Tag: Match Report

Motor Mania

Well, it is the Bristol Street Motors Trophy, and it is good to dig out some of the lesser-known songs from 1983. This Roman Holliday track was one of my favourites of that year, but wasn’t a big hit, only scraping its way to number forty. Although on seeing the squad numbers for the opposition this evening I was tempted to go for I’m The Face or Zoot Suit by The High Numbers, but I’ve already used a Who title this season.

It was a good weekend, with an away win over Cambridge United seeing us climb to third in the league, and a draw between Bolton and Wrexham on Sunday meant we stayed there after all the weekend’s fixtures had been completed. FSS initially put the highlights for that game in the League Two section, continuing their inept start to the season and the new TV deal.

In the aftermath of the win, and the smoke flares (which not only caused damage to Cambridge’s pitch but also to other Crawley fans’ clothing and skin), the club have reiterated their condemnation of the use of smoke bombs. Expect even more security checks incoming.

And looking at the foot of the League Two table Saturday night I was amused to see that the bottom two were the teams we beat in last season’s playoffs. Looks like we’ve ruined them then.

Another Tuesday night, another cup game, but a different competition this time around, as it’s the first game in the group stages of the Bristol Street Motors Trophy. We had a decent run in the competition last year, winning our group, and getting to the knockout stages for only the second time since the competition introduced the group stages ten years ago. We also won our first knockout game since the change before losing to eventual winners Peterborough United. The only other time we got out of the group stage we also lost to the eventual winners (Coventry City). So, if we make it out of the group and lost in the knockout stages, everyone will know who to bet on to win the trophy.

We are playing Brighton & Hove Albion U21s, the first time we have played this particular lot of under 21s (or formerly under 23s), and a change from Aston Villa’s who we’ve played the previous two seasons. Despite it being an under 21s side, they could actually play a side with no one under the age of 21. They have to play six players who were under 21 on the 30th of June, and therefore who could all have had birthdays since then, of the others they can have a maximum of two players who are aged over 21 and have also made forty or more senior appearances, so technically speaking they could play Lewis Dunk and James Milner, which makes a bit of a mockery of it being an under 21s side.

For League One and League Two teams I didn’t realise there are limits to how weak a side they can put out. They must have four ‘qualified’ outfield players. Although ‘qualified’ is quite broad. It includes any player who started the previous (or following) first-team fixture (not sure if they have Mystic Meg checking who is going to play the next game). Or any player who is in the top ten players at the club who has made the most starting appearances in league and domestic cup competitions this season. Or any player with forty or more first-team starting appearances in their career, including International matches. Or any player on loan from a Premier League club or any EFL Category One Academy club. Which, at this stage of the season probably means we can play who the hell we want.

Tickets have gone on sale today for next Tuesday night’s game away against the full Brighton side. There have been queues, both on the phone and at the ground for the season ticket holders to get their tickets before the 3,180 allocation go on general sale on Thursday. A job for me for tomorrow when I’m not in the office and can pop to the stadium.

Popping to the stadium always seemed more hurried when trying to get there for an evening kick off after a day in the office in Hove, the morning rain has gone away, and it is still daylight as we head to the ground, even if it will be properly dark before we leave.

Haven’t seen any sight of our mate Al stewarding before today, and there has been no sign of Reggie the Red at our home games yet either. Which makes me wonder whether the latter is depending on the former for a lift to the ground, or are they the same person?

Getting there later does mean I can pick a team sheet up, and from it I can see we’ve only named four outfield subs. The squad contains neither Fish nor Faal. Again. I’m not sure when, or if, I’ll tire of that pun. We are all in red, and BHA are in their traditional Tesco carrier bag kits. The officials have come dressed as a pack of Stabilo Boss yellow highlighters.

We are a bit slow out of the blocks, I’m wondering if there was some pre-match napping going on. Eddie Beach had a couple of early attempted clearances blocked by a BHA striker, but fortunately neither rebounded into the goal. And Rafiq Khaleel is taking some time to get up to speed and is looking like he’s running through treacle. But we begin to wake up and Ade Adeyemo puts a ball through to Jack Roles in the box, but the shot is straight at the keeper.

They appear to be trying to walk the ball into the net, Roles, Khaleel, and Panutche Camara are passing it between themselves in the penalty area but can’t seem to get a shot off. And on ten minutes a hoof up field bounces and Toby Mullarkey takes the decision to try and chest the ball back to Beach whilst on the turn. He doesn’t get enough on it, and a BHA attacker nips in between the two, and strokes the ball into an empty net and we are behind 0-1.

Hopefully, that will wake us up. We win a corner, and it appears as if it is wasted, fannying about with it on the left wing, a ball comes in and a shot is block at source and comes back to Charlie Barker just outside the area and he smashes it in to equalise within three minutes of us going behind. 1-1.

There is a lot of possession play and not much action for fifteen minutes until BHA get a half chance and a shot cannons off the near post and out from seemingly nothing. At the other end Camara has a shot blocked and then thirty seconds later launches another shot high over the KRL Logistics stand, and it probably cleared the car park as well, and would have been heading off down the underpass on its way to Southgate.

After that brief piece of action there isn’t much on show and one added minute is played at the end of the half and the whistle goes with the score at 1-1. Toby Mullarkey gets a chance to rest his chest (hey, that rhymes), and is subbed at half time with Max Anderson coming on in his place, and Barker drops to the back three.

It must have been coffee at half time instead of the sleeping pills before the game as Crawley come out attacking. Antony Papadopoulos has a shot blocked on the end of an attack straight from the kick off. We keep possession and play it into the box, but the final ball just isn’t quite there. BHA attack and Beach makes a save, and we work it back out well down the pitch, and across the field and Khaleel has a shot / cross deflected out for a corner.

But then play is becoming a bit sloppy, lots of misplaced passes and BHA get more chances and force another save from Beach.

And as soon as I had written the above in my notepad, we get the ball back and attack again and Papadopoulos drills a shot into the net from twenty-five yards out and we lead 2-1. Meanwhile I’m thinking he would have been a more appropriate scorer in this competition a couple of years ago when it was sponsored by Papa Johns.

Joy Mukena takes the ball out of defence and runs, and runs, all the way to the edge of the BHA area, where his attempted ball through is deflected for a corner, which is actually crossed into the box for a change and there is a header which goes just wide.

Roles gets the ball in midfield about thirty yards out, as he did in a similar position last week, and like last week, Rick behind me shouts ‘Shoot Jack’, and he does, but this week it sails way over the top of the Eden Utilities Stand. Camara is subbed off and replaced by Armando Junior Quitirna.

Papadopoulos runs past a defender, but the defender doesn’t want to let him go, Papadopoulos continues to run with the ball for fifteen yards with the defender still pulling his shirt back before the ref finally gives a free kick. Which we waste. And BHA are still dangerous on the break and work it well to the left and have a shot which is just wide.

But we attack again down the left and Ronan Darcy, who has come on for Adeyemo, plays it to Roles in the middle of the park, who plays it across to Armando and his shot is just wide. However, the sloppiness is never far away, and we give the ball away in the middle of our own half, they play it to the left at pace and the cross comes over, there is slipping and falling in the box and the BHA striker at the back post pokes it in and it is all square again. 2-2.

From the kick off we attack, and Darcy and Roles exchange passes, and Darcy sees his shot go just wide. We make our final possible outfield substitution with Barker coming off to be replaced by Jeremy Kelly.

There are five added minutes, during which Darcy is clattered about a week after the ball has gone and is down injured, but there is no free kick. After treatment on the pitch, he continues getting treatment on the sideline and we are playing with ten men, and BHA are trying to take full advantage, and a last-minute shot hits the outside of the post and goes out for a throw. The full-time whistle goes, and it ends 2-2, which means in this mad competition in the group stage it is penalties time.

As the toss is done for which end the penalties will be taken and who will go first, Darcy is helped gingerly from the pitch and off, and that is a worrying sight. The penalties are taken in front of the home terrace, and BHA go first. Their first penalty is smashed against the bar. 0-0. Cameron Bragg takes our first with casual nonchalance and sends the keeper the wrong way 0-1. BHA score, Roles slams his penalty into the bottom corner 1-2. BHA score, Armando sends the keeper the wrong way 2-3. BHA score again, Josh Flynn sends a thunderbolt into the roof of the net, 3-4. And Beach saves the final BHA penalty, and we pick up the bonus point.

It wasn’t a great performance, and the injury is a worry, but there was decent playing time for squad members, and it may lure the senior side into a false sense of security for the Carabao Cup game next week.

After a hectic start to the season, I get a week off, as I’m not going to Wigan, so my next game will be away at the Amex next Tuesday, so I will see you next Tuesday.

Come on you reds.

Long Hot Summer

The song used in this piece’s title had nothing to do with the weather or the time of the year (not even I’m that sarcastic to suggest we’ve had a long hot summer). It is because this Style Council single from 1983 has been chosen because of its video, which was filmed on the River Cam in Cambridge.

The early season rush of fixtures continues apace with the first away game of the season coming after the opening home league win against Blackpool, and the rollercoaster midweek Carabao Cup win at home against Swindon Town. We are playing Cambridge United, one of three league games Thamestink trains can take us directly to this season from Three Bridges.

Since my last piece, the draw has been made for the second round of the Carabao Cup, and it is a very tasty tie, away against Brighton & Hove Albion. Which means that we will be playing their u21s on Tuesday and then the full team the week after on the Tuesday. If we follow that through it should mean the Tuesday after next, we will be playing their old boys, and I can’t wait for the pace of Ade and RHM to be going at Steve Foster and Mark Lawrenson.

And we have a new striker in the considerable shape of Tola Showunmi, who we’ve got from the USL side Louisville City. Let’s hope he turns out to be as good as our last signing from the USL – Jeremy Kelly.

First time playing Cambridge United since the League Two 2020-21 season when we won at home against them 2-1 and lost the away trip 3-1. In total we have played them twelve times, with five wins and seven defeats and no draws at all.

In the Cambridge squad there is Sullai Kaikai, who had a brief loan sojourn with us back in 2014. In the other direction, Jack Roles, had a season on loan there back in 2019-20. Also there in 2019, and also on loan was Rushian Hepburn-Murphy. It would be nice if the pair of them could score at the Abbey stadium for old times’ sake.

We’ve won both of our games so far this season and Cambridge have lost both of theirs, let’s hope we can keep both of those runs going.

