share this time around.

They sit second in the league, in the automatic promotion spots, and beating off some of the much more fancied teams for promotion so far. So, this may be a much tougher proposition than the Tuesday night game against Stevenage was.

In their ranks they have a couple of former Crawley players, with Sonny Bradley, who played for us for the 2014-15 and 2015-16 seasons, and Beryly Lubala who played for us in 2019-20 having lined up for them this season.

We have three random extra supporters at today’s game, all three used to have the misfortune to have me as a boss at some point in their lives. Two of them have come down a couple of levels as are Villa and Man U fans, the other has come up as he is a Lewes fan.

Wycombe are in their light and blue quartered shirts, with dark blue shorts and socks, and Crawley are in the usual all red home kit. Not that I can tell from any of the photos, as I’ve gone for a black and white feel today.

Meanwhile, Grant is still loving his pitch side access and has been doing some great fan face in the crowd collections.

And he managed to get one of me with about twenty chins.

Wycombe start with the first attack and get a shot on target which JoJo Wollacott gets down well to save at the near post for a corner. It is shaping up to be one of those games already, Rushian Hepburn-Murphy is dragged down whilst attacking and nothing is given. If this is how its going to go it will be a hard afternoon for him as their two centre back have about a foot height advantage over him and are both built like brick shithouses.

We attack more directly than perhaps we are used to seeing so far this season, a long ball out of defence is flicked on by Will Swan to Max Anderson, who plays it back to Swan on the edge of the area, and he hits it first time with the outside of his foot and it curls beautifully around the keeper and into the far corner of the net and we lead 1-0. (Not that a quality finish like that will stop Nobby moaning. I had a character called Nobby in my first book as the main protagonist, and he was a right effing nincompoop as well.)

Wycombe get a corner at the other end, it is swing into the box and headed to the top corner, but somehow Wollacott gets across to it and scoops it away. What a save that is. Wow, save of the season by a street for us so far, I think. The pressure is coming from Wycombe. They have a couple of corners, which we manage to sneak away. And then Wycombe get their first throw down on the east marquee side, which means the TAFKAL gets to yell ‘get on with it’ for the first time today. It isn’t the last. What amuses me most is he adds the player’s name to the shout in the first half when it is Harvie, but there is no player name added in the second half when it is Skupa.

It did feel as if it was coming. Wycombe play around us and down the right wing and get a cross into the box and it is turned in for the equaliser it felt was coming and we are all level at 1-1.

But we pick up a bit after that. Tyreese John-Jules gets absolutely flattened on halfway with one of the brick shithouses having no intention of going for the header, just to flatten him. Bradley Ibrahim is quickly on the scene and pushes the defender over, but that gets missed, the Wycombe player picks up a booking as Ibrahim casually wanders over to the bench to get out of the spotlight.

Not long after play restarts, Ben Radcliffe is fouled on the edge of the area, and the other brick shithouse is straight over the top of him screaming in his face like the cunt he obviously is. TJJ takes the free kick and hits the wall. Wycombe break and get a corner, it is cleared and RHM shrugs off a challenge in midfield and the Wycombe player goes down like an extra from Platoon. Another defender hack RHM down in revenge, but all we get is a throw in.

A couple of minutes later on the other side of the pitch there is a long throw from Charlie Barker, it is headed back out and Barker plays the ball back into the box and Kamari Doyle gets a header in which is easily saved. Swan pressures the full back, forcing him back towards the goal line and forces a corner. It is crossed in, and Wycombe get a free kick for a high boot. Two feet off the ground as the defender dived in to head it.

The ball is played down the left and Harry Forster beats a man and gets to the byline, but it is deflected out for a corner. We keep it and pass it around; Doyle rolls it across the edge of the area to Anderson and his shot is blocked. Back in midfield Doyle attempts a clearance over his head, only for the ball to clear the west stand for the only ball loss of the day.

There are two added minutes at the end of the half, and that gets extended as there is a clash of heads between Barker and a Wycombe attacker. Back on the edge of the Wycombe box one of the brick shithouses goes straight through the back of Forster again and has got to be walking a tightrope as he already has the booking for the TJJ foul earlier. The free kick is played into the box and bounces around, with us unable to get a shot off before the half time whistle is blown with the score 1-1.

I briefly switch to colour mode to bring in the hangman’s structure with what appears to be a bloody head hanging from it at the back of the TV gantry on top of the KRL Logistics stand. I haven’t seen it there before. Is it a deterrent for any future breaches of the club’s code of conduct?

We make a substitution at half time with goal scorer Swan being replaced by our latest new signing, Canadien international Liam Fraser.

The second half starts with us having the first attack, down the left wing, and the ball is played to Anderson has a shot which is saved. At the other end we nearly commit hari-kari, as Wollacott plays the ball straight out to a Wycombe player thirty yards out. We are saved by what appears to be a last-ditch sliding tackle from Dion Conroy. I’m unable to verify that though, as it’s not a sentence I’ve ever had to write before.

We attack again and ball is played through from Anderson to RHM and his shot in the box goes just wide. Then Ibrahim picks up a booking. The ref is pointing all over the pitch as he does it, so suggesting totting up, but it is just as likely it is from him moaning constantly about the lack of yellows being shown to Wycombe players for their constant cynical fouling. Either way it is our free kick, but it is also booking number ten of the season for Ibrahim which means a two-game ban.

The free kick finds its way through the RHM, and his shot is palmed away by the keeper. We attack down the right and the ball comes over from TJJ to RHM and his shot is just tipped away round the post for a corner.

