Flanagan’s Running Club – Issue 12

Introduction

The first rule of Flanagan’s Running Club is everyone should talk about Flanagan’s Running Club!

Feel free to forward on to anyone you want, tell people about it the works, and just get them to sign up. It’s quick and easy at the website homepage of http://www.onetruekev.co.uk/ enter the e-mail address and select whether you want Flanagan’s Running Club or blog post updates or both and then hit submit.

As an aside, it is worth pointing out that it would be very difficult to have enough highlighter pens to be able to do the below at work.

Can I ask you all a favour, please can you review my book on Inkitt, and the link is below. Even if you don’t take time to read it properly, please flick through a few chapters, give it ratings and a review and vote for it please. It may help me get it published.

https://www.inkitt.com/stories/thriller/201530

On This Day – 24th August  

79 AD – Mount Vesuvius erupts. The cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum, and Stabiae are buried in volcanic ash (note: this traditional date has been challenged, and many scholars believe that the event occurred on October 24).

1875 – Captain Matthew Webb became the first person to swim the English Channel.

1932 – Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly across the United States non-stop (from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey).

1995 – Microsoft Windows 95 was released to the public in North America.

It’s International Strange Music Day

It’s also National Waffle Day in the USA

And it’s Nostalgia Night in Uruguay

Mapping The London Year

1770 – Poet Thomas Chatterton commits suicide in Holborn

Although extremely poor, Chatterton was becoming quite well known, not only through his own works but also through the poems of his adopted persona, Thomas Rowley, a 15th-century monk. Never properly paid or rewarded for his work, the 17-year-old poet retired to his attic and drank a bottle of arsenic. He became famous to poets of the Romantic era and inspired many poems and the wonderful painting Death of Chatterton by Henry Wallis.

Chuck D Presents This Day In Rap And Hip-Hop History

1999 – Ol’ Dirty B@st@rd of the Wu-Tang Clan releases the single “Got Your Money” on Electra Records.

The track was produced by the Neptunes and was off ODB’s sophomore set “N1gga Please”. Peaking at #33 on the Billboard Hot 100, #19 on the R7B chart, and #6 on the Rap chart, “Got Your Money” featured R&B singer Kelis, whose debut album “Kaleidoscope” came out later the same year.

365 – Great Stories From History For Every Day Of The Year

1572 At dawn today, the feast of St Bartholomew, the great bell of Paris’s Saint-Germain-l’Auxerrois church began to toll, signalling the start of the greatest religious massacre in European history. Fired by holy fanaticism, Catholic bands roamed the streets, killing Huguenots and putting their houses to the torch. Over 3,000 were slaughtered, men, women and children.

The real spark-plug for the massacre had come nine years earlier when, in an attempt to bolster the power of the Huguenots, Admiral Gaspard de Coligny had ordered the assassination of the arch-Catholic leader, Francois de Guise. Guise’s murder had produced the desired results, for within a decade Coligny had become the most trusted advisor of France’s neurotic King Charles IX, and Protestant power was at its zenith. But Coligny had made two miscalculations. He had neglected Guise’s son Henri, who swore to avenge his father’s death, and, worse, his influence with King Charles had appeared threatening to Charles’s devious and power mad mother Catherine de’ Medici, who feared losing her control over the King.

Henri de Guise bided his time until both he and Coligny were in Paris during the steamy days of August 1572 for the wedding of the King’s sister. Then he struck.

Guise’s first attempt to murder the Admiral failed when, on 22 August, his hired marksman merely wounded the Huguenot leader. The following day a bandaged Coligny was again closeted with the King, but here he made his last, fatal blunder. He warned King Charles not to trust his mother, saying she lusted only for power. Later that day poor weak Charles repeated this to Catherine and Coligny’s fate was sealed

Summoning the King his brother and several Italian courtiers, Catherine soon persuaded them that Coligny had to die. ‘Kill the Admiral if you want’, screamed Charles hysterically. ‘But you also have to kill all the Huguenots, so that not one is left to reproach me. Kill them all! Kill them all! Kill them all!’ Quickly the Queen Mother authorised Guise to try again.

