Spurs – onetruekev

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

The new Premier League season starts tomorrow, and I’m trying to dredge up the slightest bit of enthusiasm for it, and failing miserably. If Covid has taught me one thing, it’s that I’m not very interested in football anymore. The signs have been on the door for a number of years, but it has been somewhat masked by the fact that for a number of seasons, Tottenham were punching above their weight, playing some really good football and getting into the Champions League, even getting to the final in the season before last. But as usual, we haven’t won anything.

For the last few years, my preseason prediction for how Spurs will do during the season have ended up seeming quite pessimistic. We’ve done better in the league than predicted and got further in the cups and European Competitions. Last year I was about spot on, but not in the way I expected. I didn’t see Poch getting the sack, and I certainly didn’t see that evil little hobgoblin Mourinho becoming our manager. The same tosser who, whilst at Chelsea said he wouldn’t manage Spurs if they were the last club on earth. What a shame the poisonous tw@t can’t stick to his word.

I’ve not had Sky Sports for a couple of years, as I’ve not been bothered about watching games. And midway through last season the magical little free BT Sports that had been running for years finally gave up the ghost as they realised, I wasn’t a subscriber. During the extended mid-season break due to Covid, I didn’t miss the football at all. When the season restarted and they put some games on Freeview I did have a couple on, mainly as background noise.

All this time I’m hearing chief imbecile of the anti-football brigade moaning how he hadn’t had preseason with the team and so hadn’t managed to get them playing as he wanted. Well, I watched the game against Bournemouth, as the only game that was on Freeview with Spurs in, and he had certainly had time with the squad by then. And they were effing awful. No pace, no style, unable to string more than a couple of passes together, they were pitiful. I still have no idea how a team as bad as Spurs were last season managed to qualify for Europe, and finish above Arsenal (who at least won a trophy and now the charity shield).

The brief off season hasn’t inspired confidence. We’ve made a couple of signings, but they don’t scream “We’re going to make the team better.” I mean, for crying our loud, one of them was Joe Hart. He may have been good ten years ago, but ever since he made those embarrassing Head and Shoulders adverts, he’s been useless, and drummed out of more clubs than Keith Moon. Yes, we need a replacement for Lloris, who is far too prone to a rush of blood to the head, but Hart isn’t it. Speaking of Lloris, it is a disgrace that he’s still the club captain, he should have lost that title as soon as the charges for drink driving were known, but it’s just a sign of how much Levy doesn’t give a shit about the fans. A process that ended up with us having Mourinho the anti-football Christ as our manager.

I had to laugh when there was the big announcement of our third kit. It’s a cr@ppy lemon colour, and the players look embarrassed to be modelling it. At least it does mean that in some games this season we will look like lemons as well as playing like them.

So, what do I think we’ll do this season then?

League – Scrape in to the top ten, 9^th at best.

Carabao Cup – 3^rd round exit

FA Cup – 3^rd round exit

Europa League – Fail to reach the group stages

Kane to score twenty goals again, but to have six weeks out with a knee or ankle injury sometime after Christmas, which he’ll want to rush back from and the simpering fools at the club will pander to and so he’ll be deadwood for six games as usual. I hope he isn’t injured, but if it does happen, please just say no to him, don’t let him back near a pitch until fully fit, unless it’s in the reserves.

Followed by Mourinho leaving (if this could be brought forward to Christmas it would be great), and the sale of anyone that a half decent team might be interested in, which after the turgid season in store for the team won’t be many.

What A Load Of Rubbish

For the first time since the season had restarted, Spurs were playing a game that was on Freeview. On the return from Penrith I turned the game on. It was shocking, and so I made a list of things that annoyed me during the game.

