Uncategorized – onetruekev

The Less I Know The Better

It’s getting to feel more and more like this every week. So the title this week is from the 2015 Tame Impala album “Currents”. Well, we are playing Shrewsbury, so it’s the closest I’m going to get to the Taming of the Shrew.

First up, quiz time answer – Walsall were one of the founder members of Division Two back in 1892, which other two sides in League Two this season were also founder members? And I gave a hint of we’ve played both of them already. The other two teams were Crewe Alexandra and Grimsby Town.

A week on from the impressive performance but ultimately disappointing draw at home against league leaders Walsall, we are in away action at Shrewsbury Town, the second away game on the trot against a team relegated with us from League One last season (third away game on the trot against teams we played in League One last season if you include the Vertu Trophy game at Leyton Orient). Someone was having fun with the scheduling as we play the other relegated side next week at home.

We have played Shrewsbury eight times in the league, winning two, drawing three, and losing three, of which the four away games have seen two losses, a draw, and a single win, in the final game of last season’s campaign. This is our first League Two encounter with them since our first season in the league. That game last season was one involving two teams for who relegation had already been confirmed. This game is one where both teams are desperately clambering to try and stay out of the relegation zone again.

We go into the game on the same point, and with the same goal difference, and we are only above them based on the fact we have scored one more goal than them so far. We are both one point above the bottom two, who in another quirk of the fixture list are also playing each other, so at least one of them are guaranteed points, a loss today will see us slip into the relegation places. It is a game both teams desperately need to win.

There is no current overlap with players on either side having played for both clubs, but in a link back to last week, Mat Sadler is one player who has played for both sides. Others to have played for both include Scott Shearer, Danny Hall, David Hunt, James Collins, Sullay Kaikai, Tyrone Barnett, Leon Clarke, and Junior Brown.

I had to dig quite deep to find a programme. And the only one I could find is the one from our first game against Shrewsbury back in this week in 2011 (which featured the aforementioned Tyrone Barnett, Scott Shearer, and David Hunt in the squad for us and James Collins in the squad for Shrewsbury).

Back then it wasn’t a case of two teams struggling in the bottom four; instead it was a top four battle.

How many people can find themselves on the page of squad sponsorship.

I’m still pissed off with Shrewsbury lying to me at the club shop on the final day last season when the queue was out the door and down the car park, and they told me programmes were available in the away end, only for there not to be, and I’ve still not been able to get a copy of one for that game.

But I did get a programme today, it’s not bad, more advert heavy than I’d like, but it has four pages on us, and two pages on players to play for both clubs including four of the ones I mentioned earlier.

And speaking of programmes, there was a meeting earlier in the week between a few fans with a view to getting a fan produced match programme up and running later in the season.

It’s back to the 1991-92 Proset for a Shrewsbury Town football card, their only player featured that season was Tom Lynch.

I am beginning to question my sanity in making these trips there and back in a day with over four hours each way, it was dark when I left home and got to Crawley station.

And of course it wouldn’t be a train journey in the UK without dodgy trains and connections. This is not what you want to see when at Euston, and then to get on a slightly later and slower train, it then has an announcement that lines are busy, extra stations are added, and it may run slower than advertised. Connection at the hell spot that is Birmingham New Street will be missed, so not sure what time anyone will be making it to Shrewsbury.

When I came to the game last year we stayed for the weekend and saw Goldie Lookin’ Chain on the Friday night. This time around it was decorating on Friday and train there and back in the same day. I know which one I preferred. It’s the fourth time in the last few years I’ve been to Shrewsbury, and we’ve stayed in the same place every time, and gone back and forth into the town centre, but despite passing it lots of times, I never stopped the car to get a picture of the column to General Rowland Hill, the second tallest Doric column in the world. And with the delays I thought it wasn’t going to happen this time either. But I scuttled there as quickly as my legs would carry me, only to find the bloody thing is under scaffolding. FFS.

But I was at the ground nice and early, I was pretty much the first person everywhere, in the club portacabin shop, no wooden magnets here, just left over stock from previous years at a bargain price of seventy-five pence.

And definitely first in the stands.

I hate that there is no paper ticket. I don’t like the depressing trend of having everything on your phone. You can lose your phone; it can run out of power or just stop working and then you are fucked. There was no choice with the Shrewsbury ticket, I had to download it onto my phone, only for the unmanned entrance gate to refuse to read the fucking QR code. Had to find a real-life person to let me in.

We are in out all white kit with the red trim, whilst Shrewsbury are in blue shirts with yellow sleeves, yellow shorts, and blue socks.

It is a slow start, lots of sideways passing, but Harry McKirdy loses the ball in midfield, and commits a foul, and moans about the decision and nudges the ball away and earns himself a talking to from the referee. The free kick comes to nothing.

A long ball sees the Shrewsbury number nine in behind Dion Conroy, he plays it back to the edge of the area and a shot is well saved by JoJo Wollacott. There is a lot of fannying about at the back as usual and we almost play ourselves into trouble a couple of times and then give a sloppy corner away. It is taken long, headed clear and there are two shots from Shrewsbury blocked on the edge of the area before we clear it.

Wollacott is down injured and needing treatment on the edge of the area, which is never a good sign as, per usual, we don’t have a keeper on the bench of only six substitutes.

Finally we have an attack with a shot at the end of it. Josh Flint gets the ball after a bit of head tennis on the edge of the Shrewsbury box, and his shot takes a deflection and goes out for a corner. That is taken short to the near side of the box and McKirdy has a shot blocked and then cleared. It’s put back in, but the whistle goes and McKirdy is getting another talking to from the ref for something.

At the back a clearance from Charlie Barker is closed down and Shrewsbury ger a cross in, Conroy gets a foot on it as it comes across and force Wollacott to make a decent save to prevent an own goal, it gets played back to the edge of the box and a shot goes well wide.

There are a couple of decent runs down the right from Dion Pereira, where he is beating men and then cutting inside to try and work room for a shot or a cross. I do wonder if it would be an idea for him to switch wings occasionally and beat people on the outside and get a cross in on his favoured left foot.

A nice ball over the top from Flint finds Harry Forster and he puts in a first time cross; it is flicked on by Kabby Tshimanga to McKirdy and his shot drifts wide. Just after McKirdy picks up a booking in midfield for (apparently) a dive. There looked to be contact, but the booking has been coming for him.

Again we have lots of possession, but a ball is cut out in the Shrewsbury half, and they break quickly, and a block tackle from Barker goes for a corner, it goes all the way across the box, with a slight touch on and runs out for a throw on the other side.

We have an attack through the middle, Tshimanga turns his man and lays it across to Ryan Loft, he puts it back over and McKirdy slots home. The celebrations start but the linesman has the flag up for offside. Conroy is down injured in the centre circle. From the restart we win a free kick and there is a yellow card for a Shrewsbury player, which again looked to be for something said rather than the challenge. We get the ball into the box and there are claims for a handball, Loft has a shot, but it is straight at the keeper.

A ball down the right to Pereira sees him cross the ball in, it comes out to Max Anderson, and his shot takes a deflection for a corner. The ref blows for a foul with the ball in the air before it even gets into the middle. (How many times is that so far this season?)

Flint picks up a booking for a challenge on the wing, which looks a bit harsh as he got his toe to the ball first. The free kick is deep; it’s cleared and then put back in and Wollacott collects. There are five added minutes, where not a lot happens, and the half time whistle goes with the score 0-0.

Into the second half and Shrewsbury fans are baying for a penalty almost straight from the kick off. At the other end we have a long throw, it is half cleared, and Pereira puts it back in, but it goes straight to the keeper. There is a lot of battling in midfield and a ball falls to Loft who has a crack but it is easily saved. A good turn from Anderson and his ball falls to Tshimanga in the box, he beats a man but goes wide and his cross / shot goes straight to the keeper.

We lose the ball in midfield and Shrewsbury break and have a shot which deflected just wide for a corner. It comes in and is flicked on, and the offside flag goes up. A long ball up the left see Loft fouled about thirty-five yards out. It comes to the back post and Flint puts it back across and Barker’s shot is blocked. We have a long throw, flicked on by Flint and punched clear back to Barker who heads it back in and Tshimanga has a shot which is blocked and then cleared. Another ball from Loft finds Tshimanga in the box and again he goes a bit wide before the shot, and it hits the side netting.