The FSS billboard with us on it was up at Crawley station, but at the other end I just had my camera out to take a picture of the Cambridge United one on their station when a train pulled in in front of it.

It was a slightly later start than planned, but we were in Cambridge before 11 and out wandering through historic and increasingly busy streets with grand college buildings and churches either side of us.

And there were plenty of opportunities to keep up with my blue plaque obsession, which reminds me I need to finish writing up the rest of the Crawley ones.

The lure of the tat shops and another fridge magnet were too strong to resist. I did see a t-shirt which any number of people on the forum could/should be wearing.

Once satisfied the meandering route got us to the ground and a welcome sit down and drink in the shade away from the sun. The camera is well worn out before we even get to the Abbey Stadium.

The Abbey Stadium is an old school ground, and in the away end is the Steve Claridge bar. I’d forgotten he’d played for Cambridge. I remember him from when I lived in Leicester and all the City fans going mental in the Golf Range when he shinned in the last-minute winner in the playoff final to see Leicester promoted to the Premier League.

Cambridge still have a programme and it looks quite stylish. The ground’s main stand is sponsored by petrest who appear to be a pet euthanasia company. Not something to be reminded of at games.

Neither Fish nor Faal are in the squad. There is a lot of noise from a full looking away terrace and there is a red smoke flare set off before we’ve even kicked off. We are in our white/grey away kit and Cambridge are in their traditional amber and black.

Rushian Hepburn-Murphy charges down an attempted early clearance from the Cambridge keeper, but unlike the Blackpool goal last week it flies up and hits the top of the stand behind the goal.

A couple of early heavy Cambridge challenges only see the players get a talking to. Cambridge attack, Jojo Wollacott saves and the follow up is cleared off the line by Josh Flint, and only when the ball is up at the halfway line does the lino put his flag up for offside.

A third heavy challenge does see a Cambridge player get a yellow card and the free kick from thirty yards out on the right is cleared. And Jay Williams picks up a booking for clearing out one of their defenders. Cambridge break from a corner and have a shot which goes wide but they looked suspiciously offside, and the lino gets a load of abuse. And then sticks his flag up on their next attack but it is the last time he does all half.

A Cambridge defensive clearance heads over the main stand for ball loss one of the day. They are doing most of the attacking. Another header is just wide, and we try to gift them a goal from the goal kick, but the shot is easily saved by Wollacott. They get a free kick on the left edge of the area and the shot is straight at Wollacott. A corner just after sees a chance headed over. And they attack again and have a shot just wide.

We finally get an attack as Williams intercepts the ball in midfield and plays it through to RHM in the box, but he is tackled before he can get a shot off.

Then it is straight back to Cambridge attacks and another couple of chances for them and lots of possession before Armano Junior Quinirta has a shot just wide in our first attack in about ten minutes.

There are two added minutes at the end of the half, enough time for ball two to be hoofed over the roof of the stand we are in, before the whistle goes for half time.

During which there is some “sumo” (their words, not mine) in the centre circle and somebody Pickering wins it two nothing for Crawley. Our best performance of the game so far.

We start the second half with a Scott Malone shot over the bar. Their number 11 gets a booking on totting up quickly followed by one for Toby Mullarkey. Joy Mukena loses the ball near the area, but Wollacott saves and as he dives on the ball is clattered by their striker and needs some treatment.

Another Cambridge attack sees a save and then a scramble before the (other) lino puts the flag up for offside. Back at our end the lino remembers how to use his flag and waves it to say Armando is offside and he is then booked for kicking the ball away.

We get a corner from an Armando shot which is deflected behind off an arm, but it’s just a corner and not the claimed penalty. The ball is worked in, and the shot is saved. Three subs follow with Alexander, Armando, and Malone off, and replaced by Panutche Camara, Ade Adeyemo, and Cameron Bragg.

A general improvement in play follows and we have more attacking play, working the ball all over the pitch before finding Ronan Darcy whose shot from twenty yards out is saved. Another substitution follows with RHM off and Jack Roles on. A corner is played to Darcy and his shot is blocked. The ball is recycled in and Adeyemo’s shot is well over the bar.

A free kick into the area sees a header from Mullarkey go over the bar and land on the roof of the net.

With less than five minutes of normal time left a ball played over the top finds Adeyemo and he takes it round the keeper, but wide, yet manages to steer it in from an acute angle and we lead 1-0. The goal is celebrated with a red smoke flare thrown onto the pitch.

After a delay, from the restart we are almost through again, but this time the final ball doesn’t fond Adeyemo.

There are seven added minutes. A long clearance from Wollacott is mis-headed behind for a corner and we’re in no rush to take it. A Cambridge attack is headed back and forth across the box before it ends up in Wollacott’s hands. There is time to substitute Williams for Barker, but only just as the whistle goes for full time after the ball is thrown back in, and Crawley won 1-0.

The players come over and none of the 494 Crawley fans (out of a crowd of 6,720) are in any hurry to leave. And I manage to make a hash of trying to get a picture of Scott Lindsey mid arm pump celebration, I either mistime it, or someone suddenly stands up in front of me, or it ends up blurry. I will get one of them eventually.

Cambridge didn’t announce their man of the match, but I suspect it went to the lino on our side of the pitch.

We may have ridden our luck a bit in the first half but were much better in the second and the win leaves us in third place in the fledgling table.

I don’t think the grounds staff were overly impressed by the scorched earth on the pitch after the game.

Helen had had the foresight to book a table at the curry house opposite the ground and it was all the tastier for an away win. Cambridge fans were moaning about their profligacy and the smoke flares, as they had items taken off them and a raffle ticket given for them to collect it after the game, but our fans had got flares in. Which was a surprise as the bag check and pat down on me was quite thorough.

The sun has long gone by the time we get home, tired but happy after an enjoyable day out.

There is no respite, we go again back at home on Tuesday night in another different competition with the Bristol Street Motors trophy starting early for us with the visit of Brighton U21s for the first game in our group stage.

Come on you reds.

Rockin’ Robin

A young, Motown affiliated Michael Jackson kicks us off this time around as I reference the opposition’s nickname to make a tenuous title link again.

After the great opening day win against Blackpool on Saturday, it is back to action quickly with midweek action in the Carabao Cup. And we are playing Swindon Town, who, over the last couple of years we have had a number of dealings with, as out manager Scott Lindsey was let go by them, last year’s club captain and now one of our coaches – Ben Gladwin came from there, as did current club captain Dion Conroy, and then we have had Ronan Darcy and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy from them as well. Going the other way, one of the stalwarts of out promotion winning side last year, Will Wright has gone the other way, and he made the same start for them on Saturday as he did for us last season, with a thunderbolt of a goal. It will also give us the chance to scout their current team for any more of their contingent we might like to sign.

We last played them on New Year’s Day when we beat them 3-1 at home, somewhat making up for the 6-0 drubbing we had at their place last August. We haven’t played them in the Carabao Cup (in any of its incarnations) before. But we did play them in the FA Cup winning 3-2 away in a second-round replay in 2010 after a 1-1 draw at home. And overall, we lead the head-to-head against them with eight wins to their six, with seven draws.

Elsewhere, the managerial merry go round has started early, and Preston North End (no relation to our co-chairman) have sacked their manager after one game, and the bookies have initially made Scott Lindsey as the favourite for the job. To which all I can say is fuck off Preston. And the same for bookies.

As well as being live and direct at the Broadfield Stadium, the game is going to be live on FSS as well. For those who can’t make it to Crawley for the game, let’s hope that FSS don’t fuck up again, and actually show the whole match after their failure to do so on Saturday when they cut off after 93 minutes.

With it being a midweek evening game, there will be no getting to the ground three hours before kick-off like there was on Saturday. More like twenty minutes. The underpass still looks clean, just a couple of items left behind by litterbugs.

And in an act of obvious shithousery Swindon name Will Wright as the captain for the game. When the teams come out for the game it would appear that Swindon are wearing our third kit from last season. Was that part of the payment for the deal for Rushian Hepburn-Murphy? For us neither Fish nor Faal are in the squad.

We get an early chance, working the ball well in a tight space down the right and then switched over to the left where Jack Roles cuts inside and tries to curl one in only for it to go wide. Toby Mullarkey is showing some skills going forward and is putting in some good tackles on defensive duty.

A free kick on the left is floated to the edge of the area and headed on. Ade Adeyemo tries to delicately float it over the keeper and in, but the keeper gets back and pushes the ball over the bar for a corner. Which is played out to Roles outside the box, and he is fouled. He takes the free kick himself and drills it low and just wide of the post.

Swindon are starting to come into the game a bit more, but a good move sees Jeremy Kelly feed the ball to Rafiq Khaleel on the right and his shot is tipped round the post for a corner. Which was wasted. But we keep the ball, and it is played in and out of the box, but we can’t quite fashion a shooting opportunity.

At the other end Swindon win the ball and get into the area and get a shot off which is just wide. It did look as if we’d fallen asleep for a moment there. On thirty-five minutes we work the ball forward and Roles puts the ball through to Adeyemo in the box and his shot is close to the keeper, but it seems to go through him and squirms its way over the line and we lead 1-0.

A through ball from Mullarkey see Khaleel in the box, but he is squeezed out to the right and his shot is from a tight angle and easily saved by the Swindon keeper. Another long ball is played through to Adeyemo in the box but his shot loops into the air and out for a goal kick. There is one minute of added time at the end of the half and the half time whistle goes with us leading 1-0.

Looking on social media at half time and it would appear that the FSS feed is shit, with both wonky camera work being moaned about, and the game disappearing off screens for a bit with ‘technical issues’. The much-vaunted FSS coverage isn’t what it was cracked up to be.

We make two substitutions at half time and take a bit of time to get going. From the second of a couple of early corners Swindon have a shot which is well saved by Jojo Wollacott. From the third successive corner the shot is high over the bar and is only stopped from being the only ball of the night to disappear over the stand by coming back off the empty camera gantry on top of the KRL Logistics stand. It would seem that Carabao Cup games don’t warrant a second FSS camera at the ground then.

Finally, we get a bit of the ball and counterattack, the ball is worked out to Khaleel on the right and his shot is saved. And from another Swindon corner we break again down the right and Khaleel’s cross is blocked out for a throw near the corner flag. A bit more pressure follows, and the ball ends up with Roles after a pass from Armando Junior Quitirna. Rick who sits behind me and is Jack’s biggest fan shouts ‘Shoot Jack’ (not with a gun as some might think), and Roles obliges and unleashes from thirty-five yards straight into the top corner and we lead 2-0.