At the other end Wycombe get a corner, we clear and RHM is racing through midfield and gets hauled back in the centre circle, the ref plays advantage as we still have the ball, but when the play finally comes to a halt there is no forthcoming booking for the pull back.

Wycombe have a couple of attacks, a ball down the left sees a cross come across the six yard box and fortunately there is no one there to get on the end of it. They get a free kick on the left, it comes in and is defended initially, and the follow-up shot is blocked.

RHM is held again in midfield and when play does stop there is a booking this time. Not for a Wycombe player of course, but for someone on the Crawley bench for something they said. Which is likely to be something along the same lines as what TAFKAL is shouting behind us, and not very complimentary.

We do get a free kick about thirty-five yards out just to the right, but it is wasted. In a break in play the crowd is announced as being 4,330, but there is no mention of how many of them are away fans (it was said Wycombe had sold 900 tickets) as the announcer is far too busy banging on about sponsors’ Slim Chickens and some shitty deal they have on.

We make a substitution, with Anderson, who has run himself into the ground in a very good all-round performance, makes way for Ade Adeyemo. Almost straight after that Conroy goes down injured in the box and has some treatment. Finally, and about eighty minutes later than it should have been, there is a booking for one of the Wycombe players hacking down Forster again.

Two more substitutions follow, TJJ and Doyle go off to be replaced by Tola Showumni and Armando Junior Quitirna. A corner to Wycombe follows, before out last substitution with RHM going off to be replaced by Rory Feely, who is hopefully less touchy than his last appearance which saw him sent off.

There are four added minutes, and another Wycombe cross comes over from the left and whistles along the edge of the six-yard box with no one in the area before trundling out for a throw on the near side. And we can all breath again.

The full-time whistle goes with the final score 1-1, and a thoroughly deserved point for us against the second placed side in the table. The neutrals who were with me watching would have been hard pushed to say which of the teams were the ones in the automatic promotion spots.

The point sees us climb a place to twenty-first, still inside the relegation spots, and still three points from safety after Peterborough drew, and with a couple of teams above them winning, it still wasn’t a great day results wise.

Post match curry was good, and some shocking displays of shuffleboard and darts were attempted before I got back to finish writing this up.

On to Tuesday night and the third game of the home match triple header with the visit of Wigan Athletic.

Come on you reds.

That Dangerous Age

Paul Weller in solo action with his single from his 2012 album ‘Sonik Kicks’. I was thinking of anything with ‘age’ in the title, and as our current form and league position are dangerous then this is appropriate.

We are back to home action ten days after the bitter last second loss to Wrexham, after which PGMOL stated their winning goal shouldn’t have stood (which is no fucking use to us now). There was some late transfer action, but nowhere near enough to satisfy most of the support. Rafiq Khaleel has been sold to Dagenham and Redbridge. Armando Junior Quitirna’s move to Argentina didn’t happen. Jack Roles went out on loan to Gateshead. And Liam Fraser, Canadian international was signed. He hasn’t played any football for the last six months after being released by Dallas at the end of the 23-24 MLS season, having been injured, so how quickly he’ll be in any fit state to play is anyone’s guess.

The fans forum event is still having fall out, as the club is now trying to identify and ban the ‘supporter’ at the event who was antisemitically abusing one of the owners.

And unable to keep out of the news the club is being sued under the 2015 Modern Slavery Act in regard to a former kitman, with the club issuing a statement refuting all the allegations.

The results of the CTSA survey came out, and were somewhat surprising to me, with 60% going for WAGMI to sell. I really don’t know where they are going to find a buyer from if that were to be the case. I don’t know how many members the CTSA has, but the survey was based on 274 responses, which is less than 10% of the average home crowd, so just how representative is it?

Fuck Sky Sports have rearranged the Reading game to show live on the eight of March and it will be a 12:30 kick off. Bunch of cunts. It’s the second time they have made our games against Reading a 12:30 kick-off as the corresponding away fixture back in October was also moved to that slot. And it means I will miss at least the first half as I will be at a WORDfest event (as I’m organising that one).

Then there was last Saturday’s ultimately disappointing defeat against Bolton, where a 3-1 lead was thrown away (again), with a whole host of familiar shit storm contributing factors to it. Unusual refereeing decisions, an inability to defend, impetus changing substitutions, shooting ourselves in the foot (a sending off), and some new ones, such as trying to add the dark arts and timewasting to the mix only for it to blow up in our faces with there being twelve minutes of added time, and nearly ten minutes in we are undone by an unfortunate deflection from a cross and the winner to make it 4-3 is an own goal from Charlie Barker (not Baker as the inept EFL programme stated).

In the aftermath of the game there were further issues for the cub, as the RSPCA have been in touch and told them they can’t own a dog as they are unable to hold on to a lead. (it being the fourth time we’ve had a lead and not won – two draws and two defeats). It is also the sixth time this season we’ve scored three goals (or more) in a game and not won. A colander has less holes in it than our defence.

Mentioning the own goal, I was amused to read that Gillingham’s January goal of the month winner was Doug Tharne, who plays for Grimsby. The Gills only got two goals last month, both of which were own goals.