A couple of minutes before the usual scheduled time and we make a couple of subs with Pereira and Gavan Holohan coming off to be replaced by Louie Watson and Geraldo Bajrami. A ball is cleared down the right and there is a coming together after it and off the pitch involving McKirdy, he picks up a second yellow and the red. It was given by the lino on the other side of the pitch as the ref certainly didn’t see it. We sub Forster off and replace him with Danny Cashman who is returning from injury. There are twenty-five minutes to survive.

Anderson gets a booking for a coming together in midfield. The ball wasn’t even in play, and the Shrewsbury player has gone down like an extra from Platoon. There is a long stoppage for an injury to a Shrewsbury player, and they aren’t even on the pitch. We make another sub; this time Tshimanga goes off and is replaced by Jack Roles.

Shrewsbury are attacking, they have a long throw, it is headed back across the box and put behind for a corner. It’s taken long and half cleared, and the attempt to put it back in sails high into the stand behind the goal. A Shrewsbury player picks up a yellow card for going straight through Flint as he tries to play the ball out from the back.

The extra man is beginning to tell, we are struggling to keep hold of the ball and struggling to get out of our own half, and we concede a corner. I’d no sooner written that in my notebook, and the ball comes in and is headed in from the middle of the six-yard box, and we trail 0-1.

From the back we work the ball into midfield and then across to the left and manage to win a corner. It is half cleared, put back in and we win another. Again half cleared, it’s put back in and goes out for a throw, Flint hurls it in, and it is headed behind for a corner. That is flapped away for a throw on the other side, that is cleared and comes back on the left and Roles is tripped twenty-five yards out.

There are seven added minutes, the free kick was put out for a throw, it is taken long but there is a foul and Shrewsbury get a free kick, they play it long down the right and win a corner. On our next attack Shrewsbury clear and a player is down claiming a head injury. The ref stops play and the physio comes on and treats his leg. Conroy picks up a booking for something said to the ref.

At the other end there is a yellow for a Shrewsbury player for preventing a free kick being taken. It is taken deep, half cleared and put back in, Loft nods it down and Roles has a shot which is just tipped over the bar as it headed into the top corner. As it comes in the ref blows for a foul.

The final whistle goes and we have lost. 0-1. Again. The crowd was announced as being 4,763, with 166 Crawley fans, most of whom were in fine voice all afternoon.

The loss sees us slip into the relegation places. In the game between the bottom two, Cheltenham beat Newport to move above us, and to add salt to the wound, the two teams directly above us at start of play – Accrington and Tranmere, both won and scored four. It was a shit day.

I know a lot of his play can be a bit scrappy, but perhaps we should consider putting Jack Roles up front, he seems to be the only person not scared of taking a shot, and he does get more than his fair share on target, we won’t win by trying to walk the fucking ball in, and we couldn’t do any worse.

Post game it was a rush to get back in time for my booked train. Five added minutes in the first half and then playing ten added in the second meant we finished after five, my train was just before six, and Giggle maps said it was a fifty-two-minute walk. But gimpy-limpy Kev managed to make it in thirty-seven, even being able to stop and take a photo of the very nice Indian restaurant I wished I had time to stop and get some food at.

It’s dark before I’ve finished the first leg of the journey and finished typing this up. It’s a long day and it feels longer as the hope gets sapped more and more with each game. And the second leg of the journey sees the incompetent fucks at Avanti north west cancel the train to London, their second cancellation of the day, and it may well be tomorrow before I get home now.

Quiz Time – Shrewsbury Town are one of three English sides in League Two this season who have won the Welsh Cup, name the other two.

Next up it is the third and final of the other teams relegated with us from League One last season as we entertain Bristol Rovers at the Broadfield next Saturday. I’m tired of typing the next sentence, but it is a must win game.

Come on you reds.

Right Back Where We Started From

There were a lot of negative sounding song ideas bouncing around this week, bury as a theme, and ‘Down Down’ by Status Quo, and more in that kind of vein. But after a year in more rarified air we are heading back to where we started from last season. And therefore we have some classic seventies disco from Maxine Nightingale and her number eight hit from late 1975.

After the barnstorming performance against Northampton Town on Saturday there was joy and pain in the stadium as first Cambridge United equalised only to concede an even later losing goal to Burton Albion, which left us needing a miracle sequence of results to stay up. Burton played their game in hand on Tuesday night against already safe Wigan Athletic. They took the lead halfway through the second half, only for our old boy Ronan Darcy to score a ninety-sixth minute equaliser, but it was too little too late and virtually the last kick of the game and Burton got the point they needed to be completely safe. A point which condemned ourselves (and Bristol Rovers) to relegation.

As the fans filed out after the lap of appreciation, the players were going back inside and into the Innovation Suite to have their end of season awards ceremony. Last year it was an eighty quid a ticket affair on the Sunday night over at Lingfield Racecourse, but no such thing this year, and no fans on hand to witness the awards, drinking and attempts at dancing. There were six awards, the fan picked player of the season went to Charlie Barker, as did the player’s player award. The other fan picked award; goal of the season went to Bradley Ibrahim for his strike against Wrexham back in February. Then there was the Crawley Observer player of the year, which went to Jeremy Kelly. And two club awards, the first being the clubman of the year, going to Jane Hillman, and a special Dannie Bulman award for outstanding contribution going to Ben Harwood. The latter was a new one compared to last year (although there was a special 100 appearances award for Nick Tsaroulla), but it was a pared down awards set, as the PFA Community Champion, the GH Travel away player of the season, and the CTSA young player of the year were all dropped.

During the week I completed reading the current edition of The Blizzard, in addition to the article on Hastings United (who were relegated from the NL South at the weekend), there was another decent piece on Exeter City and their fan based ownership model, which went at lengths to explain just how much there is going on off the pitch in running a club at this level, and how hard it is to stand still even with increased revenues due to there being other clubs increasing their revenues by a lot more. And how their academy is key to keeping the revenue coming in, with big sell on clause incomes coming from the onward sales of Ollie Watkins and Jay Stansfield, although they highlighted the lunacy of tax laws, as despite the fact that the income for Jay Stansfield comes in over seven years due to the length of the contact with Birmingham City, they have to pay the tax on the whole amount in the first year. It does make you realise how much clubs at our level have to scramble to survive.

This will be our eighth game against Shrewsbury Town, having won our first ever game against them at the Broadfield in our first season in the league, but we haven’t won against them since, with three draws and three defeats against them, including the game back in early October when we went down to ten men after Josh Flint was sent off for two silly bookings in quick succession, went into the lead only for some questionable substitutions to be made (something we returned to a lot), and for us to end up losing 5-3, one of seven times this season we’ve scored three or more goals and not won, and the second such game in a week with the emergency loan keeper Connal Trueman.

There were no Shrewsbury Town football cards from the Topps era, and as for the last two games I’ve gone to the 1991–92 Proset collection, and as with Northampton Town last time out, it’s their fixture card with their manager — John Bond — on the front as I still had that set out anyway.

More on my football card obsession over the years can be read in the article below.

Going into this game both Shrewsbury and we are already relegated, it means the result today is immaterial. Or is it? The Reading takeover saga is still unresolved with them having their deadline extended again until after the end of the season, and there may still be the fallout from that as demotion or expulsion from the league are still sanctions which could be applied to them. Therefore it is worth going all out for a good win today so that we stay above Bristol Rovers in twenty-first place, as that may see the (miniscule) chance of an undeserved reprieve. Only for there to be the announcement a couple of hours before kick-off that the sale had been agreed, so it looks done.

For the third season on the trot our last away game of the season is against a club beginning with S (after Swindon Town and Sutton United), my only season supporting Crawley without the last game being against an S side was my first, when we played Oldham Athletic in the last away game. And in three of those four seasons we have played against a side who were relegated. So, Salford City away last game next season anyone?

We travelled up to Shrewsbury on Thursday night, to make a weekend of it. Shrewsbury is a lovely place to have a look around, and they have Loopfest going on all weekend. Part of which meant we were at Shrewsbury Castle last night to see Goldie Lookin’ Chain. So there was the temptation to use one of their songs for the title today, but not sure about the appeal of having a piece called ‘you mother’s got a penis’ is universal (their finale piece last night was a fifteen minute rave classics megamix version of that, which was a joy to behold.)

More by luck than judgement, the hotel we’re at isn’t that far from the ground, The Croud Meadow (or New Meadow). It is further outside the centre of the town than their old ground Gay Meadow, which was on the banks of the River Severn, but was closed in 2007 and is now this.