Why wear the away kit when the home kit doesn’t clash at all? Especially as it seems there is something about the all pale blue kit that is clearly soothing or soporific.
Piped in fake crowd noise can’t be turned off on Pick. Shut up, it’s like a swarm of mosquitoes constantly buzzing in your ear. Whoever thought it would add excitement needs their head examining.
Sissoko – as said who knows how many times before, why? Just why?
Mourinho – any style, any flowing play that Spurs had previously has gone out of the window. The arch whiny tw@t was moaning before lockdown that he hadn’t had enough time with the players to get his system across. Now with an equivalent amount of time to pre-season to do so, they’re worse than before. Having no crowds is doing the crowds a favour, who’d pay to see this rubbish anyway?
Aurier – I’ve moaned about Sissoko being useless, but this tw@t shouldn’t be playing top level football (insert your own joke about Tottenham not being top level here). He can’t defend or tackle, he’s a red card waiting to happen and he couldn’t cross his eyes, let alone a bl00dy football.
Lamela – Now I can’t say he isn’t fired up, however he looks on the edge of going postal at any moment and mowing down half the opposition. If he could pass or shoot anywhere as near as well as he can be snarky or kick opponents, he’d be a world beater.
General play – or the lack of it. Playing against a team that hasn’t won since the restart or kept a clean sheet this century and it was us who were looking like we were in the relegation zone not them. Now I knew we were in our away kit, but we don’t have any kits that contain red or black, so FFS, stop passing to players who are wearing them.
Drinks breaks – oh just eff off. Especially after a nine minute break for an injury.
VAR – see above. Yes it may well even itself out, but Bournemouth should have kept their goal, it would have served the insipid crock of sh1te that was masquerading as a Spurs side right. And it may cost Bournemouth their place in the Premier League.
And we have to play Arsenal at the weekend. Sh1te, eff, b0ll0cks, eff, sh1te. That will be embarrassing.

The above was written about five minutes after the game ended, and doesn’t date well. We managed to beat Arsenal, and then turn Leicester over and have qualified for the hell that is the Europa League next season. But even they weren’t great performances; we had less than thirty percent of possession against Leicester despite winning 3-0. Then Aurier’s brother was shot and killed (rumours that they shot the wrong brother are unsubstantiated) so it may seem a bit harsh to criticise, but this was before that incident.

If a big club would like to come in and take Mourinho off our hands over the short summer break, that would be great, just leave Kane where he is thanks.

The Pre Pre-Season Preview

Well, it was when I started writing this, but as I kept stopping to do other things and to write other pieces it’s taken me past he point where the pre-season has started.

It’s been less than two months since the Champions League final and Spurs’ insipid performance there. The last three months of last season were filled with such performances as we limped into fourth place in the league and fluked our way into the Champions League final. And now I’m looking ahead to what the new season will bring.

Anyone who knows me, or has read my pre-season blog posts before will know I’m not the most optimistic supporter. How can I be having been a Spurs supporter for forty odd (very odd) years. I’m quite realistic. Something that I don’t have in common with a lot of other Spurs fans or the knee-jerk sensationalists in the media. I don’t think I’ve ever gone in to a season thinking that we will win a trophy.

And guess what people, that isn’t going to change this year.

The summer has been somewhat less frantic than last year, with no resource heavy summer tournaments for the majority of the squad this time around. Not only that, but we have actually signed someone this season, after two buying free transfer windows we signed two players on the same day at the start of the month. Granted we loaned one straight back to Leeds, but it was a step in the right direction.

We have also been making sales. Trippier to Atletico Madrid was a bit of a surprise. However I’m not particularly sad to see him go, his performances faded as the season went on, almost as if he believed his own hype after the World Cup. Not sure what we are going to do about a replacement, Aurier and Walker-Peters don’t fill me with confidence, but Forth may fit the roll. As long as he can stay on the pitch and away from the penalty area.

It is likely that Danny Rose will also be leaving. His performances over the last month of the season showed what a good player he can be. He was easily our best player during that period, but he can be a liability. He gets involved in too much aggro, and falls over very easily. Something him and several other players need to cut out this season as VAR kicks in. (Alli, Son, Kane, Lamela, I’m looking at you.)

There may be others leaving, and although there are plenty of rumours of new signings, I’m not going to hold my breath that there will be any amazing incomings before the start of the season.

I’m not hopeful of the top four this season, I think we’ll end up just outside in fifth. After predicted seventh and sixth for the last two seasons, and finishing third and fourth respectively, I might just meet myself in the middle this time.

