I was quite undecided about what to use as a title for this piece, there was the allure of using The Kinks as Ray Davies used to live in Borehamwood in the sixties when they were at their height. With the train station being Elstree & Borehamwood then there were films or movies galore I could have used. And then last night we were at a Psychedelic Furs gig at the London Palladium, so I could shoehorn one of their tracks in as a title. With the Eastenders studios here I could have gone with Anita Dobson’s “Anyone Can Fall In Love”. Or as one hit wonder Marilyn grew up here there was “Calling Your Name” to consider as well. But they are Boreham Wood, and we are “A Forest” by The Cure. Or, as the game turned out, we can’t see the wood for the trees.
Quiz Time answer – Bristol Rovers are one of six sides to have lost multiple EFL Trophy finals but have never won it. One of those other five is in League Two this season, name them – Shrewsbury Town.
Bonus quiz time, seeing as we were playing the gas, having many gases have I managed to sledgehammer into this piece (may be as the whole word, part of a word, or split across two)? 10 – methane, oxygen, hydrogen, krypton, argon, neon, acetylene, nitrogen, laughing gas, and boron.
And I did remember what my other song title was going to be, I was going to go for Fools’ Gold by the Stone Roses, as fool’s gold is the colloquial name for iron pyrites (pirates).
Now that former boss Steve Evans has time on his hands after shedding loads of weight and not managing, he’s started doing a weekly column in the Football League Paper. And speaking of newspapers, Grant (him of the ever-popular fan cam fame) had six of his photographs from last Saturday’s game used in the various pieces in the Crawley Observer this week.
There is a bit of squad crossover. Tola Showunmi started his youth career at Boreham Wood and was there for two seasons (in the same youth squad as Muhammad Faal), and Kabby Tshimanga spent two seasons there, and went back there on loan from Peterborough last year. On the other side Boreham Wood have Jack Payne who played for us in the 2022-23 season before going to them from us (he’s also their assistant manager now), and they have Aaron Henry who was on loan to us from Charlton Athletic in the 2023-24 season. There is something about our Crawley strikers also playing at Boreham Wood, as last season they also had Kwesi Appiah who went to them in our clear out of 2023. Danilo Orsi also played for them in 2022 before going to Grimsby and then on to us. And Ollie Palmer spent time on loan there long before he came to us. And they have had their celebrity players as well; they will take our Mark Wright and throw in Jeff Brazier and Bradley Walsh.
There is only the one previous game against Boreham Wood, a third round FA Trophy game at the Broadfield in February 2006, which saw us lose 2-0. Going into this game Boreham Wood are fourth in the National League, which means in real terms they are only five places behind us in the league structure. They lost last weekend against Forest Green Rovers, a game which brought a thirteen-game unbeaten stream to an end, where we broke our winless streak.
And with only one game against them, then there is only the one programme, which I have managed to find, despite the game taking place two months before I moved to Crawley in April 2006.
Scott Lindsey has picked up a touchline ban for this game for abusing officials after the Shrewsbury Town away loss. Meanwhile the error strewn officials are off screwing up someone else’s afternoon as we speak.
As I’ve nothing better to be doing during the week I’d built a spreadsheet comparing the current season with the 2022-23 one where we struggled at the wrong end of the table all season. After fourteen games we are on the same points as back then.
(NB it’s not true, I had literally hundreds of things that would have been better uses of my time, or that I should have been doing, but my brain doesn’t want to do anything it usually does and is finding time wasting diversions to fill the void of can’t be arsed instead.)
With Boreham Wood only ever being a non-league side, I was struggling for football cards. Even finding someone on a card who might have played for them was coming up blank, so the closest I got was the fact that Tim Sherwood was born there, and there are 90-91 and 91-92 Proset cards from his time at Norwich City, what is most interesting to me is that on both it lists his place of birth as being St Albans.