It is back to home action today with the visit of Stevenage, the last of the other teams we have played this season as the game is a rearranged one after the original date in December saw the game postponed due to high winds, with trees down on the A23 and danger of the east marquee taking off in the direction of Horsham. Stevenage weren’t a league club back in the twentieth century (having only gained league status the season before Crawley), so there is nothing resembling a football card for them. Our record against them isn’t brilliant, in the league we have won five, drawn six and lost nine against Stevenage, at home it’s three wins, three draws and four losses, and in League One, it’s a win, a loss and two draws, with both the draws being at home. We also played against them for six seasons in the Conference, where our record against them wasn’t great either with only three wins, one draw, and eight losses, plus a loss in the Conference Cup.

With the weekend defeat leaving us in twenty-third in the table as all the teams around us picked up points, we are now six points from safety, seven in effect due to our goal difference. Meanwhile Stevenage are in twelfth, some sixteen points ahead of is. With this being a game in hand on the teams around us (and one of two compared to some), we really need to be closing both of those gaps with a win tonight. After all, they are the joint lowest scorers in the division, but they do have one of the top five defences – something we need to magically pluck out of our asses for the rest of the season.

It is last minute dot com when we get there, just get to my seat as the players are coming out. Stevenage are in a deep purple shade for shirts and shorts, with black socks, and we are all in red. Grant is off photographing again.

We start on the front foot and win a free kick thirty-five yards out, which Rushian Hepburn-Murphy takes and puts over. Glen (the artist formerly known as Lockets) is in fine voice early on, encouraging the Stevenage players to get a move on with the throw ins.

Stevenage attack and get a couple of shots off which are blocked, before there is an offside flag raised. The kick out is played straight back in and they got a shot off which JoJo Wollacott saves at the expense of a corner. We break down the right, the ball is played into RHM in the box, and there are claims for a penalty as he appears to have his legs swept from under him but play carries on and Stevenage get a goal kick.

Their number twenty-two has three fouls in quick succession and gets a warning from the referee. Bradley Ibrahim picks up a booking for his first (and innocuous looking) challenge. Harry Forster is dragged down, but nothing given. We work it well from the back, Ibrahim to Will Swan, and across to Forster, and his curling shot is tipped away from the top corner for a corner.

Stevenage come up the other end and get a corner of their own. It is cleared and then ball one is hoofed over the east marquee by Wollacott. Stevenage get a free kick thirty yards out, that is forced behind for a corner, and then another one, and a shot hits the side netting. The lino on our side puts up a flag for offside despite our player being in his own half when the ball was played. TAFKAL is offering lots of advice on the subject.

We attack quickly, and Swan has two attempts at playing a ball into the box, the second one finds Ibrahim, and his shot curls away from the keeper and wide. Swan is taken out on halfway, and advantage is played, Tola Showumni puts RHM through, and he clips it over the keeper, but it drifts just wide. We are nearly through again, this time Panutche Camara plays it through to RHM, but his first touch is just too heavy, and the keeper manages to collect the ball first.

Ball two is lost over the side of the Eden Utilities Stand to a clearance from Dion Conroy. There is one added minute at the end of the half, and it is enough time for Stevenage to get a corner and a shot from it is saved by Wollacott before the whistle goes for half time with the score 0-0.

I think poor old Reggie must have some kind of eating disorder, as he appears to have put all the weight he’s lost by the Wrexham game back on. Looks like he’s a victim of yo-yo dieting.

Into the second half and there is an early break down the right wing, RHM plays the ball past the defender and goes to beat him for speed, but the defender can’t be arsed with a footrace and blatantly body checks him instead and picks up a booking.

A ball is played down the left to Ibrahim, and he plays it to Swan, who puts it back to Max Anderson, who slides it into Camara, who slips as he takes a shot, and it is blocked. The ball comes to Forster, and he rifles it in from the edge of the area and we lead 1-0.

And switch off. A Stevenage defender is invited to run half the length of the pitch before having a shot from twenty yards which Wollacott pushes over the bar for a corner. Which is swung into the back post and is headed back across the keeper and into the corner and it’s back to being all level, 1-1, in no time at all.

Forster is pulled back in midfield and the Stevenage number twenty-two finally picks up his long overdue booking. Conroy takes the resulting free kick from thirty-five yards out and it is pushed around the post by the keeper for a corner. At the other end another Stevenage corner is half cleared and then pumped back in deep beyond the back post, it is headed back and hits a Crawley defender, and the Stevenage players and the fans behind the goal are claiming a handball, but nothing is given. We may have finally had a refereeing decision go our way. Which makes one for the season. They do get a corner thought, which is cleared, put back in again, only for the offside flag to go up.

And here come the substitutions. Camara and Showumni are off and being replaced by Kamari Doyle and Tyreese John-Jules. Forster is taken out on the left wing again and it sees another booking for Stevenage, and one for their bench for moaning about it. Ibrahim takes the free kick, which is easily cleared, and the Stevenage break is stopped by Forster who appears to be everywhere at the moment.

We play the ball out and Ibrahim plays it to Swan, it is a bit long, but Swan retrieves it and plays it back to Ibrahim, his shot is saved, as is the follow up from TJJ. At the other end, a long nothing ball into the back of the box sees a Stevenage player get a head on it and the looping header lands on top of the bar, which would really have been a goal out of nothing and against the run of play.

But we are getting more pressure, Ibrahim is behind another couple of chances, with RHM having a shot blocked, and then a minute later another shot from him goes just wide. A long throw from Charlie Barker gets to the edge of the area and Ibrahim is fouled. TJJ takes the resulting free kick and hits the wall, and his follow up cross is headed wide by Barker.