Which kind of led to the team thinking it was all over and they relaxed far too much for anyone’s liking. A couple of minutes later there was some slack play trying to pass the ball across the edge of our own area and the ball was hoovered up by a Swindon player and passed on and a shot from the edge of the area nestled in the net to make it 2-1.

The Swindon number 9 was living a charmed life. There were three heavy and late challenges which could all have been bookings, but after the third one he only got a talking to. Even on totting up he should have had a booking by now. Swindon get a free kick just inside our half and Will Wright takes it quickly and puts it into the net from forty yards, but the ref pulls it back as the whistle hadn’t gone. A couple of minutes later Swindon get a ball in the box and attempt a cross which Antony Papadopoulos (if he plays a lot I’m going to have to be cutting and pasting that name) slides to stop, but it hits his arm, and a penalty is given. Will Wright steps up to take and Wollacott makes a great save to push it round the post. The relief from that doesn’t last long though. The corner comes all the way over to the back post and it’s a free header and it’s 2-2.

Which sees us make two more substitutions. Khaleel gets a booking on the right wing for a nothing challenge. Which is a surprise as I’d assumed the ref hadn’t brought his cards out onto the pitch with him. Seconds later the Swindon number 8 goes straight through the back of Roles, and nothing is given. At all. That was dangerous, studs up, and late, and could have been a red, but waved away and only two meters in front of the lino with the white stick.

Swindon are really up for this now and they are doing most of the attacking. Wollacott is forced into a couple of saves before we get out of our own half and attack. The ball is worked to Papadopoulos (yes copy and paste was used for that) and his shot is just over the bar. Roles then commits a foul on the edge of the D, and the yellow card is whipped out in record time. The shot is round the wall, but Wollacott makes another good save, and the rebound is headed over. Another foul near the corner flag sees Josh Flint pick up a booking. At this stage the ref is just taking the piss.

But we appear to have woken up after nearly half an hour of slumber and do some attacking, with a couple of blocked shots. We keep the pressure on, and the ball is worked across from Khaleel to Roles in the middle of the park and he strokes the ball into the bottom corner from twenty odd yards out and we lead again, 3-2.

From the kick off, Swindon play it back to the keeper who hoofs it up the pitch we win it back and Roles is wiped out by another horrendous tackle, but we break and Armando crosses to the right and Khaleel picks it up and scores to make it 4-2. There is still no booking forthcoming for a Swindon player, who appear to have been given licence to kick the shit out of Jack Roles.

There are six added minutes at the end of the game and it takes until the very last one of them before the ref finally remembers he is actually allowed to book a Swindon player for their thuggery, and that is pretty much the end of the action and the final whistle goes with us coming out 4-2 winners and booking a place in round two, the draw for which is made tomorrow evening. Let’s hope it’s a good draw for us.

The crowd was announced as 2,396 with 315 away fans. It did look like there were more than that though. And the sponsors’ man of the match was the scorer of two stunning goals, and general punchbag for the Swindon players, Jack Roles.

That was harder work than it should have been, but it gave a lot of players a bit more competitive game time which is always good, and we did win. And now it’s on to Cambridge United away on Saturday.

Come on you reds.

Start

Song title to kick off the new season’s worth of match reports comes from the second number one from the greatest group of all time – The Jam (even if they did nick the riff from The Beatles’ “Taxman”). Definitely better than picking something by Tangerine Dream.

A new season is upon us, Saturday afternoons will have meaning again, and this season it will include Saturday tea times, Saturday lunch time, Sundays perhaps, Tuesday nights (and doubtless any other night of the week now). It won’t quite be a case of 24/7, but it might seem like that.

I won’t rehash the offseason, I covered enough of that in my preseason piece earlier in the week.

Won’t Get Fooled Again

Although since then we have signed a Chelsea under 21 keeper on loan and I’ve got the new, what is now called the Utilita football handbook. However, I couldn’t remember it was sponsored by Utilita when I pre-ordered it in Waterstones, instead my mind went back to my childhood, and I called it the Rothmans yearbook. Whilst I was at it, I should have checked the cricket scores in the John Player Sunday league and the Bensons & Hedges trophy, the Embassy snooker world championship, and been cheering on the Maclaren, Lotus, and Ligier formula one teams sponsored as they were by Marlboro, JPS, and Gitanes. All of which were smoking hot.

I know all the info in the yearbook is online nowadays, but I like having the heft of the book. It is heavy. Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, and if there’s an argument over some stats you can always hit them with it. Although I do miss the now defunct News of the World / Nationwide annual, as it had most of the data of the Rothmans, but it would fit in your pocket. It just isn’t an effective a weapon to beat people with. And I didn’t realise Utilita were sponsoring Blackpool.

Who we play in the first game of the new season in League 1. They are the first of eight former Premier League sides we will be playing this season, half of whom begin with the letter B. The four season preview tables I included in my preseason piece had them finishing 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th, so all well above our predicted places.

For some reason when I think of Blackpool, I always think it is a shame Dion Dublin didn’t play for them. Seeing as Dublin translates from Gaelic to English as Black Pool, it would have meant Blackpool would have been playing for Blackpool. That’ll just be my stupid mind thinking that though.

Also, Blackpool does remind me of one of my old housemates from my Manchester days. He was a degenerate gambler whose common phrase when dragging us into the casino at three in the morning was ‘always bet on black’. Something he took to his fixed odds betting for a season with him always choosing Blackpool and Blackburn on the sheet every week. And winning nothing.

Mentioning Blackpool and Blackburn together reminds me of another story (yes, I even go off on tangents to my tangents). Back on Easter Monday 2002 I was persuaded to go to Ewood Park as an away fan to watch Southampton play Blackburn. In the away end there were twenty fans in orange Blackpool shirts. I thought to myself perhaps they have come to the wrong black town, but it turns out they had come to see Brett Ormerod play having sold him to Southampton earlier in the season.

We have played Blackpool just the twice, back in the 2016-17 season, and we won 1-0 at home and had a 0-0 draw away. I’d be more than happy with a repeat of those results this season.

I didn’t sleep well last night, not because of nerves, but because my stupid brain wouldn’t shut off and had thoughts of winning the lottery and sorting out premises for the Crawley Town megastore in town and then thinking of all the merch that could be stocked in it. I really need to get out more.

Whilst I was out at writing, Helen was on social media trying to drum up support / help to clean up the underpass to the ground. Some of the negativity in the responses was sadly predictable. And although there was no help forthcoming, the job she did on it was remarkable and it looks great.

I know I like to get to the ground early, but coming straight from writing would have been ridiculous, wouldn’t it? Due to the stupid 5.30pm kick off, what kind of idiot would turn up to the ground four hours before kick-off. The kick off time is for the benefit of Sky Sports, or Fuck Sky Sports (FSS) as I call them. It certainly isn’t for the benefit of the supporters. Anyway, I stopped and had a coffee and a chat and was only at the ground three hours before kick-off. When walking through town there was a band on at the bandstand and they happened to be playing ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ as I walked past them. Not something I want to be hearing come twenty past seven.

When I arrived at the ground everyone was outside as the fire alarm had gone off. Hopefully not another sign of things to come.

The new kit is in the shop. I got a shirt and as predicted I had to go two sizes bigger than I am in normal clothes. I could have got away with one size, but it would never go over layers when they will be required when the weather gets nasty. Custom name printing will have to come during the week. They also had new caps in stock, and even if it is packaged as an autograph book, it is a branded notepad and pen. All I need now is a fridge magnet.

Being early I took refuge from the sun and sat in Redz Bar watching the first half of the Community Shield. As I don’t drink, I don’t usually go in there, and when I have it has always been packed so I hadn’t noticed the framed shirts on the walls before. I now have shirt envy over this one.

I was inside the ground well over an hour before kick-off. The pitch looks amazing.

This lot have done a wonderful job.

Turns out it isn’t a solid backing on the east marquee, it is netting and at the top only. It isn’t flappy, but it will let the wind whistle through it later in the year. The team line-up was announced and there was neither Fish nor Faal on it. The officials haven’t even started the game and they’re getting abuse. Little high pitched kids voices are shouting ‘run faster lino’ as they jog past on their warmup.

Blackpool are in a mainly dark blue kit with some kind of squiggle pattern on the front of the shop. The two fan coaches were cutting it fine, but the away end looks reasonably full. Their number 3 is called Husband, but there is no player called Wife in their squad, so they aren’t a husband and wife team.

Into the game and the early pressure is from Blackpool, and it takes us more than five minutes to mount an attack down the left wing. It is well worked but we can’t quite get a clear shooting opportunity, and the final attempt from Scott Malone is blocked at source.

Quarter of an hour into the game and we have settled now. A ball from Jeremy Kelly is lofted over the defence and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy takes it down and then dinks it over the keeper and we are 1-0 up.

And there is decent pace from RHM again a couple of minutes later and it takes a last-ditch challenge to just take it off his toes before he can get a shot away. There is some back and forth, and we get a ball to Armando Junior Qunitirna, but his shot is over.

A free kick from in the attacking half is played to RHM and he dinks it past the keeper and into the net again, but the joy is short lived as a somewhat dubious foul has been given in the build-up. Blackpool attack, a shot is saved and then cleared, and we break, and Ronan Darcy’s cross goes out.

A ball is played from midfield by Darcy to Armando on the left. He cuts past a couple of players and into the box, and his shot/cross takes a deflection and loops over the keeper and into the net to make it 2-0. And that puts us top of the table at that point in time.

Jojo Wollacott is booked for timewasting when taking a free kick (in the first half without any warning FFS), only for the free kick to be returned to be taken again as the ref wasn’t ready. That’s really taking the piss. There were a couple of Blackpool chances but both shots end up going wide. And there is one minute of added time at the end of the first half. In which there is another chance for Blackpool, a shot from outside the area is blocked near the line and cleared, but they attack again, and another shot from distance hits the outside of the post before the whistle goes for half time and a 2-0 lead.

The second half starts with another Blackpool attack and their shot is dragged wide. It’s fairly even but Blackpool are trying to put more pressure on. Josh Flint hoofs a clearance out over the KRL Logistics stand for ball loss number one of the day and a corner. Which we break from and Max Anderson’s shot is wide.

We get the ball back quickly and Darcy’s shot takes a touch off a defender which takes the pace of it and it is comfortably saved by the keeper. We get a free kick by the left corner and the cross is cleared to Darcy on the edge of the area but his shot is high and wide.

