Well that was more exciting than it should have been. There were several things about the game that shouldn’t have been. Has a win ever felt so flat? If it was week 10 or something like that then it wouldn’t be as bad, but this kind of roller coaster performance and plain lunacy in not going to inspire confidence when it is week 1 (it could only be worse if it was week 18 and a wild card game was forthcoming).
Our first play from scrimmage of the season was a nightmare, to fumble the first snap and turn the ball over after a decent defensive stand is criminal. Fortunately, we got the ball back nearly straight away, and that initial snap snafu didn’t seem to affect Jimmy G for the rest of the game. All in all, he played a good game, the stats line and general play was good, especially in the first half when it was the Lions trying to shoot themselves in the foot with every opportunity.
The second drive marched down the field, and Trey was introduced when we were in the red zone. With his first pass attempt in the NFL he connected with Trent Sherfield (for his first 49ers catch) for a touchdown. The first player to pass for a TD on their first attempt since 2010, when of all people Tim Tebow did it. I hope that’s not some kind of omen.
We exchanged scores to get to a 14-10 lead before really taking off (the downside being an injury picked up by Mostert which meant he didn’t return). Halfway into the third quarter we’d managed to stretch out to a 38-10 lead, and three minutes into the fourth quarter it was 41-17. Absolutely nothing to worry about. At all. We got this covered.
Well, apart from the injuries. Hardly a play seemed to go by without another player being helped off. The most serious of which was to Verrett, who it was later confirmed suffered an ACL. Not ideal when our cornerback position is the one with the least strength in depth (as the targeting of Donate Johnson showed). Yes, we have Josh Norman in the 53-man squad, but the jury is out on whether he is still the player he used to be. He talks a good game. Well he talks, pretty much non-stop, but unless he’s going to be catching balls with his motor mouth, I’m not convinced.
The two-minute warning has gone when the Lions scored a touchdown and get the two-point conversion they needed. But that’s fine, it’s not like they are going to recover an onside kick. Erm, OK, yes, they are, the ball pops up unexpectedly and hits Kittle in the facemask and the Lions recover. 46 seconds later they’ve another TD and 2-point conversion, and it’s getting twitchy.
A second onside kick is recovered by Warner and there is a massive sigh of relief. When Deebo caught a catch to get first down yardage three plays later there was a big shout of yes, only for a split second later it to change to a strangled cry of NO! as he fumbled, and it was recovered by the Lions. Nearly as many fumbles going on as at a High School Prom.
The last time I witnessed this kind of fuckwittery and complete collapse, Shanahan was on the side line too. I’m not referring to the Superbowl where we lost to the Chiefs eighteen months or so ago. No, it was a Superbowl, but the one where the Falcons managed to blow the biggest lead in history to let the damn Patriots win another fucking Superbowl.
Fortunately, this time around the defence just about managed to hold on and prevent the Lions scoring, and we could take a knee with 12 seconds left to see out a victory that should have been a damn sight easier than it was. It felt more like a Kelly or Tomsula performance, which is never a good sign.
There are many questions. A lot more than there should be after an opening day win in which we score 40+ points. Are we forever injury jinxed? Has Bosa fully recovered? How the hell are our current cornerbacks going to deal with Deandre Hopkins, or DJ Metcalfe (and others) twice a season? Can Shanahan call a complete game without any bonehead decisions?
There were times when it felt like (pretty average back) D’Andre Swift was Moses with the way the defence opened up like the Red Sea. Late in the fourth quarter the camera panned to Shanahan and it looked like he’d aged and gone grey during that quarter. He wasn’t the only one. I think it was Dipak that said the Lions showed more heart and courage than the 49ers did. With the Lion and Tin Man covered, I think we played like the Scarecrow in that last quarter, and to paraphrase Dorothy, “Thank God we’re not playing Kansas anymore.”
I’m not sure my heart can take this kind of crap for another 16 games. I was thinking the second game of the season at the Eagles would be another easy game to take us to 2-0 before returning to play at home, but with a performance like this, and the Eagles showing surprising signs of life in their own week 1 victory, I’m left thinking there is no such thing as an easy game playing like this and I’m going to need to get some beta blockers to survive the season.
And while I’m at it, a quick top 10 inspired by the game
- The Smiths – Panic
- Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax (Don’t Do It!)
- Queen – Another One Bites The Dust
- Red Hot Chili Peppers – Give It Away
- Raphael Saadiq – Heart Attack
- Trey Songz – Fumble
- Weird Al Yankovic – Dare To Be Stupid
- Charlie Peacock – Almost Threw It All Away
- Bastille – Good Grief (Watching Through My Fingers)
- Toni Braxton – Breathe Again