There is another substitution with Swan going off to be replaced by Armando Junior Quitirna. Another long Barker throw drops to RHM in the box and his shot goes out over the Eden Utilities stand for ball loss three of the game.

There is decent work down the left and the ball is crossed in, and we have our own shouts for a handball in the box, and as for Stevenage earlier, nothing is given. Well, apart from a yellow card to Rob Elliot a minute or so later for moaning about that decision. Down the left there is a cross and an attempted shot is blocked, and the ball goes out to Barker who piledrives a shot in from thirty-five yards and poleaxes a Stevenage defender as it hits him on the head.

A clearance from defence sees RHM skin the defender for pace and drive into the box, he tries to put it over the keeper only for it to be saved, but it bounces across for AJQ to follow up and slot in and we lead again 2-1.

JUST FUCKING CONCENTRATE NOW.

Ibrahim is chopped down and it brings up another Stevenage booking. The board goes up for five added minutes at the end of the game. Some great touches from AJQ down the right and he plays it infield to Ibrahim, who releases RHM into the box again, and his attempted chip over the keeper drifts just wide. Again.

A ball is won in midfield and falls to Doyle, and he runs with the ball, and runs, and runs a bit more, and then having gone past a couple of players has a shot from the edge of the box, which flies into the top corner to make it 3-1. A challenger for goal of the season which we thought Ibrahim had sewn up after the last home game.

Get the fuck in there.

A couple more substitutions are made with RHM and Anderson going off to be replaced by Ade Adeyemo and Gavan Holohan (which as he is on the pitch does prove he is not just a hologram). After about seven minutes the referee eventually blows the final whistle, and it is full time, and we have won 3-1.

So, we don’t have to hear ‘Boys Don’t Cry’, instead we are treated to the twelve-inch version of Abba’s ‘Voulez-Vous’, which is different. The attendance wasn’t announced, but it didn’t look that busy.

The result sees us go up one place to twenty-second in the league, but we are only three points off safety (plus the goal difference), as Peterborough lost tonight. We have a game in hand on them, and on Shrewsbury Town who drew this evening and are ahead of us on goal difference.

We go again on Saturday, with the visit of high-flying Wycombe Wanderers. More of the same as today please.

Come on you reds.

The Final Countdown

Some mid-eighties soft rock, a 1986 number one from the band Europe (not the continent). Which is somewhere (the continent, not the band) Wrexham won’t be in the foreseeable future after the Welsh FA’s attempt to have the five Welsh clubs in the English league pyramid enter the Welsh Cup and get European Football if they won (something which the Welsh FA hoped would then help their coefficient) was torpedoed by the English FA. Which means it may well be quite a few years before we see any Europe tour (the continent, not the band – well, hopefully not the band on tour either) on Welcome To Wrexham.

A lot can go on in a fortnight. I’ve been for a week away in Spain, only getting back late last night. But since leaving the country a week after the disappointing 1-1 draw at home to the then bottom of the table Burton Albion, and the fall out which came after it from the Carol Bates saga, I honestly wasn’t expecting much to happen, and that what did, wouldn’t be good.

Stockport County away last Saturday delivered a 2-0 defeat, with us lucky to get nil, and us lucky to only concede the two goals. The only upside to the depressing live updates was the sunshine and spectacular scenery out of the window of the train as we travelled from Malaga to Granada. Other results saw us drop in the table, a Burton win, a Cambridge United win, and what looked like a Shrewsbury Town draw saw us bottom of the table on goal difference with all four sides on twenty-one points, only to be saved by Charlton Athletic getting a ninety-sixth minute winner against Shrewsbury to keep us off the bottom, but it was a fall to twenty-third.

There was then an announcement of an open forum to take place on the Thursday night, which was almost six months to the day from the last one and so meets the twice a year requirements. Prior to it there was a lot of moaning about it being an in-person session only with no online questions. But there again a fair few of our supporters would moan about absolutely anything.

After the Stockport game someone woke up in the club’s transfer department. We picked up attacking midfielder Kamari Doyle on loan for the rest of the season from Brighton & Hove Albion, he had been playing Exeter City for the first half of the season. Then Matthew Cox came in on loan from Brentford to bolster the goalkeeping position, and we signed Rory Feely from Barrow as another defender.

Tuesday night saw a second away game in three days, this time at Mansfield Town. It wasn’t as good as the spectacular 4-1 victory away there in April last year, but a 1-0 win with a late winner from Ade Adeyemo, and an even later goal line clearance from Charlie Barker was a boost and saw us climb back up a place to twenty-second in the league as both Cambridge and Shrewsbury lost, but Burton won again and stay ahead of us on goal difference. But the gap to safety is now only three points again, and we have at least one game in hand on all of the teams within reach above us in the table.

And speaking of games in hand, the one against Charlton which was postponed way too late for anyone sensible on New Year’s Day, has been rearranged for a Tuesday night in the middle of March.

On Wednesday X kicked off more transfer rumours. First, that Ronan Darcy had signed for Wigan Athletic, something which was confirmed late on Thursday just before the forum started. There was also a rumour we had signed nineteen-year-old striker Josh Ayres from Rotherham United, but there has been nothing further on that one as yet.

Thursday saw the forum taking place with only Preston Johnson on hand from the club to answer questions. There was some real embarrassment from the live streamed question and answer session. But that is what our supporters are like. Toe curlingly bad cringe inducers.

