I have been known to use the phrase ‘I would rather stick knitting needles in my eyes than…’ where the … hasn’t just been watching or reading something. A lot. A hell of a lot.
However, I feel I may need to stop using that, or at least cut back on using that phrase. Having been diagnosed with diabetic macular oedema my right eye needs treatment, or a course of treatments, which involve injecting something into my eyeball.
At which point I found my eyeballs are quite sensitive. They don’t even like drops being put in them. Even the numbing ones, let alone the antiseptic ones. And they don’t like the air blown into them to test the pressure.
Eyeball pressure. Is that a thing? Blood pressure, tyre pressure, yes, I know them, but eye pressure is a new one on me.
The eye is then clamped open, and a mask put over the rest of the face. I was told where to look (which is harder than it sounds, I seem to struggle to focus on one point unless it is straight on) and whilst concentrating on looking down and to the left they sneak in and stick the needle it the right side of the eyeball away from my peripheral vision.
It doesn’t hurt, the numbing drops make sure of that, but it does feel weird (maybe that is psychosomatic as I’m not sure I’m feeling anything). And then there are bubbles of stuff (I don’t actually know what it is) floating around inside the eye. When the numbing drops wear off the eye is a bit sore, but I thank fuck that’s over.
Only to remember there are four more injections to come at one a month. Trust me, after that, there is no chance of any fucking knitting needles going anywhere near my eyes thank you very much. Let’s just hope the treatment works and five is all I need and that they don’t decide the left one needs doing as well.
It did inspire me (or terrify me enough) to write a poem about it, called Eyes (Not) Right
Don’t worry they say
You won’t feel a thing
Even the local anaesthetic
May cause your eyes to sting
They may be cold
As more drops hit the eye
It is only iodine
For cleaning, not to make you cry
Some tape and a drape
To cover part of your face
And a small metal clamp
To keep your eyelids in place
Please look down and left
And keep your eye fixed there
Don’t move it at all
Of this you must take great care
And as you inspect
The side of your nose
You are not able to
See where the needle goes
Then they are done
The injection is complete
And the clamp is removed
Your eyelids can again meet
The needle is put away
The drugs have been inserted
Little bubbles float inside
You feel somewhat disconcerted
The procedure is done
And off home you can go
Until next month comes around
And you have to repeat the show