Flint appeals about giving a corner away and is booked for his protestations which looked nearly as harsh as Wollacott’s booking in the first half. The corner is cleared and a minute later ball two disappears out over the side of the west stand. Blackpool are upping the pressure and get a couple of corners in quick succession, and the second is cleared at the third attempt.

There is fannying about at the back and Wollacott’s attempted clearance is straight at the onrushing striker and it bounces back off him and into the net and it is now only 2-1.

It is getting tense now, but we win a corner, which comes to nothing. There is more and more Blackpool pressure, but we break, and Ade Adeyemo gets a shot on target which is just about bundled behind for a corner. There is a pattern emerging in the last few minutes of the game. Blackpool pressure and us breaking. We do so again, and the ball is in the net from Panutche Camara from a Jack Roles cross, but the linesman’s flag is up for offside, and it doesn’t count.

There are five minutes of added time and Jay Williams clears a ball out over the east marquee for ball loss number three of the day, the throw is cleared, but comes back in and Blackpool get a corner, and after more pressure we break again, Adeyemo feeds Camara, but his first touch is a bit heavy and the keeper gets a hand to it, but it comes back to him and he tries a back heel, which goes past the keeper but it is slow moving and the keeper turns and stops the ball before it goes over the line.

And the full-time whistle goes, and we win 2-1. What a start to the season. The crowd was announced as being 4,718 (so I was only 98 out with my silly guess of 4,816 – and my score prediction was 2-1, so not a bad week), and Josh Flint was named as the sponsor’s man of the match.

The result leaves us sixth or seventh depending on which muppets are producing the table. And it is now onto the Carabao Cup on Tuesday night with the visit of Swindon Town before the next league game and the first away trip of the season to play Cambridge United.

And it would appear that FSS managed to drop the final couple of minutes of the game which no one watching at home needs.

Come on you reds.

Up Up And Away To A Beautiful League One

The 5th Dimension. There were lots of red and white balloons floating around this afternoon, but none of them feel as light and floaty as I do writing this.

Here it is. Wembley. The League 2 playoff final. It is sinking in. After the incredible 5-1 away victory last Saturday night against the Milton Keynes Dons, one that made Crawley Town record breakers as we recorded the biggest ever aggregate winning margin in our 8-1 aggregate win. The seven-goal margin breaking the previous six goal margin someone racked up in a 9-3 aggregate win previously.

That someone happened to be today’s opponents, Crewe Alexandra who took Walsall to the cleaners back in 2016. They made it to the final after overcoming a 2-0 home defeat against the seemingly previously unstoppable Doncaster Rovers. They won the away leg by the same 2-0 margin, even after extra time, and it went to penalties. The Crewe keeper spotted the Doncaster keeper’s water bottle had details of which way to dive when facing Crewe player’s penalties and took the water bottle and threw it into the crowd. Crewe then won on penalties to make Wembley.

They won the toss to be the nominal home team for the playoff final and so will be playing in their red kits, which means we will be playing in white. Which someone pointed out was the colour of kits worn when securing the club’s last three promotions. Saying that, we don’t have the best record against Crewe, we lost both home and away against them in the league this year (and they did look like one of the best sides we played all season), and in total we have a poor record against them, having won only the one in thirteen attempts.

Sunday was a day to try and take in just what Crawley had accomplished on the Saturday night, with securing their first ever visit to Wembley, which we passed on the train on the way back from Milton Keynes, before tickets went on sale on the Monday morning.

Ah yes, Wembley ticket sales. Which means having to deal with those ultimate of robbing bastards, Ticketmasterbators. In releasing tickets only block by block they called caused the illusion of sold-out tickets by 9:30am, half an hour after went on sale. And for fans, desperate to be a part of Crawley’s big day, to panic buy odd tickets dotted around instead of being able to get them together. Only for more blocks to be released piecemeal. At least there was a belated service to be able to ring and change tickets to ones together or in more wanted areas.

We were waiting for level two tickets to be released, and for them to be more to the side rather than directly behind the goal. More comfortable seats and a better view for this particular old git. In the meantime, our neighbour Clare secured us Club Wembley level tickets through her friend (thank you Kelly – the seats were great) and besides Helen and I, Clare’s dad Pete and another neighbour Lynn will be heading to Wembley. The fretting went away somewhat, but better communication would have helped seeing as Helen had already bought Ticketmasterbators vouchers to get the tickets with. And better general communications from Wembley and Ticketmasterbators about how they were planning on releasing tickets would have been more helpful and less stressful for fans all round. Anyway, the club had sold twelve thousand tickets by the end of the day, a figure that had risen to over sixteen thousand by the end of Thursday.

Playoff merchandise was sorted and on sale by Tuesday afternoon to order for pickup at the club later in the week. I thought I was remarkably restrained in not ordering one of everything. Instead, just getting the Corey Addai t-shirt, the Que Sera Sera t-shirt, and a scarf for me, and the Nick Tsaroulla t-shirt for Helen. Some items sold out quickly and it intrigued me to see that all items were available in the following sizes: 9-10 years old, XS, small, medium, large, XL, 2XL, and 4XL, but none in 3XL, which for a number of years was my required size.

Friday was spent wating for the email from the club to say that my order was ready for collection. But as I was out and about, I nipped into the shop at 5pm and they sorted the order there and then, so all good.

I realised in the build up to this game that will be the first time I have been to the new Wembley stadium to watch a football game. I had been to the original Wembley to see England and Tottenham play before, but I had only been to the new ground to watch numerous NFL games.

This morning saw the mass exodus from the town by train, car, and coach, and an early Thamestink train from Crawley, a change at Farringdon to the tube, and then the Metropolitan line up to Wembley.

The platform at Crawley station was busy and once everyone got on a Crawley the train was standing room only. Only for lots more to get on at Three Bridges, and then for carrying amounts of people wearing Crawley gear all the way up to Purley. The other platform at Three Bridges was absolutely jam packed with fans waiting for the faster Thamestink train from Brighton. Our train had been a couple of minutes late due to the volumes getting on at Ifield before it got to us.

Wembley has a strict bag policy, where nothing bigger than A4 size is permitted. And then they produce a programme which is A4 in size and therefore won’t fit in any bag that you are allowed to bring to the ground, You really couldn’t make this shit up. But the programme, although expensive at a tenner, is a great programme, as it should be for a game of this stature at the home of English football.

There is the view up Wembley Way when you come out of the tube station before heading down the steps at Wembley Park, and it is a view that no one should ever tire of.

We were in the ground and seated before half eleven, which meant I was there in time to watch the Utilita Kids cup final between Walsall and Bradford City, which Walsall won. Which could be a bad omen seeing as they were in red and Bradford were in white, and Crewe being in red today and us in white. Although I’m hoping the good omen of Oxford United winning yesterday’s League One playoff final cancels that out, seeing as, like us, they scraped into the final playoff spot on the last day of the season and won their final.

Having left the house with it being a bit overcast we were pleased to see that the sun was trying to get out by the time we passed Horley, and it was clear blue skies and sunny once at Wembley.

I was hoping they put enough lotion on the head of the bald pundit down on the pitch, as the one who opted for a jacket was looking uncomfortable down there in the hot sun and kept wiping the sweat from his brow.

And filed under things I never thought I would see is this shirt.

Crewe aren’t in all red, as they’ve managed to wangle wearing white shorts without us having to change to black ones. A bit odd, but here we go. Kick off.

The first ten minutes are very cagey. No shots, no half chances, nothing in either penalty area. It takes until the fourteenth minute before the first shot arrives. Kellen Gordon cross is headed out and it comes to Liam Kelly, but his volley is over the bar.

The action is starting to warm up. We work the ball down the left wing, there are some nice one-twos along the way, and it gets into the box, and L Kelly gets a shot on target which is comfortably saved by the Crewe keeper. The first yellow of the game follows shortly afterwards as Dion Conroy is taken out in the middle of the park.

On twenty-four minutes the ball goes out for a throw and a drinks break is called. Something I didn’t see watching the League One playoff game on TV yesterday. After the restart we work it down the left again and play a ball into Klaidi Lolos, he turns back and forth to get a shot off, but it is a weak effort and straight at the keeper.

It takes thirty-six minutes for Crewe to get their first shot, one from outside the box, and Corey Addai is down well to push the ball around the post for a corner. Five minutes later there is a long clearance from Addai, it is collected and passed to L Kelly, who pings it to Danilo Orsi, who turns to find room to take a shot and buries it in the corner of the goal and Crawley lead 1-0. Absolute scenes.

And we are nearly straight back in from the restart. Going down the right Gordon gets a cross in and Jeremy Kelly has a shot deflected for a corner, and from it there is a header over the bar. There are four added minutes at the end of the half. During which Crewe get a throw near the corner flag (they were blatantly offside though), and a long throw comes in, and Addai collects well amongst bodies. We get it up field to Lolos again, and he has a shot from thirty yards out which is high and wide, and the whistle goes for half time with us leading 1-0.

We start the second half as we finished the first, on the front foot, getting an early corner. Only for there to be a kamikaze back pass from Adam Campbell which has Addai in no man’s land and the Crewe attacker one-on-one with him. The ball goes past Addai who sticks a foot out. The attacker goes to the ground and a penalty is given and Addai is shown a yellow card. But here comes our first VAR decision in a game ever, the ref goes over to the pitch side monitor and the penalty is rescinded, as is the yellow card and it is a corner instead. No, a goal kick. No, a drop ball. Not sure anyone knows what is going on at the moment. But thank you VAR. Not that there was ever any doubt that Addai was going to save the penalty.

And that is the last action for Campbell. He is subbed off, seemingly as a result of that back pass, but more likely a planned change and Ronan Darcy comes on. We get another corner; a Gordon cross is deflected behind. The corner is short to L Kelly and his cross is headed out. Gordon wins it back and charges into the box and his shot is well saved. Another cross follows, and there are some appeals for handball, but nothing given and no VAR check.

More substitutions are made, Crewe make a couple, and Gordon goes off to be replaced by Ade Adeyemo. L Kelly is hauled down and it draws another yellow card and a free kick thirty yards out on left hand side of penalty area. It comes in and is headed away as far as Adeyemo whose shot is over the bar.

Jesus wept, another kamikaze back pass sees Crewe with the ball on the byline in the box, but the cross is cleared. We break and the ball is worked across for Darcy to have a shot which is deflected over for a corner. We are having a great spell of possession, pinging it about on the edge of the Crewe box, and Darcy gets another shot off which is just over. And there is a second half drinks break as well.