The final attempt began at 2.30 the next morning, on the feast of St. Bartholomew. Guise and a band of followers stormed Coligny’s house (located where today stands number 144 rue de Rivoli) and cornered the Admiral in his bedroom. Coligny seemed resigned to death. He addressed one young assailant with the words: ‘Young man, you should respect my grey hairs, although you can shorten my life but little.’

Attacked with daggers, the Admiral quickly fell dead, and his corpse was thrown from the window for the waiting crowd of Catholics to dismember and hang for all to see. Then the general massacre began, first in Paris and then spreading through the rest of France, leaving in its wake over 8,000 dead Protestants. Fanatical Catholics everywhere applauded, and in Rome Pope Gregory XIII ordered a Te Deum to celebrate the slaughter.

In the end, the great loser was France itself as religious war continued for the next seventeen years and many Huguenots, among France’s most successful merchants, left the country for England and Holland. King Charles spent his remaining two years on Earth racked with guilt, and Henri de Guise was assassinated in his turn by Charles’s brother sixteen years later. The only winner was the sinister Catherine de’ Medici, who continued to dominate her sons for another seventeen years.

Births

1929 – Yasser Arafat

1945 – Vince McMahon

1957 – Stephen Fry

1958 – Steve Guttenberg

Deaths

2014 – Richard Attenborough

Number 1’s

Number 1 single in 1967 – Scott McKenzie – San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair)

Number 1 album in 1995 – Black Grape – It’s Great When You’re Straight…Yeah

Number 1 compilation album in 2003 – Now 55

Random Results

1966 – Stoke City 2 – Tottenham Hotspur 0

2016 – Los Angeles Dodgers 1 – San Francisco Giants 0

Drabble

A drabble is a complete story that is exactly one hundred words long.

Whitey Final Part

Goodall had returned in an even fouler mood.

“Mr Smith was entirely correct, Michael White is alive and well and in the building.”

“We are currently investigating who made the telephone call to the school this morning and are treating this matter very seriously. If anyone has and further information they should let me know immediately.”

The last sentence of that statement was said whilst staring at me. I was looking anywhere except at Goodall, as it became apparent to me exactly what the important phone call was that Whitey had to stop at the telephone box to make earlier.

Joke

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. “You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me, I’m Me! I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?” The Englishman replied, “Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!”

Random Items

Fact

Only once has there been more than one Queen of England in succession. And then there were three in Succession. Lady Jane Grey was queen for 9 days in 1553, and was usurped by Mary 1, who was in turn usurped by Elizabeth 1 in 1558, who died without issue in 1603.

Firsts

1590 Hans & Zacharias Janssen build the first microscope

1608 Hans Lippershey makes the first official telescope

1668 Sir Isaac Newton builds the first reflecting telescope

1931 Ernst Ruska and Max Knoll develop the first electron microscope.

1937 Grota Reber builds the first radio telescope

Thought

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Forgotten English

Disdesire

To desire to be without.

Ambrose Bierce’s Demon’s Dictionary

LITIGATION

A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Words You Should Know

Assuage

A verb meaning to relieve or soothe, as in to assuage someone’s feelings (make them feel better) or to assuage their thirst (give them a glass of water). It’s loosely connected with suave; both come from the Latin for ‘sweet, pleasant’ and this is a sweet pleasant word.

Popular Expressions – What They Mean And Where We Got Them

To cut your coat according to your cloth

‘This metaphorical proverb dates back to the sixteenth century and is all about good housekeeping and living within one’s means. It is self-evidently sensible advice to keep to one’s budget and restrict expenditure to the amount of one’s income.

It is often shortened, becoming simply ‘to cut your coat’.

Rappers of the Nineties Trumps

Quote(s)

Ellie – Amalgamated. That’s such a big word.