And the survey was mentioned. The club had released a Q&A on it on the club’s website. Which explained it was put together by a “professional” company called The Deep. That may explain the superhero question then, as the first thought is of the character called The Deep from the TV series, “The Boys”. That character is completely barking mad, but even he would have produced a more measured set of questions. My final moan about the survey is the club have said that it is an anonymous survey. Yet, at the same time the original blurb said prizes would be available for randoms completing the survey. These are mutually exclusive statements. So, which one is the lie? (Or are they both lies?)

And the transfer rumours continued. Armando Junior Quitirna is in Argentina apparently doing a deal to sign for a club there, not a good sign, as a player would be hard pushed to find a club further away from Crawley if they tried. And Sonny Fish is off on loan to Solihull Moors for the rest of the season.

No matter where we go there is no getting away from reminders of Crawley Town. Wandering the back streets of Sevilla, and in a shop window is a tote bag of The Cure – “Boys Don’t Cry”. Shit, have we lost again, and I didn’t even realise we were playing?

Saturday morning sees the first gathering of the newly formed Devil’s Advocates, which Helen is part of. Apparently, there is no getting away from white middle-aged men who like to talk over the top of women and laugh when they are introducing themselves. Aside from that, she thought it was a positive session, and that Ben Levin was supportive in it.

Anyway, onto the action today. In town are Hollywood FC, the third game in a run which sees us play all the other three promoted clubs from League Two last season in the space of eight days. Someone was having fun with the fixture computer.

Wrexham are in third but aren’t on a great run and are in danger of losing touch with the top two and went out and spent a lot of money on a couple of players yesterday, which will not make our afternoon any easier for us.

It was Wrexham who first triggered my memory about old football cards, with their old striker Arfon Griffiths on the Topps 1976 card being to blame for the ongoing use of them in each of these pieces for the last few months.

In the league, we have lost all three of our games against Wrexham, but digging back and including National League games our record against them is won four, lost four, and drawn one. Keeping that record at level or above would be a great result for us.

Getting to the ground early there is plenty of buzz around, and finally as we hit February, there are now new woolly hats available in a couple of varieties. They aren’t likely to fall off in a strong breeze. A bit tight around the head is an understatement, it may well be cutting off the blood flow to my brain. Which will be my excuse for anything I write today.

Jeez, what a difference two weeks does make. Reggie has been on a diet and a half. I though I’d done well over the last year, but I need to go and have a word to get some further diet tips.

Meanwhile, after his stunning photo of Charlie Barker in action at the Burton game two weeks ago,

Grant has now got official EFL accreditation to do media work at the club (and at Brighton), and is pitch side fully kitted out, taking photos today.

Wrexham are in a kind of gone off mustard looking shirt and socks with black shorts. Someone has said to me they were supposed to be gold. Yeah, they wish. Crawley are in all red.

Not even two minutes gone. Wrexham attack down the right wing, and Will Swan stops claiming the ball has gone out for a throw, the linesman doesn’t agree, and the ball is crossed over, passed on and then stroked into the net and we trail very early doors 0-1. And almost immediately Wrexham are through on goal again with a quick break, a ball into the box and Matthew Cox saves well as the defenders are looking for an offside flag to be raised. It is a sluggish start, and for fuck’s sake, play to the whistle lads.

Ball one disappears, a headed clearance from a cross goes out over the Eden Utilities Stand for a corner, which is cleared.

After the initial headless chicken routine, the team settle down and get a spell of decent possession. They work it down the right wing before Harry Forster rolls it back to Ben Radcliffe who pumps a ball to the far post where Swan meets it, but the header is high and wide, and not very handsome. The next attack sees ball loss number two of the game as a clearance from a cross disappears through the gap between the east marquee and the KRL Logistics stand for a corner.

We are definitely coming into the game more, and again there is decent work down the right. Panutche Camara plays the ball back to Bradley Ibrahim, who slots it into the box to Tyreese John-Jules, but his shot is just over the bar. Then down the left, Swan crosses it over to the right to Forster who cuts inside and plays it to Ibrahim who curls a shot on target, but it is saved by the keeper. Wrexham break and have a shot saved by Cox.

It took half an hour for it to happen, but then Lockets did get involved with some predictable advice to the linesman. But once awake, he is in fine voice for the rest of the match.

Wrexham have the ball in the net again, but Cox had slid out and collected the ball only for a Wrexham striker to kick him in the head, the ball came loose, and another striker put it in. Somewhat remarkably the referee did give us a free kick, but inexplicably, it would appear that kicking the keeper in the head deliberately doesn’t warrant a yellow card.

From a Wrexham corner we break down the left, the ball is played across to the right and Radcliffe pumps another ball into the box, Swan is being held by what appears to be an octopus, and the ball bounces to Camara and his shot is deflected for a corner. It is played short and then worked into the box and Swan’s effort is deflected for another corner. That goes all the way across and out for a throw to us. Charlie Barker throws it long and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy and Camara both have shots blocked on the edge of the area.

At the other end Camara picks up a booking for a foul about thirty yards out from goal, which is much less of a foul than some of the thuggery which has gone unpunished from the Wrexham players. The free kick gets put behind for a corner, which happens in four added minutes at the end of the first half, for which no board went up, and three quarters of the ground would have no clue about because the tannoy system was only working in the west stand, and we only get snippets of faint mumbles when the wind is in the right direction.