We are having more pressure now. J Kelly is down the left to the byline, with a lovely piece of skill to get a cross in, but it is just too deep. Recovered by Darcy and he gets it to L Kelly whose shot is saved for a corner. It is cleared but it is won back, and Lolos can’t get space for a shot, it goes to L Kelly who can’t either, and out to J Kelly whose cross is blocked for a corner which is cleared. That is won back in midfield, and we get a free kick forty yards out which is cleared.

Crewe get a long throw near the box, and it is worked back in, but the header is easily saved by Addai. Dion Conroy steps out of defence, wonderfully cutting two Crewe players out of the game, then pings a ball of beauty through to the onrushing L Kelly in the box. He initially tries to square it for Orsi, but it is deflected back to him and with the keeper going the wrong way he slots it in, and it is 2-0. Deep breaths. Nearly there.

There are ten added minutes as the crowd is announced as being 33,341. We make a couple of more subs when the ball eventually goes out of play, with J Kelly and Lolos coming off to be replaced by Nick Tsaroulla and Jack Roles. Crewe get a couple of shots in quick succession, one is easily claimed by Addai, and the other goes over the bar. At the other end there is a late chance for Orsi to put the icing on the cake as he brilliantly leaves the defender for dead and gets his shot away, but the keeper saves.

The full-time whistle goes, and we have won. 2-0. Promoted. Can you believe what we have witnessed over the last couple of weeks.

It is party time. The players make their torturous way up to the royal box to pick up the playoff winner’s trophy, with Liam Kelly being named as man of the match, before coming back down onto the pitch for the set-up photo opportunities and ticker tape parade.

We are there a long time after the final whistle, still trying to soak up as much of the glorious atmosphere a win at Wembley and promotion can give you.

The walk back down Wembley Way is just like those floaty balloons. Walking on air. And the montage on the screen just before getting back to Wembley Park station says it all. Crawley Town certainly stepped up in the playoffs, and next season it will be a new set of teams to bamboozle and beat in League One.

The journey home is full of happy fans in crowded carriages. The parade is tomorrow night. It is not a day that will be forgotten.

Come on you reds.

Que Hurrah Hurrah, Whether By Train, Coach, Or Taxi, We’re Going To Wembley

Doris Day ladies and gentlemen, somewhat traditional for this kind of thing. All the way back to her 1956 chart topper. Not necessarily hoping it’s chips though.

The playoffs continue. After the wonderful 3-0 home win on Tuesday night it’s the second leg, away to Milton Keynes Dons.

I quite often comment to say that I’ve gone straight to home games from writing group, as that finishes at one, and a wander down to the ground gives me my chance to be there as they are opening the turnstiles. It seems most Saturday home games align with writing group sessions which is handy. When they don’t and it is an away game, then it is writing and then home to watch Soccer Saturday for score updates. But today is a first. Writing group in the morning, and then straight to an away game. With it being an evening kick-off, it gives the right amount of time to meet Helen at the train station and get up to Milton Keynes with enough time to check in and drop a bag off at the hotel, and then wander towards the ground finding somewhere to get some food. It’s just a longer wander to the game than usual.

As we travel there four days after the first leg, I’m still pinching myself at the position we find ourselves in. There is a lot of confidence amongst fans. But I’m going around with fingers crossed (which makes typing the first half of this quite difficult), and a mantra in my head of ‘stop jinxing it,’ as I see the wave of social media and forum posts talking about a Wembley visit.

If our home game hadn’t succumbed to ark training and been played on Monday, then this game would have been played Thursday night. But now it’s been rearranged, it isn’t easy to drive up to Milton Keynes. The M25 westbound is closed for the weekend as they continue to work on the A3 junction, and there are roadworks at Dartford, which is why we’ve gone for the train.

Crawley were allocated two thousand tickets for the game; the minimum MK were allowed to offer. There was a lot of moaning about only having two thousand tickets available, but that is still nine hundred more than made the short trip to Sutton a few weeks ago, and we didn’t manage to sell them all anyway, the final tally of sold tickets coming to 1,630.

It was a lovely sunny day for the trip up, a wander to the hotel. The city centre is just bizarre, ghost town, wide open spaces, lots of greenery though, and a grid formation, but it makes the Marie Celeste look claustrophobic. Then out for food in the centre of the city, Ask, which just reminds us how much we miss the one in Crawley. It’s worth ten Prezzo’s.

Their stadium is seriously impressive, a case of build a stadium for what you want to achieve. They had proper searches, sniffer dogs, bag check, pat downs on the way in. The concourse was packed with chanting fans, and the noise is immense. We see Reuben to say hello, and the Mansfield brothers once in our seats. However, for such a modern, supposed state of the art, stadium, the PA system is rubbish, couldn’t pick up a single announcement from their voice over man all game.

I get a programme, it was only three quid, and was thicker than ours on Tuesday, but is half full of adverts. But at least they had the common courtesy to include four pages on their opposition – i.e. us.

It is a repeat of Tuesday night as far as strips are concerned, all red for us, and all white (flag?) for the MK Dons. Two minutes in and there is a poor pass out from the MK keeper, it is pounced on by Jay Williams who takes it into the box and slots it in the corner and we lead 1-0 on the night and 4-0 on aggregate. Can this be happening?

MK get some attacking going, and win a corner, which is put out for another corner, and we clear it. Clever work from Harry Forster down the right, ball comes across to Adam Campbell who chips it over the defenders, but Danilo Orsi can’t get a telling finishing touch on the ball. More decent work, down the left this time, but again we can’t get the final shot away.

The MK toerag, number eighteen, stamps on Williams’ thigh after the ball has gone. The officials are like the four blind mice, and nothing is given. MK as a whole are going for the kick lumps out of Crawley approach at every opportunity. Campbell is barged over with a forearm smash to the back of the head, and again the officials see nothing wrong with it. The MK players are in the ref’s face at every opportunity, as if they’re the hard done ones. A two footed lunge straight through Klaidi Lolos just gets waved on by the ref.

We are having lots of possession. But it wouldn’t be a game without a Corey Addai heart in your mouth moment. A pass out goes straight to a MK player, but their shot is straight at Addai, and we survive. A MK shot from twenty-five yards out is saved at full stretch by Addai for a corner. MK’s number eighteen is down in the box claiming a penalty like the cheating scumbag he is.

On half an hour after some MK pressure we play the ball out well, flicked on towards Orsi, the MK defender misjudges the bounce, Orsi pulls in under control goes outside the defender and pulls a shot back across the keeper and into the corner and it is 2-0, and a 5-0 aggregate lead.

Another two footed lunge, this time through the back of Jeremy Kelly at least wins a free kick, but again there is no yellow card. FFS ref, some protection from the MK thugs would be good. Lolos is clattered in the back again and down injured, but nothing is given. A couple of minutes later, Lolos wins a tackle in midfield, but to everyone’s bemusement, the ref awards a free kick to MK and books Lolos. So, the blind twat does have his cards with then.

There is an injury to Forster, and he is subbed off to be replaced by Kellen Gordon. MK win a free kick on the left-hand edge of the area as the board goes up for five minutes of added time. The ball is swung over to the back post and an outstretched leg plays it back across for the cheating thug number eighteen to score. 2-1 on the night and 5-1 on aggregate.

It looks as if we have restored the advantage almost immediately. Lolos plays it through to Orsi, who helps it on the Jeremy Kelly, and his touch beats the keeper. We are all up celebrating the goal, but it is cleared off the line. There is another hefty challenge, this time on Will Wright and yet again it goes unpunished. After seven extra minutes the ref finally blows for half time.

The second half kicks off with Wright having been replaced by Joy Mukena after the heavy challenge at the end of the first half. Two minutes in there is a ball to Lolos, who drifts inside, and plays a perfect ball to Liam Kelly, who is in on goal with just the keeper to beat, but he squares it to Orsi for a simple tap in and it’s 3-1 on the night and now 6-1 on aggregate. This is dreamland.

The MK toerag dives in the penalty area again trying to cheat for a penalty, and a goal kick is awarded. Lolos is pulled back in midfield and appears to be smacked in the face for bad measure. A free kick is given, but still no yellow card for any MK player. Lolos is subbed off, and Campbell is at the same time, Ronan Darcy and Jack Roles come on for fresh legs.

MK get a corner and force an Addai save, but the offside flag was up anyway. There is a foul by Mukena in his own half, and somewhat unbelievably, the ref books him. They play it wide, and the cross is blocked away by Addai, and he saves the follow up shot. There is finally a booking for MK as one of their players drags Roles down thirty-five yards out. It is played into the box, but cleared, played back in from the other side, two players stretch to try and get a shot away and both fail, but the flag has gone up for offside anyway.

We make the fifth and final substitution, with Williams replaced by Nick Tsaroulla. MK attack and a cross is blasted against an arm two yards away from where it is hit, and the ref has no hesitation in giving MK a penalty. Which Addai saves, and justice is served. MK attack again, but their shot from twenty-five yards out is high and wide.

A break down the right sees a cross come in only to be collected by the MK keeper, but his ball out is won back quickly and a cross from Tsaroulla is blocked for a corner. We are having a lot of the ball and passing it around amongst ourselves all over the pitch, accompanied by a series of ‘oles.’ MK get hacked off with this and hack down Darcy. Another hack on Liam Kelly follows quickly, there is a serious lack of yellow cards for such thuggish play from MK, it is deliberate brutality.

Roles gets the ball in midfield and his shot from thirty yards sees the MK keeper make a hash of the save, but he is lucky as the deflected ball comes back off the post. Another MK lunge through the back of a player, this time Gordon, and no yellow card.

On eighty minutes we break down the right, the ball is played into Orsi, who tries twisting and turning every which way trying to get a shot away to get his hat trick, and the ball ends up with Roles, who slots it in, and it is 4-1 on the night, 7-1 on aggregate. A mass exodus is occurring in the home end now.

There is finally a second booking for the thugs after a foul on Tsaroulla. Scumbag number eighteen kicks the ball away after another foul, but somehow doesn’t pick up a booking. Is he immune or something?

Four added minutes are indicated. Thankfully, it is shown how long on the big screen, as no one can make out a word the bloke on the PA is trying to say. We move the ball down the left after more sustained possession, just playing it around and having MK chasing shadows. The ball comes to Darcy, but his shot is over.