Going Underground

Rickmansworth

Was recorded as Prichemareworde in the Domesday Book and the name is derived from a personal name Ricmaer and Old English worp, ‘enclosure’ – and means ‘Ricmaer’s farm with the enclosure’. It seems that Ricmaer is a continental name and this person had recently come from Europe and settled here. There have been many changes of spelling including Rikmersworth in 1430, until the present spelling was adopted.

The Station opened as RICKMANSWORTH on 1 September 1887

Top Ten

The 10 most common elements on the moon.
NoElement
1Oxygen
2Silicon
3Iron
4Calcium
5Titanium
6Aluminium
7Magnesium
8Sodium
9Potassium
10Chromium

Cathedral Fact Files

CathedralHereford Cathedral
Dedicated ToSt Mary and St Ethelbert
TypeMedievalArchitectureGothic
ReligionCOETower / Spire1 Tower
Site Founded676Height (External)165ft
Church Founded1079Height (Internal)64ft
Bishopric Founded544Length344ft
Current Bishopric Founded793Width177ft

Thirty-Three And One Third Revolutions Per Minute

Alexander O’Neal – Hearsay

Hearsay was the second solo studio album by Alexander O’Neal. It was originally released in July 1987, on the labels Tabu and Epic as the follow-up to O’Neal’s critically and commercially successful 1985 album Alexander O’Neal. Hearsay explores similar genres to those of Alexander O’Neal including pop, R&B, soul, post-disco, funk, and adult contemporary music, while also incorporating a newer genre, new jack swing. The songs were largely recorded between 1986 and 1987 in sessions that took place at Flyte Time Productions, Inc. Studio A & B in Minneapolis, Minnesota, assisted by R&B song writing and record production team Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. It features contributions from guest musicians, including Cherrelle, David Eiland, and Lisa Keith, and is generally regarded as the culmination of the smoother, more adult-oriented sound of O’Neal’s early work.

He had originally been in a band with the writers and producers of this album James “Jimmy Jam” Harris and Terry Lewis along with Monte Moir. They were signed by Prince to the Warner Bros label in 1981 and renamed as Time, but O’Neal left the band after falling out with Prince and moving to the Tabu label where he initially did backing vocals for the S.O.S Band and Cherrelle before his first solo release.

On release, the album was received favourably by the majority of music critics and became Alexander O’Neal’s most commercially successful solo album. IT was the first album to have seven or more singles from it hit the UK charts, a record that didn’t last for long with a slew of albums from the late eighties eking out anything up to ten singles from an album. In 2017 O’Neal toured doing the album in full to celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of its release.

The whole album was remixed and re-released as “All Mixed Up” in 1988, and became available as a double album later the same year.

Hearsay has the overtones of a concept album, being loosely set around the attendees of a house party being hosted by O’Neal. Over the course of the album, the themes that are played out include O’Neal’s advances towards a particular woman in the room (“What Can I Say To Make You Love Me“), as well as his observations on other attendees of the party – for instance a courting couple (“The Lovers“), a spiteful gossip-monger (“Hearsay“), a loudmouth – implied to be a groupie (“Fake“), and a nagging ex-lover (“Criticize“), unrequited admiration (“Crying Overtime“), and culminating in the finale (“When the Party’s Over“), where O’Neal finally persuades the woman to stay after the party is over. Interspersed between the tracks are “interludes” consisting of general background noise and conversation between the partygoers which sets up the theme of the next song.

Track listing

All tracks written by James Harris and Terry Lewis, except where noted.

Side one

1. – “Interlude” – 0:35

2. – “(What Can I Say) To Make You Love Me” – 4:25 – Fifth single released from the album, reached number 27 in the UK singles chart in 1988.

3. – “Interlude” – 0:57

4. – “Hearsay” – 4:01 – Sixth single released from the album, after the remix from “All Mixed Up“, reached number 56 in the UK singles chart in 1989.

5. – “Interlude” – 0:13

6. – “The Lovers” – 4:38 – Fourth single released from the album, reached number 28 in the UK singles chart in 1988.

