I had a stye recently. I could feel it coming on and Helen said to me to go to the chemist and ask to speak to the pharmacist to give me something for it. So I did. I went to Kamson’s on Tilgate Parade, where their pharmacist said there was nothing, they could give me and to go away and dab it with a warm cloth several times a day.
Unhappy with this suggestion Helen got me to go the pharmacist at the Kamson’s next to Southgate Medical Practice. I didn’t see a pharmacist there, but the woman behind the counter gave me eye drops straight away, and so I started using them.
That was on the Monday night. Yet by Friday it was obvious the eyedrops weren’t really working and the stye had grown and I now had a yellow pus filled third eye, which I was using to great effect to freak Helen out with.
So, it was another trip, to another chemist and another pharmacist. This time at Saxonbrook in the town centre. He took one look at my eye and gave me some anti-biotic cream to put in the eye. Which is what Helen had hoped I would have got from the first pharmacist if they had been any good.
Anyway, I do love the name of the anti-biotic cream.
Goldeneye. As a Bond fan the film comes to mind. Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Alan Cumming, et al. And each time I got the tube out to put more gunk in my eye I could hear Tina Turner’s dulcet tones singing the theme tune. And although the video game is one of the best known and best loved games of all time, I never thought of that. Mainly as my game playing over the years is limited, due to both a lack of interest and a lack of talent (the latter may well have influenced the former).
Putting the ointment in the eye was interesting. Once the first few millimetres came out of the tube it took on a life of its own and would keep coming out without any pressure being applied to it. which would be fine if it stayed in a line for easy application, but it curled up like a pack of demented quavers and kept coming out. Even shouting ‘stop porridge pot stop’ wouldn’t prevent it, only the lid going back on did.
And once in the eye, that was the cue for at least ten minutes of blurred vision under the film of ointment.
But it worked. The third eye popped and disappeared on day two and by the end of the five days recommended course of treatment, the stye had gone.
The only question I have after that would be if you only need an inch of the ointment four times a day for five days, why after that period is over is the tube still three quarters full when it is expressly stated to throw any remains away? Either make smaller tubes, or have it able to be used more than a five-day period after opening. The waste is massive (and therefore expensive).
Just stop. (and not the porridge pot variety either.)