The old ground had a local coracle maker – Fred Davies (not to be confused with a later Shrewsbury manager with the same name) – would sit in the river in a coracle to retrieve any stray balls booted out of the ground and into the river. A bit of a far cry from the local scallies running off with them from the Broadfield Stadium car park. Wandering around charity shops I did find a couple of pictures of old Shrewsbury books which had pictures of Gay Meadow in action from the late fifties and early sixties.

And other books also had squad pictures of the team from 1923, looking immensely proud, and a rather uncomfortable looking bunch from 1987.

It is strange what else you can find randomly in charity shops, as there was this windbreaker jacket on the rail in one for Sheffield FC, which just seemed a strange thing to find in Shrewsbury.

The weather couldn’t make its mind up and there was a charity shop hoodie purchase this morning as it was freezing, only for the sun to be out and us to be sitting in it for the game.

The club shop is a Portakabin in the car park, and it was rammed, with queues out the door as they had a sale on. They told me that programmes were available elsewhere, only to get round to the away end and be told the club shop was the only place they were selling them today. So no programme and not happy. It would appear the emergency loan for Toby Steward was extended even if it wasn’t announced. Shrewsbury are in blue and yellow striped shirts, with blue socks and shorts and we are in our all-red kit again.

Not sure what they were, or what caused them, but there were strange almost circular patches of no grass two yards in front of each post.

It took twenty seconds, which was even quicker than I had expected when I’d mentioned what our first chant would be, and the Crawley fans didn’t disappoint – “You’re going down with the Crawley” – absolutely no surprise.

There is an early Shrewsbury free kick thirty yards out won from a blatant drive. It is cleared. It seems to be an early Shrewsbury tactic to dive down to the ground at any hint of a challenge around the box.

We have some decent possession, but Shrewsbury break down the left wing and get a cross into the box, there is a free header at the back post, but it goes wide. There is a bit of an early pattern in that, we have possession, Shrewsbury break down the left and get a cross in. the fourth time it happens Charlie Barker heads it clear for a corner, it comes in and we have it with Jack Roles who takes it out of the penalty area and heads up the right, and he is taken out. We get a free kick, but that should have brought a yellow about.

Another corner is conceded following a sloppy pass out of defence by Dion Conroy, it comes in and is headed over. Some of our passing around at the back is heart stopping stuff. We lose the ball in midfield and it is one on one with the keeper, but there is a lack of confidence, and they pass it sideways, again, they decide not to shoot and there is a coming together and the Shrewsbury attacker goes down, I’m half expecting a penalty, but play goes on. We seem to have gone to sleep a bit, especially when compared to our last few games. Shrewsbury are having the better of some extremely limited exchanges.

So limited that the boisterous away crowd are making their own entertainment, and the old favourite of ‘shoes off if you love Crawley’ is making an appearance, along with a bout of shoe waving.

A free kick is conceded in midfield with a bit of a late lunge from Liam Fraser, again I’d have expected a yellow for that, but there isn’t one (well I didn’t see one, probably because Steve Herbert was talking to us so I only had one eye on the game, but apparently there was one shown). However the ref hasn’t forgotten his cards as it might appear, as when Jeremy Kelly is taken out on the left wing, a yellow card for the Shrewsbury player.

It has taken quite some time, but we do finally get a shot, played down the right and into the box and a Max Anderson shot is deflected wide for a corner. The corner goes deep there is a header at the back post which is cleared off (or near) the line and hacked away. We are getting a bit better, we’re trying to play through the middle, but are trying one pass too many and are not getting an attempt at a shot. And again we work it into the box, another pass, and another, and finally a shot, which is blocked. There is one added minute at the end of the half before the half time whistle goes with the score at 0-0 in what has been a somewhat insipid first half.

The second half starts with a Shrewsbury attack, and they win a corner, it goes deep, and Toby Steward punches clear to the edge of the area, there is a shot back in which is blocked and there is another corner. It is taken short; we win it and as Roles tries to play out, he is fouled on the edge of the area. We break down the right and slide the ball through the Rushian Hepburn-Murphy in the box, he passes it back to Panutche Camara, and back to RHM, out to Roles and he crosses it to the back of the box where Gavan Holohan is bundled over about eight yards out. Similar contact to the Shrewsbury one in the first half, so surprised when a penalty is given. More than happy to get it though, especially after some of the non-calls earlier in the season (Bristol Rovers away in the second half and the five decent penalty shouts spring to mind). The Shrewsbury player who conceded the penalty is less than happy. He and several players are moaning to the ref and continuing after he has let RHM get ready to take the penalty. It looks like a tactic to delay the penalty, but whatever is said the ref takes offence and sends the Shrewsbury player off.

The palaver doesn’t put RHM off and he puts it just left of centre as the keeper dives to the right and it is 1-0 to us.

Our next attack sees a ball down the left to RHM in the box who gets barrelled into from behind, but the ref waves play on. That was more of a penalty than the one we were given. We are trying to make the extra man count. There is more attacking pressure. Kelly plays a ball across the field to Roles on the right wing, his cross is put behind for a corner. It is taken deep and there is a lot of pushing and pulling from both sides in the box and the ball goes out to the edge of the area where Roles shoots and the shot is high, wide, and not in the slightest bit handsome.

A Shrewsbury attack is stopped by a foul by Ben Radcliffe which picks up a yellow card. The resulting free kick is played long to the left and they win a corner, which goes across the box and is put out for another corner on the other side of the box. That is played out to the edge of the area and shot is blocked and then we clear it. We play it forward to RHM he passes it to Camara, over to Roles, he crosses it and Holohan gets a header, it comes down to Camara, he passes it back to the edge of the area and Anderson gets it and shoots, it goes into the bottom corner and we lead 2-0.

The next attack sees a ball to Kelly, and he pings it out to Holohan on the left wing, and it goes across to RHM, then Camara, then Anderson, and out to Roles on the right wing who puts a cross in, but it is cleared. It is Kelly’s last involvement as he is substituted and replaced by Armando Junior Quitirna.

Shrewsbury play out from the back and their player charges down the middle for half the pitch before shooting, which Steward stops and collects on the second attempt, and we counter down the left getting the ball to RHM who beats the first man, but then fails to get around the second near the byline, getting muscled out and going over in the box, with no hope of getting anything for that.

We are getting lots of possession, as you would expect with an extra man, getting the ball to Camara down the right channel, he puts in a looping cross over to Roles beyond the back post, but the ball won’t come down quick enough for him to get a shot off and it gets smuggled away and cleared. Shrewsbury break down the right and get a shot off which Steward saves, and it gets cleared long down the left-hand side to AJQ, and he can’t quite get it under control, and it skips through to the keeper.

The next attack sees the ball through to RHM in the middle of the park in the attacking half, as he nears the edge of the box he cuts across and is taken down by the last defender. We get the free kick twenty five yards out smack bang in the middle of the goal, but the last man challenge only draws a yellow card, when it could have easily been a red. AJQ takes the free kick and dips it over the wall, and the keeper does well to tip it over the bar for a corner. It is played short and worked out to Roles who is in a similar position to where the free kick was from, and he is fouled and there is another one. He takes it this time; it is low and around the wall but doesn’t have the power and the keeper saves it easily.

And for the third time in a couple of minutes we have a free kick at about twenty-five yards out, this time it is Holohan who is through and cuts inside the defender and is taken down. Again it is the last defender, but there isn’t even a booking this time. Before the kick is taken, we make a couple of substitutions with Holohan and Roles going off to be replaced by Kamari Doyle and Antony Papadopoulos. AJQ takes the free kick and bends it over the wall, and it is well saved down low.

Camara is taken out on the wing in midfield, which does see a yellow card for a Shrewsbury player. Camara is still doing all action, and forces a mistake in defence, the ball out goes straight to Anderson who slips it into the box to RHM, who takes it on the run and round the last defender, only to rush the shot and put it wide.

The long punt clear sees Conroy inexplicably head it backwards and out for a corner. It is taken short and then passed back to the taker who is then offside. We attack and get our own corner down the right, it is played short, and we do a spell of keep ball passing it out to the left and then back to the right where it come to AJQ who cuts inside into the box and shoots, but it goes wide left.

A sloppy free kick is given away in midfield, the harmless looking ball into the box sees an overhead kick attempt from Shrewsbury look as if it is going harmlessly well wide, but it finds another player on the left of the box who shoots across Steward and into the corner of the net and it is back to 2-1.