7. – “Interlude” – 0:45

8. – “Fake” – 3:56 – Lead single from the album, reached number 25 on the Billboard Hot 100, and number 33 on the UK singles Chart in 1987. Was re-issued as the remix from “All Mixed Up” in 1988 and reached number 16 on the UK singles chart. Featured heavily in songs I murdered on karaoke in the early nineties.

9. – “Interlude” – 0:37

10. – “Criticize” (Harris & Lewis & Garry Johnson & Alexander O’Neal) – 4:11 – Second single release from the album, reached number 70 on the Billboard Hot 100, and number 4 on the UK singles Chart in 1987. His only top ten solo hit (he also reached number 6 with the duet with Cherrelle – “Saturday Love” in 1985)

Side two

11. – “Interlude” – 0:28

12. – “Never Knew Love Like This” (with Cherrelle) – 5:09 – Third single released from the album, a duet with his label mate Cherrelle, who he had had a previous hit single with on “Saturday Love“. Reached number 28 on the Billboard Hot 100, and number 26 on the UK singles Chart in 1988.

13. – “Interlude” – 0:17

14. – “Sunshine” – 5:59 – Was the seventh and final single release from the album (though with the title of “Sunshine and Rain“), reaching number 72 on the UK single charts in 1989 It has been sampled twenty two times on various Hip-hop songs since, more times than all the other tracks on the album.

15. – “Crying Overtime” – 5:13

16. – “Interlude” – 0:25

17. – “When the Party’s Over” – 3:32

Personnel

Alexander O’Neal – vocals; arranger; rhythm arrangements

Jimmy Jam – percussion; arranger; keyboards; backing vocals; handclapping; producer; drum programming; rhythm arrangements; keyboard programming; synthesizer programming

Jellybean Johnson – percussion; keyboards; background vocals; handclapping; drum programming; rhythm arrangements; keyboard programming; synthesizer programming on “Criticize

Additional personnel

Cherrelle – arranger; lead vocals and backing vocals on “Never Knew Love Like This

Spencer Bernard – programming; sequencing

David Eiland – saxophone soloist on “Never Knew Love Like This

Steve Hodge – percussion on “The Lovers“; engineer

Lisa Keith – backing vocals on “(What Can I Say) To Make You Love Me”, “The Lovers” and “Criticize“; vocal arrangements on “Criticize

Randy Ran – backing vocals on “The Lovers“, “Never Knew Love Like This”, “Sunshine” and “When the Party’s Over

Kelli Anderson – handclaps on “Hearsay” and “The Lovers

Jerome Benton – chants on “Fake

James Greer – handclapping on “The Lovers“, chants on “Fake

Karen Williams, Cheryl Yvette Woodard, Delinda Miller, Trish A. Woods, Margie Abrahamson, Carra Wallace – party

guests on interludes

Clarence Avant – executive producer

Brian Gardner – mastering

Stafford – photography

Dale Wehlacz – art direction, design

Chart performance

Australian Albums Chart – 94

Austrian Albums Chart – 22

Dutch Albums Chart – 12

NZ Albums Chart – 47

Norwegian Chart – 18

Swedish Albums Chart – 13

UK Albums Chart – 4

US Billboard Chart – 29

German Albums Chart – 22

Certifications

United Kingdom (BPI) – 3× Platinum

United States (RIAA) – Gold

Club Fact File

Liverpool
Founded1892
Turned Professional1892
Admitted to the League1893
GroundAnfield
Capacity54,074
Previous Ground(s)None
Previous NamesNone
Nickname(s)Reds, ‘Pool
Trophies
League Champions1900-01, 1905-06, 1921-22, 1922-23, 1946-47, 1963-64, 1965-66, 1972-73, 1975-76, 1976-77, 1978-79, 1979-80, 1981-82, 1982-83, 1983-84, 1985-86, 1987-88, 1989-90
Division 21893-94, 1895-96, 1904-05, 1961-62
FA Cup Winners1965, 1974, 1986, 1989, 1992, 2001, 2006
League Cup Winners1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1995, 2001, 2003, 2012
Charity Shield1966, 1974, 1976, 1979, 1980, 1982, 1988, 1989, 2001, 2006 and shared in 1964, 1965, 1977, 1990
Champions League / European Cup1977, 1978, 1981, 1984, 2005
UEFA Cup1973, 1976, 2001
European Super Cup1977, 2001, 2005
League Seasons
Seasons in Premier League (Top Flight)114
Seasons in Championship (Tier 2)11
Seasons in League 1 (Tier 3)0
Seasons in League 2 (Tier 4)0