Thankfully there are no Champions League qualifiers to be played, or we could have been in the Europa League before we started. I’ve predicted us to go out at the group stage for the last two years, and I was set to make that a hat trick of pessimistic predictions, but I will say I think we’ll just about scrape out of the group, only to go out in the round of sixteen.

We got to the semi-finals of the Carabao Cup last year, more by luck than judgement, only to go out on penalties in the first season they did away with the away goals rule. I can’t see us getting to the semi-final this year. Too much messing with the team selections and getting knocked out by teams taking it more seriously, which is a shame as it is a real opportunity to try and win something.

I got the fourth round exit in the FA Cup spot on. I can see us getting further this year, but losing out in the semi-finals for the ninth time on the trot in the competition.

We will have good runs during the season, and there will be a lot of over optimistic chat about winning things. We won’t. Mainly because there will be those appallingly bad runs that hit us. Most people call it February.

Then the inevitable will happen and Harry Kane will pick up an ankle knock and the reports will say he’ll be out for six weeks. Then he’ll be back in three and play despite being not fully fit.

We did this twice last year. He is a very good, prolific goal scorer, but he isn’t the be all and end all of the team. We went on very good winning runs without him in the team. Coming back early from injury meant trying to shoe horn him into the team when he wasn’t able to play at his natural best. When fully fit he should be in the team. He scores lots of goals, he holds the line well, and brings other players into play. He has a much more rounded game than he is given credit for. But only when fully fit.

I admire his will to try and get back playing as soon as possible. But he doesn’t do the team, or himself, any favours when he does. The manager needs to be stronger and say no. Let him get his full fitness and match fitness back by playing in the reserves, or coming on as a late sub. Don’t start him just because he is Harry Kane and the captain of England. And if the manager doesn’t feel able to do this, then perhaps it’s time for a new manager. It might also help if some of his team mates have a word. He might get carried away a bit the first few games of the season after scoring from the half way line in the first pre-season friendly win over Juventus.

It is likely to be an interesting season. VAR is going to make a difference. I’ll admit that it could hit us hard, as there have been some borderline decisions for penalties and free kicks where players have gone to ground too easily. Liverpool and Arsenal have been called out for this as well. The new handball rules could see a sudden increase in penalties and sending offs and make games more unpredictable.

I see it being close at the top again, but think it will end up the same as it did last season. Manchester City will pip Liverpool to the title again, and claim a hat trick of title wins. Chelsea will overcome their transfer ban and begin to use some of the vast array of talent they have out there on loan. Arsenal will be more settled, and despite mutterings of there not being much money for transfers they have been doing reasonable business, and they are likely to pip us for fourth.

Anything better than I have predicted for us will be a bonus to my mind, and for those that think it’s not good enough, just remember, there are eighty seven other league clubs who would snatch your whole arm off if you said they would get fifth spot in the Premier League.

Don’t be greedy, enjoy the good games, celebrate the wins, and ignore the critics trying to tear the team down. They weren’t interested when we were so rubbish we had a back four of Austin, Nethercott, Doherty and Edinburgh, so if they are interested now, then Spurs must be doing something right.

Miracles Do Happen

Oh my giddy aunt. Where to start on that game last night? I suppose I should have a look at what I predicted Spurs would do before the season started. I predicted we would struggle, I had us finishing sixth in the league, out in the group stage in the Champions League, and out in the fourth round in both domestic cups.

To be fair, I wasn’t that far away from it, the only reason Spurs are still fourth after an abysmal run of form is that Arsenal and Manchester United have been just as bad, if they had put a couple of wins together in the last month we would be sixth. The FA Cup was spot on, out in the fourth round. And in the Champions League we were eleven minutes away from going out after losing the first two group games and drawing the third.

Being 1-0 down after the first leg at home meant I didn’t have high expectations for the second leg away at Ajax. Ajax have been playing some wonderful football this season and have beaten Real Madrid and Juventus so far this year. Spurs have been playing as if they were blind for the last two months and have lost seven away games on the bounce.