The second half starts much better than the first half did, two minutes in and we haven’t conceded. A dangerous looking break down the left is brought to a crashing halt as RHM is hacked down, and the referee surprises everyone by giving the butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth Wrexham defender a yellow card for the challenge. A ball in from the left finds RHM and his shot is blocked, and so is Max Anderson’s follow up effort.

Here come the first of the substitutions. TTJ and Camara are off with Tola Showumni and Jeremy Kelly on to replace them. The next action of any sort is Wrexham winning a corner. There is a lot of pushing and shoving in the box and the referee has words a couple of times. And despite what has so often gone before, we make another substitution before it is taken with Forster being replaced by Ade Adeyemo. The corner leads to another, which goes straight out for a goal kick.

We attack down the right and Adeyemo wins a corner which leads to nothing. Only for us to break down the right again, the ball is played all the way over to the left and Swan passes it across to Anderson, and then onto Kelly and his shot goes just over. We win the ball in midfield and Ibrahim surges forward to the edge of the box and shoots, but it is deflected and goes for a corner. Barker wins the header in the box, but it goes high and wide. Both Swan and RHM win corners in quick succession on the left, but the second just skims off a head and goes for a goal kick.

The last substitutions for us come on with Swan and Anderson being replaced by recent signings Kamari Doyle and Rory Feely. Another attack sees a bit of pinball in the area and a header from RHM is saved. RHM is then tripped in the area and Stevie Reffing Wonder waves it away from two yards in front of him.

It looks suspiciously like there might have been a fire drill in the east marquee as there seem to be hundreds of fans streaming out before the end of normal time. Seriously, where the fuck are you all going?

There is a long ball forward and Showumni goes up for the header on the edge of the box but is beaten to it, however it comes down to Ibrahim and he shoots from twenty-five yards out and it dips into the top corner to make it 1-1. Probably the best goal we have scored all season. And all you streaky bastards who left early missed it.

As they restart the board goes up to say there are five added minutes to play. And with most of them gone, Wrexham play a long ball left to right, a cross comes in deep and is headed at the far post and it may have got another touch but it squirms in from Elliott Lee who fouled Kelly in the build up without anything being given, and the goal stands to make it 1-2.

And that’s it, no sooner do we kick off than the referee blows the final whistle and pockets his bonus. Rob Elliot is less than impressed and marches over to give the referee a mouthful at the end. It is a loss, and definitely not deserved. Don’t let the shitty match stats fool you. Their keeper made two saves, so to say we only had one shot on target is bullshit. And the stat that says their keeper made no saves is then shown to be a lie by the line underneath which says he made one diving save. The number of blocked shots they show for us is a joke, as if trying to show we did worse than we actually did. Granted we still pass it around at the back too much and don’t move it forward quick enough, often enough, but we created plenty of chances. Let’s keep that going.

We stay in twenty-second, but everyone else who played around us today picked up points, and the two teams that didn’t play each other tomorrow. So not the greatest afternoon from a league perspective, but there are real positives to take from the game, and more overall performances like this, and some decent deadline day transfer action in (definitely not out) would give us a real opportunity of staying up.

The crowd may have been announced, but unless you were in the west stand you had no hope of hearing it, but apparently it was 5,049 with 949 away fans. And for a supposed sell-out, there were still a lot of empty seats around us in the marquee.

Next up is Bolton Wanderers away next Saturday before a run of three home games in eight days. The hunt for points is on.

Come on you reds.

A Pub With No Beer

Going all the way back to 1957 for this worldwide hit by Australian Slim Dusty. After all we are playing the Brewers, and it probably sums up the feelings of both sets of fans on how their seasons have gone so far.

Speaking of 1957, it feels as if it has been that long since I was last at a game. That game being the rollercoaster events of the crazy 4-4 draw away at Exeter City in late December, which felt more like a defeat after being 4-1 up at half time and was all the more maddening as we were screwed over by more piss-poor officiating. It was the fourth time this season we had scored three goals or more in a match and not won.

Then there was the New Year’s Day debacle where the same useless ref we had away at Bristol Rovers ummed and ahhed about calling the game against Charlton Athletic off for what seemed like hours, finally only calling it off twelve minutes before it was due to kick off. With further pitch inspections being called seemingly all day, we had left it as late as possible to leave the house only to set off with it still in the air but making sure we were there before kick off if it did start, only to get most of the way down Wakehurst Drive before it was called off.

I didn’t make the trip up to the wastelands of South Yorkshire for the Barnsley game. And for the second time this season they steamrolled us for a 3-0 win. Then last week we didn’t have a game as Wigan Athletic were still in the FA Cup, so this is my first, and as it will turn out, only game in January, with us being in Spain when the away games against Stockport County and Mansfield Town are taking place.

In the meantime, we have let two of our loan signings, Cameron Bragg and Eddie Beach, return to their parent clubs, and the saga of Jay Williams has ended up with him unsurprisingly leaving to join up with Scott Lindsey at MK Dons. Coming the other way, we have recalled Antony Papadopoulos from his (quite successful) loan spell at Maidstone United, and have signed Ben Radcliffe from Derby County, although he had been on loan at manager Rob Elliot’s former side, Gateshead.

Eddie Beach going back to Chelsea does leave us with only the one goalkeeper in the squad. There was a rumour of Hull City’s Thimothee Lo-Tutala joining us on loan until the end of the season, but that seems to have disappeared into the ether.

And talking of disappearing into the ether, it has been announced that the monthly Reds magazine is no more, after four issues the club have pulled the plug on it. and so, we go back to being completely programme less. Helen has now heard back about the Devil’s Advocate scheme, and their first meeting will be the weekend of the Wrexham home game.