Back down the left again, it is worked through into the box and Darcy squares it across two yards out and Orsi is there at the far post to chest the ball into the net for his hat trick, and to make the score 5-1 on the night and 8-1 on aggregate. Seriously, how fucking good is this?

From the restart MK attack and they crash a shot that comes back off the crossbar. Their number fourteen hauls Darcy down, both hand pulling the back of the shirt and throwing him to the ground, and there are ironic cheers as he finally gets booked.

The final whistle goes. We have done. Crawley Town are heading to Wembley for the first time in their history. They will be up against Crewe Alexandra, who upset the odds to come back from a first leg deficit against the steamroller that was Doncaster Rovers and beat them on penalties. I don’t know if the crowd was announced, it was impossible to tell what was being said, but the MK website had the official crowd as being 10,053 with 1,630 away fans.

It took quite some time for the elated fans to come down from their seats up in the gods and may take them some time to stop pinching themselves at what they have witnessed over the two legs. The long journey home is probably still ongoing for most fans. Meanwhile it was back to the hotel to write this, watch highlights and be generally deliriously happy, only to find the lead I have to charge the camera doesn’t work as a data transfer lead, and so the photos from the night can’t be added to this.

Roll on the bun fight for the tickets for Wembley, there should be more than enough to go around. One more win for that unexpected promotion.

Come on you reds.

I Dons Want To Miss A Thing

A bit of Aerosmith lyric mangling for our last home game of the season.

Here it is – The Playoffs. A first for Crawley Town. Victory in the last home game of the season saw us grab the final playoff place, and today is the first leg of the semi-final against the Milton Keynes Dons. It hasn’t been a quiet ten days since that win against Grimsby Town. The usual post-match curry at The Downsman had a change of venue, as The Downsman is closed for refurbishment until the end of May. The refurb I can understand (get rid of the furry lightshades etc.), but whoever thought of the timing needs a kick up the arse. Missing the last home game of the season seemed silly, but with a home playoff game, and both legs of the playoffs being televised, they will be missing out.

The Sunday night saw Helen and I go to the Crawley Town end of season awards ceremony at Lingfield Park, and they had a different kind of horsey / Orsi to the ones usually found there. It was a good night and something I’ve already written about.

Then came Tuesday and the start of the ticket sales. I wandered down to the ground Tuesday lunchtime and it took and hour in the queue before getting tickets. Being able to work from home and flex to do the hours at other times of the day helped. The queue kept moving though, which by all accounts is more than the phone lines were managing to do. Wednesday was calmer, only for Thursday to be mental again as general sales started. Queues were mental, phone lines were mental, and the website packed up and fucked off for most of the day until all seats and the south terrace tickets had sold out. Queues dispersed only for the north terrace tickets to go on sale forty minutes later.

Friday saw the last lot of one hundred north terrace tickets on sale, plus the away leg tickets went on sale for the season ticket holders. The queue when we got there at nine was back to the player’s entrance and it took nearly an hour to get tickets, and it wasn’t long before the final first leg tickets sold out. There were not separate queues for the two sets of tickets, which wasn’t helping matters. Spotted Crawley nicked my photo to show the queue on their Facebook page.

Talking about missed opportunities, there did seem to be one in the club’s car park. With all the queues all week, it would have been the perfect spot for a mobile fast-food van to set up. Teas and coffees, sausage and bacon baps, chip and burgers, and anything else. A captive audience in the queue. The club could have made some money as well by charging them for the pitch. Or was that just my stomach thinking?

Then came the rain. Noah would have been busy. The pitch was declared unplayable, and the game was moved from the Bank Holiday Monday at 3pm to the Tuesday night at 7:30pm. There was a lot of moaning about the pitch not being covered when they knew rain was coming. But it really wouldn’t have made any difference. I live a ten-minute walk away from the ground, and in the nine years I’ve lived where I have the little front garden has never flooded before, but this was the state of it at 10am, and it stayed like that until well into the late evening.

It may well be out first playoff appearance, but the MK Dons have been here five times before at various levels. And they have gone out at the semi-final stage every single time. It would be nice if we could help them keep that particular streak going.

We played them at home back in August in our second home game of the season and we won by my perennial favourite prediction score of 2-1. The return fixture at their place came between Christmas and New Year and they won that one 2-0 which Scott Lindsey and many watching suggested was not a fair reflection of how well we played.

But none of that matters now. All that does is these two games, and the opportunity to make it to Wembley.

I am happy as the rumours that we would be producing a programme for our home leg happened to be true, with pictures of it being shared on the club website on Sunday. It did mean that I made my way to the ground even earlier than I usually do to make sure I got myself one.

It also was a chance to take some pregame photos. The TV gantries are up as the game is also live on the so-called necessary evil of Sky Sports. We have two neighbours with us again, with Clare and Lynn joining us, which I’m hoping is a good luck charm, as the other games they have attended of the last couple of years have ended with home wins for Crawley.

I got a programme, four quid for twenty pages, not terrific value for money, but better than nothing, and not as error strewn as the ones we had last season, although, somewhat disgracefully, there was nothing about the MK Dons in the programme. Somewhat ironically, they were watering the pitch pre-kick-off.

Not only were the Sky cameras set up in various places in the ground, but the centre circle was covered by a big advert for Sky Bet.

New banners were unfurled before kick-off across the front of the south terrace.

MK were in an all-white kit, and we hadn’t even kicked off before there a was a red smoke flare going off in the south terrace. MK get a first minute corner which takes them at least another minute to take before they waste it. Corey Addai is coming a long way out his goal to clear it, and his second one is caught by the MK keeper and booted back, the striker takes it round Addai, but his shot is brilliantly cleared off the line by Will Wright and the follow up is saved by Addai.

We break down the left and Liam Kelly swaps passes with Adam Campbell on the edge of the area, takes a step into the area and fires a shot into the back of the net and four minutes in we are leading 1-0. Smoke flare number two quickly follows.

A corner follows, swung in, and cleared, but Campbell picks the ball up and his shot is saved, and then cleared. It is a bit nervy. A pass from Addai out to Jay Williams nearly ends in disaster, and not long after an overhit back pass has Addai scrambling to stop an own goal, but there is an outrageous piece of control, before he skips over a desperate lunge from a striker before clearing.

At the other end Klaidi Lolos is causing his own usual brand of chaos, and feeds Danilo Orsi who gets a shot off that goes just wide. We work the ball into the box a couple of times, but just can’t seem to get it to fall for someone to get a shot off. A nice ball is worked to Orsi and his shot from outside the box is just tipped over the bar and on to the top of the net. The corner is headed straight at the keeper by Laurence Maguire from point blank range and cleared.

Harry Forster is giving the ripping the left back a new arsehole, and after skinning him again draws a booking. The MK captain takes Campbell out about a week after the ball had gone, but somehow escapes a booking. Orsi gets a shot that is saved, but the flag goes up for offside.

Liam Kelly is chopped down on the left wing and Wright fires the free kick into the box where Williams stretches out a leg and gets a touch on it to steer it past the keeper and as we reach the end of normal time in the half, we lead 2-0.

I was too busy celebrating the goal to see how many added minutes went up on the board, but two minutes were played, and we go into the break 2-0 up.

We have a steady start to the second half and work a chance to Forster on the edge of the penalty area, but his shot is just over. Maguire gets a booking for an innocuous challenge in midfield. MK get a shot from the resulting free kick, which Addai saves. At the other end a Wright long throw ends up with Lolos, whose shot is blocked, as is Wright’s follow up effort. Forster is taken out again, and another MK player goes into the book.

There are a couple of substitutions made, with Campbell and Forster coming off to be replaced by Ronan Darcy and Kellen Gordon just before the hour mark.

MK have a break, but their striker puts it wide trying to curl it around Addai. We attack and Darcy gets the ball in the right corner of their penalty area and shoots, it looks like it takes a deflection on the way to looping over the keeper and into the net and we lead 3-0. Wow.

Dion Conroy gets a booking for kicking the ball away in midfield. The free kick from MK gets to their striker, but the shot is easily saved by Addai. MK have a spell of possession. They work it to the absolute tool wearing the number eighteen shirt and his shot flies high over the KRL Logistics stand to a chorus of ironic cheers, and that is the only ball loss of the game.

At the other end Darcy has the ball again just outside the box and tries to chip the keeper, but it hasn’t quite got enough pace on it, and the keeper manages to get to it. MK have a corner, which Addai collects, but he gets clouted by a stray knee in doing so and gets some treatment.

Jeremy Kelly is substituted, with Nick Tsaroulla coming on to replace him. Another Wright free kick causes chaos in the box, there are a couple of efforts before the ball is bundled over the line. But the flag is up on the far side for offside.

MK get a shot over the bar. Then run the ball out of play and their number eighteen boots the pitch side microphone in frustration. It’s his best shot of the game so far. We make another substitution, with Orsi leaving the field to be replaced by Ade Adeyemi for the final five minutes plus added time. Of which there are six minutes.

We pick up another booking for kicking the ball away, but it is telling that the referee didn’t book an MK player for doing the same thing just a minute before. Lolos goes on another of those mazy runs where you think he’s lost the ball half a dozen times, but he still has in the box, but his pass is cut out when everyone was screaming for him to have a shot.

The full-time whistle goes, and we have won 3-0. It is a great result. But it is only a job half done. Yes, there is cautious optimism going into Saturday’s second leg, but nothing to take for granted. Think Peterborough last year giving up a 4-0 first leg lead to miss out.

The crowd was announced as 5,564 with 675 away fans, and the atmosphere was electric. The official man of the match was announced as Jay Williams. All in all, that was probably out best home performance of the season and saved for exactly the right time. More of the same on Saturday please.

Tickets are purchased, train tickets are booked, hotel is secured. Milton Keynes here we come.

Come on you reds.

What Does It Take To Win A Playoff Place

Motown making an appearance at this late stage in the season as I mangle the classic Jr Walker & The All Stars song.

It’s the final league game of the season, and we are at home for a change. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster season as we limp into the final game after two losses and two draws in the last four matches. Results which have seen us slip out of that final playoff place and into eighth in the table after midweek games saw Doncaster extend their winning run to ten games and jump above us in the table.

It is no longer in our own hands. There are many scenarios. In simple terms.

If we lose then we miss the playoffs, and depending on other results we could end up as low as tenth in the table.