There are four added minutes. AJQ gets dispossessed in midfield, Shrewsbury break and get down the right, they get a cross in and a shot is saved by Steward, and the ball is put out for a corner. There is a massive melee in the box before it is taken. The Shrewsbury keeper runs the length of the pitch to get involved. There is a booking (just the one and to a Shrewsbury player, from our end no idea what for), and the keeper stays up for the corner. We clear and head down the right, we are screaming shoot and when we get into the Shrewsbury half the ball is passed forward and RHM is on the end, and he shoots and scores. But the flag is up for offside. He was definitely played on by a defender, but as the keeper was up the other end, the defender was the only one playing him on.

We clear again and break down the left with a ball to RHM who is pulled back and we get a free kick and there is another yellow for a Shrewsbury player. There is only time to take it and then the final whistle goes, and we have won 2-1.

The players come to acknowledge the fans at the end. Scott Lindsey singles out the substituted Jeremy Kelly by putting his arm around him and pointed at him as if encouraging us to chant his name. Which to me doesn’t look a good sign, that was more a ‘cheer him while you can’ gesture as if that were the last time we would be seeing Kelly in a Crawley shirt. I hope I am wrong.

Burton Albion lost, as did Bristol Rovers, and so we finish twenty first, a single point and nine goal difference from safety, which is somewhat frustrating. There are a lot of things I could say about that, but I’ll save that for my season review piece later in the week.

TAFKAL wasn’t with the travelling contingent today, for which I’m sure the officials were grateful, instead he was bowling at the Welsh Open championships, and after today he was top of the leaderboard, so as it stands at least Crawley are winning something. Well done TAFKAL, let’s hope you can stay top and win.

And so that is it, all the games have been played, the points have been tallied, and the final results are in, and we have not been good enough and so head off back to the mire of Division Two for next season. This is my last match report of the season (but there will be a season review piece), and so I’ll now be spending my time supporting Leicestershire-La-La-La in the cricket, where hopefully they can keep their good start to the season going and stay in the promotion places in the country championship. And there is going to be Crawley Town related activity to come over the summer as a new CTFC exhibition will be taking place at Crawley Museum from the 17^th July to 16^th August covering the last couple of years.

Come on you reds.

This Is The Nite

The original title I had lined up for New year’s Day isn’t applicable for a fresh Tuesday night in March, so had to dig something else up instead. And I have gone for this 1957 early soul single from the group The Valiants. Which may seem to have no relation to this game, but one of the lesser-known nicknames of tonight’s opponents is The Valiants, and it is a night (nite) game after all.

This is a rearranged game from New Year’s Day when the incompetent ref (I’m sure auto-complete could write those words all by itself quite easily by this point in the season) called the game off due to a waterlogged pitch with eleven minutes to go before kick-off. It should have been the follow up game to the crazy 4-4 draw away at Exeter City and would originally have marked the halfway point in the season.

It is the return fixture from the one at the start of December and the wonderful 2-1 away win at The Valley on a Tuesday night where we took over seven hundred away fans with us, and there was a lot more hope around.

Back when I originally prepared this, I had had two games which had reminded me of old football related quiz questions. I remembered that Charlton Athletic was an answer to another of those questions from the same period, this time, name the five league sides whose full names start and end with the same letter. As with those other remembered questions back in December, the numbers are now depleted as there only the four now as York City are no longer in the league. And the others being Aston Villa, Liverpool, and Northampton Town.

Although not being in the top-flight in the seventies, there were Charlton players in most of the Topps cards series each year during the period, and after using the 76-77 set last time, I’ve gone a year later to get Alan Dugdale.

This is only our second league outing against them after the 2-1 away win earlier in the season. We have also met four times in the various guises of the Football League Trophy, winning two and losing two.

How fortunes have gone in opposite directions since that game at the start of December, after which we were only three points and four places behind Charlton. We go into the game today seventeen places behind Charlton, who are now in the playoff places, and thirty points behind them. So, in just over three months they’ve picked up twenty-seven more points than we have.

We come into the game on the back of the last minute (of normal time) equaliser to get a point against Reading, in a game where another five seconds would have seen us win, but ref was doing his best Clive Thomas impression. We are far from safety and need to win every game now to stand a hope of staying up.

Under pressure manager, Rob Elliot, is returning to the club he supported as a child, and whom he played for between 2004 and 2011. And squad members JoJo Wollacott, Charlie Barker, Panutche Camara, and Armando Junior Quitirna have all played for Charlton previously, with all of them likely to play some part this evening. Former loanee Aaron Henry is on Charlton’s books, but is recovering from injury so definitely won’t be playing tonight.

Not too much of a rush for a Tuesday night game for a change, there with twenty minutes to spare. The club have fixed the broken seat in front of us since the Cambridge game. I’m sure that the speed they have fixed that will lead to questions about the hand driers in the west stand.

Charlton are in pale yellow shirts and socks and black shorts. Almost as if they are a load of highlighters which have been left out in the sun and faded. We are in our all red. Our mate Al the steward was helping people to their seats, but neither he nor the people he was helped noticed that their tickets were for seats in the 190s, and not the 90s they were guided to.

It takes less than a minute for TAFKAL to bellow ‘get on with it’. There was a five-minute spell where he headed off and the Charlton full back didn’t know what to do with himself when taking a throw, but normal service was resumed after the throat operation.

We have an early counterattack and Armando Junior Quitirna wins a corner. It is deep and headed back to Panutche Camara and his shot is blocked at close quarters in the box.

There is a lot of intent going forward from both sides. Charlton look to have a bit more quality up front, but we are attacking well. Right up until the moment of the final ball. Will Swan is offside when played through, and if he hadn’t been, the shot was well wide anyway. Thirty seconds later and Camara plays Swan through again, and he puts the shot wide the other side this time.

A Charlton corner is headed away by Charlie Barker. The throw in is worked across and they get a shot from the edge of the area which goes well over. We get down the other end and win a throw and it is a long one from Barker, half cleared back to him, and he crosses it, it hits an attacker in the box, but it is just a hit and falls to their keeper.

Camara is caught late in midfield and the Charlton player picks up a yellow card for the challenge. We do a bit of fannying about, and then someone slips in midfield, Charlton get a shot off which goes just wide. Toby Mullarkey loses the ball going forward in his own half, Charlton cross to the back post and Ade Adeyemo slips leaving their attacker to be able to get a shot which takes a deflection and seems to go through JoJo Wollacott into the goal and we trail 0-1.

At the other end, an AJQ cross goes right through the six-yard box without either team getting a touch on it. Mullarkey lets a long ball go over his head and bounce and then can’t get to it before the Charlton attacker, but their shot is well saved by Wollacott at the expense of a corner. They work a shot from that, but it goes wide.

AJQ has another cross which sails through the box and still we can’t get a body on the end of it, you can hear and feel the frustration from the crowd. We can’t get on the end of a decent final ball at all. There is one added minute at the end of the half before the half time whistle goes with it 0-1.

The second half takes a while to warm up, it’s a few minutes before there is any hint of an attacking threat from either side. We win a corner from a Kamara Doyle shot which is blocked wide. It comes in and is easily caught by the keeper.

There is some indecisive defending in our own box and Charlton get a shot on target which Wollacott saves at the second attempt. And the timewasting has started in earnest. Their number 16 is down at the other end of the pitch injured, what from no one knows. Perhaps he is missing TAFKAL bellowing at him. AJQ picks up a booking for a dive in the box. Not convinced that was a dive.

After more Charlton possession we break down the left wing, Camara plays it to Swan, and he cuts inside but the shot drifts wide. Not convinced that was his best option with two in the box, but the chances of a final ball actually finding one of them would probably have been slim to none anyway.

Charlton have another shot from the edge of the box which is saved by Wollacott. We attack down the left and Doyle gets a cross in. Swan jumps for it and misses but it bounces to Max Anderson and his attempt is blocked away for a throw. A long throw comes in from Barker and it is headed for a corner. Taken short to AJQ who cuts in and shoots, his shot is saved, and it comes out to the edge of the area and Camara tries a blasted shot only for it to be blocked and nearly play a Charlton attacker in on our own goal.

We break again and Camara plays it to Doyle, who passes it on to Swan and his cross / shot goes for a corner. It’s Camara’s last involvement as he and Anderson are subbed off with Tyreese John-Jules and Louie Watson coming on to replace them. The corner is worked well with the two subs and AJQ and we win another corner. That gets to Adeyemo, and his shot just curls wide.

Charlton have a right-wing attack which cuts us open easily, Adeyemo slips again, for about the eighth time, he needs some longer studs. The shot comes in and Wollacott saves, and the ball is bundled out for a corner which Barker heads clear again.