Two of the three postponed games have now been given new dates, with the Stevenage and Wigan games coming on consecutive Tuesday nights in February, sandwiching the Saturday home game against Wycombe Wanderers, giving us three home games in eight days. We still await a new date for the Charlton game.

The lack of games, and the less than great results in the ones we have played sees us go into today’s game in twenty-second in the table, behind Shrewsbury Town on goal difference after they beat Wrexham on Thursday night, and five points off safety, although we do have at least one game in hand on the four sides immediately above us in the table. We are two places and six points above our opponents today, Burton Albion, who sit rock bottom of the table.

When we played them earlier in the season on Bonfire Night, there weren’t any fireworks as it finished in a drab 0-0, where both sides were lucky to get nil. Our only previous league games against them were back in out first season in the league, where we also drew 0-0 away from home, but we did beat them 3-0 in the home fixture. What we wouldn’t give for a similar result today. There is also history of playing them in the Southern League and Conference over the years, spending twenty-five seasons in the same division as them between 1963 and 2009. As a team who were only promoted to the league two years before we were, they are another of the teams for who I can’t find any football cards for.

Burton rock up with Danilo Orsi, our star striker from last season leading the line. Let’s hope he doesn’t add to his impressive tally of goals at the Broadfield Stadium. On our side we have Jack Roles who played a couple of games for Burton on loan five years ago, and new signing Ben Radcliffe started his senior career there playing just the one game for them.

So, after a twenty-six-day break since the last home game it is back to the Broadfield Stadium today. Only to be met by nincompoops wearing Crawley Town, shirts, hats, and scarfs at the top of the walk in from the underpass, trying to sign people up to the Reform Party. Deliberately stood on the other side of the road from the site of the ground, but political scumbags from any party shouldn’t be allowed to be peddling their bullshit whilst wearing club colours.

After an even longer lay off, Reggie is back. I’m not sure he’s going to be up for any acrobatics, as it does look like he’s spent the last six months leading a very sedentary lifestyle. At least the team news has a positive, Jasper Sheik is on the bench, so we do have two active keepers, but it must have been a stealth recall from loan as there has been no mention of it from the club at all.

Being in the ground early and with some time to kill before kick-off I started doing the club survey. And wish I hadn’t, what an incoherent, meandering, overly long piece of shit, it makes my writing look like well informed bullet points. Why have one scale to rate things by when you can have three different ones. Some out of ten, some out of five, and others out of seven. Out of seven? Seriously? What the fuck? And why the fuck are we comparing the club to a film character, an animal, or a meal? And finally, any survey which takes over twenty minutes to complete is a waste of everyone’s time, both those taking it, and those having to decipher it.

Apparently, the new T Boards are working well and are very nice, but the information on them is out of date. Who would have thought that was possible?

Anyway, the game. Burton Albion are in an all-white kit, and we are in the all red. There is an early Burton corner, and we break from it, the Burton defender has Will Swan in a headlock, but there is no free kick. We get the ball into the box and have lots of touches in there, but it just won’t fall for anyone to try and get a shot away and it is cleared.

Lockets has his first bellow at the linesman, and the lino does have a giggle at it. I’m sure that feeling wore off the longer the match went on and the more Lockets got into his stride.

We are having a lot of good approach play, the interplay is good, but the final ball just isn’t there. There is the usual complete lack of protection for Tola Showumni. I dread to think what shape his shirt will be by the end, and he gets dragged down and gets nothing. It appears to be a concerted campaign, both from opposition players wanted to swap shirts with him from the first minute, and from the officials who all seem to think it is fine to have open season out on him. We are having a lot of the ball in the Burton half, but it takes a while to register the first shot, and Armando Junior Quitirna cuts in from the right and curls his shot well wide.

On the next attack we attack down the right after decent work from Showumni who plays it to AJQ, who lays it back to Jeremy Kelly, but his shot curls away from goal and goes wide. At the other end Burton have a shot well over the bar from outside the box. We attack again and a ball is played to Showumni on the edge of the box, he is dragged down from behind, but nothing given again. Burton break and their striker looks yards offside, but the flag stays down, we get back only for the striker to miscue their shot, and it dribbles into the net to make it 0-1.

We are back on the attack, having good possession and pressure, the ball comes to Kelly in midfield, and he plays Swan in, and his shot is well saved down low for a corner. It is taken deep and AJQ is dragged down beyond the far post as the ball sails out for a goal kick. There are muted appeals for a penalty. Dion Conroy plays the ball well out of defence, beating two players and he passes to Swan, who moves it on to AJQ and his shot is saved at the expense of a corner. It is played out and eventually comes to Kelly who swings it back in and Swan’s shot is wide.

There are two added minutes at the end of the half, and we almost get a gift. AJQ has the ball down the left and his cross is straight at the keeper, but he drops it and only just drops on it before it rolls over the line. And the half time whistle goes with us trailing 0-1.

At half time Reggie is going around and throwing t-shirts into the crowd. He stops to do one just in front of where we are. He winds up and throws it hard but hits the board at the top of the east marquee and falls in the walkway. It was such a hard throw that Reggie’s shirt comes untucked and shows a flash of white belly.