Story Time

Nowhere

I was standing in the middle of nowhere, well, obviously it was actually somewhere, but I didn’t know where exactly here was. Furthermore I didn’t even know how I had got to be there. I am sure that someone would know exactly where this place was, but how would that someone be able to find me to tell me where this was? In fact, how would anyone know that I was even here? I was actually beginning to believe that I was smack bang, in the middle of nowhere, and I looked around and saw nothing different for as far as my sight would let me see. Granted that wasn’t particularly far due to my poor long distance eyesight, and the fact that everything began to blur into blobs of colour the further it was away.

Wherever this particular nowhere was that I was stood, it was very flat and non-descript, apart from some very sparse tufts of short grass, there was no vegetation that I could make out. The ground beneath my feet was a dark brown colour, or it was underneath what grass there was, so I was fairly sure that I wasn’t in a desert, plus I didn’t think I was in a place that was hot due to the fact there were no tell-tale cracks in the earth. Although to be honest I didn’t however know why I might know this. As I stood there thinking about things, I didn’t seem to know a great deal; about anything. My mind seemed to be almost as blank as the landscape I was stood in the middle of.

So I turned on the spot and searched the horizon in all directions, I could see no signs that might indicate where on Earth I was, or even whether I was actually on Earth. Additionally there was no indication as to how to go about getting to anywhere that wasn’t here. There were no trees to be seen anywhere, no buildings, no roads, no surrounding hills or mountains, no rivers or streams, just dark brown earth with small tufts of grass. It was a never ending picture of monotony, running away from me to the horizon. It shouldn’t have been possible to stand anywhere on Earth, and not see anything taller than myself, except maybe in a desert, which I’m pretty certain this wasn’t.

I looked to the sky for guidance, and found absolutely nothing again. All that could be seen was a total cloud coverage existing over me. As far as I could see or tell, there was the same light grey cloud cover, again all the way to the horizon, forming a straight line join with the dark brown ground in the distance. There was no end to the clouds, not even the smallest gap appeared in them, no little hole with sunlight peering through it. If I could see the sun then I might be able to tell which way I was facing, although even that would be a struggle unless if I knew what hemisphere I was in and what the local time was.

The thought about time caused me to look at my watch, and as I did I was somewhat surprised, and just a little bit perturbed to find that on my wrist, where I was certain I had had a very nice Citizen eco-drive watch, there was instead, a thick, pink piece of shining metal. I moved my wrist up so that I could get a better look at it. No, it definitely wasn’t a watch, it was a pink band of metal around my wrist, with no apparent fastening, but so tight to my wrist that there was no way it could have been squeezed over my hand. I tried pulling at it with my right hand, expecting there to be some give in it, but it was solid. I wondered how the band had got to be on my arm, it must have been a doozy of a night if I had swapped my watch for this only to end up in the middle of nowhere.

With that thought I became aware that there was absolute silence around me. Not just the kind of everyday quiet you might find in a library or a cemetery, but an absolute soundless silence. It was disconcerting, nothing should be that quiet, and I quickly scanned the surrounding area for something that might make a noise. As well as the lack of distinguishing topographical features, it seemed that there were no living creatures anywhere to be found either. I kicked the ground and was somewhat relieved to hear a soft thud as I did so; it was good to know that I hadn’t gone deaf. I continued to kick at the ground, trying to break the ground up. Once I had managed to make a small indentation in the earth, I bent down to inspect it. I was expecting to find some form of life, such as worms, ants or beetles, but there was nothing. I then changed to using my hands to dig and scrape the soil away until I was a good eight inches deep into the ground, and yet there were still no living creatures to be found. I quickly glanced up at the sky again, this time trying to catch sight of some bird flying overhead, but apart from the grey clouds for background, there was nothing in the sky either.

