More Crawley Observations

I’m out early on a Saturday morning. It’s a writing group day which means there is always going to be a Maccy D’s breakfast involved. And being in town before nine in the morning means I get one of my cherished window seats so I can watch what is going on in the world outside.

The market – as it is – is already set out and awaiting customers. But Crawley isn’t really an early bird kind of town and there isn’t much footfall. Most of the passers-by are picking up food to be delivered – Deliveroo, Just Eat, Uber Eats, Too Fucking Lazy To Get It Yourself? (that last one’s name may not catch on) – both from Maccy D’s and Greggs next door.

The stall opposite where I am looking out is selling watches, sunglasses, and mobile related items. All at cheap knock-off style prices, and has a couple of big signs saying, “Cash Only,” so it isn’t dodgy in the slightest, is it? I’m intrigued that in one of the trays of sunglasses on display there appears to be a pair with the Maccy D’s logo on them. It takes me longer than it should to realise it’s reflecting the logo from the Maccy D’s I’m sat in. I’m not going to lie. I’m not quite at full capacity this early in the morning.

The mall is nearly empty and WH Smith has more people on tills than there are customers in the shop. Something that is unheard of as they are usually trying to shepherd you to the useless self-service tills instead of serving you. Perhaps it’s too early for them to be pretending to look busy elsewhere in the shop.

I then jump to after the Crawley game and our now traditional post-match curry at The Downsman. When we were there last week, they closed the main men’s toilets due to flooding. They were still closed due to flooding when we went in this evening. I went to the other toilet in the pub, only to find that they weren’t going to be long in being open before they too were closed to flooding, mainly due to the fact that the inbreeds in there were incapable of hitting the urinals.

From where I was sat, I could see the door of the closed toilets, with the sign on the door saying they were closed due to flooding. Now, if I wasn’t at full capacity early in the morning whilst in Maccy D’s, then there were loads of blokes nowhere near full capacity in the early evening in the Downsman.

At least half a dozen of them walk up to the door, push it several times, look confused as to why the door isn’t opening, and then look up at the sign on the door as if it had suddenly appeared since they had tried pushing the door. If there was a camera on the door then there would be a great gallery of gormless looking morons. At least one of them did it twice. Not a single one looked at the notice first, every single one of them tried the door first and then read the notice.

For all the use it is, the notice might have well read,

“If you notice this notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.”

It’s A Mad Mad Mad World

I try to stay away from political or world commentary posts, mainly because there are far more fervent commentators, who know more about it than me and probably express themselves better as well. I’m very much middle of the road as well, and have an ever growing contempt for the increasingly polarised views of the different political parties, both at home and abroad.

However Covid-19 has made it even more mental and then other world events are pouring fuel to the flames.

In this country we’ve had the omni-shambles of the government dealing with Covid-19, ignoring scientific advice, or championing bad advice, a late lockdown, which was policed badly, and not taken as seriously as other countries (think Spain or Italy). Boris Johnson supposedly caught it and was hospitalised, and then his chief aide (read puppeteer) went on a 260 mile each way round trip with his family. Twice. With a side trip to Barnard Castle. As an eye test. To see if he could drive the 260 miles. During a period where he should clearly have been self-isolating as he would have clearly had contact with Covid-19, at least up to his elbow.

Since day one Donald “screaming scotch egg” Trump has been spouting nonsense, berating governors of democrat states for being in lockdown, then telling people to inject bleach or disinfectant. A crowning glory closely followed by saying he was taking malaria tablets against the FDA’s advice.

Suddenly it’s come out of the woodwork that Russia has an enormous amount of Covid-19 cases, with a suspiciously low death rate (ten per cent of the UK’s), after weeks of Vladimir Putin denying there was any problem with the virus at all.

Meanwhile, now that three of the countries with the biggest imbeciles in charge have the highest infection rates, and mounting death tolls, China, where it all started (and not necessarily naturally) is ramping up its war machine. It has warships out in the South China and Yellow Seas threatening Taiwan (and others), an army lined up to go in and crack down on Hong Kong for not wanting to accept a non-democratically elected stooge, and engineers out building islands in the middle of the aforementioned seas so it can steal the oil, gas and fishing rights from other countries, especially Vietnam. All of which is flying under the radar because we, the US and Russia are all acting like Covid-19 headless chickens.

And if that wasn’t enough..

I was prompted to write this after seeing the Sky News headline:

“Monkeys escape with Covid-19 samples after attacking lab assistant.”

They talk about life imitating art, but surely no one expects to see headlines straight out of a Planet of the Apes film. It turns out the story wasn’t as bad as the headline; they were samples to be tested for Covid-19 and not phials of the disease itself. Well, not this time anyway. Although it does beg the question of what were the monkeys doing in the lab where they were doing the testing on Covid-19 checking kits.

Incidents in the US, especially the killing of George Floyd whilst in police “custody” has led to mass demonstrations and protests. From its epicentre in Minnesota it has spread through the US and to other countries under the long established tag of “Black Lives Matter”.

The demonstrations have led to rioting and looting, most of which has certainly been caused by outside agitators trying to enflame the situation. Curfews have been established and chief idiot Trump wants to call in the army. Something that would have been more appropriate when a gun-toting collection of rednecks rampaged to the Michigan state capitol building demanding to be free from the (Democrat) governor’s lock down order. But of course they were white racists who vote for him, so why would he do anything but egg them on via Twitter.

He then got Washington DC police to tear gas protestors and aid workers to remove them from his path between the White House and St. John’s church. All so he could stand on its steps with a bible in his hand for a photo opportunity.

Amongst the madness, countless whites have been seen looting as if they were living the script from the film The Purge, V for Vendetta is back as the hackers Anonymous returned after almost four years in anonymity to leak dozen of documents relating to Jeffrey Epstein’s case and court documents linking it to Trump. Jumanji has joined in as pictures emerged of a hippopotamus running wild on the streets of Chicago. The title of the film that I’ve used for this blog is nowhere near as mad as the world is now.

And all through these protests, everyone has lost their minds when it comes to thinking about Covid-19 and the social distancing element, so we should fully expect another spike to be incoming.

We aren’t any better in this country. There were demonstrations for Black Lives Matter, but smaller and less violent, and to be fair less crowded than the country’s beaches and beauty spots this last weekend. With an easing of lock down rules people have completely lost the plot (not that a great deal of them had it in the first place).

Social distancing is non-existent, and these morons don’t think about when they go hundreds of miles to the beach that as public buildings, bars, restaurants and cafes are closed, that there are no public toilets; and so they are peeing and defecating all over the shop. And then they go home, leaving all their rubbish behind them. All those bags, cans, containers and wrapping that they managed to bring with them is left strewn all over the beaches and countryside because they are too stupid or lazy to take it away with them, or find a bin for it.

Then there are the disposable barbeques. With the driest May in history, discarded coals are causing fires when left on the tinder dry grass and scrub land they have been using. Or they throw it over a wall thinking it won’t be seen (as seen at Bramber Castle), and it burns whatever is behind the wall.

It may be harsh, but I do think that perhaps Covid-19 needs to up its game a bit and kill more of these halfwits off.

As it stands all that is missing now is an Alien invasion. Although I am hearing that the ship landing is probably booked in for some time next week. Even if Aliens did invade, it would have to be better than what we’ve got at the moment. And if they’re only here for testing, take Trump, Johnson, Putin and Jinping and do us all a favour.

But at least we can get toilet roll again.