There is a half time substitution with Toby Mullarkey going off to be replaced by new signing Ben Radcliffe. Who within a couple of minutes manages to give the ball away when attacking and then picks up a yellow card for blocking the attacker off on the counterattack. We have a free kick just inside the Burton half, which Kelly takes long and Showumni gets on the end of it, but his header is well over the bar. We win a corner and as it comes in there is a free kick given against us. There is a lot of pushing and shoving and arguing after it, mainly involving Conroy.

Burton have a bit of pressure, they have a shot that is over the bar. Then they win a corner which we clear before making a second substitution with Max Anderson going off to be replaced by Rushian Hepburn-Murphy. Only for Burton to win another corner. And then for us to attempt Hari Kari as neither Conroy or JoJo Wollacott make a decision as a ball bounces slowly between them in out own half, only for neither of them to get to it and they allow the Burton attacker in first, but thankfully his touch takes it a bit wide and cover gets back for us to clear the ball.

There are two more subs, with Kelly and Swan going off to be replaced by Bradley Ibrahim and Tyreese John-Jules. A clearance from Charlie Barker hits a Burton player and balloons over the west stand for ball loss one of the day. The Burton player then does the dying swan act to waste some more time and Ibrahim picks up a booking for trying to “help” him off the pitch.

We win a throw down near the right corner flag. Barker throws it long into the box, and it bounces around a bit and Showumni gets a flick on it, and it floats over the keeper and into the net and we have equalised 1-1. AJQ appeared to pick up a booking before the restart.

Pretty much straight away we attack down the left, RHM feeds Showumni and his cross is just behind TJJ, but AJQ is following it up, but he skies the shot, and it clears the Eden Utilities Stand for ball loss number two. It is all us now, and another ball into the box sees a shot and the ball ricochets off half a dozen players and body parts and claims for a handball are ignored. As Burton clear Panutche Camara gets a booking for a blatant pull back. RHM gets another shot off, but it is wide, and we make our last substitution with Ade Adeyemo going off to be replaced by a returning Harry Forster.

The ball is in the Burton box again. A Showumni shot is blocked and it goes out to RHM, and his shot is saved and cleared just before it spins out for a corner. Barker is next to pick up a booking. And an absolute joke of one as he clearly won the ball, and it wasn’t a foul. We break down the right and the ball is played to TJJ, but his shot is well over the bar. The ball is worked to Showumni, and the shot is just wide. Then played down the right and switched over to the left to RHM, he cuts inside and shoots, but it is just wide.

There are five added minutes. AJQ wins a free kick for being hacked down on the edge of the area, but there is no sign of any yellow card for a Burton player. AJQ takes, but he blasts it high and wide, and the chance is gone, and the final whistle goes with the score 1-1.

The crowd was announced as being 3,521 with 188 hardy souls making the trip down from Burton, and picking up from some of our away songs repertoire.

A draw does nobody any favours, and it feels like two points dropped rather than a point gained. The point sees us go up a place in the league, jumping back over Shrewsbury Town, but we are still five points off safety as Bristol Rovers won. We really need to be converting more of the plethora of chances we create. Sixteen shots but only four on target tells a story, and the number of times we don’t get a shot off at all is frustrating as hell. And it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season with the apparent lack of transfer activity.

Two away games follow, against fellow promoted clubs from last year Stockport County and Mansfield Town, before the final other promoted club in two weeks’ time as we host Wrexham. All of which are tricky bastards, but we need to get something out of those games.

Come on you reds.

I Wonder Why

I wonder why.

About many things really.

Following on from my previous witterings, why, after a few days of not much activity with the digging up of the pavement, was there suddenly a flurry of activity on a Sunday afternoon to work on filling it in? Is it just the cynic in me thinking that the only likely reason would be because it is a Sunday, the people doing the work would be able to claim double time overtime for it instead of the standard wage for doing it during the week?

Am I as bad at not being self-aware as some other people are? I don’t think my work at anything is brilliant, but at the same time I don’t think it is shockingly awful, but some people make me cringe as they struggle through what I think is really poor stuff, yet they are under the impression Shakespeare has nothing on them.

Why does the cat automatically gravitate to the most awkward or inappropriate place to settle down and pretend to be comfortable. Surely wrapping itself up in amongst all the leads from the computer can’t be comfortable.

Do companies do it on purpose? Do they wait until you are at the point where you are going to give up on them, on their services, on their website, on their app, in their queue, and at the point you are turning round, logging off, hanging up, they are suddenly working, and up in your face, effectively shouting, look at us, we are here, how can we help? Just as the writing group are getting ready to leave Lloyds Bank due to them introducing charges for their community account, they have finally given me a working online log on for them. Only twenty-one months after the account was opened and it was requested from them.

Why is it that the moment you are not around is the exact moment people turn up to do what it is you have been waiting for them to do. It doesn’t matter if you have been waiting minutes, hours, days, or weeks. The moment you let your guard down and go off to do something else will be the time they will be there to do it and they will be moaning because you’ve had the audacity to go and do something else because you got sick of waiting for them.

Was I always this irascible? Or have I used up what my lifetime quota of patience was. Is it natural for everyone and everything to annoy me? Should it be such a struggle for me not to want to scream at people to shut the fuck up or for them to stop being so deliberately stupid. I’m sure life in general used to be more fun than this. Finally, was work always such a crock of shit. On my way back to work (after a less than wonderful writing group session), I found myself desperately disappointed that in the couple of hours I was away that, I hadn’t come into a sudden fortune which would mean never working again, or that the world hadn’t ended. The most worrying thing being that where work is concerned, I don’t appear to be overly bothered which end of the spectrum it is, as long as it means no more work.