I shivered involuntary at the thought that I was the only living creature for miles in any direction, and I screamed as loudly and for as long as my lungs would let me, trying to get a reaction from somewhere. No person or creature heard my scream; I was totally alone in the middle of nowhere, with absolutely no idea where this nowhere was.

I pinched myself, nipping away at the skin, first on my arms, then on my torso, before moving up to my face. I could feel the pinches, some small reassurance that I was there and that I was awake, that I wasn’t only dreaming this strange place, this strange existence that I was in the middle of. I had hoped to suddenly find myself waking up, groggily making my way out of my bed to the bathroom, to throw water on my face to clear this nightmare of a place from my consciousness.

It wasn’t to be, and the thought of water had only made me thirsty. I had no idea when I had last drank anything, or eaten anything for that matter too. I would need to find something to cover these requirements in the not too distant future; I really didn’t fancy eating grass.

I needed to start moving, to try and find something different, to get away from the monotony here, but i didn’t know which direction to go in for the best, and I wasn’t great at making logical decisions. I decided to close my eyes and then spin around on the spot whilst I counted to twenty. When I opened my eyes I nearly fell over and I had no idea which direction I was facing in, and whether it was any different from when I started, but I was facing in a direction, and I strode off that way.

I walked for a long while, then I walked some more, the landscape didn’t change, the ground stayed the same, the sky stayed same, the horizon stayed the same. In fact the only thing that changed was how I felt. I felt thirstier, hungrier and tired now, with still no remedy to any of that in sight. I glanced at my wrist again hoping to see what time it was only to find that the pink band of metal was still in place where my watch should have been. It was disconcerting not knowing the passage of time, I was sure I had been moving long enough that there should have been a change in the light, it should have been getting dark by now, but everything was still the same. Was anything ever going to change again?

I sank to the ground and I started to cry, I closed my eyes and did something that I hadn’t done since I was a child; I prayed. I prayed that I could leave, be able to find my way out of this strange dull place that was devoid of all life except mine, I prayed that I could be back in my normal humdrum life, promising never to moan about it ever again if I did find my way back there.

Almost immediately it seemed that my prayers had been answered, as i heard the loud, shrill sound of some kind of air horn. I opened my eyes, finding myself staring up at a mass of theatre billboards on Broadway, I was suddenly in New York, somewhere I had never been before, but that I recognised from countless films and TV shows, it was somewhere I had always wanted to go, and now magically I was here.

A great wave of relief washed over me, though it was the last emotion that I ever felt, as the Mack truck whose horn had dragged me to my senses, pulling me to this place and time, hit me at forty miles an hour and killed me instantly.

I should have been more careful about what I prayed for.

Puzzle Corner

Quiz

Answers from Issue 11

The artist to have had all seven of Sire Record’s number one singles was Madonna, the seven singles were, “Into The Groove”, “Papa Don’t Preach”, “True Blue”, “La Isla Bonita”, “Who’s That Girl”, “Like A Prayer”, and “Vogue”.

This Issue’s quiz.

Famous Fives – Name the five answers to each of the five groups.

The Famous Five (as in the Enid Blyton books).

The five books of the Torah (Bonus points for the Hebrew names).

The five colours of the Olympic Rings.

The five elements that start with the letter H.

The five Dickens’ books whose titles are men’s names with both a forename and surname only.

Crossword

Banbury

Sudoku

Issue 11’s Solution

791863452
634152978
852974136
967385214
518427693
423691587
289536741
346719825
175248369

This issue’s puzzle

4      7 
  95    2
16  9  5 
  5  3   
 4 6 1 9 
   7  6  
 3  2  16
7    85  
 2      9

Dilbert

Epilogue

If you want to catch up on old issues, Drabbles I’ve had published, or the random scribbling from a bored mind on my blog then they are all available at http://www.onetruekev.co.uk/

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