And in almost an action replay, Adeyemo is beaten again by their right winger and ends up on the floor, and they are through on goal but shoot wide. Thankfully. But at the other end Adeyemo stays upright and gets a cross in and it is just flicked headed over Swan by a defender. Barker’s long throw on the other side is flicked on and tipped over the bar by the keeper. It is taken short, and the cross misses everyone in the box and it comes back out to Watson and his shot goes just wide.

Barker picks up a booking on the far side for stopping their left winger at pace, though he is protesting the winger dived. But we break down the left and Charlton get a booking for a pull back on TJJ.

There are more substitutions, Liam Fraser and Adeyemo come off to be replaced by Bradley Ibrahim and the return of Jeremy Kelly from injury. And after a couple of Charlton subs, a minute later we make our final substitution with Mullarkey going off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan.

Doyle puts a cross in and it won’t fall for anyone and is half cleared to Ibrahim who attempts to follow up his goal of the month contender from last month, but it spins off the outside of his foot and goes high and wide.

There are five added minutes, during which Charlton have no intention of doing anything but professional shithousery. And they do it very well. An AJQ cross gets to Swan, but the ball is blocked and falls to the keeper. A Doyle cross goes for a corner, which comes in and see a Crawley player down in the box, for which Charlton get a free kick. One of their players is stood over the player on the ground taunting them, but Barker is having none of that and some handbags kick off. Which continues all over the pitch with Charlton players deliberately throwing and kicking the ball away from where the free kick should be taken. And then again down in the far corner, Barker is squaring up again to more shithousery.

The full-time whistle goes to put us out of our misery for this game. It is a 0-1 loss, which on the whole seemed a fair, if very frustrating, result. As it has been for most of the season, that final ball quality isn’t quite there, and the finishing isn’t great. There will be moans about the lack of shots on target, and I will say again, we have a lot more shots on target than we get credit for. If a shot is on target and hits a defender, it gets counted as a blocked shot. Only shots that go in or are saved by the keeper get counted as on target, which is a bullshit way to keep stats.

Cambridge lost as well, so we stay twenty-second, but as they lost to Bristol Rovers, we are now even more goal difference and the nine points from safety. It looks as if it will take the recuperative powers of Lazarus, Captain Jack Harkness, and Wolverine to prevent relegation now. But it isn’t mathematically impossible. Yet. Next up is Huddersfield Town away on Saturday.

Come on you reds.

Random November Observations

Absolute Guff

I’m not sure who writes the guff the Absolute early morning presenters read out, but surely if the presenters had half a brain cell, they wouldn’t read it verbatim as they must know it’s a crock of shite. Saturday morning after playing “When I Come Around” by Green Day, they were trying to link to the documentary available on their Rayo app, which is about Green Day’s “American Idiot” album. Apparently, according to the guff read out by the presenter, “American Idiot” was the follow up to “Dookie,” despite it coming out ten years later than it. And that it was them returning after the creative lull following the success of “Dookie.” So, they totally ignore the fact that they had the “Insomniac,” “Nimrod,” and “Warning” albums, and re-released “Ker-Plunk,” predecessor to “Dookie,” and then had a greatest hits album called “International Super Hits” out in the time between “Dookie” and “American Idiot.”

Fine, advertise your documentary, and yes, “American Idiot” is a good album, but don’t treat your listeners as if they are the kind of morons your station employs.

At least that poor early morning presenter is gone by 8am. Unfortunately, it does mean it is time to switch off the radio as the morning slot is now presented by the unfunny personality vacuum, which is Jon Richardson, who seems to have roped in a desperately bored Angela Barnes in to share in his misery. Fuck know what Frank Skinner did to get the push, but they really need to bring him back.

Turns out it isn’t just the poor morning presenter they have reading their guff out either. I’ve heard the same rubbish repeated by a whole host of their so-called musically knowledgeable presenters as well.

Cheap Thrills

We were on the train up to London on Saturday morning, as we were making our way to Maidenhead for a FA Cup game. A woman got on the train at Mersham with her toddler son. She spent the rest of the trip up as far as Farringdon ringing everyone in her phone book to tell them she got a family ticket with travelcard to go anywhere in London all day, and it only cost seventeen quid. She definitely seemed more excited by that ticket cost than her son seemed about being taken to see dinosaurs. Especially when we got to Blackfriars, and he could see boats on the river. It was a case, as far as he was concerned, of fuck the dinosaurs, I want to go on a boat.

More Delivery Dismay

The more times I sit in the window of Maccy D’s watching the world go by as I have my unhealthy, un-nutritious breakfast, the more I become sure I will never order anything through any of the fast-food delivery chumpanies. No Uber Eats, no Just Eat, no Deliveroo, they can all do one. There is no regulation over what their drivers do. How anyone gets food which isn’t stone cold is a mystery. Recently I’ve seen orders picked up in an Aldi bag for life, an M&S cold bag which wasn’t done up at all. Not that any of the lazy bastards picking up deliveries bother to zip up their heat bags if they do deign to use them. And Saturday morning I saw a female Just Eat driver come out of Greggs with an open heat bag in her hand, but the items she had picked up from Greggs weren’t in it. she was holding them above the heat bag in the same hand as it as she ambled casually along the pavement in the general direction of where her transport might be. And of course some of the heat bags do have separators in them to keep hot and cold items apart, but most don’t, and I watch drivers put the bags of hot food in and then put the cold drinks in next to them. So the drinks won’t be that cold on arrival, and the food won’t be warm. And don’t get me started on these chumps’ motorised cycles, whizzing along doing twenty-plus miles an hour on the pavement. No, I’m not getting out of your way, fuck off on the road where your motorised vehicle belongs. I still don’t understand how any of these companies make enough money to keep going and how the millions of lazy fuckers using them put up with lukewarm food, or having to reheat everything. Either go and get it yourselves or go and eat it in the restaurant. It’s cheaper, and the food will be warmer and therefore more edible.

Suddenly, White Goods

I got a bit of a surprise going to work this morning, I turned to go down Brighton Road as usual, going down the lush green ‘valley’ bit under the footbridge, between Southgate Drive and the New Moon pub, only to find someone has dumped a fridge-freezer by the side of the road just past the foot bridge. Yes, a full six-foot-high white fridge-freezer placed by the side of the road. Not just dumped in a haphazard style as if pushed off the back of a lorry, or tipped down the bank. No, deliberately placed there. Someone had driven along there, stopped, got out, unloaded the fridge-freezer, and carefully placed it by the side of the road so it’s not blocking too much of the road. It’s not exactly the most inconspicuous of places to stop. It just boggles the mind.

Rockin’ Robin

A young, Motown affiliated Michael Jackson kicks us off this time around as I reference the opposition’s nickname to make a tenuous title link again.

After the great opening day win against Blackpool on Saturday, it is back to action quickly with midweek action in the Carabao Cup. And we are playing Swindon Town, who, over the last couple of years we have had a number of dealings with, as out manager Scott Lindsey was let go by them, last year’s club captain and now one of our coaches – Ben Gladwin came from there, as did current club captain Dion Conroy, and then we have had Ronan Darcy and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy from them as well. Going the other way, one of the stalwarts of out promotion winning side last year, Will Wright has gone the other way, and he made the same start for them on Saturday as he did for us last season, with a thunderbolt of a goal. It will also give us the chance to scout their current team for any more of their contingent we might like to sign.

We last played them on New Year’s Day when we beat them 3-1 at home, somewhat making up for the 6-0 drubbing we had at their place last August. We haven’t played them in the Carabao Cup (in any of its incarnations) before. But we did play them in the FA Cup winning 3-2 away in a second-round replay in 2010 after a 1-1 draw at home. And overall, we lead the head-to-head against them with eight wins to their six, with seven draws.

Elsewhere, the managerial merry go round has started early, and Preston North End (no relation to our co-chairman) have sacked their manager after one game, and the bookies have initially made Scott Lindsey as the favourite for the job. To which all I can say is fuck off Preston. And the same for bookies.

As well as being live and direct at the Broadfield Stadium, the game is going to be live on FSS as well. For those who can’t make it to Crawley for the game, let’s hope that FSS don’t fuck up again, and actually show the whole match after their failure to do so on Saturday when they cut off after 93 minutes.

With it being a midweek evening game, there will be no getting to the ground three hours before kick-off like there was on Saturday. More like twenty minutes. The underpass still looks clean, just a couple of items left behind by litterbugs.