It was a big mountain to climb, but the game the previous night showed that pretty much anything can happen, as Liverpool overcame a 3-0 first leg deficit against Barcelona with a stunning 4-0 victory.

It didn’t start well, Spurs were a goal down within five minutes and it seemed nothing would go right when Son hit the post and the ball ran across the open goal area out of reach of any Spurs player. We were creating chances but doing nothing with them, and our defence was looking creaky as the Ajax players attacked with pace and poise, threatening to score almost any time they crossed the halfway line.

And then they did, Trippier at fault again. It’s difficult to say whether it is just the weariness from last summer’s world cup catching up with him (and numerous other players), that he’s phoning it in because he now believes the hype generated about him from the world cup and the start of the season, or he’s just actually shit, but he has been a liability in the last couple of months. Spurs were down 2-0 five minutes before half time and 3-0 on aggregate. It seemed we were dead and buried.

It looked like there was going to be another semi-final defeat, the second of the season, having gone out on penalties in the Carabao cup after the rules were changed this season to scrap the away goals rule, something that we would have won on if still in place, and something that allowed us to overcome Manchester City in the Champions League quarter finals (well, along with VAR). After all, semi-final defeats are becoming Spurs’ speciality.

Then as if by magic it all started to change. A goal appeared from nowhere. Deli Alli ran at the defence, but it seemed he had pushed the ball too far ahead of himself, but Lucas Moura put on the afterburners, ran on the the ball and slotted it into the corner.

Four minutes later and it looked as if the miracle could be on. Trippier finally did something useful and crossed a great ball to Llorente who must score, only for the Ajax keeper to pull off two stunning saves. But the ball bounced loose and Moura picked it up, danced around with quick feet, spun and shot through a gap in the Ajax defence that didn’t seem to be there and it was now 2-2 on the night with still half an hour to play.

Could we really do this?

Ajax looked nervy now in defence, and Spurs piled forward at every opportunity trying to get that third goal which would be enough to put them through to the final on the away goals rule. In doing so they were leaving themselves open to the counter attack and they nearly paid the price on several occasions, Lloris made a couple of decent saves, Ajax struck the post, and a chance was put wide when it seemed it was easier to hit the target. Nervous times all round.

Then we had a corner with less than five minutes of normal time left. Vertonghen rose and sent a powerful header against the bar. It rebounded to him and his follow up shot was cleared off the line. Was that the moment? Would we get another chance?

Five minutes of extra time was shown and three minutes into we get another corner, only for Llorente’s header to sail harmlessly over the bar. That was surely the last chance gone. Ajax’s keeper got booked for time wasting as he took 41 seconds to take the resulting goal kick.

As the ball went up the pitch and made its way to Lloris at the other end there was only 10 seconds of the extra time left. A pass out to a defender, and a hoof up towards Llorente who knocked it down into the path of Alli. He poked it through into a gap that was surely too close to the two Ajax defenders. But Moura put the afterburners on again and got his toe to the ball first and his shot left his boot with just two seconds left. Time seemed to stand still as the ball rolled under the despairing dive of the Ajax keeper and into the corner of the net.

Cue absolute fucking scenes. Gutted Ajax players dropped to the turf all over the pitch. A huge pile of Spurs players, substitutes, management and anyone else connected with the club that could make to the corner flag appeared.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about any goal I’ve seen in my life. A sense of amazement, joy, disbelief, happiness, triumph, ecstasy and “did that really happen” all mixed together. I’m still not sure it’s fully sunk in just how immense that was.

It took two minutes for the restart to happen, and there would be at least another thirty seconds to play due to the time added on for time wasting in extra time when Ajax did kick off. Enough time to have kittens, and for those kittens to have kittens of their own as Ajax got the ball into the Spurs box twice, but then the ball broke to Sissoko and off he went running with the ball all the way up the pitch (as he had done several times in this Champions League run – thought I’m still not convinced he was worth £30 million) only to be fouled near the Ajax box. Instead of a free kick the ref blew the full time whistle and it was all over.

If I had been sat there watching it by myself I would have been of the opinion that I’d dreamt the whole thing. But there were other witnesses. It really did happen. Spurs have made it to the Champions League final for the first time. Something I never thought I would see in my lifetime.

