It has been mentioned by lots of people, in lots of ways, and lots of times, that parking in the area of Brighton & Hove is hellish.
That my friends would appear to be somewhat of an understatement. I need to go back and re-read some of my Dante, as I’m fairly sure one of his circles must have been all about parking in Hove.
We had headed down to go to the Brighton Book Fair, being held in the church hall of All Saints Church, on the corner of The Drive. What had been a nice morning had transformed into a drizzly afternoon. We were stopping for food first so had aimed for The Stoneham, some way away from The Drive, and tried to find some parking nearby.
Now every street in Hove is either permit parking, or pay and display, or both. There is no such thing as free parking. I don’t know what that space is on the Brighton & Hove version of Monopoly, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be free (unless they are deliberately taking the piss).
When we eventually found a non-permit space, it was then the fun and games of trying to find somewhere to pay for said parking. By no means an easy task. Along the whole of the street we had parked on, on both sides of the road there wasn’t a parking machine to be seen where we could put in some money and get a ticket to display.
Instead every lamppost and railings had a sign about phoneandpark. A number to ring to pay for parking. A number which when you do ring refers you to a god damn app to download for your phone to pay for parking regardless of the option you choose, and then cuts you off. So you have to download the app. Then you have to register your details, then the car details, then your payment card details, and all of this using your data on your phone because street parking doesn’t have free Wi-Fi.
And then when you’ve wasted ten minutes of your life registering the app, choosing your location, and the time to park and you press the pay button what happens? You find that the robbing bastards charge you an extra forty pence surcharge for paying for the parking via the app.
The app that they forced you to use because there are no fucking parking machines on the street where you have parked. The app they have forced you to use because they are too much of a cheapskate to pay for people to answer the fucking phone.
Brighton & Hove council, you are a bunch of thieving cunts that deserve to be shot. Fuck you and your shithole of a city.