And in an act of obvious shithousery Swindon name Will Wright as the captain for the game. When the teams come out for the game it would appear that Swindon are wearing our third kit from last season. Was that part of the payment for the deal for Rushian Hepburn-Murphy? For us neither Fish nor Faal are in the squad.

We get an early chance, working the ball well in a tight space down the right and then switched over to the left where Jack Roles cuts inside and tries to curl one in only for it to go wide. Toby Mullarkey is showing some skills going forward and is putting in some good tackles on defensive duty.

A free kick on the left is floated to the edge of the area and headed on. Ade Adeyemo tries to delicately float it over the keeper and in, but the keeper gets back and pushes the ball over the bar for a corner. Which is played out to Roles outside the box, and he is fouled. He takes the free kick himself and drills it low and just wide of the post.

Swindon are starting to come into the game a bit more, but a good move sees Jeremy Kelly feed the ball to Rafiq Khaleel on the right and his shot is tipped round the post for a corner. Which was wasted. But we keep the ball, and it is played in and out of the box, but we can’t quite fashion a shooting opportunity.

At the other end Swindon win the ball and get into the area and get a shot off which is just wide. It did look as if we’d fallen asleep for a moment there. On thirty-five minutes we work the ball forward and Roles puts the ball through to Adeyemo in the box and his shot is close to the keeper, but it seems to go through him and squirms its way over the line and we lead 1-0.

A through ball from Mullarkey see Khaleel in the box, but he is squeezed out to the right and his shot is from a tight angle and easily saved by the Swindon keeper. Another long ball is played through to Adeyemo in the box but his shot loops into the air and out for a goal kick. There is one minute of added time at the end of the half and the half time whistle goes with us leading 1-0.

Looking on social media at half time and it would appear that the FSS feed is shit, with both wonky camera work being moaned about, and the game disappearing off screens for a bit with ‘technical issues’. The much-vaunted FSS coverage isn’t what it was cracked up to be.

We make two substitutions at half time and take a bit of time to get going. From the second of a couple of early corners Swindon have a shot which is well saved by Jojo Wollacott. From the third successive corner the shot is high over the bar and is only stopped from being the only ball of the night to disappear over the stand by coming back off the empty camera gantry on top of the KRL Logistics stand. It would seem that Carabao Cup games don’t warrant a second FSS camera at the ground then.

Finally, we get a bit of the ball and counterattack, the ball is worked out to Khaleel on the right and his shot is saved. And from another Swindon corner we break again down the right and Khaleel’s cross is blocked out for a throw near the corner flag. A bit more pressure follows, and the ball ends up with Roles after a pass from Armando Junior Quitirna. Rick who sits behind me and is Jack’s biggest fan shouts ‘Shoot Jack’ (not with a gun as some might think), and Roles obliges and unleashes from thirty-five yards straight into the top corner and we lead 2-0.

Which kind of led to the team thinking it was all over and they relaxed far too much for anyone’s liking. A couple of minutes later there was some slack play trying to pass the ball across the edge of our own area and the ball was hoovered up by a Swindon player and passed on and a shot from the edge of the area nestled in the net to make it 2-1.

The Swindon number 9 was living a charmed life. There were three heavy and late challenges which could all have been bookings, but after the third one he only got a talking to. Even on totting up he should have had a booking by now. Swindon get a free kick just inside our half and Will Wright takes it quickly and puts it into the net from forty yards, but the ref pulls it back as the whistle hadn’t gone. A couple of minutes later Swindon get a ball in the box and attempt a cross which Antony Papadopoulos (if he plays a lot I’m going to have to be cutting and pasting that name) slides to stop, but it hits his arm, and a penalty is given. Will Wright steps up to take and Wollacott makes a great save to push it round the post. The relief from that doesn’t last long though. The corner comes all the way over to the back post and it’s a free header and it’s 2-2.

Which sees us make two more substitutions. Khaleel gets a booking on the right wing for a nothing challenge. Which is a surprise as I’d assumed the ref hadn’t brought his cards out onto the pitch with him. Seconds later the Swindon number 8 goes straight through the back of Roles, and nothing is given. At all. That was dangerous, studs up, and late, and could have been a red, but waved away and only two meters in front of the lino with the white stick.

Swindon are really up for this now and they are doing most of the attacking. Wollacott is forced into a couple of saves before we get out of our own half and attack. The ball is worked to Papadopoulos (yes copy and paste was used for that) and his shot is just over the bar. Roles then commits a foul on the edge of the D, and the yellow card is whipped out in record time. The shot is round the wall, but Wollacott makes another good save, and the rebound is headed over. Another foul near the corner flag sees Josh Flint pick up a booking. At this stage the ref is just taking the piss.

But we appear to have woken up after nearly half an hour of slumber and do some attacking, with a couple of blocked shots. We keep the pressure on, and the ball is worked across from Khaleel to Roles in the middle of the park and he strokes the ball into the bottom corner from twenty odd yards out and we lead again, 3-2.

From the kick off, Swindon play it back to the keeper who hoofs it up the pitch we win it back and Roles is wiped out by another horrendous tackle, but we break and Armando crosses to the right and Khaleel picks it up and scores to make it 4-2. There is still no booking forthcoming for a Swindon player, who appear to have been given licence to kick the shit out of Jack Roles.

There are six added minutes at the end of the game and it takes until the very last one of them before the ref finally remembers he is actually allowed to book a Swindon player for their thuggery, and that is pretty much the end of the action and the final whistle goes with us coming out 4-2 winners and booking a place in round two, the draw for which is made tomorrow evening. Let’s hope it’s a good draw for us.

The crowd was announced as 2,396 with 315 away fans. It did look like there were more than that though. And the sponsors’ man of the match was the scorer of two stunning goals, and general punchbag for the Swindon players, Jack Roles.

That was harder work than it should have been, but it gave a lot of players a bit more competitive game time which is always good, and we did win. And now it’s on to Cambridge United away on Saturday.

Come on you reds.

We Need More Than Wombles

You have to wonder about some people’s mentality. I was out on Friday, just as it had turned to the afternoon. I had nipped into the shop on the local parade to get a drink. There was a teenage girl in front of me buying lots of random stuff. And because one drink doesn’t take long to scan and pay for, especially when I had already prepared the correct change to pay for it, I was walking towards the Downsman not far behind the girl.

Her mum was parked up at the side of the pub and the girl passed the bag of shopping into her through the driver side window. The mum passed her a couple of things and told the girl to throw them away. So, the girl took them, walked back across the road, and then just threw them at the base of the tree there. Two more steps away there is a bin. Her mum did shout at her to pick them up and put them in the bin. “It’s literally just there next to you.” There was a lot of huffing then involved.

But when you hear how it’s my generation that doesn’t give a shit about the planet, it isn’t. it’s the lazy entitled little shits of Greta Thunberg’s generation. And they seem to be worse in this country than anywhere else. (Even Vienna.) it is why our streets are litter strewn messes, whereas the streets of most foreign cities we visit tend to be litter free. (That and a lack of council resources to have that early, five in the morning street cleaning crews they seem to have overseas.)

And to be fair it isn’t just the younger generation in this country, it seems to be an epidemic of lazy bastards. I had my usual pre writing group Maccy D’s breakfast on Saturday morning. Pretty much every table had the detritus of wrappings left behind on them by lazy fuckwits. They managed to get their food and drink to the tables (OK, half of them probably used the deliver to table option when ordering), but they couldn’t possibly manage to take the empty bits to the bin. Which they have to walk past to get out the door. It beggars’ belief.

Although I didn’t make it to the football on Saturday (because of the stupid time of the friendly clashing with writing group), I can guarantee that by the end of the game the stands will be litter strewn hovels. People can manage to get the food and drink to their seats but can’t possibly take the litter away with them at the end. They just drop it and expect someone else to clean it up. And again most of them have to walk past the wheelie bins placed next to the bottom of each set of stairs out of the stands when they are leaving.

Why oh why are we such a nation of lazy, slovenly halfwits?

We Got A Win At The Valley

Apologies to the often-forgotten Sabrina Johnson whose lyrics have been stretched past credulity to try and cram something song related into the title.

After the great win to start the new year on Monday against Swindon Town, it’s time for my first away game of the season. Circumstances have meant I’ve missed a lot of good opportunities, and this certainly wasn’t a planned (or even thought of) game to come to. In fact, I was supposed to be on the way to Seville, but with Helen advised not to fly, that trip has been postponed until March (much like the Morecambe game we were going to go to back in October) this week. So, I’ve taken the opportunity to take advantage of the already booked annual leave and head north.