We may well have the worst record of any club to have reached a Champions League Final. We may have rode our luck, we have been outplayed by Barcelona, Manchester City and Ajax. But, somehow, we have managed to pull out performances and results when it has mattered most and now we are going to be playing Liverpool in Madrid on the 1st June.

Where in my realistic mode, there is more than a good chance that we will live up to the tag of underdogs, and the one of perennial bottlers and lose without a whimper.

But damn, what a ride.

Back to mid table obscurity

It’s not been a bad few seasons as a Spurs fan. Not compared with the – on the whole – mediocracy that has been the case for nigh on forty years. It’s what, as a realistic supporter I’ve come to expect. Three top three finishes is more than they’ve had in the last forty years put together.

But I’m even more worried as this season approaches than I was last year. Spurs far exceeded expectations last season. I though playing at Wembley would be a millstone around their necks, that they would finish seventh, go out of all the cups in the first game played, and go out of the Champions’ League at the group stage, even before the draw was made. Finishing third was a surprise, getting out of the group stage was a bonus, and another losing FA Cup semi-final was more than expected. The only one I got right was the exit in the Carabao Cup in the first game vs West Ham, throwing away a two goal lead to lose 3-2. Wembley wasn’t as bad as it could have been, we lost the same amount of games there as we did in our proper designated away games.

However I see no reason for optimism for the forthcoming season. There are five reasons for this.

The World Cup. Nine of what would be our starting eleven started World Cup games last weekend. There is no way that they will be ready to play at the start of the season, mentally or physically. A three week holiday before a single week of pre-season isn’t enough, especially for players who were looking jaded before lengthy World Cup runs.
No transfers in. Unless they have been so far under the radar that no news agency has reported them. All I’ve seen are more lengthy contract extensions. Good for keeping important players at the club, but with all other clubs buying players, Spurs needed to have been buying players already this summer. Leaving it until the last minute of the English transfer window is madness. Which is linked to…
Players leaving. Two of the first team seem destined to leave no matter what. There are no replacements, and with the transfer window for the rest of Europe not closing until well after the English one does, there is plenty of time for those payers to be picked off at will, with no chance to get replacements in as the window is closed for Spurs to get replacements.
A New Stadium. Yes, it’s still called White Hart Lane, but it an entirely new build. Due to gross incompetence, we will also be playing out first home game of the season at Wembley, before eventually having a proper home game in the middle of September. Regardless of the team playing, it takes time to bed down in a new stadium. It doesn’t feel properly like home for a couple of years, and no one can be sure what the atmosphere would be like. Arsenal struggled to bed in themselves, but they had the advantage that their players had been winning trophies before they moved.
Mentality. Spurs can’t get over that hump. It’s so long since they’ve won a trophy, it’s like an invisible wall in front of them. There is no doubting that the manager and the team have improved leaps and bounds in the last five years, but they’ve still won nothing, and when the pressure comes down, they always look lost. I don’t think Mauricio Pochettino can get them over that hump. Another semi-final loss, five minutes of madness against Juventus, things that could have been dealt with if there was a proven winning manager in charge. But there isn’t. Much as I may dislike him, Jose Mourhino would have won something with this Spurs squad.

So where do I think this leaves Spurs for the coming season? Struggling to finish sixth, and probably a distance behind the top five. The rest of last year’s top six have strengthened, other sides in the Premier League have spent money and won’t have European action to distract them. Unless there is some drastic action in the next couple of weeks, Spurs just won’t have a squad capable of playing in Europe and the Premier League. They will probably sacrifice the Carabao Cup and go out in the first game. If they are struggling by the new year, the FA Cup will go out of the window, and when they drop down to the Europa League after finishing third in their Champions’ League group, there won’t be much effort made to get through in that competition either. A run of games at the end of the season to get some points will see us scrape sixth, and then the exodus starts big time. Back to years of struggling, bouncing between sixth and twelfth.

And I’ll still be supporting, expecting the worse, but hoping, just for a change, that everything goes right.