I had a leisurely journey up from Blackfriars this morning after staying in London last night after the Psychedelic Furs gig. It gave me time to have a wander down to Elstree village, which is lovely, before coming back to Borehamwood where all the world-famous Elstree film studios are actually located. The roads are lined with plaques to the luminaries of the film world. I’m not sure about so many of them being to Hammer films and their main stars is a good sign, we could do without a horror show today.
And I hope the last of the plaques seen on the way to the ground isn’t a sign either. We really don’t need a muppet show today either.
Had a mooch in the charity shops, you’d expect them to be full of film and TV related books and memorabilia, but there’s nothing. This book was on prominent display in one of them though.
And I did find a random football related book.
I got to the ground a few minutes before the team coach did. The players have to go up through the same away entrance as the fans do, so we had to wait for the players to get in before the fans were allowed in.
It’s a decent enough ground for non-league and shows their aspirations towards league football. It’s better than Harrogate’s ground was a couple of years ago, and anything would be an improvement on Barrow. Although as kick off time approached the sun of earlier disappeared and rain rolled in and it’s noted that the away terrace is uncovered. And Arsenal ladies play here, the number of Arsenal signs around the ground are giving me hives.
They don’t do a physical programme but there is an online PDF version which is decent enough. It includes an article on top strikers since the Second World War, written by the same person who did the defenders one which was in the Shrewsbury Town programme a couple of weeks ago.
Boreham Wood are in all white and we are in our all black third kit. There are no changes to the side which beat Bristol Rovers 4-0 last weekend.
A reasonable start and Geraldo Bajrami is attempting to tip toe through defenders on the edge of the box and is brought down. Muted claims for a free kick/penalty are waved away. There are a couple of attempted crosses which drift out for goal kicks.
Max Anderson picks up a booking for preventing a quick free kick in midfield. When taken it’s worked well and a fizzing cross hits Dion Conroy on the head and goes for a corner.
A ball in midfield is played back by Anderson but it’s too strong for Josh Flint, a Boreham Wood player beats Conroy’s attempted tackle and there are three in the box with time and space to beat JoJo Wollacott in goal and we trail 0-1.
And Wollacott is having no difficulty launching long balls forward, but most are too long and too straight and going to the Boreham Wood keeper, and some players are showing frustration with him.
A long ball down the right and Conroy makes a challenge on the edge of the box and brings the player down and the ref points to the spot and books Conroy. The penalty is dinked down the middle and we trail 0-2.
We go long down the right and Ryan Loft harries the keeper into skying the ball over the side of the stadium. The throw is worked into the box, and we get a corner, Boreham Wood break, their number 7 is miles offside but waved on, and a shot goes wide. We put ball two out over the stand on the other side.
A long diagonal ball from Conroy is flicked out for a corner. It’s played low to Conroy, and his shot is blocked and cleared. Any half decent attack is coming to an end with us committing a stupid foul.
Kyle Scott and Scott Malone combine down left, and Malone’s cross is just taken off Louis Watson’s toes for a corner. It’s taken deep and Charlie Barker heads back across, but it drifts out wide. Another ball down the left and Malone crosses deep and it’s turned behind for a corner which is taken short and wasted.
Whoever is sat two rows behind me is making TAFKAL look like an amateur with the constant barracking of the officials.
We have a spell of possession in the Boreham Wood half, playing left to right and back to Gavan Holohan for a shot which takes half a block and loops up for the keeper to collect easily.
Barker picks up a booking for something on the next Boreham Wood attack. There is a big ironic cheer when the lino puts his flag up for offside. A ball down the Boreham Wood right sees Flint beaten for pace and there are two on one, it’s played across and a great save from Wollacott keeps the score down. The Boreham Wood number 7 beats Flint for pace again and gets a ball into the box and a shot goes wide.