And so, today’s game is something of an epiphany game for us. (Yes, that’s a poor joke, but as it’s the only date I can use it, it could be years before another game falls on the sixth of January.)

Today’s game is against Bradford City, in the WAGMI derby. We played them in our first game of the season and won 1-0, with Will Wright scoring one of his now trademark thunderbolts. Which continued our good record against them. And had the bonus of making Mark Hughes lose his shit again. There is no Mark Hughes to annoy today as he has got the push because Bradford weren’t doing very well, especially for a club of their size and expectations.

Going into today’s game we sit twelfth in the League Two table. One place above our opponents, and two points ahead of them. So, managing to avoid defeat would keep us above them in the table. Always good. We are only three points off a play off place (although there is a lot of goal difference to make up, so effectively four points).

We got here yesterday afternoon, chilled last night and then spent the morning sightseeing. We could see the stadium from the back windows of our hotel.

Some people may scoff about being able to sightsee in a northern industrial city such as Bradford, but we found lots to take photos of. In fact, we were so busy we didn’t get to any of the pre-match drinking establishments. The inside of the Waterstones is just mental.

And someone had put a Bradford City scarf around the neck of the statue in there. It could have been replaced with a Crawley Town one, but I wouldn’t have made it up there and back down in one piece. They had books on Bradford Park Avenue as well. It’s hard to think they were replaced by Cambridge United on election to/from the league about a month before I was born in 1970.

The plan was for me to get my first programme of the season. Little things and all that. Only Bradford have completely doing programmes as well. So, I have to make do with a photo of the picture in the foyer of our hotel with a selection of their programmes over the last century.

The team coach still had its engine running as we passed it coming down the hill to the ground, perhaps planning a fast getaway.

Meanwhile the fan’s coach was parked behind the other side of the ground and had emptied and had its engine off.

Their pitch is looking quite threadbare – or should that be grass bare? I thought us having sand in one goalmouth was bad enough. If you put sand on their pitch in all the bare spots it would rival Camber Sands for the beach.

The ball was delivered to the centre circle by a little remote-control vehicle. A gimmick left over from noughties Premier League games. Perhaps we could get a little robot on a tricycle to do a similar thing for us?

We are in our nice mint green third kits, which I went to get one of when I got tickets for this game earlier in the week, only for them to have only young child sizes left. Bradford were in their traditional amber and maroon stripes. A guy sits down behind us and promptly points past my ear and tells his wife “I built that stand,” which sounded impressive until his wife replied, “Yes, I know, you tell me that every time we come here” in a thoroughly disinterested voice.

An early chance is dragged wide by Danilo Orsi, in a slow start to the game. Followed not long after by an impressive effort from Corey Addai to launch a ball over the stand we were sat in, for the only ball loss of the game.

There is some decent work after some sustained Crawley pressure, Liam Kelly plays a great ball through to Nick Tsaroulla, whose first time cross from the byline in is headed in from two yards by Orsi to make it 1-0.

Just after the half hour mark there is a ball played over the top of our defence. It looks miles offside, but the lino keeps his flag down and runs with the play. The Bradford striker puts it in to the back of the net, only for the linesman to then put his flag up for the offside. FFS, we haven’t got VAR, put the flag up as soon as they touch the ball instead of giving us all heart attacks.

Bradford are coming forward more and more and five minutes before the break they are one on one with Addai again, the flag doesn’t go up, and Addai makes a great save. Bradford are getting away with a lot more roughhousing now. Half of this team wouldn’t be out of place playing at the Odsal instead.

There are two added minutes at the end of the half, and then the half ends with us leading 1-0. The Bradford sound system seems to have unplugged and speakers near the away end, as we are only catching whispers from the announcements in the home parts of the ground.

The second half starts, but it takes a long time for Crawley to join in. Bradford get a couple of corners, a near miss, Addai goes down needing some treatment, and the ref appears to be turning into a bit of a homer. He has an inane grin plastered to his face as if he is just pleased they’ve let him out on day release. The pressure continues. There is a free kick, a long shot, another Addai save for a corner, Bradford players have taken to throwing themselves to the ground at every opportunity to win something. It certainly wouldn’t be an academy award.

Then we have a breakaway, Tsaroulla is played through by Orsi as he lies in the centre circle, but with a defender chasing him down he goes to the right-hand side of the box before shooting and his shot ends up going straight at the keeper.

Fifteen minutes into the half, the continued pressure from Bradford tells, their number three crosses from the left and it deflects off a Crawley defender and loops over Addai and into the net to make it 1-1. It has been coming.

We have a couple of chances not long after, a Tsaroulla shot is straight at the keeper, and a trademark Will Wright thunderbolt from thirty-five yards out goes over the bar.

The crowd is announced early on, 16,919, with they say 103 away fans. Who the hell was counting us in, Stevie Wonder? There were at least fifty more of us than that.

With seventy-eight minutes gone, there is some messing around trying to clear the ball out from the goal line, a bad touch sees the ball run away, and a Bradford player takes the opportunity to do a running dive over the outstretched leg of a Crawley defender and a penalty is given. Which Addai saves but can’t keep hold of and the taker bundles the rebound in, and we are now losing 1-2. No more than we deserve really for the terrible second half performance so far.

But the goal seems to wake us up. Orsi is in on the keeper and tries to dink it over him to get onto only for the covering defender to clear the ball away. We are trying much harder, but the ball doesn’t seem to stick or fall for us.

Only for there to be some great play from the left-hand side, through the centre of the park, and over to the right where a cross is put in which falls to Adam Campbell and he smacks it in for an equaliser, and it’s 2-2.

Near the halfway there is what looks to be a two footed lunge on Lawrence Maguire, and he is down for a couple of minutes injured. But the decision given by the officials is for a Bradford throw, and then there are three phases of play before the ref waves Maguire back on.

There are eight added minutes, with injuries and goals that isn’t a surprise. And we take advantage. We get a penalty, Tsaroulla is tripped in the area after a ball was played to him by Campbell. It looked soft, but I’m not complaining after some of the other dire decisions the officials have made today. Orsi takes, ignoring all the gamesmanship from the Bradford players, and strokes it into the bottom corner to give us the lead again 3-2. Cue scenes in the away end.

Bradford go down the other end and get a corner and there is breath held, the eight minutes are more than up, and in the ninth minute of eight Crawley break. The decision making is good, the passes are accurate and Klaidi Lolos has a shot which takes a bit of a deflection and goes into the top corner of the net to make it 4-2. Utter pandemonium and delirium in the away end.

The final whistle goes not long after and Crawley has won 4-2. Oh my days. It is the first sway win I’ve been in attendance for, and what a last fifteen minutes of play. A shame much of what went before was pony. But who can’t fail to be overjoyed with a 4-2 away win.

A win that puts us back up to ninth in the table, on the same points as both of the Dons, and only out of the play-off places on goal difference. Get in there.

All that is left now is to find somewhere to get the traditional post-match curry. Which as we all know will be extremely difficult in somewhere like Bradford. (We went to supposedly the oldest curry house in the UK, very nice and ridiculously cheap, starters, mains, and soft drinks for less than £25 for the two of us.)

And then next up is Peterborough United away on Wednesday night in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy. We have a couple of more nights in Bradford before heading down to Peterborough on Tuesday. Let’s get one step closer to Wembley.

Come on you reds.

Not Such A Goldeneye

I had a stye recently. I could feel it coming on and Helen said to me to go to the chemist and ask to speak to the pharmacist to give me something for it. So I did. I went to Kamson’s on Tilgate Parade, where their pharmacist said there was nothing, they could give me and to go away and dab it with a warm cloth several times a day.

Unhappy with this suggestion Helen got me to go the pharmacist at the Kamson’s next to Southgate Medical Practice. I didn’t see a pharmacist there, but the woman behind the counter gave me eye drops straight away, and so I started using them.

That was on the Monday night. Yet by Friday it was obvious the eyedrops weren’t really working and the stye had grown and I now had a yellow pus filled third eye, which I was using to great effect to freak Helen out with.

So, it was another trip, to another chemist and another pharmacist. This time at Saxonbrook in the town centre. He took one look at my eye and gave me some anti-biotic cream to put in the eye. Which is what Helen had hoped I would have got from the first pharmacist if they had been any good.

Anyway, I do love the name of the anti-biotic cream.