If we draw then we need a whole host of other things to happen – Barrow have to lose by two goals, Bradford City have to not win, and Walsall must not win by four goals or more. That set of results would lift us to seventh.

If we win then it would need Barrow to lose or draw, OR Crewe Alexandra to lose, OR Doncaster Rovers to lose. If any of that happens then we are in the playoffs. For each of the three above that happens if we also win, we go up a place in the league, so if all three were to lose (or Barrow draw) then we would finish fifth.

So, it means that there will be a lot of people with at least half an eye on phones etc. to see what is happening elsewhere as our game takes place. In an ideal world the scoreboard would show the live scores during the game. But under league regulations they aren’t allowed to. Not for the fans or the players / managers etc, but because the match officials aren’t allowed to know what is happening elsewhere. Several officials were suspended / demoted a couple of seasons ago after having mobiles with them during the final games of the season.

It’s unlikely that the televised Sky game will help. Crewe need a point to guarantee being in the playoffs and their opponents Colchester need a point to guarantee survival, so that game has West Germany vs Austria from the 1982 World Cup written all over it.

Anyway, today’s opponents are Grimsby Town, who managed to secure safety from relegation last Saturday, and hopefully will come and not be bothered, with having nothing to play for. But we all know it rarely works like that. The away fixture was back in September, when after being 2-0 down, Danilo Orsi scored a ninety-sixth minute winner in a 3-2 result (that was after Klaidi Lolos had done the same the week before at home to Tranmere Rovers). And we did think – however briefly – that Orsi had done the same last week against Sutton United, only for the flag to go up (somewhat dubiously) and dash our hopes.

The game is another sell out (from a home tickets perspective), so let us all hope that it goes better than the other sellout or near sellout games this season at home, as we have lost all four of them. We have one additional person in tow for this game, with one of our neighbours – Clare – joining us as she knows the Grimsby Town No 30, as she sits next to his dad and uncle in her season ticket seats at Tottenham and has seen him grow up from a baby.

It has been what seems like a hell of a long four days since the Tuesday night results came in. There are nerves in play, a touch of anticipation, some hope required, a bit of dread, and no doubt for those who believe in such things, some prayers as well.

Grant, who sits behind us had got permission from the club to do some drone filming of the stadium, and the players warm up pre-game, and he’ll be cutting that and letting the club have it, so looking forward to that.

Grimsby are in their traditional black and white vertical stripes shirts, black shorts, and white socks. It isn’t the most coherent of starts, and eight minutes in Grimsby have their first attack, the ball is played across the six-yard box from the left and at the back of the box their attacked is there with a free hit, which is high over the bar and over the Eden Utilities Stand for the only ball loss of the day.

We are having a lot of possession, but the final ball isn’t quite there again. Adam Campbell picks the ball up about forty yards out and heads towards goal, gets into the box before shooting, but the shot is wide. Ade Adeyemo’s pace and trickery is used to good effect down the right wing, but his cross is overhit and goes across the box and out for a throw on the other side.

It takes sixteen minutes for the first corner of the game, and it goes to Grimsby, but amounts to nothing. There is a bit of a buzz from the phone watchers, there is a goal elsewhere. Mansfield Town have taken the lead against Barrow. We get a corner of our own, but it is easily cleared and Grimsby break and get another corner of their own. It goes all the way over to the back post and from a tight angel two yards out the header comes back across the face of the goal and out for a goal kick. Grimsby are creating more chances and get another shot away which goes wide.

On twenty-three minutes Adeyemo plays a ball across the park to the left wing to Jeremy Kelly and his cross is taken down by Danilo Orsi, who slots the ball into the net, and we lead 1-0, and as things stand, we are in the playoffs.

A couple of minutes later there is a free kick twenty-five yards out, just left of centre. Will Wright stands over it and his shot is heading for the top corner but is well saved, the follow up is put out for a corner, but that goes out for a goal kick. We are having more of the ball and creating more now. A ball is worked across to Adeyemo from the left wing and his long shot along the ground is easily saved by the Grimsby keeper.

Just after the half hour mark there is a ball in the air down the right wing, Campbell and Orsi get headers on, and the ball falls to Klaidi Lolos, he cuts outside to the right, beats a player and gets a shot off across the keeper and it nestles in the bottom left hand corner of the net and we lead 2-0.

There are scores elsewhere, Colchester have taken the lead against Crewe, I’m not sure that was really in either team’s script. And somewhat unsurprisingly, Doncaster are two up against Gillingham. As it stands, we are up to sixth.

We are on the attack again and Adeyemo’s shot is blocked. It goes for a throw and Wright lobs a missile in, but it is cleared. Grimsby attack, and they have a curling shot from just outside the box on the left-hand side which Corey Addai just tips around the post for a corner. There are two added minutes at the end of the half, and the half ends with us leading 2-0.

Elsewhere the half times are Barrow 0 – Mansfield 1, Colchester 1 – Crewe 0, and Gillingham 0 – Doncaster 2, and as it stands, we are sixth and will be playing the on a roll Doncaster.

The second half sees Grimsby start the quicker, and they get a corner, and on another attack a shot on goal before Crawley start to settle into the half. Adeyemo gets down the right wing and his cross is blocked for a corner, which is cleared, put back in and cleared again.

About quarter of an hour into the half and Barrow have equalised in their game, which doesn’t affect our place in the playoffs. Lolos has another attempt to twinkle-toes his way into the box, but the ball runs away from him to the keeper before he can get a shot off. Substitutions are made. Grimsby get another corner which Addai catches.

Gillingham are suddenly level in their game against Doncaster, and Doncaster are down to ten men, so that’s getting interesting.

There is a bit of nervy passing around the back, it is not as comfortable as the scoreline should make it. Grimsby get another corner, but it is cleared, and we break, and it ends with another Lolos shot straight at the keeper. Jeremy Kelly is having fun against the Grimsby right back; he turns him inside out near the halfway line. The look of disgust / resignation on the right back’s face is a picture to behold.

We are keeping possession down the left; we win a corner and just try to keep it there. No board has gone up to indicate how many added minutes there are at the end of the half, but there ends up being four added minutes played before the final whistle goes and it is confirmed as a 2-0 win.

There is a pitch invasion, and red smoke flares are involved, but the final results are through from everywhere else yet. Doncaster comes first, they finish with a 2-2 draw and secure their place in the playoffs, Crewe come next, they get a ninety-second minute equaliser to grab their point to guarantee their playoff spot. And we wait for the Barrow score to be finalised. The final whistle goes there, and they have only drawn, and therefore it is now official. Crawley have qualified for the playoffs. Barrow drop out of the playoff places on the last day of the season having been in them since October.

The season continues. Tomorrow night is the club’s award ceremony at Lingfield racecourse, which we are going to, and then the playoff games start. We are playing the MK Dons, with the home game being on Bank Holiday Monday afternoon, and the away game on the Thursday night of that week. Just need to see when the tickets go on sale for them, and sort transport and possibly hotels for the away game.

How good is this season?

Come on you reds.

Close But No Cigar

It’s a Weird Al Yankovic kind of day and so it’s his song which is used as a title for this piece. The main surprise being it took me this long into the season to shoehorn a Weird Al reference in.

It’s the final away game of the season. The short trip north to take on Sutton United in what could be a pivotal game for both sides. It comes hot on the heels on Tuesday night’s home draw against Barrow, a result which although still leaving us in the playoff places with only two games left to play, means that finishing there is currently no longer in our own hands. Doncaster Rovers are now two points behind us, and they now have a crucial game in hand, and are on a ridiculously long run of games won.

Crawley have sold a lot of tickets for this final away game, with the count nearing 1,200, which would be the largest away EFL crowd in Crawley’s history. As it stands Sutton are in the relegation places, four points behind Colchester United and Six behind Grimsby Town with two games to play. A win for Crawley today would seal Sutton’s fate and send them back down to the National League. Meanwhile Doncaster are away at Barrow, so the team just above us is playing the team just below us, and in an ideal world both teams would lose. In reality I would settle for Doncaster not winning.

We have already played Sutton twice this season. The home league game was an impressive 3-0 win with goals from Adam Campbell, Laurence Maguire, and Danilo Orsi. We also played them ten days later in a drab 0-0 draw in the group stage of the Bristol Street Motors Trophy at Sutton. A repeat of the former result would be much appreciated today.

The usual Saturday stroll to the Broadfield stadium is taking place, an hour or two earlier than usual, so we can get one of the coaches up to the game run by the wonderful GH Coaches.

The club have put up the end of season award polls for fans to vote on. There are three categories for us to choose winners in, Goal Of The Season, Player Of The Season, and Young Player Of The Season. I have voted already and am happy to share that I voted for Harry Forster’s goal against Bristol Rovers in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy as goal of the season. For sheer euphoria it would be a goal not on this list, as the feeling when Klaidi Lolos got the fourth goal away at Bradford City will be hard to beat. (Obviously if we were to make the playoffs and there was a flukey deflection off someone’s arse from a yard out in the last minute of the playoff final, that would be the goal of the season.)

I’ve gone for Klaidi Lolos as the young player of the season, and he would be in the top three for me in player of the season, but I’ve gone for Corey Addai. Yes, he has had the odd brain freeze, but he has made so many important saves during the season, and he will run the length of the pitch to drag other players out of potential fisticuffs, as he has done a couple of times recently. Plus, he went to battle for his teammate after the Gillingham home game when their dick of a coach Doug Livermore punched Ronan Darcy.

Even the short coach journey doesn’t agree with and I’m glad to be off the coach and walking to the ground as others headed to the pub. I haven’t been to Sutton before, and the stadium is a lot lower slung that I was expecting. I got a programme, but it was more complicated than it should have been. Apparently, they usually have a little temporary kiosk for the programmes inside the turnstiles, but it wasn’t there today, the programmes were inside the turnstile booth, so it was fun and games trying to get in to get a programme when there was even the slightest break in the steady stream of Crawley fans coming in. But I got one, so all is good.

Sutton are in all yellow and Crawley are in all white as we kick off defending the goal the Crawley fans are behind. We get an early chance and a Danilo Orsi shot is tipped around the post for a corner. There is a long throw from Will Wright into the box and a shot from Klaidi Lolos goes over the bar.

Harry Forster attacks down the right, cuts inside and feeds the ball across to Nick Tsaroulla, who cuts in and has a shot which is over the bar again. A through ball finds Orsi in the box and he takes it down well, but his shot is well saved by the Sutton keeper.