We have another of those attacks where we play the ball back and forth across the edge of the area before a Watson shot goes straight to the keeper. There is a lot of possession in and around the box but a reluctance to shoot. Boreham Wood have no such qualms, they break quickly and a shot goes just wide. We go back up the other end as two added minutes are announced and do more of the same. Holohan is down with a head injury, Loft careers into a challenge and gets a yellow. He then appears to nut someone in the aftermath and gets a straight red.
Stupid, just stupid. He may have been hard done by, by shit reffing at Harrogate but this one is all him. Although, not defending him, but there is the question of why the ref hadn’t stopped play for the head injury before Loft made the initial idiotic challenge.
We’re down to ten men and this is looking proper fucked now, the half time whistle goes and we trail 0-2. The plaques in the town have combined with this being a horror show with us playing like muppets.
There are two substitutions at half time with Louie Flower and Kaheim Dixon coming on for Scott and Bajrami. There’s an early chance for Boreham Wood, but the shot goes over the bar, and there’s a booking for a Boreham Wood player for pulling Watson back as he tries to break.
Boreham Wood are using their man advantage well and are keeping possession and look dangerous every time they attack. A chance to break and there’s a coming together on the right wing, when both players get up the ref gives Boreham Wood the free kick and books Flower, both decisions are taking the piss and the ref must have an over/under bet on how many yellow cards Crawley get this afternoon.
Another Boreham Wood attack sees another shot, just wide. We play it down the right and Watson back heels it through to Holohan who gets a cross in which is headed up and caught by the keeper, who then runs deliberately into Malone and goes down “injured”. Fortunately, the ref doesn’t buy the blatant attempt to get Malone sent off but does buy the “injury”.
Holohan is subbed off with Harry Forster coming on in his place. His first involvement is down the right, and his cross is scrambled away. He combines with Dixon down the right and on to Anderson whose cross is put out for a corner which goes out before getting to the middle.
There’s a booking for a Boreham Wood player for squaring up to Malone after winning a throw. When it’s taken it is worked over to the left to a Boreham Wood player twenty yards clear of any marking and he curls a shot round Wollacott and it’s now 0-3.
Which prompts a couple of Crawley fans to confront and abuse the bench as a female steward struggles to drag them away.
From the restart Boreham Wood are nearly in again but the shot is wide. There are more subs, Dion Pereira and Reece Brown come on to replace Malone and Watson. There’s a free kick to Boreham Wood, no one apart from the ref has any idea what for. Forster picks up a booking in midfield which must have been for the intent in the sliding challenge as there was no contact.
There are five added minutes to get through. This includes a couple of Boreham Wood corners and a crossed ball which looked as if Flint got the touch to it which saw it hit the post. It’s all Boreham Wood and the final whistle is a godsend. (If there was such a thing as god that was.)
We have lost 0-3, and on the whole that flattered us. And the players make a quick escape back to the changing rooms. As far as I’m concerned Boreham Wood then rubbed the salt in by playing “Hey Jude”, I hate that fucking song.
We are out of the FA Cup at the first hurdle, but at least the score doesn’t affect our goal difference in the league. The crowd was announced as being 1,536 with 501 of those being away supporters being thoroughly miserable.
I stopped for a curry on the way back to the station meant there was something good from the day, as it has been so many times this season, a decent day out is ruined by two hours of agony shoehorned into the middle of it. In fact the mood of the day was directly in line with the weather, it being nice and bright pretty much all the way up to kick off and then the fucking rain started.
I hadn’t realised until I was adding the photos to this that I’d caught the ref bending down to pick up the coin after the coin toss, as some might say he was down there looking for his contact lenses.
Quiz time, as it’s an FA Cup game and it was against non-league opposition, then the question is, since the Football League was founded in 1888, which club is the only one to have won the FA Cup whilst being at non-league level?
It’s back to league action next weekend with the visit of Fleetwood Town to the Broadfield, and a desperate need to play better than today, to be more disciplined than today, and for crying out loud to take a fucking shot on instead of trying to pass the opposition to sleep, and for a novelty, how about some solid defending.
Come on you reds.