Goldeneye. As a Bond fan the film comes to mind. Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Alan Cumming, et al. And each time I got the tube out to put more gunk in my eye I could hear Tina Turner’s dulcet tones singing the theme tune. And although the video game is one of the best known and best loved games of all time, I never thought of that. Mainly as my game playing over the years is limited, due to both a lack of interest and a lack of talent (the latter may well have influenced the former).

Putting the ointment in the eye was interesting. Once the first few millimetres came out of the tube it took on a life of its own and would keep coming out without any pressure being applied to it. which would be fine if it stayed in a line for easy application, but it curled up like a pack of demented quavers and kept coming out. Even shouting ‘stop porridge pot stop’ wouldn’t prevent it, only the lid going back on did.

And once in the eye, that was the cue for at least ten minutes of blurred vision under the film of ointment.

But it worked. The third eye popped and disappeared on day two and by the end of the five days recommended course of treatment, the stye had gone.

The only question I have after that would be if you only need an inch of the ointment four times a day for five days, why after that period is over is the tube still three quarters full when it is expressly stated to throw any remains away? Either make smaller tubes, or have it able to be used more than a five-day period after opening. The waste is massive (and therefore expensive).

Just stop. (and not the porridge pot variety either.)

Ran Out Of Gas

It’s the final game of the four home games in eleven days, and this time it’s Bristol Rovers, a game postponed from December 29^th due to Covid. When the game was originally due to take place, we were one place and one point behind them, with a game in hand. They lost their next game, and we leapfrogged them in the table. Ten weeks later, and they come into tonight’s game six points and four places above us, with a defeat on Saturday being their first loss since New Year’s Day. It’s all about timing.

We had bought extra tickets for Ciaran and Nathan the night before, and I was dropped off on the way home from work to collect the tickets. I also took the opportunity to get a programme, as I knew it was going to be tight for getting back to the game on time. The programme was a bit surprising, it was the one originally made for the postponed game. The date was the same, the reports in it were from games in December, the table was from December, and the squad hadn’t been updated with January moves. I did feel a bit seen off.

Anyway, Bristol Rovers, known as The Gas, but for some reason I seem to remember them being referred to as The Pirates as well. An eye patch is probably a pre-requisite for their players when their manager is around. Joey Barton being well known for having stubbed a cigar out in a team mate’s eye whilst at a Christmas party back in his Manchester City days. (Perhaps that was the reason for the December postponement – they didn’t have enough players who could see at the time).

We weren’t quite as late to the game as we had been last Tuesday, we heard the whistle for kick off, but it takes two minutes to get all the way around the ground to where our turnstile is. We get in as there is a decent chance and a shot just over the bar from the captain. And there is another chance a couple of minutes later. A promising start.

There are a lot of away fans, and as we were walking around the stadium, we could hear them chanting, “we want to go home, we want to go home, Crawley’s a shit hole, we want to go home.” Well, feel free to fuck off any time you want.

A blocked shot during a sustained period of pressure from Bristol Rovers spins out over the Ryan Cantor Club stand for ball loss number one of the day. And we get a breakaway, and Nadesan is through one on one with the keeper only to hit it straight at him, the ball to bounce back and hit Nadesan in the face and go out for a goal kick.

The next time we attack a few minutes later it finishes in a dreadful wayward shot that soars out over the KRL Logistics stand. When (or if) it landed it may well have joined the big red and white concrete football on the roundabout.

There was an injury to a Crawley player in our own penalty area, but even when escorted off the play didn’t restart, and all the players were milling about before the announcement came that there was a delay due to the ref being replaced as he’d injured himself. Cue the biggest cheer of the night from all sides of the ground. The substitution that took place for us saw the return from a long period of injury of Jake Hessenthaler.

In the 39^th minute ball number three sailed over the Mayo Wynne Baxter stand from a miscued (and a half) clearance. And then came the breakthrough. The defence went to sleep expecting an offside call, but the ball was picked up by a player coming from deeper and they ambled into the box and shot past Morris to make it 1-0 to Rovers.

There were eight minutes of injury time indicated at the end of the first half, but more were played, and with it came some of the best Crawley pressure since the early chances at the beginning of the half. For most of the time in between, Rovers had shown why they were on such a good run, and making us look a bit bad.

There was another trip to Redz bar at half time, anything to avoid the imbecilic same playlist coming out of the tinny speakers. And Crawley make another substitution at half time, and it is another return after a long time out with injury, this time it’s Kwesi Appiah, which did add another song to the chanting repertoire for the second half.

We are much more in the game in the second half and it’s a really good game. Twenty minutes into it there’s a poor pass on the edge of the Rovers’ area and they break and score to make it 2-0.

But less than five minutes later we have one back. A corner comes in and bounces around before being poked home by (according to the bloke on the tannoy) Jake Hessenthaler, but what looked to be suspiciously like an own goal from where we were sat.

I said there looked to be a lot of away fans, and this was confirmed by the crowd announcements, there was a crowd of 2,223, with 556 of them being away fans. No wonder they were able to make so much noise. At least Al wasn’t on away fan patrol all game tonight.

A couple of games ago, Morris got a booking for time wasting, but we’ve seen some dreadful time wasting from away teams, especially keepers, and there is no hint of a booking. Rovers’ keeper was just taking the piss for the whole of the second half.

With five minutes to go, ball four finds its way out over the Mayo Wynne Baxter stand after a clearance from a corner. We get a free kick a few yards outside the penalty area and Powell hits the bar with his only good delivery of the night. Despite all the time wasting, numerous injuries and substitutions there are only three minutes of injury time. But what were we left to expect from the ref who blatantly body checked a Crawley player two yards away from being able to make a tackle, and then when the ball hit him, didn’t restart with the required drop ball, but instead passed to a Rovers’ player and waved play on?

Perhaps we should stop laying on the spread of food for the officials before the match and tell them to fuck off and buy their own down the Barton.

The sponsor’s man of the match was announced as Will Ferry. And then the twat in charge of music played “Boys Don’t Cry” again. Perhaps we ought to chip in a few quid for him to buy some new tunes.

We have an away game this weekend, and then we are going to miss the following weekend’s home game against Swindon Town as we will be in Budapest, so the next game will be against Rochdale at the end of the month.

More Crawley Observations

I’m out early on a Saturday morning. It’s a writing group day which means there is always going to be a Maccy D’s breakfast involved. And being in town before nine in the morning means I get one of my cherished window seats so I can watch what is going on in the world outside.

The market – as it is – is already set out and awaiting customers. But Crawley isn’t really an early bird kind of town and there isn’t much footfall. Most of the passers-by are picking up food to be delivered – Deliveroo, Just Eat, Uber Eats, Too Fucking Lazy To Get It Yourself? (that last one’s name may not catch on) – both from Maccy D’s and Greggs next door.

The stall opposite where I am looking out is selling watches, sunglasses, and mobile related items. All at cheap knock-off style prices, and has a couple of big signs saying, “Cash Only,” so it isn’t dodgy in the slightest, is it? I’m intrigued that in one of the trays of sunglasses on display there appears to be a pair with the Maccy D’s logo on them. It takes me longer than it should to realise it’s reflecting the logo from the Maccy D’s I’m sat in. I’m not going to lie. I’m not quite at full capacity this early in the morning.

The mall is nearly empty and WH Smith has more people on tills than there are customers in the shop. Something that is unheard of as they are usually trying to shepherd you to the useless self-service tills instead of serving you. Perhaps it’s too early for them to be pretending to look busy elsewhere in the shop.

I then jump to after the Crawley game and our now traditional post-match curry at The Downsman. When we were there last week, they closed the main men’s toilets due to flooding. They were still closed due to flooding when we went in this evening. I went to the other toilet in the pub, only to find that they weren’t going to be long in being open before they too were closed to flooding, mainly due to the fact that the inbreeds in there were incapable of hitting the urinals.

From where I was sat, I could see the door of the closed toilets, with the sign on the door saying they were closed due to flooding. Now, if I wasn’t at full capacity early in the morning whilst in Maccy D’s, then there were loads of blokes nowhere near full capacity in the early evening in the Downsman.

At least half a dozen of them walk up to the door, push it several times, look confused as to why the door isn’t opening, and then look up at the sign on the door as if it had suddenly appeared since they had tried pushing the door. If there was a camera on the door then there would be a great gallery of gormless looking morons. At least one of them did it twice. Not a single one looked at the notice first, every single one of them tried the door first and then read the notice.

For all the use it is, the notice might have well read,

“If you notice this notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.”