Sutton’s first proper attack sees a shot fly over the bar and only not hit me in the face because I’m next to a metal railing, but it did properly wake me up. At the other end there is decent work up the right and a Lolos thunderbolt is well saved. A follow shot is blocked and the cross that comes in after is put behind for a corner, which is cleared for another corner, only for us to put the ball out of play from that.

Back on the attack, another Sutton shot is well saved by Corey Addai. There is a stoppage for an injury to Lolos, and once play restarts the Sutton attempted cross sails over the stand we are in, and it is ball loss number one of the day. Sutton attack again down the middle of the park and there is a more comfortable save from Addai.

After some time, we manage to get out of our own half. Forster down the right wing again, and he wins a corner which is easily cleared. Sutton come down the other end and work the ball into the box, but it is headed wide. They attack again, another cross, another header, another Addai save.

With a few minutes to go before half time, we work the ball down the right again through Forster, he cuts in and crosses it. Orsi controls and passes to Tsaroulla, who lays it back to Liam Kelly who curls a shot into the top corner, and we lead 1-0. Which leads to the now rarely seen red smoke flare being thrown onto the pitch. Which is eventually removed by an extra from Lord of the Rings in a high-vis vest.

There are four minutes added time at the end of the half. Another long throw goes into the box, and it bounces around in there for a few seconds before the final header goes just wide and the half time whistle goes with Crawley leading 1-0. And Doncaster losing 2-0. So, all is good.

Two minutes into the second half and Sutton attack, a cross is headed clear, and a follow up shot takes a deflection, bounces up and wrong foots Addai and it’s 1-1. Not so good.

Another long throw into the box sees Dion Conroy dragged down on the edge of the area but claims are waved away. We work the ball out to Tsaroulla who cuts inside and shoots, but it is high enough to clear the stand we are in for ball loss number two of the day. Yet another long throw comes into the box, there is lots of grabbing and wrestling going on, and more penalty claims which are waved away, and the ball goes out for a goal kick.

We get a corner after another Forster run down the right, it is cleared, and then put back in but goes for another goal kick. Sutton are getting more of the ball now, but we break through Forster into the box, but it is blocked away, we keep the ball, and there are three, what look to be fouls by Sutton near the box, but when the whistle goes it is for a free kick to Sutton.

Substitutions start to be made. We win a free kick thirty yards out dead centre. Wright takes and it is just past the left-hand post. After a Sutton attack, we try to break quickly only for Ade Adeyemo to be cynically hacked down near the halfway line. It’s a yellow card, but another ten or fifteen yards up the pitch it could easily have been a red.

Instead, there is another of our well know brain freeze moments at the back, a bit of a mix-up, Jay Williams seems to gift the ball to a Sutton striker, and they make no mistake in putting it in the net and we are now losing 1-2.

There is another free kick for us thirty yards out, this time on the right. The ball comes in and it looks like Jack Roles is wrestled to the ground, only for the ref to give a free kick to Sutton for a handball. And then the Sutton keeper goes down with a spurious timewasting injury.

We are trying to get some sustained pressure, but time after time the final ball is just off. Too many times it is in the air and their seven feet four inch tall number four just keeps heading it away. Then a cross beats him and Lolos’s header loops to the keeper.

Five added minutes are shown on the board. We get the ball out to Lolos on the left and he jinks inside, beats three players, and has a shot which takes a slight deflection and goes in to level it back up at 2-2.

Another break follows and Adam Campbell sees his shot cleared off the line and Liam Kelly’s follow up is saved. We break again, work the ball through to Campbell who crosses it along the ground and Orsi is there to put it in off the post. Cue absolute scenes. But the flag is up for an offside. It wasn’t possible for it to have been Orsi, so it must have been when it was played through to Campbell. (If it had have counted there was another instead goal of the season contender.)

The full-time whistle goes, and it finishes 2-2. And then there is a full-on punch up in the middle of the pitch with both benches clearing to join in. It’s suggested Lolos was in the middle of it, and a few people end up on the floor before it disperses, and there were no obvious cards shown by the ref.

The crowd was announced as being 4,675, with a massive 1,152 Crawley fans in attendance. It’s just a shame the result didn’t go the right way either. And to top it off, Doncaster came back and ended up beating Barrow 4-2. We are still in the playoff places, but on goal difference only now, and Doncaster have a game in hand against Colchester on Tuesday night. Barrow also have a game in hand to be played Tuesday night, so all we can do now is to beat Grimsby at home next Saturday and hope that results go in our favour elsewhere. Sutton aren’t quite down. Their goal difference means that they need a big win and for Colchester to get thumped in both of their games to stay up, but stranger things have happened.

The coaches on the way back voted Liam Kelly as their man of the match, which was fair enough. Not sure what game some of those on the coach were watching when they were nominating some of our defenders for the award.

A week to go before the final game of the season. One spent watching through fingers watching the scores on Tuesday night, and then the Grimsby Town game on Saturday. They made themselves safe today, and so hopefully will play like a side with nothing to play for.

Come on you reds.

Despite Cockups and Muscles, We’re Still Alive Alive-o

A lot of people have done versions of Molly Malone, but none have been mangled as much as I’ve just done in this title. If I had to pick a version then I would go for The Dubliners, after all, I heard a lot of that as a child. And it’s used as there aren’t a lot of barrow mentions in other songs, with or without wheels.

Without much time to rest and recuperate it is another home game tonight. After the error strewn disappointment of Saturday’s loss against relegation threatened Colchester United, we are back in action against Barrow, in a rearranged game as the original due to be played on March 2nd was postponed due to our pitch being waterlogged. And although there was some biblical rain yesterday, there has been high winds and sunny spells to ensure the pitch is playable for tonight.

We go into the game in the final playoff spot, and are two points behind our opponents tonight, so a win would see us leapfrog them into sixth, even if they do have a game in hand after another of their recent games was postponed due to their pitch being waterlogged. And it has been hotting up behind us. There are five teams within three points of us, with Doncaster Rovers now only a single point behind us and on a run of wins that looks like it would take some stopping. But it is still in our own hands, win the last three games and we will be in the playoffs regardless of what anyone else does.

It is a hell of a trip down from Barrow on a Tuesday night, but they have brought a coach, some cars and eleven long haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse microbus in a convoy. And they’ve brought Dom Telford with them for his first Broadfield Stadium action since missing a penalty against Gillingham at the start of the season before he was sold to Barrow.

We arrive as the sun is setting over the corner of the KRL Logistics stand, and it is a totally different sky depending on whether you look north (lovely),

Or south (welcome to Mordor).

Despite the nice sunset it did rain on us all the way to the ground. Barrow are in white shirts with blue arms, blue shorts, and socks.

It is a cagey start, and it takes a while for the first shot to come, and it’s Jay Williams from about thirty yards out and it goes just over the bar. The ref has got his book out early on and there is a booking for each side for their first heavy challenge. Only for him to calm down and let a few more robust ones go (including a couple on Harry Forster again). There is a free kick on the wing, but Will Wright’s free kick is straight into the keeper’s arms.

Barrow attack and a shot is blocked, there is a Dom Telford miscue (where have we seen that before?) and a Corey Addai save before a cross goes wide. At the other end Ade Adeyemo gets a shot on the edge of the area but it is blocked within a couple of yards.

There is a lot of nothing going on for quite some time. Then we work it forward and Adeyemo has it in the box, his shot is blocked, hits a defender in the face and the keeper has to save it. Most of our good play is from getting it to the two wing backs high up the pitch, but we don’t do this anywhere near often enough. Lots of slow possession, and each backwards or sideways pass is getting met with groans.

Ten minutes before the break, Adeyemo tries to prevent to ball going to their winger but at full stretch just slows it down for him, the cross goes into the box, over the defence and their number 20 is at the back post and his header can’t be kept out by Addai and we are down 0-1.

It’s a while before our next attack, but a Wright ball finds Klaidi Lolos in the box and his shot is force over the bar for a corner. Which we waste. There are three added minutes at the end of the half. Enough time to get a cross in from the left wing which Adeyemo heads just wide at the back post. And the half time whistle goes with it 0-1.

The second half starts with a wasted free kick early on. Then an attack down the right and the cross is turned behind for a corner, which is headed clear, it comes back, and a shot is blocked, reclaimed, and then passed all the way back to Addai.

Another attack sees who knows what going on. We have a shot; it is blocked and there are claims for a penalty. It is cleared, put back in, there is another shot, and it bounces around and the keeper claims it. Then the ref points at the spot and we have a penalty. Was it for the handball? Who cares, even if it took an age to give. Danilo Orsi has the ball, and the Barrow players are taking as long as possible to allow the penalty to be taken. Their goalie is booked after coming back out off his line after everyone has lined up outside the box. Orsi ignores it all and sends the keeper the wrong way and it is 1-1.

Barrow have a bit of pressure, a corner is turned behind for another, from which Addai makes a great save, and there is a third corner which we eventually clear. We attack and there is clever work from Adeyemo down the right, it goes to Liam Kelly and his ball into the box finds Lolos and his shot is cleared by a defender after beating the keeper. We work it back across the field to the left and win a corner, and an Adam Campbell shot is beaten away and the follow up goes wide right.

At the other end a corner is half cleared, and played back in, a header comes out off the post and their shot is well saved by Addai, and the third effort is also stopped by Addai before the ball is cleared away. Barrow play a long ball over the top and it is taken down in the area by their striker, but one on one with Addai it is saved and cleared.

Lolos wins a free kick on the right-hand edge of the area about twenty-five yards out. The cross is headed out for a corner, which is wasted once again. Barrow attack, their cross is headed back to someone in the box, but their shot is over the bar. Then Barrow have the ball in the net, but the ref had blown for a free kick for handball before it was.

There are six added minutes. In which we huff and puff a bit. A Campbell cross is headed wide by Orsi, and there is a Dion Conroy shot from distances which is just wide, but the final whistle goes, and it is a 1-1 draw.

The crowd was announced as being 3,155 with 108 away fans, and the sponsors’ man of the match was Will Wright. Not sure why.

The draw doesn’t do us any favours. We stay seventh, a point ahead of Walsall who won tonight, and two ahead of Doncaster Rovers who have a game in hand against Colchester United next Tuesday night. It is no longer in our own hands, we are going to need help from somewhere, but we still have the right position, and all we can do now is go out and win those last two games.

Next up is out final away game of the season with a fairly local game against Sutton United, where the away tickets had sold out, but they have released another 450 this afternoon.

Come on you reds.